Leaving Town Alive
by hey-torch
Summary: Brooke plans a long weekend to try to erase all the drama and hopefully help mend the cracked relationships between her close friends. It's perfect. But in Tree Hill, even the simplest plans hit brick walls. . . slight AU S3
1. Shatterday

**A/N: **Hello again! I mentioned in the a/n of my one shot "Walk on Water or Drown" that when I went to write that story out I found one I wrote roughly a year ago and in rereading all that I already had done at that point, the inspiration flew back in my face and I've almost finished it. So this is me putting that up here now hoping you don't hate it. This is in the season 3 world but I'm moving some things around:

Brooke and Lucas are in full on relationship mode. Nathan and Haley are not back together, they're in that awkward in between where they're civil and friendly. Peyton is still angry and resentful about Haley/Ellie's appearance. Rachel doesn't exist yet.

p.s. I love, love, love the Brooke/Haley friendship that developed in S3 and would desperately love some of that back in the new seasons…so that'll be in here.

I think that's everything…Alrighty, here we go!

**Summary: Brooke plans a long weekend to try to erase all the drama and hopefully help mend the cracked relationships between her close friends. It's perfect. But in Tree Hill, even the simplest plans hit brick walls. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill in any way and make no such claim by writing this.**

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"_My days are numbered _

_Three, Two, One_

_And when you bit the bullet,_

_I held the smoking gun"_

_'Shatterday'_

Vendetta Red

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Her breath came out in visible clouds.

She curled further under her leather jacket, doing her best to absorb every ounce of warmth it would proved. How long ago had the heat stopped working? She wasn't sure, but she could feel all the shivers of her bones.

Running her eyes over her surroundings, she was thankful, for once, that Brooke always packed an outrageous amount of clothes no matter how brief the stay. It was only to be a four days, and yet the girl had brought three suitcases of wardrobe. Almost all of which, plus what could be used of hers and Haley's, were being used to try to generate heat for the occupants in the flat trunk space of the wrecked SUV where they had all been since yesterday.

Sitting upright against the backside of one of the back seats, the blonde looked towards the other occupants: Brooke, who, though she claimed to be fine, was most likely going to need stitches for that nasty cut, was currently throwing all hope and into the body heat method. The brunette positioned herself under the same draped clothing that covered her roommate. She could hear her mumbling, half asleep as she clung tightly to the girl.

Haley had gone quiet and still not long before the snow stopped. In all honesty, Peyton was surprised she'd stayed that long. Between the two of them, they'd been attempting to keep the girl awake and warm to the best of their abilities. But hours had passed, by now, without heat and without response from Haley.

And Brooke was a wreck.

Brooke blamed herself.

Brooke was wrong.

Peyton knew what happened and why. She knew why they'd had to literally drag the injured, frozen girl out of the snow. Knew why her best friend had been crying and begging _her_ best friend to wake up. Assuring her she'd be ok. Asking God to please let her be ok.

That was one of the few things Peyton didn't know about their situation…if God would answer. Another being when help would come. If it would come. Surely the guys had to be worried by now, right? Someone had to be, all this time without being able to get hold of one of them.

"…and we'll eat it out of the tub." she heard Brooke's voice mutter. Bargaining promises as she held her body close. "And Nathan will get over himself and you'll be wearing the wife label again…"

Peyton directed her attention away as Brooke continued to speak shivering words of promise. Instead moving the hands hidden by the jacket to remove the small item from her pocket. The small metal feeling the weight of an anvil the whole time she held to it now, though in reality it was obviously a lot lighter.

Yep, Brooke was definitely wrong. She knew who's fault it really was.

Holding it up to gaze at it, knowing her friend was too occupied to notice what she was doing…more specifically what it was she was holding.

It was her fault.

Slipping it, with a shivering hand, back in her pocket, she sighed. Happy she hadn't slipped out any tears, surely they would have harden to ice on her cheeks. God she was cold.

Her fingers ached, clutching tightly to the leather, she watched her breath turn to puffs of white to dance away and dissipate. She remembered being a kid, she used to be so tickled by it; when it would be cold enough to see her breath. It didn't happen too often in North Carolina…snow was especially a rare treat. And lucky for them, that rarity had decided to descend upon them. Now the white clouds of breath were just dreadful things she would be happy to never see again. Looking over to Brooke, her own mouth birthing the same clouds as she curled against her roommate, who's own breath produced merely wisps lighter than either of them.

Peyton thought, as she shivered beneath the coat, to lie with them as well. It would be helpful to all three of them really. She could help with available body heat, plus taking up under the multiple layers of clothing was tempting. They'd figured Haley would obviously need the warmth the most out of the three of them. Peyton, the guilt roaring in the pit of her stomach, had been keeping away. Choosing instead to make herself as small as possible under jacket and sit by herself. Brooke, who had no focus but her other friend, hadn't said anything to Peyton since the blonde accidentally muttered a rather morbid thought aloud:

'_She's gonna die…'_

She hadn't meant to. She'd just been dwelling on the situation, on the part she'd played, and on her luck with people.

Her frigid bones screamed as she finally decided on moving. On going ahead with her notion. Even if Brooke wasn't pleased with her at the moment, Peyton didn't believe she'd turn her away. Especially right now. Plus, as she'd thought already, the extra body would help create more heat. Scooting - less then gracefully- from her spot, she came to her friend.

Without a word, the blonde situated herself at the brunettes black, who continued to speak. Not being instantly rebuffed, she cautiously slipped her arm over her oldest friend. Surprised, quite happily, when the girl responded by laying her own hand over Peyton's and pulling it tighter. Peyton noticed she'd stopped talking when she did this. There was a second of silence she feared to break as she felt the other girl's body shake next to her. And she knew it wasn't all because of the temperature. Though not looking at her face, she knew her lip was quivering as the emotion threatened to overtake her.

"Peyton…" the voice broken with fear and pain, breaking her heart more than any other time she'd heard the word come from her lips.

"I know." she replied, trying to calm her pain. Holding her tighter, desperately, as the sobs began. The terrifying, wretched sobs of a soul in agony. Now her own tears came; silently. Sniffling, she said nothing, letting Brooke get it all out. Lying securely behind the crying girl, she reached over, laying her hand on the sleeping girl. Feeling for, maybe, some kind of sign that would show that sleep was all it was.

Time passed, silent save for the slowly diminishing cries of the girl in her arms, until finally they'd reduced to sniffles and shaking breaths. Brooke had released all her tears and once she calmed down enough to do so, she immediately began talking again.

"Alright, " the brunette began, her breathing returning to normal. "you win. You can do as many cheesy covers you want. Accidental or not, and I'll leave you alone. I'll even help. I'll sing 'Wind Beneath My Wings" if you - "

She stopped her words, editing the original end of her sentence; replacing it with "Peyton." tapping the girl's hands for her attention and lifting her head at the sound. "Do you hear that?"

The blonde, too, lifted her head to listen to the familiar sound, faint yet growing closer. "Yeah…" another second. "Yes!" more excited. She pulled away from Brooke to look out the frosted glass. She definitely heard it, a beautiful sound: Sirens.

"Oh my God." she grabbed her jacket, adrenaline overpowering her tired, frozen body, she climbed over the backseat. Pulling the emptied suitcase out of the window, where it had been lodged to compensate for the shattered glass. "Oh my God." again in a hurry, Peyton pulled herself out the window, barely getting her feet under her before she began running.

Taking off towards the slight slope of snow. The sirens getting louder, she pushed herself harder than she could ever recall, to get herself up to the road in time. Maybe it didn't have to happen. If she could get there, maybe she wouldn't be responsible for a death. Maybe everything would work out and she'd never have to tell Brooke or anybody that this was all her fault.

Finally making it to the road just in time to see the patrol car drive past her.

"Wait!" she shouted desperately, running out onto the road. She screamed, collapsing on the frozen pavement, tears again. "Come back!"

Then, maybe God didn't hate her as much as she thought, she heard the skid of a car slamming on it's breaks. Looking up, through the tears, she saw the red and blue lights had stopped moving. She stood up as they began a reverse path back in her direction. Halting on the shoulder just in front of her, she thought she was going to pass out, she ran to the driver side door as he rose out of it.

"Are you ok?" he asked the girl in the road, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Are you one of the girls from Tree Hill?"

She couldn't even think to nod to his question. She just began rambling to the officer:

"Down here-Down there…we need help."

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	2. Thick As Thieves

**A/N: Ok, putting this one up with the first, so I have no idea what sort (if any) response I've got yet. But at present time, I still have about 6 hours of train ride to go through so this is how i pass some of that time.**

**In tradition of some of my favorite movies…we started in the middle of the story and will now rewind to the beginning …make sense? Enjoy **

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"_Just keep your mouth shut_

_Keep your guard up_

_I swear I'll make it right"_

_'Thick as Thieves'_

Dashboard Confessional

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"Ok." The girl voiced, satisfied from the other side of the room. Looking down at the selection of luggage resting by the door. Clapping excitedly, "Perfect." tilting her head to the side a moment then turning around to face the room's other occupant, finally giving her attention to her. "Now, what were you saying?"

With an sigh, her roommate spoke again from her seat on the couch. "I don't know if this is such a good idea."

"Haley!" she whined, moving to flop down dramatically on the seat next to her. "Come on."

"I'm sorry, Brooke." she replied. "I know you planned this whole thing-"

"Yes I did." she interrupted. "And _you_ said you'd come."

"You kind of didn't give me a choice."

"You have to come!" she continued, disregarding her argument. "We're on Christmas Vacation. Vacation! Meaning we're supposed to vacate our lives and all the messy problem that go along with them and just have fun."

"Brooke-"

"We go for a few days and come back in time for family Christmas time…" she paused a breath and added. "For those who qualify anyway."

"Except the center of all my problems and worries will be there." looking down at her hands, specifically the gold band on her left hand. She couldn't even say whether or not he noticed she was wore it. But she noticed for sure that he did not wear his.

"Ok," her friend began, noticing where her friend had - not subtly - directed her eyes. Putting her hand over hers to be sure she had broke the stare on the metal. "a couple of things. Listen to me. One; you and Nathan are totally civil around each other, right? I mean you can be in the same room, have a conversation without him shouting, walking away or cursing the day he met you right?"

"Well, yeah. But -"

"Two: Nathan totally agreed to come, knowing full well that you, his estranged kind of wife, would be there. And three: as I mentioned, it's Christmas Vacation. Keyword, Christmas. Meaning cheesy, wishes come true, miracles happen, mushy feelings in the air? I mean, who knows," turning serious as she held the girl's eyes. "he could be wearing his before the weekend's over."

"Yeah." she whispered, though doubting the scenario. She twisted the ring around her finger, having the same debate she had everyday. Take it off, keep it on. Suddenly, the painful need to lighten the mood. "Technically, though, it's Winter Vacation. Being politically correct it has to be either 'winter' or 'holiday'."

"Yeah, yeah." Brooke spoke, "Christmas, Hanukkah…" throwing her hands in the air "…Arbor Day, whatever. It's a vacation and you, my dear Tutorgirl, are coming and you're vacating with the rest of us. Ok?"

"Ok." agreeing. Accepting the embrace she was then pulled into and returning with her own.

"Besides, if you stay here by yourself you know you're just going to sit around on this couch eating all our ice cream and playing those annoying accidental cover songs with no one to tell you to stop. And that is not ok."

"No, it's not ok." she chuckled. God love Brooke Davis…and she did too. She'd turned out to be a really incredible friend to have in her corner during all this mess since she'd come back.

A quick knock on the door preceding the entrance of their company. Peyton's initial smile upon entry fading obviously to her true feelings of bitterness towards her best friend's new best friend. Clearing her throat, "Ready?" speaking directly to Brooked.

"Willing and able." she answered, excited for their getaway. "Just waiting for your skinny ass to show."

"Well, my ass is here and so is the rest of me." she quipped. "So can we go?"

"Yes ma'am." throwing the keys to the blonde. "Let's roll P. Sawyer."

"Oh, I don't think so Davis." tossing them right back then counting on her fingers as she spoke. "Your rental, your cabin, your trip, you're driving."

"Alright." she surrendered. "Your driving sucks anyway."

"Thanks." she replied sarcastically. "So are we leaving today or not?"

"Says the slowpoke." slapping her palm on Haley's thigh, she instructed. "Let's go. Grab your stuff roomie."

"Ok." Peyton's mood once again disappearing at the reminder of the other girl's presence in the room as well as the trip. "I'll meet you guys down at the car. Don't forget your guitar." she spoke curtly before leaving.

Haley sighed, looking at the still open doorway, then to Brooke.

"And what number was she on that list of yours?" she asked tilting her head towards the entryway.

"Don't worry about Peyton." she instructed. "After hours in the car, followed by four days in an isolated cabin, followed by another lengthy car ride, she's bound to get over it." pausing a moment. "Or kill you. Either way you won't have to worry about it anymore."

"Great." answering with false enthusiam.

"Vacate." she said again, like some sort of slogan or mantra. "Now did you hear me or not? Get you crap. We're hitting the road."

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Sitting on the bumper of the silver rented SUV, she waited. She would've preferred taking her car, but that damn 'Check Engine' light had shown it's ugly head on the way to school yesterday and she wasn't risking it. Brooke's car was way too small to be in for such a long ride. And Haley didn't even have a car. So Brooke, got this one for the trip she planned.

Crossing her arms over her chest, the wind nipped at the exposed skin of her face. The gray sky had started to spit flurries out and down onto them. Unexpected, of course, it didn't often snow there; being North Carolina and all. But there were the occasional white Christmases. Hardly ever more than a layer of thin powder that didn't stick anyway. Though she couldn't help but remember the best snow storm she'd ever experienced.

"Hey." snapping out of her thoughts, the voice literally bringing her head out of the clouds.

"Jeez, Brooke." looking at the bags she brought with her. "How long are we staying again?"

Opening the back to let her friend load her luggage in the flat back of the car. Brooke grunting at the effort to lift the biggest one while Peyton moved another then unzipped it to have a look.

"Damn Brooke." she critiqued as she rifled through her friend's packing.

"What?" she asked innocently after finally getting the large bag up and into the car. "Everything I'm bringing is a necessity."

"Really?" she asked, holding a red laced bra up against her chest. "Necessity?"

"Hello." grabbing it." The fact that I have a very juicy piece of man meat as my bunk buddy makes this absolutely necessary, thank you."

"Luke's eyes won't be all that bulge when he sees it."

"Bet your ass." raising her eyebrow, "So keep those A-cups away from it." she teased, smacking Peyton with the lingerie before sticking it back in the bag. "

"Ok." her friend laughed back at her.

After a second, Brooke bit her bottom lip, thinking on her words before she started to say them. She hated to possibly ruin the good mood of the moment, but couldn't not say a few things. Cautiously, she spoke.

"Peyton, about Haley-" the blonde slammed the trunk down hard, making Brooke jump the slightest bit, then turned to face the her friend, stare as cold as the declining temperature. "You're obviously still mad at her for reasons that, personally, I'm pretty sure are misdirected, but you have to promise to be nice to her."

She scoffed in reply and looked away from her friend, not believing she was hearing this from her.

"Please?"

"Are you kidding me?" she asked, shaking her head. "I'm sorry Brooke, I know you guys are-are like these tight little friends now, or whatever, but I'm not going to just forget what she did and pretend her coming back erases her leaving in the first place."

"She's hurting, Pey. She's in a bad place and trying to make up for it all."

"Oh, boo-hoo." she replied cynically. " And what about Nathan? What about his pain or the bad place he was in because of her? Or does that not matter because he's not your new best friend."

"Nathan's coming too, remember?" she reminded her, looking towards the apartment to see her roommate exit, a single bag in hand. "He's giving her a chance, why can't you?"

There was a pause as Peyton held her friend's eyes but didn't answer her question. Finally opening her mouth to speak, she shut it quickly when the reason for their disagreement was among them. Awkward. So very awkward and uncomfortable was the silence surrounding the trio. Looking nervously between her two best friends, who didn't look at each other, Brooke finally cleared her throat and threw back on her best Brooke Davis personality.

"About time." she spoke lightly. "Let's go."

Peyton looked at Brooke's pleading eyes a few moments before shaking her head and sighing. Then catching eyes with the third girl she spoke sharply: "Shotgun." before walking past Haley, making sure to bump shoulders on the way.

Brooke gave her arm a squeeze, an attempt to assure her it would be ok, and quietly she instructed "Come on." before moving to the driver's side. Opening the back, Haley threw her bag in the trunk and after closing it, she took a deep breath and spoke to herself.

"Vacate."

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"What are you doing?" the voice coming from behind him. He answered without turning around or pausing his actions.

"Packing."

"I can see that." the older man stated, stepping into the room. "You going somewhere?"

"Well I _am _packing." he pointed out again. "So yes."

"Mind telling me where?"

Nathan sighed, turning to face him, deciding he'd rather have the exchange over with as quickly as possible.

"Brooke's cabin. I'll be gone a couple days."

"A couple…?" he repeated, "You do realize Christmas in in a week?"

"Yes." he nodded. "That's why it's only a couple days." emphasizing the last words.

"Uh-huh." Dan spoke, looking at one of the random posters of someone he'd never heard of on his son's wall, "And who's going?"

"People." he answered, shrugging. "What's it matter?" turning back to the bag on his bed, he returned to put his clothes inside.

"Haley one of these people?" watching his son's movements halt a brief moment before continuing his actions. It was the answer to his question. "Right…Be careful, son."

"I'm not talking to you about this." shoving shirts in the bag more forcefully now.

"That girl's a predator posing as a house pet. She'll do or say anything to her claws back into you and everything you have now that her little music career is over."

"That's enough, Dad." he spoke through clenched teeth.

"Just telling you-"

"I said enough!" turning to face him.

His father lifted his hands in surrender, mouthing a quiet 'Ok', before backing out of the room. Once alone, Nathan sat down on his mattress, shoving his bag to the floor. After a second, he lifted the chain from it's hiding place under the shirt to inspect the circle hanging on it.

What was he thinking doing this? He didn't know what this trip would bring, or why he even agreed to go.

Lie.

He knew why. The same reason he kept the ring, though out of sight. It was simple.

Hope.


	3. Over My Head

**A/N: So response hasn't been too vast in the review area but my way of thought is as long as i've at least as many reviews as i've chapters, it's worth continuing. :) **

"_I wish you were a stranger I could disengage_

_Just say that we agree and then never change_

_Soften a bit until we all just get along"_

_'Over My Head (Cable Car)'_

_~The Fray_

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Static came through the speakers, randomly allowing a snippet of voice or music to escape through. Switching away from the broken song, Peyton began pressing the numbered knobs and cursing silently as each station, one after the other, had the same sounds. After another cycle of trying each button and a few twists and turns on tuning dial, she gave up. Turning off the noise altogether, she sat back in the seat with a sigh and stared out the window.

The weather had significantly worsened since they'd set out…was it only two hours ago? The surprise flurries of earlier had since become a full on storm; a falling mixture of rain and snow creating a nasty winter mess. Bad enough to interfere with broadcast clarity, bad enough to keep the usually chatty driver relatively silent and focused. Glancing left, the concentration evident on the girl's face. Her brow furrowed, Brooke's eyes remained glued ahead, guiding the car down the road.

What road?

Peyton couldn't see how she even managed to stay on the asphalt, let alone know where the hell they were. But, in all fairness, she had always known Brooke to be a great driver; which always seemed to be a ridiculous compliment to give someone, but in this case it was true. She'd been riding shotgun with the girl while she'd been speeding, texting and humming along with the radio and still they'd arrived alive and on time. And without a single horn honked on top of that. Of course it had taken a while for her to be able to ride along in those situations without her heart jumping into her throat. Now it was just the norm when riding with the girl.

But, however comfortable she may be with her friend's driving style, she felt much better seeing her as intently focused as she was, with both hands on the wheel.

Moving her eyes now, behind the driver's seat to the other passenger, who was staring out the window as silent as everyone else. At first, Brooke had attempted to get some sort of conversation going between them all. Trying with everything from plans for the weekend once they all arrived to the latest episode of something or other that she watched. It was only the treacherous weather that had finally silenced her attempts.

The only thing worse than the weather outside the car was the atmosphere within. So very, painfully, uncomfortable. And the previous attempts by the driver really only hurt it more than helped Asking her to be nice…like she could even pretend to do that at this point. Why she thought they'd be gossiping or chatting the whole way there was not her brightest moment. So it had been the radio that spoke for them. At least until they got far enough out of town and into the storm, then that too fell to silence.

The girl - former friend, former wife, technically still wife on paper, to her friend - kept her eyes on the whitening world outside. The blonde couldn't help but caster her eyes to her hands. Twisting the metallic band around her finger, sliding it up and down, on and off. It did nothing to help with her feelings towards her.

When Haley's eyes looked from the window, catching her staring, Peyton tried thinking quickly of an excuse, speaking "Give me my bag from back there." not exactly polite in her request, earning her a quick glance from the driver. Adjusting in her spot, Haley reached over the back seat and brought the bag from the trunk, handing it to the waiting blonde.

Grabbing it, Peyton turned back around wordlessly, setting the backpack on her lap. Her eyes flicking up to catch one of the scarce glances the driver allowed, a demand or maybe a plea in them for the second they were connected before switching back to the windshield. Yeah, yeah…Brooke was her best friend. Haley was Brooke's friend. Ergo, she was supposed to buddy up with her. Stupid.

Swallowing what felt like an invisible pill in her throat, she spoke again without turning around.

"Thanks." The small semblance of kindness was a bone she was willing to throw for Brooke's sake. But she wouldn't be making habit of it.

"Your welcome." the quiet response the gesture earned her.

"Yeah." Peyton said to herself, unzipping the bag, wondering if she'd brought any cds with her. All she had was her ipod but no adaptor for the car. She had her headphones, but that would really piss Brooke off if she sat there listening to music herself and seemingly ignoring everything else. Dropping the bag between her feet on the floor, she looked out the windshield at the messy glass. "Brooke, can you even see anything?"

The brunette was squinting at the glass, the wipers smearing the mush stuck to them on the surface as they attempted to clear it.

"These stupid things are making it worse." she complained, the words inspiring Haley to scoot up on the seat, peering between the front seats to take a look herself. "It's the gunk or whatever, it's sticking to the wiper things."

"Maybe we should pull over." the suggestion from the backseat, "Clear off the wipers, maybe even hang 'til it calms a little bit?"

Peyton hated to agree with her, she _really _did, but she had to. If they kept on as they were, they'd be driving completely blind in no time. She'd been to the cabin enough times over the course of her friendship with Brooke to know basic structure of the trip there. Narrow lanes, curves, steep woodsy slopes on either side. All that plus storm, plus blind driving equaled an unhappy ending for all involved parties. She'd swallow pride and personal feelings if it meant avoiding that equation.

"Haley's right."

"I know , I know. I got it." Brooke answered slowing carefully to a stop, switching on the caution lights and putting the car in park. "Ok, go ahead."

Peyton, who'd been staring out her window - maybe a few yards of flat ground before it began to slope steeper and steeper until surely a straight drop - realized Brooke spoke to her and turned quickly.

"Excuse me?"

"Someone's gotta go out there and clear it off."

"And?"

"Well, I'm not going to do it." she stated firmly. "I'm the driver."

"Well I'm - "

"I'll do it." Haley volunteered, quickly stopping the pointless debate before it came to the inevitable conclusion that -

"Yeah. It was Haley's idea!" Brooke answered as if hearing her roommate's thought.

"Yep, Haley's idea." she agreed from the back, unbuckling her seatbelt and sliding into her coat. "Is there a scraper or brush or something?"

"Umm…" Brooke replied, thinking, "did you bring one?"

"Brooke!" the two said in unison.

"What?" she answered, her voice jumping a pitch. "I'm sorry I wasn't preparing Alaskan traveling weather. Besides, it's not ice anyway, it's like mush. Just grab a shirt or something."

"Yeah, just go ahead and grab one from Brooke's bag." the blonde spoke, looking at the driver as she did.

"No, Haley…" Brooke actually seemed to panic a bit at the notion.

"Calm down. " her roomie instructed, getting her own bag and pulling out a shirt she'd planned to sleep in. She opened the door and rushed out, allowing an angry wind to invade the warm car with it's cruel temperature.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Holy crap!"

Brooke and Peyton reacted respectively to it's entrance.

"Good job, Sawyer." the brunette spoke, while she watched the girl outside swipe at the wet mess sticking to the wipers and glass in clumps.

"What?" Peyton asked, rubbing her hands, still feeling the bite of the cold.

"With Haley." elaborating. Sure, she knew they wouldn't be hugging or anything anytime soon, but to her it was progress. Her statement getting her a familiar look of unpleasantness from the passenger.

"Brooke…" she started in a warning tone.

"Baby steps, P." she interrupted, a small smile lifting the corner of her mouth. "Baby steps."

With a sigh, Peyton leaned away from Brooke and towards her window and muttering "Whatever." Changing the subject she spoke again : "When are the guys planning on heading out?"

"Lucas said he had some stuff to do for Karen then he'll pick up Nathan and Mouth and come on out later tonight."

"Good luck in this."

Before the brunette had time to dwell on the possibility she wouldn't be seeing her boyfriend as soon as she wanted, the back door was opening again. Another gust of the sharp wind tore into the car. Using both hand to pull the door close, Haley reentered the warm car.

"Oh my God!" she said instantly, wrapping her arms around her body, not bothering to take her coat off. "Oh my God, I didn't know it could get that cold here…or anywhere other than the arctic for that matter."

"Good work Tutor Girl."

"Yeah, yeah." she murmured in the back. Her roommate answering by turning the dial to increase the heat.

"Now, let's get out of here." the driver suggested happily.

"Please." Peyton replied to the window.

Putting the car in drive, she turned off the hazard lights and eased pressure onto the gas pedal, ready to get the hell out of there. But nothing.

"What the hell?" pressing harder on the pedal. The engine powered loudly, and the tires squealed and slid. "Damn it!" she cursed, shoving the weight of her body on it, pressing it to the floor. The SUV tried again, this time the vehicle's back end swayed to the side. The occupants each tensing as it's momentum in the snow slid it a foot or so from the road.

Finally stopping, with a jerk and an 'Ow' from Peyton, Brooke put the car in park and sat back. Slamming her hands down on the wheel with a bang.

"Shit!"


	4. This City Is Far From Here

**a/n: Apologies for the gap in updates. In truth this is the first chance I've had to do this. So hopefully I'm forgiven and we can put this ugliness behind us and enjoy the time we have together? P.S. A couple of people have written that they're a bit confused, all will unfold and be made clear. And now…onward! This is a tad long, but there wasn't anywhere I liked to cut it in two….**

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"_This city is far from here_

_Now turn back, turn back I'm scared_

_But in the bright lights we fade_

_Into the rearview mirror"_

'_This City is Far From Here'_

~Aiden

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"Just great!" she shouted angrily, smacking the steering wheel again before looking to the other two passengers. "Just freaking great, what the hell do we do now?"

"Get out and push?" Peyton suggested, only half joking.

"Like hell." Brooke argued. "You felt that wind. I mean, Haley, you want to go back out there and push a car on top of it?" Not waiting for a response, she kept going. "Look…alright, the heat works fine. We've got water and road snacks. I say we hole up until it passes."

"We don't know when it'll pass Brooke!" Peyton debated. "What if it lasts all night? In the morning if it even lasts that long, the battery would be dead. And we have no clue, what the conditions will be like by then. We could be covered in that crap. Then what?"

Peyton sighed at the silent response, trying carefully not to make it any worse.

"Ok, is there a, uh, you know, roadside assistance or something?" she asked. "You know, push the button and talk to the operator; they send a tow or whatever you need." Looking for anything that could be the button.

"If there is, they didn't tell me about it." The brunette answered.

"Jesus, Brooke!"

"What?"

"What did you look for when you rented this damn car?"

"One I could afford, that works, with room for all of us." She defended, still sour after this time that – even though her parents sent her money – she couldn't spend as frivolous as she'd been used to for so very long.

"Yeah. Room for us and all your crap." Peyton spat.

"Ok, everyone needs to just calm down." Haley attempted to mediate from the backseat.

"God!" Peyton growled. "Shut up!" she shouted at the voice.

"Don't yell at her!" Brooke defended loudly to the blonde.

"Brooke, it's ok." Haley told her friend.

"Don't tell me what to do!?" Peyton answered Brooke just as loud. Putting her hands in her hair and frustratingly pulling them back. "I am so sick of you defending her."

"And I'm sick of you tearing into her."

"Guys-" Haley's attempts interrupted as if she hadn't spoken at all.

"She's my friend and you're going to have to learn to deal."

"I'm sitting right here!" she announced from the backseat. One of the things she hated most was being talked about as if she weren't there.

"Well you shouldn't be!" Peyton now looking back at her.

"Hey!" the driver spoke, but the girl continued.

"You shouldn't be here." She continued. "After what you did, you do not deserve to be here. So just call up all your little rockstar friends, have them send a private jet for you and get the hell out!"

"Stop it!" Brooke demanded, shoving the Peyton's shoulder, now the one being ignored.

"You know," Haley began, shaking her head, "I don't get it, Peyton. Are you pissed because I left or because I came back?" she asked. "Tell me, I'd like to know what exactly I'm supposed to be begging forgiveness for. SO whenever you make up your mind, please clue me in."

"I don't have to explain myself to you." She stated. "I don't owe you anything."

"But I owe you, right?" Haley asked. "For some reason, I have a debt to you I can only pay by being miserable and hated for the rest of my life. Why? I mean, do you even know?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well you're not the most decisive person are you? I mean you had all the time in the world to decide you wanted Lucas, but no. You couldn't man up and admit it until he was with your _best friend_. And even then, you didn't have the guts to tell her straight out!"

"Do not-"

"What?" Haley interrupted her, she continued. She'd held back for too long, letting this girl beat her down. "Don't remind you that you're not in a position to judge me? Or remind you of a time when you were as desperate for your friends forgiveness as I am?" she paused staring into the steel eyes looking angrily into hers. "Well, guess what, I'm not desperate enough to let you continue to rag on me without saying a word back to you. So just back off and put this anger at the actual cause."

With a smirk, she shook her curly haired head. "You are the cause."

"I doubt that." She replied. "It's not like I put you up for adoption."

"You stupid-"lunging for the back seat angrily.

"Hey. Hey!" Brooke shouted, struggling in the awkward position to pull her back up front and away from the altercation both her friends were engaged in.

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"Hey Mom!" he called out, rubbing the snow out of his hair as he stepped into the café. "Ma, you in the back?"

He pulled out his cell as he maneuvered around the countertop. Hitting the speed dial designated for his girlfriend, he held the phone up to his ear and let out a frustrated sigh as again he got her cheery voice recording without even a ring. Staring down at the phone, he dialed the number this time and tried again. And again, it went straight to voicemail.

"Hey you." He turned quickly, surprised by his mother's voice.

"Jeez, Mom, you scared me." He announced. "Why didn't you answer me?"

"I would have if I heard you." She answered, surprised at his tone. "What's wrong with you?

"Sorry, it's Brooke." He answered.

"You guys having problems?" she questioned, hoping she was incorrect. After all the back and forth and her son had gone through, she was glad to see him in something steady and happy.

"No, it's not that." He responded. "I haven't been able to get a hold of her for a while. I just want to make sure, with the weather that they got there alright."

"Oh honey, I'm sure they're fine." She told him. "From what you told me, the cabin's pretty isolated right? So it's probably hard to get a signal, and this storm can't be helping."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Lucas acknowledged.

"That's the spirit." She smiled. "If I know those girls, they've definitely found a way to have fun until you show up."

Opening his phone to try again, Lucas thought out loud, "They're definitely not bored, I'm sure."

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Brooke finally managed to pull Peyton back into the front; but, honestly, it was definitely more of Peyton returning on her own than it was her efforts. She shouted as the returning blonde accidentally delivered an elbow to her cheek.

"Peyton!" Haley screamed at her, reaching forward.

"Make up my mind, Haley?" she questioned. "You're one to talk." Holding the ring out of her reach, moving again when she tried to reach for it. "Don't worry, I'll help."

"Peyton!" she shouted again, louder, when the blonde opened the door and left. "Peyton!" exiting to follow, leaving behind the brunette, who, looking down and holding her hand to her throbbing cheek, missed the action.

"Guys!" Brooke hollered, not sure what was happening, knowing only what she'd heard. She was about to follow when by some miracle, her phone rang. Looking from the caller I.D. 'Lucas' to her friends, she made the judgment to take advantage of the first signal she'd had since leaving the interstate.

Wind in her face, Haley looked up barely in time to see the girl's arm cut through the air. The weather and distance not allowing her to see where the tiny treasure flew, her heart fell to the pit of her stomach. She couldn't believe what she'd seen. She couldn't believe that she'd just seen someone she thought was a friend (at least at one time) throw her wedding ring into the woods.

"Peyton." Her voice small, lost in the wind as she stood stuck in place. The curly haired girl stood a moment before turning and walking back in her direction, towards the car. She stood, frozen in place. Watching the girl moving towards her, the girl that had just shot her in the heart.

Her body woke when the blonde was a few feet from her. Now Haley had never been a violent person, and God knew she was not overly experienced in fighting, but at the moment she had no control. Screaming, she threw herself at the girl, knocking her to the snow.

"Bitch!" she shouted on top of her. "What'd you do?" smacking her. "What'd you do?!"

Peyton grabbed hold of her attacker's hands, stopping the strikes from hitting her and managed to maneuver her way from under the girl. Then she was sitting on Haley, still holding her wrists to fend off attempts. "Fuck you RockStar!" she growled at her.

"Stop it!" she heard over the wind a moment before Brooke's arms came around her stomach to pull her off. "Stop it! Get off!" she ordered tugging at her friend's body.

Finally getting her off, and this time it was all Brooke's struggle, she turned to face her now standing friend. Haley, in the meantime, grabbed a fistful of snow and returned to the attack. Full force to where Brooke attempted to talk down her target. She jammed the mush into her face and pushed her down again. Hearing the third girl scream as she fell, caught in the cross fire.

Scrambling in the freezing snow, it was now Haley who was being pulled away. Standing in front of her, she spoke forcefully, "Haley stop! Calm down!" Once Peyton was on her feet again, the young woman – witness to her two best friend's battle – stood between them. Arms spread ensuring a safe distance between the two, "That's enough!" shouting over the weather.

"Ok." Looking from one to the other, fighting the shivers, then back again: "What the hell just happened?"

Something she hadn't seen set the two off like a pair of cheesy talk show guests. Both breathing heavy, she looked first to Peyton, who was spitting the taste of the snow from her mouth, and then to Haley, swiping at what seemed to be tears. "Well?"

Neither spoke a word, the impartial party looking back and forth. Moving the wind blown hair from her face she spoke again. "Let's just get back in the car, warm up and figure out what the hell we're going to do next. I'm getting all sorts of crap in my hair."

"Let's get the hell out of here." Peyton finally spoke, moving back to the car; spitting once more on the way.

"Ok, " Brooke spoke quietly, turning to the other girl, who'd watched Peyton walk away without a word. "Come on." Brooke suggested, reaching for her friend's shoulder. But her roommate pulled away as soon as they touched, instantly sparking her friend to ask: "What? Haley, what happened?"

"What happened?" she repeated, putting a hand to her forehead a moment before continuing. "What happened is I told you this was a bad idea." Raisng her voice to her friend, "I told you I shouldn't have come and now-"cutting herself off before she ended up crying instead of speaking.

"Hey," she replied, stepping closer, putting her hand on her back for comfort. "Sweetie, it'll be ok. You'll see. Give her time. You're friends."

"No Brooke." She denied. "You're wrong, we're not and time isn't going to change it. I've screwed it up too much, just like Nathan. I don't know what I was thinking…that I could make it ok. I'm an idiot."

"You're not an –"sentence stopping when the girl, again, broke contact; this time turning to walk the opposite way. "Where are you going?"

"I'll be back." She yelled without facing her, heading the direction she'd seen Peyton throw the ring.

"Haley!" she shouted over the wind. "Are you crazy? It's freezing. Haley!"

Quickly stomping back towards the car and her oldest friend, who sat inside with her hands over the air vents. Pulling on the handle to the passenger door , she angrily went around after finding it locked and entered through the driver's door; slamming it. Already feeling the drastic temperature change.

"Alright, Peyton, what the hell was that about?"

"Nothing."

"My ass!" she replied angrily. "I've never seen Haley like that."

"Perfect Haley, right?"

"God, stop it! Ok?" she said frustrated. "This is not the time or place to do any of this!"

"You're right." She stated simply. "Let's work on getting out of here. Put the car in neutral, I'll push."

"What about Haley?"

"What about her?"

"She took off." Brooke informed her.

"Big surprise."

"This isn't funny, Peyton." She scolded, with a sigh. "Where'd she go?"

"Who cares?"

"Peyton!" the blonde finally facing her after the shout; with a sigh of her own, she went to work putting her friend at ease.

"Look, I don't know. But she's Haley, remember? Tutor Girl. She's many things, but stupid isn't one of them. Ok?"

"Then why would she take off in this?"

"Maybe she needs time alone." Peyton mused falsely, knowing what she was out there searching for, and it wasn't time alone. "She'll be ok, alright? Stop worrying. Let little Haley think over all her dumb decisions and she'll be back when she gets cold enough."

Brooke nodded, eyes staring out the passenger window in the direction her roommate had gone. Feeling wary, she mentally told herself Peyton was right. The girl – despite her teary declaration – wasn't an idiot. She wouldn't do anything to endanger herself. She'd be careful. She probably hadn't gone very far at all, just enough to get some thoughts clear. She'd giver her a few minutes before going after her. God all she wanted was everyone to be like they were.

"Any signal?" Peyton asked, shoving her own useless phone back in her pocket.

"No." she answered. "Had one for about two seconds right when you two took off."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, it was Lucas. Heard 'Hello' then gone."

"Well, if it came through once, it'll come back again." Peyton spoke hopefully.

"I sure hope so."

While the driver's eyes were focused on the phone in her hand, Peyton's glance happened out the windshield, finding a surprise. The first car she'd seen in hours; a black SUV. It was too far down to tell specifics, but she could tell it was a newer one. An actual license plate, it was no rental and looked to be plenty expensive. She had the thought to get out and flag it down, get a ride back towards town, forget this whole mess ever happened. But that thought quickly vanished as her mind registered that it was traveling with blatant disregard towards the bitch Mother Nature was being. She saw it happening; saw the car swerve and sway on the distrustful pavement. In her mind, she pictured the faceless driver turning the wheel left and right in a panic to compensate and regain control. They couldn't. She could tell; she knew. That car would not stop until it finally lost momentum or was stopped by something.

It was strange; how fast it was happening, yet, she had time for all her thoughts. Thoughts like:

What part of the unforgiving car would hit where? They should've really tried pushing it earlier. Maybe they could get out of the car. Wasn't her life supposed to be flashing before her eyes in some quick montage of highlights?

And really, the thought she settled on was: 'Merry Christmas.'

Then suddenly, her eyes were wide and her words clichéd. But what else, really, can you say in this situation other than: "Look out!"

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"Stupid." Haley spoke to herself, trudging through the snow. Staring and squinting until her eyes hurt. "Should've killed her." She continued to mumble, glancing back with intent to make sure she could still see the vague dark blur of the car in the haze of falling sky.

But she couldn't.

The wind blew and her eyes filled with stinging tears, though she wasn't sure how much from that versus the apparent hopelessness of her plight. How was she going to find her ring in this…And did it even matter? That was still in the air. She and Nathan were…what? Estranged. Separated. Talking again. Friends? What any of it meant; where they were going, she had no clue. Nathan couldn't look at her the same; couldn't trust her. And whose fault was it? Her own. It was all her own doing.

Sighing, she planted her feet at the edge of the sloped earth behind the tree line and wrapped her arms around herself. It was freezing; not exactly a secret. If she left now, she'd never find it. But if she froze to death, that wouldn't do much either. Except for end her ridiculous mission to fix things and the torment its failure continued to bring. Sniffling as tears continued down her ice cold face, she thought maybe this was a sign.

Reluctantly, painfully, deciding to leave; get warm, stay alive, she wiped away teardrops and turned around. She knew this was a bad idea. How bad did "Wind Beneath My Wings" sound compared to this? Damn Brooke. She loved the girl to death, but damn her nonetheless. Stomping along the hidden earth, she thought cynically to herself. Merry Christmas.

"Yep." She spoke aloud to herself and the storm. "Merry freaking Chris-"her voice cut off by a gasp. The snow deceiving her, the ground disappearing from beneath her and gravity doing the rest.

…


	5. We Are Nowhere And It's Now

**A/N: So it's been a while...my bad. I left the already written story at my sisters in chicago and she only now finally got around to sending it out to me. So i repeat: My bad. I hope you forgive me and continue reading!**

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_"And like a ten minute dream in the passenger's seat_

_While the world was flying by_

_I haven't been gone very long_

_But it seems like a lifetime"_

_ 'We Are Nowhere And It's Now'_

~Bright Eyes

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The moon was as big and bright as she'd ever seen it. Glowing an incredible white, casting its light perfectly to illuminate the world without the sacred beauty of the night. Standing on the deck, looking up at the shinging orb in the black sky peppered with stars.

She twitched in surprise, a small gasp, feeling arms snake around her stomach. Instantly comfort and safety settle in place of the tiny scare. Even moreso upon hearing the voice that came with the arms.

"Hey Pretty Girl." he spoke, kissing her cheek before leaning to put his chin on her shoulder. "What're you thinking?"

"How beautiful it is." she answered, laying her hands over his.

"The sky?" casting his eyes upward.

"The sky. This night. This trip. Being here with the people that mean the most to me." leaning back against him. "It's perfect."

"And you made it happen." His words making her smile proudly.

"I did, didn't I?"

"Sure did." squeezing his girlfriend, making her giggle.

"I'm pretty awesome." she stated, hearing him chuckle before releasing her.

"Well then my Awesome Girl," leading her by the hand down the deck in the direction of the hot tub. "Let's celebrate all this beauty."

She laughed, following behind, stopping at the steps that led down to it. "Wait, what about the others? What if someone comes out?"

"Brooke Davis, modest?" he teased. "Aren't you the same girl who stripped in the back of my car before we'd even spoken a word to each other? Was that you?"

"As if anyone else could pull that off." she praised herself. Even though she wouldn't take back that she'd done that - why would she if it had been one of the many steps that brought her and Lucas to this exact moment? - she was even more proud of the fact that she wasn't that same person anymore. She wasn't that Brooke. She was a different person. A better person now.

"Don't worry." he smiled, bringing her out of her thoughts and back to the moment in the crisp night air. "Everyone's asleep. Exhausted after enjoying this beautiful thing that you've given them."

"Uh-huh." raising her eyebrow. "And you'd like to enjoy some giving of your own, right?"

"Yes ma'am." dramatically kicking a deck chair out of his way and yanking her towards him. The terry cloth robes all that seperated their skin. She stopped laughing, however, her attention drawn to the chair as it hit the bannister. The way it skidded and collided sounded wrong. Sounded like metal screeching and crunching.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." looking away, trying to shake the strange deja vu like feeling that confused her. "Do you, um, Do you remember your accident last year?"

"Accident?" tilting his head, playing dumb,

"I'm serious." her words making him sigh.

"Yes, Brooke. I remember. Of course I remember. Why?" This wasn't fitting with the mood they'd created. In fact it had basically killed it.

"What'd you see?"

"What?"

"You're supposed to see things, right?" she mused. "Like, the things that are most important in your life...What'd you see?"

She watched him intently, not sure what she was expecting. But his mouth opened and closed, he looked down. She expected something, anything. She just wanted him to answer the question and tell her what or who he saw. He then looked up, turning his head back over his shoulder towards the hot tub. Confused, she followed his gaze to where, before her eyes, the water's steaming surface broke and Peyton emerged from underneath.

Brooke continued to stare at her friend who'd just appeared from below the water. As if she'd always been there...waiting to show her face the entire time.

Gasping suddenly, she immediately began coughing, seeing, with confusion, that she wasn't where she'd been a moment ago.

"Thank God!" the voice close by, then a hand on her face. "Brooke. Are you alright?"

"I think so." gathering herself, looking at the now limp airbags and the settling dust from their release. "What happened?" bringing her hand to her left temple, wincing when her fingers touched the fresh slice standing straight up and down a good few inches. Wiping at the liquid that had leaked down her cheek.

"A car lost control, I guess." Peyton answered as best she could. "Hit us."

"Shit." Brooke whispered, pressing her hand against the wound. "Are you ok?" noticing for the first time both windows were gone leaving only shards in their place as the snow was falling in the car.

"I'm fine." Peyton answered. Sore as hell, but she'd live. She'd had a strange dream about Ellie while she was out but couldn't quite remember the details after coming to and seeing Brooke.

"Haley, you ok?" Brooke asked, letting go of the cut to turn around when no one answered. "Haley?"

Seeing the damage, her mouth slack, the metal of the fram bent into jagged forms of chaos. The back seat behind her half destroyed in the crush. But no Haley. Luckily, as it seemed that if she were there she would have gotten the brunt of it. But if she wasn't there...

"She's not here." she spoke aloud, confused. "Where..." trailing off as she looked at Peyton and quickly remembered what happened before everything went dark.

"Oh my God." Peyton whispered her exact thought as she rememebered at the same time, looking out the windshield, past the tree in the center of her view. She could already feel Brooke's panic and fear radiating from her.

Brooke grabbed the door handle with shaking hands attempting to open it. Jammed from the impact, it didn't give right away. She threw her shoulder and weight against it, trying to force it.

"Brooke," Peyton trying to calm her as she struggeld and grew increasingly panicked as each attempt at opening it failed. "Brooke calm down."

"This stupid..." she muttered panicked, shoving herself against the door, ignoring the blonde's words. "Come on!" her voice breaking as she screamed to the object.

"Brooke, you're gonna hurt yourself." she spoke. Yes, she probably had the same scenario as Brooke playing in her head - Haley still out there somehwere, had been this whole time. Hurt or worse. - and yes, that scared her, but she was trying to think logically.

"Damn it!" Brooke cursed the door. Then she was bracing her hands on the window frame, pulling herself through the hole. Her passenger, upon seeing this, opened her door - all the major damage on the left side of the car - and ran around in time to see her friend fall in the snow.

"Shit." she muttered, pulling Brooke up who instantly fled her, moving quickly the direction - she thought? - she remembered seeing her roommate go.

"Haley!" she shouted, tasting the wind that blew in her open mouth.

"Brooke stop!" Peytong caught Brooke before she, too, disappeared into the woods. "Stop and think for a second!"

"No I won't stop Peyton!" she angrinly declared. "Haley's out there-"

"You don't know that." she interrupted. "You don't. Listen Brooke, just think for a second, ok? We didn't lose control and drive off the road, ok? We were hit, right? And now, there's no one here. No other car." Watching her friend look around for the first time to realize she was right. The other car was no where in sight. Peyton continued: "Haley, she probably came back an-and saw what happened and she went with the driver to bring back help."

"No." Brooke answered immediately. Not even giving a second's thought to the theory the blonde had layed out for her. "You're wrong. She's out here somewhere."

"You don't know that. You're just jumping to the worst scenario because you're scared." she explained to her.

"I do know. I _do_ know!" she stated back stepping closer, almost threateningly towards her friend. "Because I know she - "feeling her voice hitch, she took a breath before continuing. "...she wouldn't leave me. Especially if I might be hurt. She'd stay with me Peyton. Just like I'd stay with her or you and you would for me."

Peyton stared at her a few moments, the wind the only sound passing between them in the icy weather, letting her words sink in. Letting the logic of Brooke Davis bounce around in her head until it made it's way to her heart. As much as she'd disliked the girl since her departure and subsequent return, she couldn't ignore the development between Haley and Brooke. The friendship and love and reliance she saw, she know could see was nothing short of 100% genuine. So much so that - though she hated to admit it - it rivaled the friendship _she_ and Brooke had built and rebuilt over their many years.

She knew it, Brooke spoke the truth.

"Ok. Brooke, if you're right-" she thought out loud.

"I am." she argued again. "Whether you believe me or not, whether you help or not, I'm going to find her."

"Wait!" Peyton grabbed her arm as the brunette attempted to storm off again. "I just meant ...one of us should stay here." she made up a new ending for her worried friend then her original thought. "With the car, in case she comes back or anyone else comes along that can help us."

It was a good point if not her original one she'd come too close to spilling. Brooke terrified didn't need to hear exactly how long it's been. The chances that the mystery driver just took off to save their own ass. Or the slim chances of finding Haley unharmed if at all. These were things that she did not need to hear right now.

"You're right." Brooke spoke. "You stay."

"Actually I think it's better you stay." she stated, beginning to pull her back towards the immobile suv.

"No way!" Brooke shouted, "Whatever you think of her, me and Haley are good friends. I care about her and I have to find her and know she's alright!"

"I know, Brooke." she answered. "That's kind of why I think you-"

"Oh my God!" Brooke interrupted., shivering involountarily, not sure if it was entirely due to the temperature. "You think she's..."

"No!" Peyton almost screamed back at her as she chose to trail off rather than voice it aloud. "No that's not it."

"Yes it is!" she argued tearily. "You think she is and you don't want me to see. That's why."

"No, ok? She's not."

"How do you know? How can you be sure?" her voice suddenly quieter and harder to hear in the wind.

"Because..."_it would mean I killed her._ Peyton finished in her head as they reached the car. "...she's not."

"I'm scared, Peyton." she said in a quivering voice. "I'm really scared."

"I know." pulling her to a hug at the passenger door. "Look, we'll take turns; give us each a chance to warm up. I'll go first. " she stated, pulling her coat out and slipping it over her wet, long sleeves."Um...Try to get war, to, uh, figure out how to block the broken windows. keep checking for a signal and, I don't know, honk the horn every now and then so I can be sure to find my way back."

"It's getting dark." Brooke spoke after nodding.

In response to her statement, Peyton pulled out her phone, opening it to show the brunette the bright light it gave. Nothing spectacular, but it would work.

"Stil get some use without signal, right?" she smiled; a weak, very fake smile.

Brooke nodded again, crossing her arms over her body, looking down then up again. "She has to be ok."

"Yeah." she nodded, running her hand up and down her friend's arm. "She will."

"Be careful."

"Always." she answered, turning and jogging off awkwardly in the fray where they had been before returning to the car.

_-_

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_-_

"Haley!" Peyton began calling as she disappeared into the treeline. "Haley!" continuing on, hearing a series of dull hones after a few minutes telling her Brooke was waiting. Already crazy, no doubt. She felt horrible for the pain her friend was in. For the possible situations Haley was in. All her doing. That stupid thing with her ring.

How could she have thought to do that? It was easily the cruelest thing she'd ever done. Now the girl was missing and if she really was dead - Wow. Even thinking it was a painfully heavy thing. - But if she was in fact ...dead, it would be all her fault. Peyton Sawyer: Murderer.

"Come on Haley." she spoke to herself. "Don't do this."

God, what about Nathan? And Lucas? And Karen? How would she tell them? What would she tell them?Her thoughts increasing speed and fear as she continued calling out the name, moving onward in the quickly darkening world. Saying the name over and over and over. So much so it didn't sound like a real word anymore.

"Hale-" her voice leaving her as her footing was lost.

Fortunately, falling backward, she ended up sitting in the snow. Opening in her phone, she pointed it towards her feet to see the terrain, or lack of. The ground just stoped. Like it just broke off; it happens in the woods. Old earth, incliment weather...stuff happens.

Whatever.

"Shit." she breathed heavily as her heart slowed to normal from the scare her near fall had given her. Silently, she thanked whoever or whatever might've been looking down at her in that moment. "Smooth move Sawyer." speaking as she stood up. "Break your neck, that's sure to ..."trailing off, she looked ahead of her.

Lifting her cell to cast the unusually bright light - she'd gotten quite a few remarks in the movie theatres because of it - to glow downward.

She could be sure from where she was, what exactly she was seeing. But she was seeing something. Carefully placing her feet, she moved from the edge to a safer slope that didn't drop down so abruptly. Another couple of steps, bringing herself to a tree. Bracing her free hand against it for balance. She stretched out as far as she could without falling and cast the light.

Eyes widening as the glow revealed to her exactly what it was she saw.

"Haley!"

-


	6. Living Is A Problem Cuz Everything Dies

**A/N: Sitting at work, an hour to kill, finally typing this up. It's a bit shorter then the rest but it works for me...hope it does for you.**

**-**

**-**

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_"I built a time machine to escape from  
all the pain in the back of my car  
Living's a problem  
'cause everything dies babe,  
save yourself we're not too far away"_

_-'Living is a Problem Because Everything Dies'_

~Biffy Clyro

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_-_

_-_

Her heart froze, having nothing to do with the freezing world under the falling sky. Wanting to be wrong and, at the same time, knowing she wasn't, Peyton willed her mind to thaw.

Refreshing her phone with the press of a button to reignite the dimmed light, it shone again moments after disappearing. She cast it downward again thinking, maybe, she'd see something else; something harmless this time. But no. The glow revealed to her, again, the image of the ...body in the snow.

"Haley!" again, maybe she'd hear her answer and feel the smallest ounce of relief. "Oh God. Oh God." Looking back the way she'd come, her thoughts as rapid as the panicked beats in her chest. Hearing a dull, yet still audible, honk as she'd instructed her friend to do near half an hour ago, Peyton spoke aloud to herself. "Ok. I found...Brooke!" she shouted in the direction as if she could beckon the girl with her voice even though the horn was hardly heard.

But fear didn't allow for rational thoughts. Looking back and forth, between the way she'd come and the way ahead. Honestly, she knew there was no real debate which way to approach. "I've, I've got to...I'm coming!" finally settling her thoughts. "I'm coming. Hold on, Haley."

Caution a small note in her mind, she quickly found her way down, heart speeding with every step further. Bones aching in the angry temperature, she ignored their protest and moved as fast as the situation allowed.

Slipping once near the bottom she ended up tumbling the last foot or so until the ground leveled beneath her. Scrambling, a sort of half-crawl, she brought herself to rest on her knees beside the figure. Instantly wiping the white wetness from the girl. Thankfully, trees offered some shade from the relentless snow; preventing her from being completely covered.

"Haley." she spoke to her. "Come on." running her hands over her forehead and face. "You're ok." working only with shadows and silhouettes, but from lack of response she knew her words were for deaf ears. "Come on, wake up. You're ok. Say something."

She thought for the first time to check if she was even still breathing. Unsure how to do it in the dark frozen woods, with useless eyes and wind blowing every other second. Peyton could only think to lay her hand against her chest, slipping it under the coat for better feel, she felt..."Thank God." she breathed aloud. She felt movement of expanding lungs, felt a bump of a heartbeat.

Scanning the light quickly over her motionless body, looking for any injuries, anything that might be aggravated by tryin to move her. Seeing for the first time how dreadfully pale the skin looked; she hoped she could attribute that to the light. A cut from her right eyebrow to just below the hairline had pasted almost black looking blood contrasting the white of the world and the girl.

Other than that, Peyton didn't see any pools of blood anywhere and decided to take the chance, knowing they had to get out of the snow; she had to get Haley out ASAP.

"Ok." speaking to herself as she thought, attempting to formulate some sort of plan. "Ok. Ok." moving to the fallen girl's head. "Ok. I've got you." slipping her shaking hands under her shoulders.

Getting a good grip, her numb fingers biting her, she took a deep breath and pulled. Attempting to drag her back up the hill from which she'd obviously fallen. Groaning loudly, straining all of her strength to bring the girl with her. Struggling with her footing as she tried to step backwards up the incline, she felt the tears reappear to sting her eyes. Her feet kept sliding underneath her when she tried to plant them, making absolutely no progress.

She didn't know how long she had tried, how many forced words of encouragement to the deaf ears she spoke, before screaming in frustration. Laying her back down before she ended up dropping her, she ran her hands through her wind-blown wet curls. The tears - tears of frustration, guilt, panic, fear - welled more powerfully in her eyes.

"Damn it!" she shouted angrily. "Haley, come on!" she demanded, desperately enraged at the predicament. "I can't...I can't do it myself." Letting herself fall to sit next to her, willing the still girl to wake. "I can't." she whispered to Haley, to no one, wiping her hands down her teary face before the drops could freeze there.

There was a dull sound, a far away sound, that floated through the air and got her attention. "Brooke!" she screamed at the car horn, a sob quickly following. A few short breaths and then again, louder and longer: "Brooke!"

She put her face back in her hands after pointless shouting a few times more. Brooke wouldn't hear. Brooke was in the car. In the car where Peyton told her - practically forced her - to stay. She knew she could go back use the horn to find her way, and grab Brooke and drag her through the darkness to help. But she had almost literally stumbled across Haley on complete accident. And she feared not being able to find her again if she left now as it only continued to get darker.

So she cried.

She let herself cry for a few minutes, hoping she had gotten out most of it, or at least a sizeable portion of all that was waiting to be let out once she was somewhere safe and warm. Then she was wiping her face, telling herself fiercely to pull it together and resolved to try again. Try again and get it done.

Standing up and repositioning herself where she'd been the first time, she snaked her arms, once again, under and around her shoulders; this time up to her elbows for better leverage.

"Ok." she spoke again; standing up straight, lifting her upper body with her. "Here we go, come on." a deep breath of freezing air, Peyton planted her foot just on the slope.

Making sure it was well placed, she pushed off the snow buried foot, moving one single step backward. Letting out her held breath, "Ok. Ok good." taking another breath and repeating the same technique. Groaning and grunting at the strain, she was relieved by the minimal progress that was being made. She couldn't help but be envious, at this moment, of the girls Brooke shamelessly criticized in gym class who had thicker upperarms; the kind that could probably handle this a lot easier then she.

"Almost there." Not true at all, but they _were_ moving. Not quickly but it counted damn it. A third time. Slowly - very slowly - they were moving.

Placing her right foot for take four, Peyton discovered too late that her footing was not secure. The foot slid out from under her in the snow and she fell hard, straight down on her butt. "Damn it!" she hissed, almost missing the small gasp - if it could even be called such - when the girl's head landed on Peyton's thigh.

"Haley?" she asked, a relieved laugh escaping from some chasm in her chest when she heard the small moan in response. Unwrapping her arms from her, Peyton fumbled to pull her phone from her pocket once again, needing so much to see she wasn't imagining things.

The device harder to remove from the wet denim pocket, it took her a few seconds to actually succeed. Once she finally did, she ignited the glow. Shining it on her face, she saw eyes barely open before they squeezed shut against the light.

"Oh thank God!" she had to laugh again, shutting away the light. "Haley."


	7. Rootless Tree

**A/n: It's been forever, believe me I know. For the longest time I couldn't find the notebook this was written in. If I've already used that excuse before it's only because it happens to me all the time. So here it is, and here we go...**

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_"What I want from this_

_Is to learn to let go_

_No not of you_

_Of all that's been told."_

_ - 'Rootless Tree'_

Damien Rice

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"Oh my God." she repeated again.

She couldn't describe how immense relief she felt seeing her eyes. Laying her hands down on the icy face and brushing away some damp hair that stuck to the skin. Peyton then surprised herself - and for all sheknew Haley as well - by leaning down and pressing a kiss on her freezin forehead.

"You're awake." she spoke up close, feeling her tears of relief replace the desperately fearful ones of moments ago. She pulled away, sitting back up before any of the tears could fall onto her. She ran her hands over her face a few more times. "You have no idea how happy I am to see your face."

"P=P-Pey..."her voice stuttered and struggled to form the name.

"Yeah." she sniffled, feeling Haley's now conscious and aware body begin to shiver. "Yeah, it's me."

"C-Co-Col-"

"Cold?" Peyton finished for her, watching her meakly move her shaking arms to hug herself; to attempt to generate some warmth. "I know. I know you're cold, Haley."

Tugging off her own coat, Peyon laid it over the freezing girl. Little good it would do her though; the thing already affected by all the time it'd spent out there. But it was all she could think of.

"There you go." the blonde spoke, rubbing her hands quickly up and down over the material. A few moments of repeating the action, she then looked behind her; back up the way she'd come. With the world getting darker and colder by the breath, they had to get moving. "Do you think you can walk?"

"I don...I don't kn-know."

"Ok." Peyton replied moving carefully from her spot. Now squatting beside Haley she instructed : "Let's try." Slinging Haley's arm across her shoulders and holding tightly to it. "Ok, Haley, I need your help on this. Ready?"

"Mm-hmm." she responded, pressing her numbing hand into the snow and pushing off the ground while Peyton pulled to a sitting position.

The world tipped over and spun around in Haley's eyes. Everything felt too heavy. Her head rolled to lean on her shoulder. She felt the other girl's arm wrap around her back and grip her side while the other held on to her wrist. She knew, too, without it she'd more than likely fall back where she'd been laying.

"Alright, here comes the big one. You ready?" Peyton asked the now seated girl. "Ok. One, two, three." she grunted out the last number, feeling the strain on her back as she tried to stand them both up. Haley cried out almost as soon as the movement began.

"What?" Peyton asked, worried, instantly halting the attempt and crouching back down, keeping the girl sitting. "What is it?"

"Leg." she answered in between quick pained breaths; remembering why she'd been stuck. "My-My knee."

"Ok." Peyton spoke. "Let me see. Stay, uh, stay up, ok? I'm going to take a look."

Taking a moment to ensure Haley was able to remain seated once she released her hold. Peyton once again got her phone. Moving the light down over the limbs to catch sight. "Oh." she voiced aloud before she could think not to. The glow from the device allowed her to see that the joint, even through the jeans, appeared swollen and abnormal. "It...It doesn't look bad."

Glancing up at Hley, who was now leaning back on her elbows. She could see the silhouette of her chest moving dramatically with the heavy, quick breaths; heard beneath the wind a whimper of pain and could picture the tearful face it rose from. She slid the phone away, shutting out the light once more before returning to her previous position at Haley's side.

"We've gotta go." Peyton's voice in the dark. "We have to get out of the snow. We're going to try again now, alright?" she spoke positioning them both as they'd been before. Holding on as tight as she could. "One. Two. Three."

Again she groaned and grunted as she pulled. And again, the moved with an exclamation of pain. Despite the noise, this time Peyton did not stop her actions and managed to somehow raise them both. Hunching down to compensate for the height difference between the two girls, she struggled to support the weight as the icy air moved in and out her lungs.

Haley was by no means a big girl, but in the same aspect, Peyton, herself, was hardly known for her upper body strength or adept to carrying the limp weight of a grown human being. What she'd give to have Luke or Nathan at that moment...or at every moment so far.

"Peyton." the word sounded forced from the shaking body she held. "I don't, I don't think I can."

"No. No, you can." she argued. "I know it hurts. Listen, I know you're hurting and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but you have to do this."

Keeping her voice strong to assure her, Peyton was waiting for that survival instinct or adrenaline surge to kick in. The miracle of strength or will needed to overcome odds and make it through. She'd read news stories about ordinary people who were able to rise above themselves and their mental or physical limits to save themselves or people they loved. She wished for that moment for the both of them. She knew she couldn't come to imagine what Haley was feeling. But she would gladly trade away her weighing guilt and take on every bit of physical pain she was in.

"I.." Haley began to speak again before the blonde cut her off.

"Wait." she spoke, her ears perking as the wind died down and silenced. "Haley listen. You hear that?"

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Brooke was in hysterics. Every breath, every beat of her heart was one hundred percent fear and panic. She didn't know if the clock on the dash had the right time or not. But it didn't matter abou t the specific time it showed, a minute passed was a minute passed regardless.

And according to the digital numbers it had been fifteen minutes since she'd discovered the heat still worked. Seventeen since she dried off the last of the melted snow from her person with one of the many scattered pieces of clothing. Twenty-three since she'd successfully plugged all broken windows with now empty suitcases and bags...and a horrifying thirty-six since Peyton took off into the trees.

But it had only been a few seconds since she last honked the horn, yet already she was pressing it again. Brooke squinted at the windshield, desperate for any sign of her friends. This wasn't supposed to be happening. This trip was supposed to be about getting back; about letting go of all the mess and enjoying and rebuilding relationships. Not this...nightmare.

She continued to check her phone in between sobbing and honking the horn. Still no signal. Lucas had undoubtedly been trying to get ahold of her. Not being able to reach her, he'd then try calling Haley and Peyton. Remembering the strange dream she'd had, Brooke couldn't help but shudder at the thought of him calling Peyton.

Maybe he'd panic when he couldn't get ahold of any of them and call 911. . . maybe he already had. But then again, maybe he'd chalk it up to the storm or the isolated area of the cabin. Maybe nobody would notice they were missing until whenever it was the guys were able to get to the cabin themselves. Who knew how long that could be?

She honked again, this tim holding it down and letting it mask her scream. That went on for a few seconds before she finally let go of the horn and instead slammed her hands repeatedly on the steering wheel. She then threw the useless phone to the floor with a sob and put her hands over her face. Crying into them and wincing when she'd accidentally grazed the cut on her face.

Quickly she returned to the horn.

"Come on!"

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"Hear that?" she asked again. "That's Brooke."

"Brooke." she repeated, straining to focus.

"Yeah, she's waiting for us and she's worried sick. So let's get to her, ok?"

"Nathan."

"Yeah." Peyton said again; adjusting her hold, her muscles feeling the girl beginning to get heavier, likely on the verge of slipping under again. She strengthened her voice and tightened her grip. "Yes. Yes, we'll get to Brooke and then we'll take you to Nathan. But you have to help me. Now, come on. Here we go. Step."

Haley tried to do as she instructed, scooting her right foot a few inches in the snow. Barely a movement, but everything in her body thought it was already too much. She swallowed down the sobs that rose in her throat and tried to focus on breathing; hardly registering Peyton's words of praise for the small action.

Then upon instruction to step again, she held her breath, trying to brace against the pain that was sure to heighten by moving her left leg. She made the attempt; trying for the same pathetic pace as her last. Worse than she could've anticipated, the pain erupted. Exploding in her body, fogging her mind and tilting the world. Nausea. Vertigo. Disorientation.

"Still with me over there?" Peyton asked with a groan, trying her best to ignore the sounds Haley made when she tried to move the injured limb. She felt her getting still heavier, as she mumbled some response in a thick voice Peyton couldn't quite decipher.

"Hey, come on." she stated, the struggle growing as it became harder and harder to hold on to her. "Come on, sweetie. Stay awake. Stay - " Peyton cut off her own words, replacing them instead with a harsh order. "Haley, stop it!"

The fierce words coming out right before the shorter girl felt limp as a stone resulting in the both of them falling forward back to the ground. Peyton slammed her palm into the powder after getting up to her knees.

"Damn it!" she shouted angrily. Carefully, rolling Haley onto her back. "Are you ok? Well, I know you're...I mean...Are you ok? Is anything worse?"

"I'm sorry." Haley answered in a quiet voice.

"Don't be. It's alright." she dismissed. "It's ok. We'll get it this time."

"About the tour..." she continued to apologize. "...leaving."

"Don't worry about that." Peyton instantly shaking her head at the words. Fearing she was trying to make some sort of final apology or confession; the blonde refused to allow it. "Once you're warmed up and feeling better you can say whatever you want."

Peyton was cold and sore and aching all over but she did her best to ignore all of it. She had to get Haley out of this. She had to make this ok. If she didn't...if she couldn't...then what?

"Come on." she urged; but found she was without her cooperation and was unable to lift her again. "We've gotta....We're almost there!"

Another long horn reached her ears and she knew Brooke was going completely out of her mind. Sitting in the snow again, she manuevered her position to pull and hold most of Haley's upperbody in her lap. Holding her close, Peyton felt the new batch of tears start up and spoke to the girl.

"Come on, Haley." she pleaded quietly, unsure if the girl could even hear her words; if she was even awake or with her anymore. "You gotta get out of here. You have to be ok. For Brooke and Lucas...and for Nathan. I mean, you didn't see how bad it got for him without you. It was...You can't do that to him again. And what about Karen, huh? And your can't - " she sniffled and whiped at her numbing nose, her words almost a whisper. "You can't leave again. You just came back, you can't leave again."

Saying and meaning every single word, whether or not they were being heard, Peyton held on for a few silent moments. At the next honk, she tilted her head back and looked up the hill for the millionth time and spoke once more.

"Ok. I'm, um, I'm going to get Brooke and we'll be back for you. I promise." squeezing her tightly once more whispering to her as she did so. "Don't go anywhere."

Feeling every bit of the whispered words, Peyton pulled herself carefully out from under her and then quickly began an awkward ascent up the slope. She scrambled and climbed as fast as she could without a single look back. If she looked back, she knew she'd end up running right back down there. She'd sit with the fallen girl until they both froze to death.

So she didn't look back.

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	8. A Dark Congregation

**a/n: Awesome! Another update in a rather decent amount of time. I call that a victory! Alrighty, this one ended up being pretty long but I couldn't find a place in it that I felt ok using as a cut off point. So it's all together as it was written.**

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_"__Our breath rose in the cold like a hundred souls escaping  
Save me, I am swallowed by the guilt of this  
You're gone, sleeping in the dust  
We will not let time erase us"_

_'A Dark Congregation'_

-The Hush Sound

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Brooke had finally become tired of sitting and doing nothing; making the decision to get out of the car and do something. Standing in the beam of the headlights, she called out both her friend's names. It had been far too long. Wrapping her coat tighter around her torso, she started towards the tree line.

Calling out, alternating between the two names, as she spoke. The brunette suddenly let out a scream, Peyton appeared from the dark and almost crashed into her. Looking at her unkempt friend who sent her heart racing in shock, Brooke fearfully connected with the girl's wild eyes.

"Peyton!" she'd shouted, putting her hands on her shoulders. "Oh my God! Did-"

"I found Haley!" she interrupted and began rambling, her words falling out quickly and difficult to seperate and follow. "I found her Brooke. I-I found her and, there was a hill, and I tried but I need help. I tried, she tried to but - and I left her and we need to go!"

"Wait." Brooke was having trouble deciphering her friend's rant. "Slow down. Is she ok?"

"No. I don't know." Peyton answered. "She fell, I think, and she was awake and then she wasn't."

"Let's go!" Brooke replied. "Let's go, take me."

Peyton turned to lead the way back. Preparing to return the path she'd taken but found herself stopping quickly after only a few steps. Turning to face the girl who was directly following behind her. Brooke had to take a step back to keep from running into the blonde.

"Wait." she stated when she turned.

Brooke was confused by the sudden action and opened her mouth to speak out but Peyton began first. Her thoughts had calmed to a point that her sentences were more intelligable than her last attempt.

"There's a, uh, a hill or slope or something and it's covered in snow and it's slippery to bring her up. I couldn't keep my-my footing. We need to - "

"I've got an idea." Brooke interrupted quickly, her thought springing into her head as soon as Peyton's message came across.

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Running a hand through his dark hair, the young man paced back and forth across the room. The familiar voice came over the phone, unfortunately only sayin the same recorded words he'd been hearing each time he tried.

_"Hi, you've reached Haley-"_

He ended the connection before the message could finish playing out again in his ear. Looking at his phone a second, his thumb pressed the sequence on the keypad to make the call again. returnin the phone to his ear he was instantly greeted:

_"Hi, you've - "_

He closed the phone right away with a huff, hearing the start of the same message again. Nathan took a deep breath to remain calm before attempting a different contact. A new voice filtered through the speaker but the disappointment was the same.

"_Hey, it's Peyt -"_

"Damn it!" he hissed, disconnecting.

He scrolled back up the alphabetized list in his phone for another attempt. Although he knew if he couldn't get ahold of Haley or Peyton it seemed a stretch that he'd be able to get through to his wife's roommate. But, nevertheless, he had to try.

_"Hey there, you've -"_

It was all he could do to keep from launching the cell phone across the room. He'd been trying to reach Haley since he'd found out about the road closures. He'd yet to ge tthrough to any of the girls. The more time passed without anything, the more he heard the same voicemail messages, the colder the feeling in his gut became.

He did his best to think of rational safe reasons for it. The storm. The woods. Dead batteries.

Yeah. Three phones going dead at the same time. That was plausible.

Nathan looked around the room trying to find something to take his mind off the worry that continued to stew. His bedroom in the big house that didn't feel like home anymore. He'd admit to himself that he did have hopes for this trip. Not just for getting away and having some fun. He was, somewhat nervously, looking forward to spending some time with Haley. Some time away from everything; away from all their past and just spend some time in the present together.

Opening the closet door, he found his distraction in the form of the wrapped gift. Pulling it out, he laid it out on the bed and knelt next to the furniture. He ran his hand over the red wraping, careful not to bunch or tear it. Nathan had been going back and forth whether he wanted to bring it with him or not.

It wasn't a small gift he could sneak into the cabin without a good chance of it being noticed. He wouldn't be able to give it to her privately. He thought, maybe, he could leave it in the car after they got there and bring her out there to it when the time was right.

Then again, he also figured waiting until after they got back; when it was actually Christmas Day and bringing it to her place. Either way, Nathan couldn't wait for her to open it; to see her face when she did. Even though they weren't exactly together, he couldn't help himself. Couldn't stop from buying it and being more meticulous in wrapping it than he'd ever been in his life. The entire time imagining her reaction and picturing her smile.

He heard a whistle behind him and jumped to his feet in surprise. Instantly regretting not closing his door and becoming perhaps too distracted by it, he stood to see his father in his doorway for the second time that night. Standing in front of the bed, hiding as much as he could of the gift, he didn't want to deal with his dad putting in his two cents about it.

"What do you got there?" Dan asked, entering his youngest son's room

"None of your business." he responded on reflex.

"Really?" he asked sarcastically. "Well, you're money comes from me. So what you buy, I buy."

Dan stepped closer, his son's silence proving to him that Nathan really didn't want any sort of discussion about it. Perhaps he was remaining quiet simply to let him get it out, done and over with.

"It's big." the man observed, looking around him to glance at it. "Expensive?"

Nathan sighed, "Dad, leave it alone please."

It was the only attempt he made to end it, really just not having the energy to fight with his father again. Nathan stood still while his father leaned forward and reached past him, turning the tag on the gift and reading Nathan's words out loud.

"_Haley, Dream Always. Nathan_." Dan spoke the written words in a mocking tone before pulling away to speak to his son's face. "And here I thought it'd be for your mother." he said cynically, putting his hands in his pockets. "So, what did I buy the little rock star?"

Nathan ignored the question. Instead of answering, lifting the gift and returning it to the closet.

"Is this how you move on?" his dad asked while he closed the door. "Going away to secluded cabins and buying grand gifts? Because it looks to me that you're just letting yourself get sucked right back in. You have to be focusing on yourself right now, Nathan, not indulging in a poorly chosen crush."

Nathan scoffed. "Crush, Dad?" he shook his head. "This isn't a crush, it's my marriage."

"Right." he replied with a nod and turned to leave the room, calling over his shoulder before he disappeared. "Merry Christmas."

Nathan went after him and closed the door angrily. Shutting his father out. He opened his phone again, this time hearing a ring come through. After a few more rings he heard the voice click in.

"Hello."

"Lucas," he greeted. "hey man, it's me. LIsten, I've been trying to get in touch with the girls. Have you heard from them since they left?"

"Not recently." his brother answered. "I got through a little bit ago for a second but it was disconnected. The storm must really be jacking with the signal, plus the woods, you know?"

"Yeah." Nathan responded, more to acknowledge he'd been listening than to actually agree. "I don't know, man. I got a bad feeling."

"I know, Nate." he said with a sigh, making Nathan wonder if he felt it too. "I"m sure they're fine. They'll get in touch as soon as they can."

"I'd just feel better if I heard it from Haley."

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"Almost."

Brooke announced to no one in particular as she panted and looked behind them. Her hands ached, holding the material tight as she could as did the blonde at her side.

"I can't believe you thought of this." Peyton grunted as they took another step back and pulled. "I can't believe it's working. You're like, " she groaned again as they repeated the action. "a Charlie's Angel or something."

Brooke's idea turned out to be working better than any of Peyton's previous attempts. Somehow her friend managed to come up with the thought to tear her terrycloth bathrobe into strips. Snipping it first with her manicure scissors, they quickly ripped three long pieces from it. Peyton surprised herself by how quickly she was able to get back. Without pause, she sped carefully down the slope, sliding a deal of the way, determined to get to Haley before Brooke. To make sure their fear hadn't come to pass during her absence.

Not dwelling long after finding not much had changed, not giving Brooke a chance to dwell, Peyton set her frozen fingers in motion. One wrapped and tied around her ribcage, the other two knotted to the first on either side. Now the two girls each held one and pulled as they stepped carefully up the way. Leaning back as they pulled to ensure all their weight was in the action.

Not ideal. Not graceful. Not easy.

But as the blonde said, it was working.

"Please." Brooke responded to the comment in between holding her breath for each strain. "I'm a little more fashionable than that." she replied, going on. "I'm so Alias." the brunette chatted breathlessly after another step. "But Farrah had great hair."

"Yeah she did." Peyton agreed, trying to continue to keep the mood as light as possible. "I can't believe you actually cut up your PINK robe."

"Victoria's Secret." she exhaled. "The things I do for this girl." Brooke followed.

Pausing her words a moment she gazed downward. She couldn't see details or anything specific. All she could make out was the snow moving or bunching as they pulled the straps and the girl on the end.

The two of them finally reached flat earth. Bracing themselves being much easier now, they stepped back, holding on with raw hands. Haley's form only a few feet away.

"Do you think this is ok?" Brooke asked ehr friend. "I mean," pausing to pull again. " do you think we're making something worse? If there's something internal-"

"Don't." she interrupted. "You can't think like that. No matter what happens, you're saving her life by doing this."

It was a few seconds more before the two of them had finaly, successfully, managed to have all three of them on the same section of stable ground. Brooke immediately dropped down to the ground beside her; blindly undoing the makeshift harness in case any damaged was caused or exacerbated by the technique.

"Ok, Brooke." Peyton spoke as her best friend continued to tend to her; brushing out clumps of snow that gathered during the action. "Brooke!" she spoke more forcefully. "We have to get out of the snow!"

Positioning themselves for the trip back, Brooke took hold of her shoulders while Peyton did the same at her legs. Manuevering carefully back to the car, Peyton was secretly glad that Haley hadn't come around yet. Unable to forget the pain the girl experienced in trying to move her leg the slightest bit, she had no doubt that the way she was being carried and jostled as they moved on their way would be causing immense hurt if she were awake to feel it.

She thought of her own words to Brooke. There was a chance their actions might end up making things worse then they had been. But if it saved her life it was worth it. Her next thought came from noticing the way Brooke kept returning to look down at her roommate. As they entered into the beams of the headlights, Peyton spoke up.

"Brooke," she began. "about the way I've been acting..."

"Can we do this some time when we're not carrying my freezing friend out of the woods." Brooke spoke coldly to her. Leaving the treeline, the illumination revealing for the first time to Brooke her appearance."Maybe you can save your guilt driven apology for then."

Her best friend's sudden harshness took her by surprise. She couldn't blame her though. It was true, Peyton was becoming steadily more consumed by guilt. But not for the reasons Brooke thought. She wasn't feelin it fo the way she'd been treating Haley. Well, not solely for it anyway.

Eventually Brooke would know what happened. Either she would tell her, herself, or she'd hear it from Haley. When that happened, Peyton was sure she'd lose her friendship for the second time in recent memory. But right now, there was only one focus and it wasn't on her.

Reaching the vehicle, the blonde carefully released her hold on her legs to lift open the trunk entry.

"Ok." Brooke spoke, while the other girl repositioned herself to lift Haley into the car. "Careful."

Once she was intially laid on the bed of it, Brooke instructed Peyton to climb in and adjust her from within the vehicle. The blonde carefully did as she was told. The heat was an instant relief to her body. The temperature felt like slipping into a warm bath.

Brooke closed the door after they were clear of it and entered through the back dor. The brunette reached into the from, stretching across the driver's seat to shut off the lights. Saving all the battery power for the heat.

"I'm gonna find some clothes." Brooke announced, surprising Peyton by her clear thinking in the situation. "We have to get her into something dry."

Peyton sat back in the flat of the trunk next to the girl. Reaching her long arm up to click on the small overhead light specifically for the trunk space. Able to see for the first time - really see, not just a glow from her cell - her appearance. The open cut on her forehead didn't seem to be actively bleeding anymore. The blood that had come from it stuck to her skin and hair was moist in places where snow had melted into it.

Her skin wasn't so pale as she'd expected, but more of an ashen gray color except for the bit of blue in her lips. It was a shocking sight, Peyton swallowed hard to compose herself, feeling nauseous.

"Hey." she whispered to her, looking over her shoulder at Brooke who was searching through the scattered clothes still. Hesitantly, she took her limp hand in her own. "Haley, can you hear me? I, um, I told you I'd come back, didn't I? That it'd be ok. We got you out; can you feel it?" she asked, running her hands over the one she held for warmth. "Feel that?"

A few seconds of pause,Peyton took another glance at Brooke who now had a sweatshirt draped over her shoulder, trying to find pants. Making sure the brunette was occupied, Peyton continued the one sided conversation.

"I have something. " she whispered, reaching in her pocket; a bit of a struggle due to the wet constricted denim. Finally managing to pull it out. "See that?" she asked, putting the ring against her palm and closing the cold fingers around it. Holding it closed with both hands, Peyton's eyes stung, she felt her voice break even in her whisper. "I'm sorry."

"Damn it!" she heard Brooke curse loudly, causing her to jump in surprise.

Her sudden jerk made her drop her hold on Haley's hand and Peyton heard the small band hit the floor.

"Haley always sleeps in those stupid sweatpants."Brooke went on, thinking out loud. "They have to be here somewhere."

Peyton searched quickly for the ring, her heart pounding until she came across it. Breathing a breath of relief as she held it; she had a second moment of surprise, though without as physical a reaction to it. A small moan from her side.

For some reason, she had absolutely no clue why, her hand reflexively shoved the metal circle back into her pocket before turning to the girl.

"Haley?" she asked, hoping the girl was in fact coming around and not just making the sound in her sleep. "Haley, do you hear me?"

Peyton looked at her anxiously and said her name again. She watched haley's lips part in response and - the tint of blue in them - they moved a bit, as if attempting but no sound followed.

"Hey." she said softly to her. "Hey, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?"

A few moments and she saw her chest rise slowly once; falling when she exhaled to speak.

"Peyton." she spoke slowly in an airy thin voice, her eyes forced apart as much as possible.

"Hi again."the blonde replied, this being the second time she'd seen her wake up. She grabbed her hand again and smiled down at her, feeling the drops slip out of her eyes. "You're ok, now. It's ok. We got you; me and Brooke."

The girl's chest began to shudder with quick uneven breaths and Peyton saw her eyes open a little more and wander speedily around.

"Brooke?" she spoke shakily, tears slipping from the corners of her eyes.

"Yeah. Yeah." Peyton answered reassuringly, then turned to where her best friend was. She called out quickly upon seeing Haley's reaction. "Brooke!"

Brooke responded immediately, something about the way she said her name. Climbing over the back bench seat.

"What happen-Haley!" she interrupted herself

Peyton scooted away from her spot, making room for Brooke to take her place beside her friend.

"Brooke." the teary girl said her name again.

The brunette felt her own tears start up as she heard her voice and instantly gripped her cold hand tightly in her own. Not missing the feeble way the cold hand attempted to return the hold.

"Oh Haley." she spoke emotionally; holding their clasped hands against her chest, laying her free one against her cheek. "You scared me..." taking a shaking breath. " _so_ bad."

Taking another breath, she tightened her lips to keep a sob from escaping before speaking again.

"I was worried I was gonna have to pay full rent." Letting out a half sob, half laugh seeing her roommate twitch the smallest of smiles the remark.

Peyton, feeling especially awkward as if invading a personal moment between the friends. Pulling herself away as much as possible, physically and mentally, she didn't want to be there. Sitting as far off as she could, trying not to listen to the two of them. Trying not to feel jealous of the strong bond she was witnessing first hand between her best friend and someone else.

Most of all trying to ignore the burning reminder of her actions stuffed away in her pocket.

As soon as the truth came out she was going to lose everything.

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	9. Running Up That Hill

**A/N: Update o'clock! I'm feeling pretty goofy today... been a strange week so far. Classes start in 3 days, so then i'll be doing that, but my schedule isn't packed this semester so i should be able to keep up decently with this. Another fairly long one...Enjoy!**

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_"It doesn't hurt me_

_You wanna know how it feels?_

_You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?_

_You wanna hear about the deal I'm making"_

_'Running Up That Hill'_

-Placebo

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In the room, the tree lit with colorful lights stood cheerfully in the corner across from her. With the other lights off, the tree glowed beautifully in the darkness, but right now it's shine was dulled and shadowed by the main light of the room. Karen sat with her eyes fixed on the open book in her hands and the printed words of the story.

Looking up from the page to reach for her coffee mug, she caught a glimpse of her only child entering the kitchen.

"Lucas." she called out for his attention.

The teenager stopped his actions and moved towards her instead. He seemed a bit surprised and let it known when he spoke.

"Hey, Ma." he greeted. "Didn't know you were still up."

"I was going to say the same to you." she replied, moving her blanket and patting the couch cushion next to her. Asking as he sat down. "Everything, ok?"

"Yeah." he replied. "Just couldn't sleep."

"Can't shut your mind off?" she mused with a nod, then continued. "Same here."

He nodded his head once, answering her question, then found himself doing the same action that had become habit over the course of the day; opening and closing his phone. No idea how many times he done it by now, each time hoping that time would be the one he was waiting for.

"Still haven't heard from Brooke?" his mother asked, putting two and two together.

"No." he sighed, putting his phone in his pocket. "I guess I just don't want to go to sleep until I do."

"Oh." she spoke in a light voice, laying her palm against his cheek a moment. "My son, the romantic."

He let out a chuckle, stealing for himself some of the blanket she was using. Scooting a little closer as he did so, feeling the warmth of it.

"That's me. Hearts and flowers." he replied, keeping his voice light and easy.

Lucas didn't want to admit to even himself that it wasn't romantic notions keeping him up until he could hear from her. It was dread. Truth was he was worried sick with possibilities. He didn't tell his brother, but he had the same cold feeling in his gut that something was wrong. He'd been feeling it since the very, very short call he'd been able to get with her before they were cut off. But after the conversation with Nathan, it had only escalated.

"So," he began, desperately needing something new to think about. "what's keeping you up? Keeping your mind so loud?"

"Well it's not romance, if that's what you're thinking."

"Really?" he asked sarcastically, gesturing to the cover of the book she read. His mother playfully smacking him with it for teasing her.

"It's not as trashy as it looks."

"Of course."

The small family laughed a bit at the fun before it quieted down. The petite woman, kept the smile on her enjoying the lingering moment, then Karen closed her book and informed her son of the reason for _her_ late night.

"I got a call a few days ago, " she began and sighed before finishing. "...from Lydia."

"Lydia?" Lucas repeated in question, thinking a second. "As in James? Haley's mom?"

"The one and only," she nodded.

"That's cool." he relied, then wondered why a phone call from his best friend's mother would be keeping his up. "Wait, is everything ok? Did something happen?"

"No, God, no. It wasn't like that." Karen quickly answered after unintentionally giving him the tiny scare. "It was actually for a good reason. She said that she and Jimmy were going to be in town for Christmas. They wanted to know if Haley had any plans so they could surprise her." she grinned at the final part. "Swore me to secrecy."

"That's awesome." he replied with a smile. The James parents were cool. Even when they embarrassed their kids with their own "kid-like" behavior. He'd always enjoyed when he had the opportunity to be around them. "Haley'll love that! But I'm still not getting the part that's keeping you up. Unless you're really _that_ tempted to tell her."

"It's not that."

"What is it then?" he asked, "This is happy news, right? I mean, I'm sure she'll still be a part of our Christmas. Just a smaller part."

"Well," she started again, pushing the blanket down to her lap. "I got a call at the cafe today," she paused again. "...from Lydia."

Without saying anything else, she saw her son figure out the rest on his own. His face fell a bit and he spoke his findings out loud.

"They're not coming." he mused, shaking his head. "Are they."

Karen shook her own head, giving him his answer even though he didn't need her confirmation. Her son scoffed and looked away to stare at the tree. The tree the two fo them...and Haley...and Brooke had put together. Though his best friend had been there for the decorating every year since they'd met and never needed the invite, it always came anyway. Karen encouraged him Lucas this year invite the two girls, who, for all intents and purposes, had no family of their own.

It was, obviously, not something new. Haley felt as much hers as Lucas did. It'd been that way for so many years; to the point Karen would find herself surprised when the girl wasn't there. She'd always cooked enough with the unspoken undertanding that she'd be there for dinner.

Until recently of course. Until she found Nathan; the two of them stealing away to get married.

"Did they even have a reason?" Lucas asked bitterly. "What's the excuse?"

"She didn't say." Karen told him. "Truth is I didn't care to ask. But she asked me if I'd told Haley. When I said I hadn't, she said, 'Good. She can't be disappointed if she wasn't looking forward to it.' I got a little short with her before the call ended." she finished with a dry chuckle.

"Good." he answered.

The young man found himself needing to amend his earlier thoughts of the James couple. He had to edit them all to add_ 'When they were around.'_ The James parents were cool...when they were around. He enjoyed hanging around them...when they were around. Which wasn't much even when they were all younger; when their children were younger and had become steadily less as time went on.

"Someone has to be." he all but growled. "They think she won't be upset because she doesn't know they're cancelling on her. That's ridiculous." Lucas stood up, gesturing as he spoke. "They don't think that the fact they're never around is enough to upset her?" he ran a hand through his sandy hair. "What kind of people - What kind of parents do that?"

"Lucas-"

"You know the best thing they've done for her is giving consent for the marriage." he continued. "Maybe that was just so they wouldn't have to spare the thought while they're God knows where that they have a kid at home to take care of."

"Lucas." his mother began again, her son's anger surprising her. She knew he'd be upset but she didn't expect this kind of reaction. "Sit down honey."

"Sorry, Mom." he apologized, moving back to his seat. "That's not fair, I know. It's just, It's just with the way things have been, with everything's that happened...I just think she could really use her family."

"And she'll have it." Karen put her arm around him. "She does have it." sighing, leaning on her tall son's shoulder. "It'll be great. And I'm not discriminating against girlfriends. Brooke is more than welcome to join us."

At the sound of his girlfriend's name, he looked down. His mother must have felt the change in him, she picked up her head and looked at him. Before she could ask him what was wrong, he was already speaking.

"Mom," he started pulling out his phone once again. Then turning so their eyes could meet. "I'm really worried."

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Brooke opened her hand reaching out to accept the bundle of clothing she'd collected and left behind when she'd rushed over the seat. Now Peyton and she had switched places, her friend handing over the fabrics.

"Here we go." Brooke spoke to her still shivering roommate. "Got some nice dry clothes for you, TutorGirl, ok?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, um," Brooke began, 'Let's do this roomie."

Helping her friend into a seated position. Groaning quietly as she did so, she felt the shaking of the girls muscles beneath the soaked clothes she currently wore. She leaned her back gently against the backside of the seat. Haley let out a small whimper as she did all she could to help Brooke.

"Sorry, Sorry." the brunette apologized softly.

First she carefully pulled her out of the drenched coat. Being as gentle as she could in manuevering her out of it; guiding the seemingly limp limbs from the sleeves.

"Ok, now the shirt."

Peeling off the cloth that stuck to her pale skin. Taking the action to pull it over her head, Brooke paused before actually doing so, something catching her eye; her breath caught in her throat. She returned to the action of taking off her friend's shirt, doing so slightly quicker than she had been before. Once it was gone, Brooke found herself inspecting the exposed skin. Eyes immediately finding what they'd glimpsed briefly; an angry looking redness across the skin.

Brooke bit her lip, lookin on as the girl's chest moved unsteadily under the mar. Taking a tender hold of her friend's arm, she lifted it to examine if her theory was correct. Unfortunately, she found it to be painfully true. The skin looked to be rubbed raw where Brooke's brilliant idea had been.

"W-What?" Haley asked at Brooke's actions as her brunette girl moved to lift up her other arm as she had the previous one and look at something.

"Nothing." she managed to answer quickly. Bringing her fingertips to graze the affected skin. Then looking up to Haley's eyes. "Nothing sweetie, I...Does it hurt?"

"I don't..." she began responding. Pausing to take a few quick breaths. "...f-feel much. Just cold."

"Well then, I can take care of that." she replied, putting a smile back on her face.

Brooke thought to herself that being numb to the pain was a mixed blessing. It was for sure a bad thing that she was that cold, but the fact that she wasn't feeling how bad anything hurt, at least for the moment, was something Brooke wouldn't complain about.

Before doing anything else, Brooke glanced to Peyton a moment, who had been sitting without a word. Sliding a group of dark hairs behind her ear, Brooke winced quietly as her fingers accidentally touched her own minor injury.

"Ok, TutorGirl." attempting a light voice; attempting to lighten the awkward situation they found themselves in. "It's time to embrace your inner slut and and lose your bra in the back of a car."

"Brooke."

"Yeah?" she answered, to which the girl showed another frail smile.

"Inner Brooke." she elaborated.

Letting out a small chuckle at the comment, Brooke glanced over at the blonde who gave her a smile at the joke.

"Meow." she replied, looking back to Haley. "Kitty's got claws, huh?"

Peyton listend to the exchange from her safe distance. Brooke doing her best to keep the strange situation light and Haley's short responses. She tried to imagine how she'd be handling it if it were a different situation; if the characters were the same but the roles were switched around. Maybe if Brooke were the one needing the help.

If, for some reason, it was her of the three of them they were worried about. However Peyton figured, with the way she'd been acting, in the scenario she'd be able to find a way to be mad at Haley for it. A way to blame her even though the girl would most certainly be heartbroken by it. Sure, Peyton would love to believe that that wouldn't be the case; that she'd be able to realize their were more important things happening, but who knew. The way she'd been, it certainly wouldn't surprise her.

Or there was the other scenario in her brain; the one in which, for some reason, Brooke wasn't with them and it was just her and Haley stuck there. If it were so, and everything went along as it had, how long would she have kept trying unsuccessfully to get her before an idea like Brooke's came to her? If it ever would.

What would she say to everyone when she eventually returned alone?

She had that question because, despite her best attempt at optimism and believing in the best parts of everything, she had the horrid knowledge saying, in that scenario, she would be returning home alone. If at all.

Shaking her head, forcing away the awful thoughts in there, she brought herself back to the present reality. The car. The snow. And Brooke's voice.

Currently working the thick sweatshirt onto the bare torso of her friend, Brooke continuted trying to make the potentially uncomfortable situation seem as carefree as possible.

"Nice hoodie, TutorGirl." she remarked. "Inner Brooke of yours wasn't exactly dressin gto impress was she? Guess you were really banking on all that Christmas miracle stuff, huh?"

"You know me." she answered, little stutter in her words as she spoke quietly. Maybe the heat was working. Or maybe her body was just shutting down... Her slow spaced words continued. "Cheesy, my middle name."

"Yeah." Brooke said with a laugh. "Too bad for you that I know, as sure as I'm Brooke Penelope, you're Haley..."

She paused as she grabbed the sweatpants. Her voice trailing off as she realized she had no idea.

"Hey." she spoke. "What the hell is your middle name? Should I know this?"

Peyton actually felt herself laugh a bit at Brooke's epiphany and the only half pretend offense she took in it.

"Brooke Penelope," she touched her index finger to her own chest, "Peyton Elizabeth," she pointed to the blonde as she recalled mentally and listed. "Nathan Royal, Bevin Evan, Lucas...Oh my God, I don't know yours or Lucas'! How is that possible? Is it like some best friend secret you made together?" she asked as she began the action of removing the wet denim from her roommate.

Keeping the focus on the conversation rather than dwelling on the unusual actions they had to take.

"I know you know, you guys know a creepy lot about each other. Are they like so embarrassing you guys swore never to tell?" she asked, "Is that how you met? Are they like Agnus and Milton, or something?" she spoke as she fought the against the jeans; made tight by the damp material.

"No." she answered with an airy light laugh.

"Well you have to give me something, here." Brooke replied, "It's not right that I don't know this about my boyfriend and my roommate."

"Can't." she smiled, leaning heavily against the back. "Sorry, Penelope."

"So not fair!" she laughed forcing the pants further down. "Just give me one, you have to tell me both!"

"Sorry, I prom-" Haley's sentence interrupted by an involountary cry of pain, causing Brooke to freeze in place and Peyton to turn her full attention to the scene.

"What?" the brunette asked, all trace of lightness vanished now from her voice. Looking wide-eyed with halted hands at Haley. "What is it?"

Haley didn't answer her question. instead the girl had her eyes squeezed shut and her jaw clenched. Her lips pressed together tightly, Brooke felt a panic rising back to full power. Her friend obviously in pain, some strong enough to break through the numbness she'd been feeling, and she didn't know what it was.

"Haley, what?" she asked again, more forcefully. Desperate to know what she could do.

"Knee." Peyton finally switched her brain back on. Answering as the thought came and Haley seemed far too distracted to answer for herself. "She, She told me she hurt her knee."

"And what, she swore you to secrecy?" Brooke snapped angrily towards the blonde for not telling her the detail. No waiting for a response of any kind from the golden haired girl, her voice noticeably softened. "I'm sorry Haley. I didn't know."

"It's ok." she managed out tightly as the surge of pain and the nausea partnered with it began decreasing. "It's ok."

"Good," reaching to squeeze her friend's hand tightly. Attempting to give any comfort she could from the pain. The chocolate haired girl bit her lip a bit before speaking somberly.

"Haley," she began, waiting until their eyes met before she continued. " you can't stay in these clothes. I mean, I know I spaced off from Health class, but we have to get you dry and warm."

"I know." she answered, shakily. Knowing Brooke was right. Haley_ did _pay attention in Health class, and knew well enough she wasn't in great standing at the moment, health wise. She also knew it was going to hurt like a brand new hell, but they had to. And she trusted Brooke to be the one to do it, she just hoped she could get through it without making Brooke feel bad about doing it. "I'll be alright."

"I'm sorry." she apologized in advanced; quite and heartfelt. "I'll be as careful as I can. I promise."

Haley nodded, giving her friend the small gesture to do what she had to.

Brooke released her hold on her hand and flexed her exhausted fingers; praying she could get this over with, with as little torment as possible. She glanced up to her friend and could see the tension in her features as she braced herself for it. Surely putting on a brave front for Brooke's sake.

With her roommate's hand gone from hers, Haley was surprised when she felt another slip in in it's place. Not looking up, she heard the other girl's voice as she leaned down over the seat.

"It's ok." she heard the voice say. the the hand was gone for a moment. "Here." Peyton unwrapped the headphones from her Ipod and carefully put the buds in her ears, speaking before turning anything on. "Listen to this, try to focus on the music..." she returned her hand back to Haley's "...and squeeze my hand when it hurts."

One hand in hers, the other holding on to the mp3 player, prepared to start the music when the time came, Peyton looked over at her oldest friend. She saw gratitude in the deep brown of her wetting eyes. Thankful, immensely, to her for doing this for her friend.

_If she only knew..._

"Ready?" Brooke asked with a sniffle.

Haley didn't verbally respond, only nodded.

Squeezing Peyton's hand tightly as the music began to play.

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	10. At The Bottom Of Everything

**A/N: This was originally two chapters but I edited and spliced to put them together as one because I'm anxious to bring the characters all back together and let all **_**that**_** drama begin to play out. Everything I've cut from these chapters will be available for viewing in the special features of my director's cut dvd release. :) --that was a lie. **

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_"We must take all of the medicines too expensive now to sell _

_Set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell _

_And in the ear of every anarchist that sleeps but doesn't dream _

_We must sing, we must sing, we must sing"_

_'At The Bottom of Everything'_

_-_Bright Eyes

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He stared at the surface of the table. Picking at a knick in the finish nervously, anxiously as he listened to his mother's half of the phone conversation.

_What time is it?_ his brain wondered. A good question. Lte was the only answer he came up with without checking for specifics.

"I know that." his mother spoke, he could tell her temper wouldn't be held back much longer. Whatever was being said to her was not helping anyone. "I know the policy, but I'm not reporting a missing person."

Karen Roe tried to remain calm.

"I'm trying to tell you- " she halted, obviously cut off. "There's a God damn blizzard outside, we haven't heard from them in hours, the roads are closed. I just want to know if it's possible for someone to check the cabin. If you could just send an officer to make sure they're there. Yes." she finally said with a sigh that sounded like relief, "Yes, it's west -" she paused again, hearing him relay back to her the information she'd already given. "Thank you. Thank you."

She hung up and let out another sigh before sitting across from her son at the table. Setting the phone on the table she informed Lucas what was happening. "He's going to call the station out that way, they'll send someone to make sure they're at the cabin."

Lucas didn't answer right away; continuing to stare at the table top. He finally forced out the frightening question.

"And if they're not?"

His mother put her hand over his, rubbing her fingers back and forth over the knuckles.

"They'll be ok." she spoke as if she had any say in it. "Everything's going to be fine."

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A heavy silence filled the car.

Only moments ago it was erupting with sounds; shouting, crying, cursing, everything that had passed only seconds ago had now stopped.

Brooke was now sitting, positioned so Haley's head rested on her lap. A few tears still slipping out silently. It had been awful, heartwrenching to be a part of. It was over, but it echoed still in her ears.

She had tried going slowly first but her roommate's tense words told her to do it quickly; get it over with. Then she'd tried using force. Trying while Haley arched her back and cried out; gripping tightly to the blonde's hand. Peyton's other hand cupped around the girl's bicep, squeezing in an awkward embrace as her torso hung over the back seat.

_"It's too wet! It's bunching!" she'd shouted tearfully as each attempt was more miserable than the last._

_"Stop! You have to stop!" Peyton shouted, unable to sit and take all of it much longer._

_"I can't!" she shouted back. The pause in actions had Haley breathing heavily and speaking in a pained tone. _

_"I can't pass out." she spoke as quickly as she could between heaving breaths, looking up to the face of the girl above her. Everything sounded dulled by the music playing through the headphones. "Peyton, I " a sob, clenching her jaw as tears continued out. "I can't pass out. You have to - have to keep me awake. You can't let - God!"_

_"Brooke!"_

_"Damn it!" Brooke shrieked, before asking quickly. "How attached to these jeans are you?"_

Now it was over. The brunette coming up with, yet another way to conquer the crisis. Getting the same pair of small scissors, it took some time before she finally made an incision into the fabric. But once it was there, she was able to tear up the leg to the waist which had been less of a trial to slip off.

Currently in dry clothes, Haley's head on her roommate's thighs. The pain still resounding, but less intense. Not at the nauseating level of white hot it had been. She didn't feel the need to scream or cry. Just lie there. It was quiet. Brooke's fingers were sliding through her hair with a comfortable assurance that she was ok. If she closed her eyes for just a second...

"Haley." the quiet voice above her. Reminding her of the very important rule hanging over them right now. No sleeping. She had to stay awake as long as she could; until help could get there.

"Eugene."

Haley's quiet response to Brooke catching her and the other occupant off guard. She felt herself smile.

"What?" Brooke asked confused, glancing down at the girl. "Eugene? Who's Eugene?"

"Oh man." Peyton remarked in disbelief. An amused grin tugging at her lips. "I think she's saying..."

"Lucas..."

"Eugene Scott." Haley finished for Brooke.

"Oh no." Peyton said, feeling the laughter bubble up.

"Lucas Eugene Scott." Brooke repeated, trying it out. "Oh my God. I'm dating a Eugene? What's happened to the world?"

The tension swayed as Haley had hoped would happen in disclosing the guarded information. Privaleged best friend information which she'd only found out because she happened to be present where Karen shouted his full name angrily the way parents do. He'd hunted her down and swore her to secrecy; she'd agreed, offering her own middle name for him to safe guard in return.

"Don't worry," Brooke began. "I'll never tell him where I heard it."

Suddenly, Peyton felt a shiver and remembered her clothes were cold and wet from her time in the snow. All the clothing spread out, she searched for the items that were hers. Her best friend happened to glance in time to see the blonde begin the process of changing.

"Good call P. Sawyer." she spoke. "Last thing we need is you playing copycat with TutorGirl. Besides, that top's hideous."

She offered a smirk before turning around to give her privacy.

"You next." Haley instructed, able to price together what was happening by the sounds and conversation.

"I wasn't out as long the two of you. " she replied. "i'm fine."

"Your hurt." her hand reaching up to touch the side of her friend's face. Not touching the wound, but indicating she saw it.

"Pot meet kettle." she stated before her other friend spoke.

"She's right, you should too." Peyton instructed, speaking up before Brooke could argue. "Brooke Davis would never be caught wearing the saem thing two days in a row."

Consenting the two began the awkward account of changing places. Brooke was overly pleased that Peyton seemed to have put aside all ill feelings at least for the moment. She saw her go to sit at Haley's side and wished it had come under much different circumstances. If they hadn't been fighting however, Haley would've been - most likely - in that seat when the car hit. She could very much have ended up in much worse state than now.

Then again, if Brooke had thought to pull over sooner or held out a few more seconds before doing so they wouldn't have been there to be hit. If she had thought to ask the important stuff about the car she was renting they could have had someone on their way long ago rather than praying someone comes along soon. This whole stupid trip was her idea. Practically begged Haley to go. This was all her fault.

Behind the brunette, Peyton was having her own feelings of guilt. She looked the girl over, now in dry clothes and free of the sounds she'd been making that would remain in her head for far too long. Her hand had cramped where Haley had been squeezing it. Though she made no noise now, it was obvious she still hurt.

"Hey," she paused a second accepting the quiet 'Hi' she got back. She cleared her throat, debating on the question she'd been asking herself. "Do you, uh, Do you remember what happened?" quickly adding. "About how you hurt yourself?"

Peyton changed the question as soon as it left her mouth. Assuming maybe the altercation that lead to this moment was a bit fuzzy in her mind. She doubted Haley would have been so receptive of her company if she didn't. So she edited her question; in case she didn't remember just yet, Peyton wasn't in a hurry for her to do so. She'd enjoy not being enemy number one a bit longer.

"I fell," she answered vaguely, her brow furrowing for the details. "I hit....something."

"Hey." she spoke a bit firmer. "Haley you gotta stay awake. Remember?"

After manuevering, the three of them now in the trunk space together. The brunette whistled sharply when she arrived next to Haley.

"Hmm."

"No sleeping." she stated to her. "Not allowed; not yet."

"sorry." she apologized quietly.

"I forgive you," she spoke lightly. "but now the burden of conversation is on you."

"Hell of a trip." she offered up.

"Got that right." Brooke replied, running her hands through her hair. "You sure know how to make it interesting. But that's what I get for riding in a car with a Scott. Get in a car with that last name, you're tempting fate. Check out the track record."

"Nice Brooke." the blonded commented. Then after a moment, Peyton smiled to herself. "Do you remember," she began to ask. "the first time we all rode together?"

Haley had to smile at the memory.

"She named me Brooke."

Peyton laughed, that night so long ago was the first she spent anytime with the tutor.

"Yeah she did." Peyton confirmed with a smile. "I guess the real question is how much do you remember about it, Brooke?"

"_So_ not my fault." Brooke defended. "Ok, Broody and Hubby are the ones to blame for that. I was an innocent bystander is one of many Scott brother throwdowns."

"The pills?" Haley asked.

"Yeah, Brooke. Which of the Scotts made you down those happy pills?"

"Irrelevant." she dismissed jokingly. "I wouldn't have taken them if it never happened. Pluys they did their job right? Pain pills, no pain."

"Or coherent thought." Peyton added.

"Whatever. It was worth it." Brooke mused. "I mean look where we went from there."

"MIles from normal." Haley echoed her words from a lifetime ago.

"Sure are."

Peyton felt her smile waver, turning to look out the window. Brooke continued to do her very best to keep her roommate conversing and coherent. Sighing, she reached into her pocket. She had made sure to transfer the ring when changing clothes. Closing her fist around it in the denim confinement, she spoke quetly to herself.

"Miles from normal."

She closed her eyes, forcing the new batch of tears away. Bouncing the back of her skull on the cars interior. For the millionth time Peyton's head told her it was her fault. She pulled her hand from her pocket and rubbed her tired eyes; heavy with exhaustion and emotional chaos.

Not even a foot from her, her best friend's best friend could easily be dead before the night was over. Which was, upon checking her watch, only a few hours away. It was all her fault.

-

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"And he acted all surprised that I'd never seen it." Brooke told the story. "Can you believe that?"

She was scraping the bottom of the barrell in her brain to keep some sort of conversation going. Now recalling one of her early dates with Lucas.

"Like I'm going to see a movie called Fight Club. I mean help help me out Haley, have you seen it?"

"Yes." her answers shorter, but at least she was doing her part to keep awake, though it was becoming more and more effort.

"Oh...Really?" she spoke surprised. "Sawyer?"

"It's a good movie, Brooke." answering the same question. "I'm surprised you haven't seen it, if not just for your precious Brad."

"Hey, I've seen the shirtless sweaty pics," she informed. "I don't need to watch the whole thing, I've seen the best part."

Brooke could feel Haley's chuckle more than hear it.

"Nice Davis." Peyton commented, trying to keep her tone light but she could feel the agitation of the long day. But she knew some of it slipped out in her tone. Much like Brooke, any word the brunette spoke that wasn't directed at Haley was laced with curt irritation.

"Sorry." the whispered apology surprising the young woman.

"For what sweetie?" she asked looking down at her. "Hey." getting her focus, pulling once again at her efforts to slip under. "Hey, what're you sorry for?"

"Your trip."

"Oh no, don't think like that." she replied instantly. "we'd be sitting here anyway. Just like this."

Hearing the blonde mutter something from where she sat, Brooke glanced over to her. "What'd you say?"

Peyton sighed, contemplating the excuses she could give but the long day was inspiring pointed words adn the urge to use them.

"I said," she began to repeat her words, looking at Brooke. "we wouldn't be if you thought through anything."

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, Brooke, who plans a road trip in a snow storm?"

"And i was supposed to know there'd be a damn blizzard?" she asked bitterly. "How often does it snow in North Carolina?"

"Doesn't matter because it is now, isn't it?"

"You know what, I already know this is my fault, ok!" she shouted, made louder by the small space. "You don't have to tell me."

Peyton didn't respond right away, biting down on the urge to continue releasing into Brooke. She gave herself a handful of seconds to calm down, to make sure the right words came out before finally speaking again.

"It's not your fault, Brooke."

Brooke was facing the window. she couldn't see her face but could tell she was crying. When Brooke cried, she didn't like to be seen. She would look away if she couldn't leave. Her hand went to her mouth when there wasn't something to hug to her chest. And right now, she was staring out the window doing exactly that.

"Hey." Peyton interrupted the silence, hoping to stop it. "Do you remember when we were like, ten or something, and there was that really big snow storm?" she grinned as she spoke, looking ahead of her and not at the girl she addressed. "You came over and we made that, that igloo-house thing out of the snow?"

"We hid out in it all day." Brooke added, after a beat of quiet, allowing Peyton's attempt to cheer her up work. "It was like living in a snow globe. Our own little world and as long as we were in it, nothing else existed. Kind of like now."

"Until my dad made us get out and come inside." Peyton glanced out the window now, as she spoke. Finding a surprising sight. " Hey, snow stopped."

Brooke craned her neck to take a look for herself. Finally they'd caught something that could be called a break.

"That day was amazing." she mused, still smiling at the childhood memory. "What did you do that day, TutorGirl?"

"Probably made a snowman out of Lucas." the blonde speculated, eyes still on the outside world. She smiled at the glass, "Remember Haley's the only one with memories of the little Luke we didn't know."

"Haley?"

Peyton turned from the view at the sound of Brooke's voice, the tone in it. All trace of smile and happy memory gone. Brooke's voice came again, louder now.

"Haley, wake up." she gave her a shake. "Haley!"

-

-

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	11. Candleburn

**A/N: no fun insights to say today unfortunately. anyway, here we go this is a pretty short one, hope you enjoy it. **

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_"O__n Vineland past the candle shrine that melts into the street design  
she waits - for someone  
tonight she'll give herself away  
she'll break apart all by herself  
its so easy how we come undone"_

_'Candleburn'_

_ -_Dishwalla

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-

-

This isn't real. None of it was happening.

It couldn't be.

She couldn't be sitting as both witness and participant to everything that had gone on in what had to be the world's longest day.

It was just a nightmare. Like the one she'd had a few nights ago about being on a falling plane on the way to see her parents in California. Like the ones she still sometimes had about spiders. Like the one she'd had after the car hit, about Peyton and Lucas; she and Luke happy and together until the blonde rose from her lurking hideaway.

It was all just a nightmare she'd soon depart. It had to be.

But it wasn't.

It was all real; every last bit of it.

She was really there. Miles from home - from anywhere - in a wrecked car in the snow. Laying pieces of clothing over one of her best friends because the battery finally died, removing their heat source and they hadn't brought any blankets because their destination was fully furnished. Doing this for one of her friends while not speaking to the other one.

Brooke had been freaking out, trying to wake her roommate who remained unresponsive. It was in the middle of her panic that the vehicle gave a shudder and the hum from the vents fell silent.

After Peyton's failed attempts to get it going again she heard her say it. Quietly, like a whispered sob before laying her forehead on the steering wheel.

_"She's gonna die."_

Brooke lost it on her; screaming denials, telling her to shut up, threatening her not to say it.

Yep. All of it was real. Brooke glanced outside after putting down the last of the makeshift blanket. She could see, now, the beginning slivers of sunrise announcing morning was underway. Sucking in a shaking breath, she exhaled purposefully into her cold hands. Rubbing them together, she ten carefully slid her way in to lay next to Haley.

She felt her own body tremble as a shiver danced through in the cold, cold car.

"Ok." she started, the first words to break the silence in some time now. "I'm going to keep on talking, TutorGirl, and I'm not stopping until you tell me to. If I annoy you just say the word and I'll stop. It's that simple. Got it?" she paused, as if she actually thought she'd be getting a response. "Alright you asked for it."

-

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_-_

_-_

_"NATHAN!"_

His head shot up and his eyes instantly opened. He looked around, every piece of his body on edge and alert. He was in his living room. Nathan shook his head and rubed his eyes. He could have sworn he'd heard Haley screaming; calling his name. But a quick check upon waking abruptly told him he had dozed off for a minute or two. It was just in his head.

He was still sitting on the couch, his cell phone having fallen from his grasp to his lap while he slept. Checking it hopefully, he saw that he'd missed a call from his brother in the short time in which he'd been asleep. Quick to hear if Lucas had any news he returned the call.

Clearing his throat and rubbing his face while it rang on the other end. Getting up from his seat, the dark haired Scott slowly paced the room until he heard the line pick up.

"Brooke?" Lucas sounded expectant obviously not checking his phone before answering it.

"It's me."

"Nate." he sounded still hopeful though his own voice exhaustion was evident in his voice. "What's going on? Did you hear from them?"

"No." Nathan siged, disappointed. "I guess that means you haven't either? I saw I missed your call, I was hoping..."

"Sorry." he apologized "But I wanted to tell you Mom called the police, they said they'll get someone from a closer station out to the cabin to make sure they're there."

"That's, That's good." Nathan sighed, putting his hand over his eyes. Already deciding in his mind what would happen next. "Listen, Luke, I've got to go."

Something in his voice raised a flag for Lucas. Maybe they were more like-minded than they thought, because he knew right away what was in his brother's mind.

"Nathan," he said cautiously. "don't do anything stupid, man. The roads - "

"Too late, Lucas." he interrupted. His gut feeling combined with the echo of her screaming for his help was more than too much for him to keep playing the waiting game. "I'm not sitting around anymore."

"Nathan wait!" Lucas spoke before he could hang up.

"You're not talking me out of this. If-"

"I'm coming with you." now he interrupted with the surprise answer.

"There's no way your car does better in the snow than the tow." he rationalized. "I'll pick you up."

"Alright." he answered after a sigh.

Lucas glanced over his shoulder, making sure his mom wasn't within range to have overheard him. There's no way she'd be ok with this. But Nathan was right; he couldn't sit around anymore either. Quietly picking up the keys to the tow truck, he slid on his coat and slipped out the door while silently apologizing to his mom for the worry he knew his actions would cause.

He typed out a text to her telling her what he was doing, waiting until he was already on the road to hit send.

-

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-

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The car made it's way down the long road. The sounds of the snow crunching under the tires announcing it was the first to travel down this way since the latest of the powder landed. The only other sound came from the driver grumbling to himself in the emptiness of the car.

He got the short straw at the station. Now he was on his way out to some fancy ass getaway cabin in the middle of God's nowhere because someone's mommy was afraid the poor little rich girls got lost in the woods.

He knew he was being unfair and cynical, but it was hard not to be. He was coming off of an all night shift in a freak snow storm that had flooded his station with accident reports and missing people and power outages. Right before hew as going to go home and relax he gets the job handed down to him to do this for the station in Tree Hill; the small dot of a town no bigger than theirs.

Officer Lennon pulled his patrol up to the place that matched the address he was given. Poor little rich girl was right. The place was very nice without stepping inside. He knocked on the door several times, identifying himself as an officer. After his attempts he returned to his car reported to the radio that he was getting no response. Probably all passed out from whatever highpriced liquor they chose over beer.

His radio chirped back with the voice telling him they got a call from a woman reporting her car was broken down roughly half an hour from where he was. With a sigh he said he'd take it since it was on his way back anyway.

This time on his trip he switched on his siren. Knowing someone for a fact was waiting on his response in the cold made it more urgent than knocking on a door. Lennon was well away from the cabin, maybe fifteen minutes from the breakdown in good driving conditions, but in this, who really knew how much longer it would be. He carefully steered around a curve and drove down the straightaway.

His eyes happened to choose themoment to glance at his rearview mirror; in time to see a figure collapse to the ground behind him.

"Holy shit!" he announced in surprise hitting his breaks quick enough to slide in the snow.

He backed up as quickly and carefully as possible manuevering the car to stop off road.

"What the hell?"he asked himself, speedily getting out of the vehicle to check on the person.

He opened the door and had barely stood from his driver's seat however he was met with the presence of a very disheveled blonde girl.

"Are you ok?" he asked quickly; taking into account her appearance and the fact that she literally came out of nowhere. He put his hands on her shoulders as a thought popped in his head. "Are you one of the girls from Tree Hill?"

She was shivering beneath her jacket and her answer was stuttered and fast as she gestured down the embankment.

"Down here-Down there...we need help!"

-

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	12. Let There Be Morning

**A/N: Yay for an update! And yay for season 7 finally starting after what feels like a million years. I'm sure everyone has put in their two cents about it in their a/n's so here's my obligatory opinion. Meh...it was alright. It seems it was an introduction for the new people more than anything. And of course to take the first steps in the upcoming drama. It'll be weird not having L and P (I love hilarie but I sure grew to dislike peyton) on the show but I've always wanted the spotlight more on the awesome 3 that are still there! I actually sat down to update my BSG story but this poured out of me instead so yay! It's actually vrry long but it's my process and I hope you like it. Anyway, onward!**

****This chapter is dedicated to Long Live BRUCAS, who for the most part has left a review for almost every single chapter update. I wish I had a cookie to give you but I ate the last one.**

***** Something different in this chap is I put an opening "voiceover" at the beginning, when I wrote it I imagined it was Peyton saying it since it applies.**

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"_Now the end is drawing near_

_Can't believe it's finally here_

_Take some time to pray for me_

_For what will be"_

_'Let There Be Morning'_

-The Perishers

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_-_

_-_

"_Sophocles once said, 'There is no witness so terrible, no accuser so powerful as conscience which dwells within us."_

_-_

The doors spread open, revealing the clamour of happenings to any who might be around to see it. Coming through the double doors, charging through into the emergency area, the three who'd left together the day before now returned the same way.

Brooke doing her best to keep pace with the man and woman who'd met the ambulance upon it's arrival. The paramedics basically just handing off her friend to the waiting duo. Passing to them the gurney and rattling off with numbers and information Brooke couldn't translate.

"What does that mean?" she asked more than once, following closely as they discussed her sleeping friend amongst each other. "Is she gonna be ok?"

There was so much sound and chatter going on and by. The doctor said soemthing reassuring her way that sounded too practiced to actually comfort her. Her head hurt. Where was Peyton? And why weren't they letting her follow them anymore?

"Miss." someone speaking to her while the brunette continued to look the direction Haley had disappeared in. "come with me and we'll check you out as well."

"What?" Brooke asked, her mind still trying to process all the new action happening.

She put her hand to the throbbing side of her head and now looked to face the woman that spoke to her. Then looked around, her eyes searching, she heard her voice ask no one in particular. "Where's Peyton?"

Then darkness.

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Peyton nodded and offered a small thanks to the aging doctor who had checked her out. She'd followed his lead to an exam area almost as soon as they'd arrived while Brooke flew off. She'd seen the way things had gone down on the ride over; how could she not?

The itchy warming blanket they'd each been given as a party favor from the EMT's was clenched tightly around her shoulders. She tried, at first, to listen to what they said; tried to follow as they spoke back and forth over Haley. Body temperature, pulse, something about her pupils after one of them had opened her eyes to inspect, BP...blood pressure? She didn't know for sure, Peyton was not a doctor.

Never wanted to be, either. She had her own crappy problems she was barely dealing with, no way should she ever be responsible for another person's well being. The entire ride she'd been silent, staring at the prone form of the still girl. While Brooke's voice was constant. She answered their questions:

"_Name? How long...Did you see..."_

And when she wasn't answering she was asking.

"_What's that mean? Is that bad? She'll be ok?" _And Peyton just sat there, watching it all and offering nothing to the proceedings.

Being found, "rescued" didn't happen as she imagined it would. Her stupid fictional mind thought being found would be like flipping a switch and making everything better, quickly settin them all on the path to right. But in reality it was a process, and a painfully slow one at that. After running to the road and finding the officer, he called in for help giving location. He left her at the road with a fire blanket and instructions to sit in the car while he took another blanket and ran towards the car.

They had to wait for the ambulance. Then they had to wait the frustrating time it took to carefully bring Haley up from the wreckage. Then, after determining they were only slightly closer to Tree Hill Memorial then any other hospital, they had to withstand the seemingly endless journey there.

Somewhere along the way, amidst the waiting, her anxiousness had ebbed, feeling in it's blace a morbid resignation. Peyton couldn't pinpoint exactly what or when it was.

Maybe it was watched the yellow backboard being brought up with it's occupant strapped securely on it. Maybe it was seeing Brooke crying and desperately grasping for hope. Or the blues and grays that claimed Haley's skin tone as she remained unresponsive. Or maybe it was hearing life come down to a series of numbers and math.

Whatever, whenever it was Peyton had felt with a clear certainty that it was over. She would die and that was it.

So when they blew through the hospital double doors and Brooke swept herself away at her roommate's side, Peyton didn't. She just watched the small crowd flow away and then followed one of the waiting doctors Brooke had ignored who'd been waiting for the two less critical from the arriveing ambulance.

She was fine. Bumps, bruises, sores and apparently a sprained wrist she hadn't noticed at all until being examined. Getting the paperwork she needed to fill out, Peyton glanced around the waiting area. She wondered where Brooke was. If she'd been tended to. If she'd been told yet the news Peyton was already anticipating.

-

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_-_

She felt her mind slowly coming around for a few slow seconds before she was able to open her eyes. Her body screaming at her in protest, wanting nothing more than to lay in exhausted slumber for days. But, nonetheless, she forced herself to wake, promising her bones she'd sleep plenty when it was all over.

"There you are." a voice greeted her.

Looking around, saw she noticed she was now on a bed, in a curtained area with only one other person who she had to assume was the owner of the voice. The young woman approached her bed as Brooke tenderly sat up. She was feeling everything in every inch of her. She wondered how long she'd been out, determining it couldn't have been too long as she was still in her clothes and not some garish hospital frock.

"Easy." the doctor spoke to her as she pulled herself to sitting position. She took out her pen light, holding it to one of Brooke's eyes and then the other. "Know your name?"

"Brooke." she answered and cleared her throat. "Brooke Davis."

"Well, Brooke Brooke Davis," the woman began lightly as she scribbled something down. "I'm Dr. DeVille."

"Really?" she questioned. "Like Cruella?"

"It's actually Allison," she answered after a small chuckle. "but congratulations you jumped to that a lot quicker than my roommate ever did so I'd say you'll be just fine. It looks like you've got yourself a nice concussion and we'll need to stitch that up. You took quite a knock to the head."

"Do you know anything about my friends?" Brooke asked her right away. Even as she asked the question she could feel brand new tears welling up. "Are they ok?"

"I'll see what I can find out for you. What're their names?"

"Peyton Sawyer and Haley James...Scott. Haley James-Scott. There was an accident, we got stuck in the snow."

"It's alright." DeVille spoke seeing her patient begin to well up as she spoke. Laying her hand on her shoulder she gave it a small squeeze. "You're here now, all of you. Ok? I'm going to get a suture kit to take care of that cut and I'll see about your friends."

"Thank you."

-

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-

The blonde approached the nurse's desk with the now completed forms she'd been instructed to fill out. She was starting to get worried. It had taken a while to take care of all of it and in the entire time she'd been working on it she hadn't seen Brooke come back. Handing the written information over, the woman behind the desk accepted with mandatory politeness, calling her Miss Sawyer after glancing at the name on the paper.

"Sawyer?" a new voice caught her ear as she turned to leave, stopping her exit. She turned back around.

"Yeah?" she asked confused as she came to face a doctor she didn't recognize.

"Peyton Sawyer?" a woman with dirty blonde hair asked.

"One and only." she answered with a nervous shrug of her shoulders.

"I'm Dr. DeVille." she introduced herself, offering her hand.

"Cool." Peyton spoke shaking the extended hand, "Like Cruella."

The doctor grinned a bit at the familiar comment and continued with her conversation.

"Your friend Brooke is my patient. She's been asking for you."

"Is she ok?"

"She should be just fine." she informed. "If you follow me I can take you right to her and you can see for yourself."

She followed DeVille to a curtained off area in the emergency room. All of them appeared the same as the one Peyton had stepped into and out of not long ago. The woman led her to a specific curtain, pulling it back to reveal her best friend.

Brooke sat with her legs hanging off the side of the mattress, bouncing them in that nervous way she did. Her face instantly changed a measure in relief at Peyton's appearance. She jumped to her feet and instantly threw her arms around her and held her in a tight embrace. Peyton suddenly feeling less passive about the moment, returned the hug just as fiercely. Grimacing at the sting of pain from her right wrist. How the hell had she not noticed how much it hurt all this time?

"Where were you?" Brooke asked her before pulling back.

"Those people in the white coats you ignored." she answered. "I let them give me a once over."

Conveniently leaving out the part where she was sure nothing the hospital did was going to matter for Haley anyway so she didn't bother. Brooke nodded at her response.

"Are you ok?" the brunette asked her friend, noticing the flesh colored bandage wrapped around her wrist and palm.

"Oh yeah." she assured, waving her arm a few times. "Little souvenir."

"Ok, Brooke," the doctor regained their attention as she laid out her tools o nthe tray. "I need you to sit here so we can take care of that cut.

"What about Haley?" Brooke asked as she sat down, looking from one to the other for an answer.

Peyton only shook her head while DeVille gave some answer about the doctor that was with Haley saying their friend was in great hands. Brooke winced, feeling the syringe tip administer the local anesthesia which took only a few moments to kick in. The throbbing dying down, leaving only the fuzzy numbness in the area.

"Is there someone you girls can call?" DeVille asked, beginning her careful work. "Family? For you and your friend. The doctor will want to speak with them; get consent just to be safe."

"Peyton." Brooke spoke, careful not to move, to her friend who was stood watching over the doctor's shoulder.

The blonde nodded, stepping out of the 'room' to do so. She walked back towards the waiting area and pulled out her phone with a deep breath.

-

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-

He returned the pump to it's specific handle, the fuel finally stopped flowing, meaning the tank was finally full. They hadn't even made it to the highway yet before Lucas noticed they would definitely be needing gas. Returning the pump to the handle he glanced up towards the windshield, seeing his brother through the glass. He was checking his phone again.

Lucas didn't suspect that either of them had slept more than a few moments of drifting the entire night. A thought that made him think perhaps a quick run inside for coffee was a good idea. But he heard his own phone ring as he replaced the gas cap on the truck.

His mom had already called to yell at him, telling him to come home and let the police do the searching. He asked if they'd called her yet and at that time the answer was no. Assuming it was her, he opened his cell without bothering to look at it.

"Anything?"

"Lucas."

His heart leapt to his throat, any steps he was taking towards the truck halted as if someone had simply pressed pause on the scene.

"Peyton." he felt something tighten in his throat, but he forced the words out. "Are you guys alright? We've been going crazy."

"Lucas." she said his name again. "I..."

"What's wrong?" he asked panicking, all sorts of scenarious beginning as to why it was Peyton who called him out of the three of them and why she sounded the way she did. "What happened?" he spoke with more force when she didn't answer his first question and heard her take a shaking breath. "We're coming ok? Just tell me where you guys are. Where are you?"

"The..." she cleared her throat and looked around as if worried about being listend to for some reason. "The hospital." she finally stated.

"We're on our way." he informed. "What happened? How bad is it?" he asked fearfully, glancing to where Nathan now stared at him curiously.

"Just get here Luke." she said. "Get Nathan and get here."

"Peyton-" but she already hung up. He ran to the driver's door and hopped in, immediately starting up the engine.

"Who was it?" Nathan asked just as his brother's phone rang again.

"Peyton?"

"Lucas." his mother's voice coming through. She sounded like he felt. "Lucas I just got a call-"

"Yeah, Peyton called me just now."

"They-They didn't give me any details." she stammered. "I'm heading out the door now."

"I'll meet you there."

"Lucas, tell me what the hell is going on." Nathan finally demanded. "Peyton called you? What'd she say? Are they at the cabin?"

"No."

"Where are they?"

-

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Her legs bounced, heels bounding anxiously up and down against the tile floor. After everythingn was taken care of, Brooke traded the mattress for one of the many identical waiting room chairs. She kept nervously touching the thick white bandage covering her new stitches. Kept looking up, looking around, looking for someone who would tell her what was happening.

Looking for Peyton.

The blonde had yet to reappear since she'd last seen her leave to make the call. She knew it wouldn't be the easiest conversation to have even if she just gave the basic message, but even if she had taken it on herself to explain everything, Brooke didn't think it should be taking this long.

The thought came to her, as tremendously horrid as it was, that Peyton had actualy left. Brooke knew all too well how her friend felt about hospitals; this one in particular. Not to say she didn't have a good reason for those feelings or that Brooke didn't understand how hard it was to be there, but she c ould believe she wouldn't stay. Regardless of whatever personal feelings she had for Haley prior to this – and possibly still? - Brooke needed her there. Peyton had to know that.

Wrapping her arms around herself, she wished they were someone else's holding her. It still was too much to believe all that happened and was still happening, and that she was sitting there alone. By herself, surrounded by mostly empty chairs and a few groups of people waiting in twos and threes for their own news. Peyton off somewhere. Nathan and Lucas were – she assumed – on their way.

She ran her hands together, as if trying to warm them even though the chill had left her bones by now. Her eyes followed each staff member that came into view. Hoping each time one of them she'd recognize as the one she'd been following with Haley earlier until she'd been forced to stop. But so far none of them were. None of them even glanced at her once. No one thinking to cast their eyes at the nervious cryin ggirl in need of a shower and a week's sleep.

What she needed was her friend; her boyfriend. She desperately needed to fold into Lucas and let him hold her close until it was all over. She needed to breathe in his calming presence. She needed to see Haley.

Her eyes settled down on the white floor beneath her feet. She thought about Haley's parents, wondered if there was a way to get ahold of them. Maybe Lucas would know. Brooke, herself, didn't know much about them, only what her roommate had told her which wasn't much. It was usually something said in passing or some stupid joke about something her mom used to say or something like that. She knew that Haley came from a big family, referring to herself as The Runt a few times. She knew she was always happy to hear from any of them. But other than that she was basically clueless.

Brooke got the vibe that her folks being away was kind of a sore spot no matter how her friend tried to play it off. She felt it might have been a factor in how they'd been able to bond as uniquely as they had. The both of them anymore were living with only the family they'd made for themselves.

Her brain sparked back to her current reality when a pair of worn down Converse shoes stepped into her vision. Knowing the owner without any other clue, she spoke to the floor.

"Where've you been?" looking up from the floor for the answer the girl would give for disappearing.

"Getting air." _throwing up in the parking lot. _"Pacing in front of the doors," she admitted. " trying to force myself to come in."

"Was it that hard a decision?" she asked with a bitter disbelief that Peyton didn't know how to answer.

"The guys are on their way." Peyton informed after the silence went on for a beat.

"Good." Brooke rubbed her palms against the friction of her thighs. "I was thinking, we should call Karen. I mean, she's the closest thing to a parent Haley's got, right? She should be here."

Silently Brooke put her boyfriend's mother in that category for herself as well.

"You're right." Peyton broke into her thoughts, bringing the sitting girls eyes back up to hers. "I'll call."

Peyton turned to do just that, stopping when Brooke's hand seemingly shot out of no where and caught her uninjured hand by a few fingers. Then the brunette was standing as well and once again wrapped her arms around Peyton. Not the tight fierce type of earlier. This embrace just...was. Before Peyton could say anything she heard the voice in her hair.

"Thank you...for everything you did. For being here."

"Brooke..." she whispered, returning the same soft hug.

"It's my fault." even in the quiet tone she could hear her voice breaking on Peyton's shoulder. "It's all my fault."

"No." she argued forcefully. Pulling back and putting a hand on either side of the brunette's head, careful of the wound. Forcing to look in her eyes. "This is _not_ your fault. Believe me. You gotta stop saying that and you gotta stop thinking it because it's not true."

"Yeah right." she replied sarcastically. "But thank you for lying to me."

"I said it because it's true." she answered. "And because I love you, B. Davis."

"You too P. Sawyer."

"Good." taking her hands off and preparing to make another call. "You alright?"

"We'll see." she shrugged, getting a quiet ok from her friend before she walked out of sight.

Brooke sighed, twisting her hands together nervously as she approached the nurse's desk covered in cheesy cardboard snowflakes and christmas trees taped to it.

"Excuse me." she began, getting attention. "Can you tell me anything about Haley James-Scott? We've been waiting for a while and I haven't -"

"You're a family member?"

"Well, I - " she stuttered. " not technically but -"

"I'm sorry information about patients can only be given to family members.'

"I know that's the rule and I totally get it, but I-I'm her roommate and one of her best friends and her family's not here and I don't know how to get ahold of them. She has a husband who's on his way but I don't know how long - "

"Ma'am," she interrupted the girls ranting. "I'm sorry - "

"I just," now she was the one cutting her off, getting herself under a bit more control. "I just want to know how my friend is. Please."

The middle aged woman opened her mouth to speak but Brooke heard another instead.

"Brooke!"

Turning towards it, she saw none other than the Scott brothers rushing towards her. Both holding a look of dread and worry. She moved towards them, barely taking two steps before she was enveloped in the long arms of her boyfriend. Feeling her body lifted off her feet by those strong arms, she felt the first moment of relief and safety in hours.

Squeezing him as tightly as possible as he held her body off the ground and against his. She heard him let out a breath into her hair right before he lowered her back to her feet.

"Lucas." she barely had his name out of her mouth before his covered it, swallowing the breath she spoke in.

Just what she needed. His kisses always felt like coming home. Happiness, comfort, safety, love...if these things had a taste, she imagined they would taste like his mouth on hers. She could find the entire meaning of life in Lucas Scott's kisses.

When they stopped, he kept his head low enough to touch his forehead to hers and looked into her eyes as he spoke.

"I was so worried." he told her. "I didn't hear from you and the storm and Peyton called she said you were at the hospital and I thought - " he shook his head rather than voice the rest of it. "Oh Pretty Girl, what you do to my heart."

"I love you." the only answer she could give as she felt still more tears, these of relief.

"I love you."

"Brooke." Nathan finally spoke. He'd given them a moment, fighting every urge to rip them apart and grill Brooke for every detail until he got the same luxury his brother got. Seeing the girl he care about most in the world with his own eyes. Holding her in his arms, feeling her there with him. He couldn't stand back waiting anymore. "What about Haley? Where is she?"

Looking from Nathan to Lucas and back again. Facing the infamous number 23 nervously she began her effort to explain.

"Nathan..." her voice alone. The tone, the shake in it. His face instantly darkened.

"Where is she?" he demanded to know. Then turned away from the couple. "Haley!"

He shouted her name again stalking through the area. Pulling back curtains looking behind each one until he felt someone grab him, pulling him away.

"Get off me, man!" he shouted at the orderly who was removing him and stopping his actions. Nathan struggled against him.

"Call security!" the man ordered.

"No!" Lucas argued coming up to the altercation. "I got him. He's my brother. I got him."

Lucas pulled Nathan away who angrily stomped from his brother.

"Get him under control."

Lucas nodded to the man and followed Nathan back to Brooke.

"Talk." Nathan demanded

"We-We were going to the cabin like we planned and the storm started. We pulled over cause the windshield and we couldn't see. But the car got stuck, the tires in-in the snow and we didn't know what to do." she felt Lucas put his hand on her lower back in comforting her yet urging her to continue. "There was an argument. Peyton and Haley got out and and I was about to follow, that's when you called." speaking to her boyfriend specifically. "An-and they fought, like _fought_ fought and she went to cool off or something - "

"Wait, wait." Nathan interrupted her rambling story. "You just let her go off?"

"I-"

"In the storm? In that shit you just let her wander off alone?"

"Hey." Lucas stepped between the two as his brother took an intimidating step towards his girlfriend. He put his hand on Nathan's chest, keeping him back. He didn't think Nathan would intentionally hurt her, but he knew he had a temper and knew he was not in his best state of mind right now and it was obvious Brooke was scared too, he didn't need to go making it worse. "This wasn't her fault. So ease up."

"Nathan, I didn't mean to." Brooke spoke desperately trying to explain, stepping from behind Lucas. "I mean, I was gonna follow her because I didn't _want_ her off by herself but Peyton said to just give her a second and I swear, Nathan I swear, I was a second from going. I _never_ would have left her out there. But before I could there was an accident. Some car, I don't know, lost control and hit us."

At this information Nathan noticed for the first time the stark white bandage on the girl. A detail he had somehow missed with his mind clouded with worry. He said nothing as everything boiled inside him and Brooke continued her story.

"I woke up and it's just me and Peyton and the car was wrecked and we didn't know where she was."

He ran his hands through his hair and grabbed the back of his head looking up at the ceiling. Letting out a loud frustrated groan as he tried to process it all. He barely kept from screaming, balling his fists at his sides he turned away from the speaking girl and took a few steps before turning around and coming back, trying his best to be calm.

"But you found her?" he asked. "What-Was she hurt?"

The brunette opened her mouth to speak when the younger of the brothers changed his focus. His sharp eyes looking past her. He saw the woman at the desk speaking with a doctor and pointing in the direction of the three of them. Nathan pushed through the couple quickly who turned to follow his lead and meet the man coming towards them.

"You're the family of Haley James-Scott?"

"I'm her husband."

Peyton stood at a distance from all of them. Choosing to remain out of sight after she returned from her attempt to get in touch with Karen – who wasn't answering – and seeing Nathan and Lucas run to Brooke. She felt awful watching her friend get grilled by Nathan, letting Brooke be the only available target for his emotion, yet she was unable to make herself move.

Instead she watched the exchange, only able to hear what was said when it was shouted. Nathan's reaction was a brand new knife of guilt slicing her open.

She hung back still while they spoke with the bearded doctor for a few moments. Well out of hearing range, she tried reading the body language of all people involved in the conversation. She had to admit she was a bit surprised that there seemed to be a collective relief that generated from them. Then Nathan walked off with the doctor while Brooke and Lucas stayed back and wrapped themselves around each other.

Maybe it didn't all end as she'd thought it would, but that didn't change the fact that there was most definitely a special place in hell just for her.

Reserved for Peyton Sawyer.

-

-

**wow! That _was_ long! But i'm sure we're all glad that our fab 5 are all among each other again. That means plenty o' drama to come and secrets don't stay secrets for long.**


	13. Near To You

**A/N: Much apologies in the delay. Turns out school is a lot more time consuming than I remember. That plus the gross sicknesses that are taking turns with everyone in the house. On that same note, if anyone reading this also happens to read my BSG fic "Until She Can't" don't worry, that too will get an update tomorrow. Absences in that for the same reasons as this one. . . Anyway, here we go. It's not fantastic, kinda short, but I hope you like it anyway!**

**p.s. ILoveSarahSophia that's a great point of view to have. :)**

_-_

_0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

"_You and I have something different_

_And I'm enjoying it, cautiously_

_I am battle scarred_

_I am working oh so hard_

_To get back to who I used to be"_

_'Near To You'_

-A Fine Frenzy

_0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

-

"You're the family of Haley James Scott?"

"I'm her husband." Nathan answered immediately though he'd be the first to admit that, while it was true on paper, he hadn't really been a husband in practice for a while now.

"Is she ok?" it was Brooke's voice.

The doctor looked questionably to Nathan who told him it was alright to tell them too. "We're all family."

"I'm Dr. Asher." he introduced himself before beginning. "Mr. Scott, as I'm sure you know, your wife was exposed to the cold for what seems to be quite some time so our chief concern was her body temperature being as low as it was."

"But you helped, right?" Brooke spoke up again. Asking the question and interrupting when all Nathan wanted was to hear everything and know it was ok. "You warmed her up."

"The body takes time to regulate it's temperature. It can't just be pulled from one extreme back to normal right away. But as far as that's goes, she is out of the degree of major concern and still escalating. With moderate hypothermia, however, there's the possibility of effects developing in heart and brain function."

Lucas listened to the white-coated man and absent mindedly brought his hand – the one not wrapped tightly around Brooke – up to his own chest.

"Her heart?" he asked, feeling his own pounding uncertainly beneathe his palm.

"We've done an EKG and EEG and, so far, everything looks fine. We'll be checking periodically to make sure everything stays this way." As he spoke, Brooke mentally filed away the things she didn't completely understand. Words she told herself she'd be sure to look up later when she had the chance. "Now, about her knee-"

"Knee?" Nathan's voice for the first time since the explanation began. He took a second to look to Brooke who hadn't mentioned anything earlier about it...or maybe she had?

"S-She said she hit something when she fell." Brooke explained. "That it was why she couldn't get back."

Nathan just nodded, signalling she didn't have to say any more. He sensed another apology was just behind her lips. He didn't want her to keep apologizing. He knew she felt horrible and he knew he played a part in that with the way he acted upon his arrival.

"Well, whatever it was she hit, it was a fierce knock." he went on. "It was dislocated. We've set it, but we'll need to wait now for the swelling to go down before we can get a good look to see what damage might have occurred during separation."

"What kind of damage?" Brooke again.

"Best case it'll just be ligaments, which would require surgical reconstruction. Then of course, there'll be physical therapy. Worst case would be vascular or nerve damage. I'll go over this with her once she's awake."

"She's still not awake?" Brooke asked, that wasn't what she was wanting to hear. "How much longer?"

"A few hours at least, maybe the day at most." then looked only to Nathan. "Mr. Scott, I know you've other things on your mind, but I'm going to need you to take care of some paper work. Insurance forms, information, consent, standard things."

"Yeah." Nathan nodded; his duty as the husband. "Can I see her yet?"

"She's being settled now," he replied. "I can show you the way."

"Excuse me, Doctor." Brooke spoke up as he turned to lead Nathan away. "I'm sorry I don't remember your name."

"Asher." he answered.

"Sorry. Dr. Asher," she started again. "there was, um, some.." she shifted uncomfortably under the eyes of the three men. "a mark or...around her chest and back..."

"Some bruising." he nodded to her, she chose to look solely at the man speaking even though she felt, still, Nathan's stare. "Nothing excessive. It'll be tender but nothing to worry about."

"Thank you." she gave a small smile, feeling better.

Asher nodded once more to her and Lucas before gesturing for Nathan to followhim. Brooke watched the two walk off and felt Lucas rubbing her back. She turned towards him, finding his eyes with hers.

"It's ok." he told her. Rubbing the pad of his thumb over her cheek. "Hey, it's ok."

"She's gonna be ok." she nodded, feeling tears of relief in her voice.

"Yeah." he whispered, letting her fold against him and wrapping his arms around her smaller form.

-

_0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

-

After accepting the last of the papers needing his attention into his hands, he gave a quiet thanks to the man who then left him at the door. Nathan tucked the papers under his arm and cast a quick glance at his shoes, takin ga breath before slowly opening the door. As he'd been told, she slept.

For a few moments, he only stood awkwardly, half in the room with his hand on the door handle.

"Can I help you?"

He looked towards the voice's owner, unaware anyone else was there until then. Seeing a middle aged woman with red hair in a ridiculous set of scrubs covered in christmas trees.

"I'm her husband." he answered, his eyes going back over to Haley.

Moving closer, he made it to her bedside without faltering and looked her over. Covered up to the shoulders in the blanket, he could only see her face. She looked better than the whole situation had led him to imagine. Really he thought she looked perfect. Maybe she was sort of pale, and he could see some bruising around the stitched line on her forehead, but as beautiful as ever. Now glancing down over her covered body, he could see her shape raising the fabric in all the right ways with the exception of the odd form poking from under the cover. He knew that was the immobilizing brace around her injured leg.

He glanced up, once again, seeing the festively dressed nurse. She was looking at the hanging bag of fluid and then writing something down.

"Is that for the pain?" he asked, remembering when he'd messed up his own knee in the crash not incredibly long ago. Remembering that the pain could be near unbearable if given the chance. Of course, then he wasn't feeling much of anything.

"No." she answered lightly with a smile. "This is saline, its for hydration." then she pointed her pen towards another almost identical one. "This is the pain medication."

"So she's not feeling any of it?" he asked, putting a hand on the bed rail, the other smoothing a wrinkle in the blanket as he looked down at her. "It doesn't hurt?"

"Not now. When she wakes up it might be a different story." she gave him another smile he didn't look up to see; his eyes only on his wife. She followed his eyes and spoke. "How long have you been married?"

"Few months." still not looking at her.

"No offense," she began, "you're both awful young."

She made conversation. Part of her job, a big part, was the conversation and small talk. Treating the patient and treating the people around them. A whole lot of comfort could come from a few minutes of just talking to someone. About anything, whatever.

"Yeah." he answered, lowering his body to sit in the stool near the bedside. Keeping his gaze on Haley, he grinned despite himself at a memory. "Everyone thought she was pregnant when they found out. Drove her crazy."

He heard the woman chuckle before she spoke. "Well don't tell her then, but if you hadn't said that my next question probably would've been how old is the kid."

"It's ok." he was used to it. He just brushed it off. He didn't expect people to understand.

"Bet you had a lot of doubters out there."

"Almost everyone."

"Screw them, right?" she offered abruptly, causing him to finally look at her. "You're proving all them wrong, aren't you?"

She left the room and Nathan, alone, let out a sigh. Proving them wrong? It didn't feel like that at all. If anything someone probably had collected some money on winning a bet about them. He remembered when he was the one telling her they would prove them all wrong. When he'd come home and found her cryin over their CD's taking them as a sign they were doomed. He believed then with his whole heart he would prove them all wrong.

Now look.

It felt surreal. Hearing the doctor give him all the information, signing consent forms and giving them permission, making decisions for her. All of it for the woman who'd fairly recently come back to his life. Though it made sense he do this. According to the state, the law and all the forms he continously scribbled on, she was still very much Mrs. Scott. Very much his wife. But she'd never really left his life; not completely. He knew that.

Dropping the papers on the side table, he then knotted his fingers together and rested his chin on his joined hands. Watching her sleep, he thought over everything that had happened since she came back. Thought about how all he had wanted for so long was her to walk back into his world and say she loved him, she missed him. And when she finally had, all he could do was think about how much it hurt. He felt himself wanting to hurt her as much as she had him. The only one who truly could hurt him deeper than anyone else and she'd done just that.

Nathan was too terrified to give her the chance to do it again. He wouldn't survive it a second time. He wasn't strong enough.

Eventually, they'd started taking things slow. Incredibly slow. As he'd told her he wanted. Now, sitting next to her, he was realizing how much time he been wasting. All this time between them spent dancing around each other and what they really wanted.

What if this had been it?

If she had died, it would been without knowing how much he wanted her. How he needed her just to make breathing okay. How much he was so completely in love with her. These thoughts owning his mind, Nathan ached to hold her hand in his. Feel her really there.

Scooting his seat close as he could, he slid a hand under the heated blanket and, blindly, it found her fingers first. He let out a shaking breath almost half a laugh of relief. Gripping tightly to her, feeling like he had never let go in the first place, he reached his his other hand to her face, tracing his fingers over her cheek.

He felt the sting in his eyes, raising from his seat to put a kiss on her forehead. Sitting back down he sighed, their hands still together, hidden under the blanket, Nathan didn't know how long he'd been there. He knew he wasn't the only one who needed to see for sure she was ok. But he didn't care.

He just wanted to sit with her.

-

_0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

-

The tile floor was hard beneath her. She was starting to feel the effects of sitting on it's hard surface for however long she'd been there. Peyton had watched them get whatever detailed news the doctor had given them. Out of hearing range, staying away from them all, she put the pieces together by watching their reactions.

She saw Nathan urgently follow the man away. Brooke and Lucas held each other. She saw her best friend's shoulders shake which told her she cried, but she witnessed nothing akin to heartbreak.

The blonde recalled the way she felt the information break into her. She was alive, and as far as Peyton could assume, Haley would be alright. For the what felt like the millionth time, she felt tears forming. But it was different this time. This time she could feel the entire day in her chest. Every word, action and event.

The image of her friends instantly blurred and she shut tight her lips and covered her mouth to keep the sob from getting out and possibly being loud enough to alert them to her presence. She turned and took off, not paying attention to where she was going. She just moved away from them. Every hall looked the same through tears.

Finally she came to a corner and she decided it was as good a place as any to stop. She had to get it out, and she had to do it right away. So Peyton slid against the wall until she sat on the floor.

She had sat there, hiding her face in her knees and letting the loud sobs shake through her. Now, however long later, she was trying to get her breathing back to normal. No longer sobbing, but the tears still coming out. She refused to raise her head. One person had come up to her, a hand touched her shoulder and an unfamiliar voice asked if she was alright. Peyton had only shook her head, keeping her face hidden and not glancing up at the polite stranger.

It was a hospital, it couldn't be that out of place to find someone crying. She let the stranger assume the worse and then go on their way.

But now, Peyton was surprised by another voice.

"Peyton?" it sounded surprised.

This voice she recognized. Reluctantly she finally glanced up to see it's owner.

"Are you ok?" it asked.

Peyton's brain sent the command to look them in the eye and tell the lie – however obvious it would be – that yes she was fine. But her mouth couldn't form the words. Instead she only shook her head quickly from side to side.

"Did something happen?" they asked quickly, concern in the words. Looking back in the direction of the spot where they'd gotten the information. "I thought...did something change? What happened?"

Peyton again, didn't find her voice working to answer the question even to quell the other person's worry. Instead she returned her head to look down again, this time reaching into her pocket. She looked back up at her visitor, who now squatted down to be at the same level as Peyton, and held out the ring in her shaking hand to show them.

"I don't understand."

Peyton looked at it then back into the eyes across from her. Finally sound started coming from her. Her voice cracked.

"I did something."

-

-

-


	14. Center Of The World

**A/N: Alright trying to make up for the big gap with two in a short time! Woohoo! And because I actually have time and all that. And for the life of me I can NOT figure out this Renee chick. On the one hand she's an evil life destroying bitch, but every now and then she has the spurts of what look like guilt? Regret? I don't know. My theory is that someone is pulling strings I just can't figure out who. But trust me when I say me and mine have been bouncing around speculation like crazy looking for one that might make sense. Of all we've said there's only one that sort of does. Anyway, we'll know when Schwahny wants us to know....rambling and off the point. Sorry. Hope you like it.**

**-**

_0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

"_I went and looked her in the eye_

_And she turned me into sand_

_This clumsy form that I despise_

_It scattered easy in her hand"_

_ 'Center of the World'_

-Bright Eyes

_0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

-

He heard a soft knock and figured without looking towards it, that it was Brooke or Lucas again wanting more time to sit with her, wanting him to get air or coffee or food or something for himself. But Nathan had already pulled himself away for each of them and every time he had to step back for the now familiar faces who came about once an hour.

He'd figured out their pattern of arrival while he sat, his eyes shifting from Haley to the clock and back again during his time there.

"Nathan." a voice, he assumed the person that knocked, was one he hadn't heard that day until then. Turning his head enough to see the dark haired woman, his brother's mother, standing at the door. "Hi."

"Hi."

Taking his greeting as an invite, Karen quietly closed the door behind her and walked over. She stopped to stand across from him on the other side of the small bed. Looking down at the girl she'd watched grow up, the woman let out a slow breath.

"Oh my." she breathed out, light touching her fingers to unnecessarily tuck hair behind her ear; just needing something to do. Haley not being her actual flesh and blood child didn't mean anything, certainly didn't make it any easier. "Hi sweetie."

Nathan watched her from his seat and forced himself to ask: "Do you want some time alone?"

He was relectant to offer, not wanting to leave unless he had to, but he knew the two of them meant a great deal to each other. So he could make himself scarce from the room for a bit if it helped.

"No, it's ok." Karen answered and he wondered if he was that obvious in not wanting her to actually accept his offer. The older woman let out another slow breath and looked around the room before speaking to him. "This is all a little too familiar."

After a moment, Nathan nodded. It took him a second to realize what she meant until he mentally slapped himself. Lucas had been in a car accident last year. Of course.

"I'm sorry." he apologized, even though he knew it was no where near his fault and he had no control over the random happenings of the world. Regardless of that, he still felt he should apologize. "Are you ok?"

"I was about to ask you that question." she stated to the still sitting young man. "Lucas and Brooke filled me in on what the doctor said. Brooke told me about what happened on the trip."

Nathan nodded again and rubbed his hand over his jaw remembering the story the cheerleader had told him and then what the doctor had said to them.

"They say so far everything looks fine." he began, folding his hands together and the pulling them apart again. Looking at them and then at Haley. "They come back every hour to make sure everything is staying that way. They check her heart and brain. I keep waiting for something to be wrong."

"You can't think like that, Nathan." Karen spoke softly. "You said it yourself, everything's fine."

"So far." he added. "But they keep coming back to check. If she was completely fine, wouldn't they stop looking for problems?"

"They're being cautious." she tried to assuage his worry. "Just being safe. That's what doctors do. They go overboard with precautions and then charge you an arm and a leg for it."

Her small remark, meant to inspire the smallest lightness from him fell flat against Nathan.

"And then he said there could be nerve damage and surgery -"

"Nathan," Karen interrupted him, moving from where she'd stood to stand behind him on the other side of the bed. Putting her hands on his shoulders she spoke. "honey, look at her. Do you see? Haley's here. She's right here and she'll be fine. And if she needs some extra work or surgery, if there's damage, if she maybe limps for a while or forever, will that change anything? How you see her or how you feel?"

He shook his head, knowing it was the God's honest truth.

"I just can't stop thinking about how much worse it could have been. How close to...We've wasted so much time."

"So stop." she answered without missing a beat. "Just stop wasting time. It's that simple."

Simple? He didn't feel like anything was simple anymore. He knew what he wanted, he knew how he felt, but simple felt foreign to him. It used to be simple. It used to be the only simple thing in the world, he loved her and she loved him; simple. But then she broke him and anything simple or easy about it was gone.

"But what if - "

"What if the sky turns to fire?" she asked, interrupting him again then continuing. "What if an earthquake swallows the town? What if you get hit by a bus? You've got to _stop_ worrying abou the What If's. They will drive you crazy."

Karen moved from behind him choosing now to squat in front of him. He turned in his stool to face her and Karen put her hands on his knees. She made him miss his mother; the mother he wanted her to be anyway, that she used to be.

"You need to keep your mind on 'what is', Nathan." she spoke intensely. "What is, is you're both here and well and you have your lives ahead of you to stop wasting time. The _only_ concern you should have, as far as Haley's heart goes, is what you're going to do with it."

"Thank you." he said with a nod.

He stood up, as she did and gave the smaller woman a hug. She returned it, patting his back before letting go.

"You'll be ok, Nathan."

"Thanks." he said again, putting his hands in his pockets and looking at his shoes. He wanted things to be simple again. He wanted -

His head snapped up, a small moan reached his ears. He looked first to Karen, wondering if he'd been hearing or imagining things, but saw she too must've heard it. She was looking into the bed behind him. He looked too, and saw Haley. Her brow furrowed, turning her head to side to escape the direct light from the bulbs above her, letting out another moan as she did.

Nathan instantly let his weight return to the seat beside her. He felt Karen's small hand squeezing his shoulder again.

"Haley?"

-

_0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

-

"I did something."

Peyton announcecd tearily, still holding out the ring to be seen.

"Ok." she answered uncertainly still confused about what the girl was trying to say. Gesturing to the floor next to Peyton she asked. "This seat taken?"

Peyton looked at her a moment. Initial reflex was to deny her, but she couldn't keep it anymore. If she did she was sure to lose. So she shook her head. The older woman took the invitation and sat herself down on the tile beside her. After an awkward second, she spoke.

"So what brings you here?"

Peyton looked down and answered simply. "An accident."

"I know."

The teenager glanced back up and, upon seeing the suspicious darts shooting from her eyes, Ellie held up her hands in a surrendered gesture.

"I wasn't spyin gor stalking, promise." she informed. "I was already here, I saw Lucas in the lobby. I thought maybe something might've happened to you. Sue me."

"Don't know any lawyers." she answered looking away again.

"Lucky me." Ellie retorted. "I meant, though, what's got you on the floor crying holding some ring? You didn't get married did you?" she asked. "Is that the something you did?"

Peyton let out a bitter chuckle and shook her head.

"No." she answered, sniffling. "It's not mine."

"Alright." Ellie said with a sigh. "Look, I'm all for a good mystery, Peyton, but the cryptics won't get this – whatever it is – off your chest."

Glancing at her daughter who looked as if she were deciding whether or not to speak before apparently choosing the latter and looking once again down at what had to be the most interesting square of tile in the hospital. With the silence as her response, Ellie let out another sigh. Whatever it was about was seriously weighing her down.

"But," she began again, leaning her head back on the wall. "I guess you talking in riddles is better than you not talking to me at all. So ...I'll play along until you're ready. You're a pick pocket."

To her relief, the young girl let out a small laugh at the attempt and Ellie was glad. Then Peyton faced her, the smile lingering from the laugh with a new uncertainty and her voice completely serious.

"I can trust you, right?"

Now it was Ellie's turn to let out a chuckle. "Peyton, so far I've been on the wrong end of a losing fight trying to know your life. Believe any headway you give me is golden. So, yes, you can trust me. Absolutely."

Letting out a shaky breath, Peyton nodded. "Ok."

Her biological mother straightened in her seated position, bracing for whatever it was.

"See this ring?" holding it between her index finger and thumb. Ellie nodded her answer.

"The one that's not yours."

"Right." she began. "It's my friend Haley's."

-

_0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

-

"Haley?"

Karen spoke her name and he was grateful, unable to find his own working voice right then. It was another second , maybe two, and her eyes opened; closing again almost immediately to hide from the harsh brightness she wasn't expecting.

Then they opened again, more prepared for the light the second time. Squinting, her eyes slowly scanned her immediate surroundings before coming to rest on her two visitors.

"Hi." Karen spoke first with a relieved smile.

"Hi." she answered back in a half whisper, the tone sounding almost more like a question than a greeting.

"Gave us a little bit of a scare kid." Karen continued, stepping up to the bed and running a finger along Haley's hairline.

"Sorry." she answered, a fuzziness on the edge of everything. "What," clearing her throat, "What happened?"

"Little accident." the woman told her before teasing. "Still have all that natural grace of yours, huh?"

Haley returned Karen's smile with a small one of her own. She was always a klutz, some things never changed.

"But everything's fine." the woman assured. After getting a nod from the girl, Karen followed Haley's line of sight and looked behind her. She'd almost forgotten he was there, he hadn't said anything yet. But it seemed now his presence had registered in Haley's focus. Karen excused herself to leave them alone. "I'll go find the doctor."

After Karen's exit, a small stretch of silence landed during which Haley didn't look away from him, working her brain to process everything. It was a useless effort. She couldn't get past any thought other than him. He was there with her, his eyes held hers and she felt the familiarity and comfort of the stare.

"Hi." she said the small word again.

"Hi." he finally managed to find his voice.

She felt a little of her nerves settle at the sound of his voice. She let out a light sigh and actually felt herself smile a bit.

"I've wanted this for so long." she spoke, catching him and, honestly, herself off guard with the statement.

"What?"

"You being with me when I wake up." she elaborated.

"Oh." he let out a nervous chuckle. "Picked a hell of a way to get it."

"I'm sorry." she apologized, they'd been making progress slowly but surely without her pushing. The last thing their strange relationship needed was her putting pressure on it again. "I shouldn't have said that, I just...can we blame that on the drugs or something?"

"If you want." he offered; pausing a moment. "How do you feel?"

"I don't know." she answered. "Kind of...heavy? If that makes sense. Right now it kind of feels like my head is a lot bigger than it usually is." speaking awkwardly before asking. "What do you think? Does it look too big?"

Nathan surprised himself with an actual laugh at the question.

"No." he answered, touching his tongue inside his cheek as he grinned. "It's head sized. It's a good looking head."

She laughed a bit too before she was held in his eyes again. He looked away first, that stung. But she got it; she understood his feelings had changed while she was away. But they could still find their way back to each other again right? They were on the right road so far, or maybe that's just what she thought. Maybe this whole time she thought they had been getting closer to who they were it was really just him keeping things civil until the divorce could be pushed through.

A somber silence now and she felt the slightest tug of sleep pull at her. But she didn't want to. Not while he was there, she wanted the feeling of being with him, even if it was sitting in silence. Just for a little bit long, even if he didn't feel it the way she did. Laying down the pull would obviously become greater.

Flattening her palms against the mattress, she pushed off her hands, attempting to get herself into a sitting position. She stopped right away, wincing sharply.

"Careful." he was immediately standing over her. His large hands on her shoulders urging her gently to stay down. She breathed out slowly, feeling more embarassment than discomfort.

"Oh yeah." she tried to keep her voice light. "Hospital."

"Yeah." he agreed. "You want to sit up?"

Nathan took it upon himself to adjust the motorized bedframe until she was sitting up. He sat silent a moment watching as she adjusted as best she could and her features relaxed. He remembered the doctor saying she'd be pretty sore, making a mental note to ask Brooke about the bruises she was so concerned about. Nathan also knew from personal experience that trying to move around, even in a bed, with a knee on the fritz was a task he didn't miss.

"Is it bad?"

"I'll live." she shrugged then quickly. "Right?"

He couldn't help but grin once more, and nodded.

"Good. But I guess I kind of ruined the vacation plans, huh?" she mused.

"You kidding? As soon as Brooke heard you'd be alright I could practically hear her brain planning a 'Welcome Home' party or something."

He followed Haley's eyes to where she was, not too subtly, looking down where he'd absently put his hand over hers. Nathan hadn't even noticed he'd done it. He cleared his throat, looking at the same thing that held her focus. He thought about pulling his hand back; they were going slow. But he didn't. Karen's words in his head. Stop wasting time. He left his hand there, rubbing his thumb back and forth.

"What happened, Haley?" he asked, a safer discussion than the talk that he felt was begging to be had.

"I don't know." she answered, continuing when she saw his confused expression. She ran her hand through her hair with a sigh, wincing once as she found the dressed wound. " I don't know if it's the drugs or this maybe, " she gestured to the discovered mar on her head. " but I'm really not sure."

"That's ok, it happens." he suggested, he still didn't remember the details of what happened before his accident in Cooper's car. He remembered pressing the gas as hard as he dared and then some. He remembered he was thinking about Haley. But after that, it's being pushed down a hallway and begging Lucas not to call her. "What the last thing you remember?"

"Um." shrugging. "waiting for Brooke in the parking lot after school. You asked if I was going this weekend."

Nathan nodded, he remembered that too.

"That was Friday...yesterday." she wore a green shirt with a ridiculous rainbow on the front. Blue jeans. Her hair was down that day. "It's Saturday."

"Oh." she responded automatically. "That's different."

This time he consciously gave her hand a squeeze, knowing everything was probably feeling a little off-balance. After he felt her squeeze back, Nathan felt now was the time to say the things they needed to say to each other. The time for him to tell her all that he felt and all that he wanted. He was terrified, but he would force the words out.

"Listen, Haley - "

The door opened, halting his sentence and drawing the attention of both of them in it's direction and the aging man offered a smile as he entered the room.

"So the rumors are true." he greeted warmly. "Good to officially meet you Mrs. Scott."

Both of them flicked their eyes to each other at the use of the title. Haley quickly looked back to the man she assumed was her doctor.

"Good to be met."

"I'm Martin Asher." he introduced himself. "But my friends call me Dr. Asher. So feel free."

Nathan was srprised that it was the same guy who'd given such cold, hard math answers to them earlier. Talking to a patient he was someone else, it seemed.

"Sorry for the wait, it's a little crazy today."

"It's ok." she responded. "I'm not going anywhere, apparently."

Nathan heard the doctor chuckle at her response as was her intention he was sure. But the young man could tell she was nervous and a bit on the scared side.

"If you'll excuse me, Mr. Scott," Asher addressed him. "I'm going to need to borrow the Mrs. for a few minutes. But don't worry we'll get her back to you real soon."

Nathan nodded, looking then to his 'Mrs.' and speaking. "I'm going to let everyone know what's up. Try to talk Brooke out of anything too crazy for that big party in her head."

"Ok." Haley replied quietly. Then her body acted against her ind and held tight to his hand before he could leave. "Nathan...You'll come back?"

"Yes." he answered, his own voice betraying all the safety he'd built up since she returned to Tree Hill. "I'll always come back to you."

-

-

_**a/n: alright so we finally got some Naley interaction! Hope you enjoyed it and there is definitely more to come!**_


	15. Unstitch Your Mouth

**A/N: Yay! An Update! Double Yay for all that's happened on the show in the past two weeks! Renee's lying ass exposed and a hilarious hash adventure for Baley. There aren't a whole lot more chapters left for this ...i'm not sure exactly but I wanna say 5? maybe 6? or maybe 10 I don't know if I get the bug to add more. I know a few things I want to happen and exactly how it will end. But as far as any new developments in between, guess we'll see. I've got another fic cooking in my brain that i'm pretty into and will definitely be putting up as soon as this one's done. More on that when the time comes. For now...onward!**

_-_

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

"_You gotta kill your doubt_

_Tear it open and burn it out_

_I'll do what I can do"_

_ 'Unstitch Your Mouth'_

-Sparta

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

-

"Here."

Brooke glanced up from the spot on the floor she'd been staring at, hearing her boyfriend's voice. Lucas held out a styrofoam cup with steam rising out of it.

"Cream and sugar." he told her. "I'd have used some of that flavored cream you like but all they have is the powdered stuff."

"And what flavor do I like?" she tested him as she accepted the cup.

"Well that would be vanilla-caramel, but only when you can't find the chocolate-raspberry. Which is ridiculous because chocolate doesn't belong in coffee just like I tell you everytime you use it." he winked at her as he sat down in the seat next to her. "But your coffee secret, that you won't admit because it's just not Brooke Davis, is that there's a special place in your heart for plain old hazelnut."

He leaned towards her with a mock serious expression. "How'd I do?"

"Very good, boyfriend." she answered, smiling as she held the cup in her hand then leaned in to meet him with a kiss.

"Thank you, girlfriend." he answered when they broke apart.

Lucas leaned back in the chair, letting her lean against him as she sipped at the hot liquid. His light eyes scanned the area and he said aloud the thought that came to him.

"I haven't seen Peyton."

"She's here. Or she was. She's disappeared a couple times."Brooke paused a second. "You know, it's hard for her to be here, I get that. I understand that, and I understand her and Haley aren't exactly tight right now, but taking off?"

Brooke looked down to where Lucas held her free hand, their fingers laced together.

"At least be here with us, _for_ us." she shook her head slightly then tilted her head against his chest to look up at his face. "She can't not care."

"Maybe she just needs some more time." he offered, trying to assure her.

"No, Lucas," she sat up now and faced him in the chair, "I mean it's not possible that she doesn't care. She does, I know she does. In the car, she helped. A lot. I mean, she's the one who found her. When we were trying to take care of Haley, when we thought she might..." she trailed off, and added a new ending. "It was genuine."

"Well, maybe she's still around here somewhere." he suggested. "You know, and she's just scared or unsure about how to be here after everything."

He rubbed his palm on her back, Brooke finding the comfort in the gesture and in his words. She sat back again, leaning against him with his arm around her. She felt him place a quick kiss on top of her head and snuggled deeper into him. After a few quiet seconds, she heard him speak again.

"Maybe I should look for her."

"What?"

"Peyton." he elaborated, not seeing his girlfriend's eyes cast down at the word to play with the hem of his shirt. "Mayke sure she's alright. You know, she wasn't here when the doctor came out, she doesn't know how Haley is. That'll probably help."

"Oh, yeah." she replied, feeling uneasy about it.

But that was ridiculous, right? Lucas and Peyton were friends. That was all.

He cared about her the way a friend does. But his heart was Brooke's. He loved her, not Peyton. They loved each other and they were trusting each other this time. He wouldn't risk hurting her again.

Brooke did trust him. She did believe in him and his love for her. But she couldn't help but feel, still, the nervous insecurity rising everytime the two of them ended up in this situation; and it felt like it came every other day.

"Lucas," she started, wanting to talk about it. She knew being honest would help; be what made it ok. "can I talk to you?"

Her words pausing his actions as he was about to stand. Sitting back down completely, he faced her.

"Yeah." he answered. "Of course you can. What is it?"

"I love you." she started, nervously. Unsure of how to say it all, how he would take it. If he'd think it meant she didn't actually trust him. He chuckled, she loved the smile that came with it.

"I love you, too, Brooke. What's going on?"

"I-"

"Hey." a new voice interrupted her attempt before it could start.

The couple looked up to see Nathan in front of them, his hands in his pockets.

"Nate." Lucas stood in front of his brother. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," he nodded and let out a breath. "she's awake. The doctor's with her now."

"Thank God." Brooke spoke, standing as well.

"How are you doing?" Lucas asked him.

"I'm alright." he nodded again, then looked at them. "You guys?"

"Better now." his brother answered. "We were just talking..." he trailed off, looking at Brooke, remembering she wanted to say something and he got the feeling it was something important to her.

"It can wait." she spoke after a hesitant moment.

"Are you sure?" and his girlfriend nodded giving him a small smile. He made a mental note to bring up their almost conversation later. "Ok, I'll be back."

The two dark haired teens watched him exit the area and Nathan was curious.

"Where's he going?"

"Peyton." Brooke replied in a mumble.

"What?" he asked, not hearing her response.

"Nothing." she dismissed. "It's not important."

The younger Scott looked confused a moment and could see something was unsttling her. She still stared in the direction her boyfriend had disappeared in.

"Hey." getting her attention. "Are you ok?"

"Of course." she answered, attempting to sound honest. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Beacuse you're not." he told her. She shrugged her shoulders, they had been friends for a long time. They'd run in the same circles all through school, had somewhat similar versions of life throughout. "Maybe there's something bothering me." she confessed to him. "But it's not important compared to everything else, and on top of that, I'd rather not talk about it, so..."

The boy nodded, accepting it. Taking the chair his brother previously occupied, Nathan let out a sigh and Brooke approached hers and sat next to him.

"I saw Karen." he informed her.

"Yeah, I think she's trying to get in touch with Haley's parents."

"I, uh, I talked to her. She said some things," he began. "about not wasting time anymore."

"She's a smart woman." Brooke mused. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I was hoping I could ask you a question?"

"About Haley?"

"About Lucas." he corrected her assumption. "You can tell me to shut it if you want, I know it's touchy but...After what happened last time you were together, how did you..." he sighed trying to find it right. "...how did you know if you could-"

"Trust him?" finishing his question.

Boy, was this the wrong time for that question. She let out a sigh before beginning to speak.

"Nathan I...I don't know how to answer that right now." she replied, finding it difficult at the moment. She winced at the disappointment she saw take over his features. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "It's fine."

"But you and Haley are completely different." she added quickly, hoping her inability didn't hinder the chance at the married couple's reconciliation. She didn't want to be the deciding weight that tipped the scale over. "I mean, your situation is different. What happened-"

"It's ok Brooke." he stopped the rambling girl, "You don't have to."

She stopped speaking a moment, chewing on her bottom lip nervously while he looked down at his hands knotted together.

"I'm chock full of other great advice though." she had to make this lighter. Had to keep him from doing anything rash based on her. He wouldn't right? Their marriage, their love, it was way bigger than what anyone else could ever think. Too grand to be effected by the words – or lack thereof – of one person, right?

"No thanks," he responded with a grin. "But there's one other thing you can do for me though."

"Anything." she answered right away.

"You can tell me about today, yesterday, whatever." he suggested, it all felt like one big mesh of a day. "Like you asked about bruises, how'd those happen? Why did she leave? How long it took to find her. Just, I want to know all of it."

-

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

-

The story told, every dirty detail out in the open, Peyton waited for the woman to put in her criticism.

The older blonde let out a sigh and ran a hand through her hair.

"Wow." she spoke quietly. "That's, that's quite a story."

Peyton nodded and buried hands in her own light locks quickly, stopping the action when she noticed the similarities in the behavior.

"I know." then, the younger girl asked. "What do I do?"

"It sounds to me you're being way too hard on yourself." Ellie told her.

"Ok, were you listening at all?"

"Yes and I'll say the fighting and the whole things with the ring was...," she paused remembering she was talking to her daughter. Then remembering who Peyton was, she was grown, she was real, Ellie finished what she started to say. "..well, bitchy. But the rest of it, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault."

"But if I hadn't done those bitchy things it wouldn't have happened." Peyton theorized.

"Maybe. But then your friend could have been in the car and could've been hurt worse."

"Or we could have pushed the car until it wasn't stuck."

"Or you could all be dead." Ellie returned right away. "Peyton if you want blame so bad, take it for what you actually did, not what you're imagining is your fault. If anybody gets the blame, it's the jerk that drove away and left you guys there."

"When they find out they'll hate me." Peyton speculated her fear.

"If you think that's true, then do a preemptive strike." she suggested, elaborating after getting the confused look. "Don'te let them find out; tell them."

"Right. Just say 'Sorry I accidentally almost got your best friend killed, or your wife. I didn't mean it. Still friends?" Peyton scoffed and shook her head. "Yeah, they'll love me."

"But if you don't and they find out, then they'll know you were hiding it. _That's_ what'll make them angry or upset with you. It was an accident, Peyton." she reminded her. "You weren't trying to hurt anyone."

"But I was." she admitted. "Maybe not physically, but I knew the way I was acting was hurting her. All this time, but that's why I did it. And I knew that that stupid thing with her ring would crush her. But I did it anyway. So maybe I didn't intend for her to get injured, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to hurt her; the way people who leave hurt the people they leave behind."

Ellie got the distinct feeling that it was just Haley she was talking about now. The people who leave.

"Listen Peyton -"

"No!" she interrupted and stood up from the ground for the first time in what felt like hours. Her left leg was asleep but she didn't pay attention at the moment. "I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this. You know what? It's _your_ fault."

"Excuse me?" Ellie now stood and scoffed. "How do you figure that?"

"Because...Because ever since you showed up I've been this-this bitter, ugly person." she explained. "_You_ put me here. _You _did this."

"I know my appearance has caused you some trouble, made you call your life into quesiton." Ellie admitted. "And I take responsibility for that. And I can see you're looking for a way to deal with this. So I'll even let you pawn it off on me for now, if it helps. But you now that won't work for long."

Peyton stood firm despite the fact she knew the woman was right. She said nothing. Ellie sighed once more at the silence.

"Have a nice Christmas, Peyton. Talk to your friends."

Then she left.

-

-

-


	16. Time To Talk

**A/N: Nothing to say really today. This isn't long but it's setting up for the next one! Alrighty-tighty, here we go. Hope you like!**

-

* * *

"_You say to me_

_That things have changed_

_I look in your eyes and know_

_Things will remain the same"_

_'Time To Talk'_

-Open Hand

* * *

-

The tall boy had been walking and searching through several indentical looking hallways for a few minutes. Longer than he thought it would take. Eventually, however, he found the familiar form of Peyton Sawyer pacing the width of one particular corridor.

She was wringing her hands and walking nerviously back and forth. Lucas approached, his voice seemed to have surprised her out of her head. Whereever she went in there, it had totally engrossed her apparently.

"There you are." he said as greeting, closing more hall space between them. He gave her a quick hug; this being the first time he'd seen her since arriving after her cryptic, fearful phone call.

"Lucas." she said his name, still sounding a bit surprised. She half-heartedly returned his embrace.

He pulled away and glanced down, noticing the wrapped bandage on her limb.

"Ouch." he commented after seeing it. "You ok?"

"What?" she asked before figuring out what he was talking about. "Oh, yeah. It's fine." she paused and took a second before asking. "How's Haley?"

"She's awake." he answered. "There's a whole bunch of medical this and that, but the short version is she'll be fine."

The blonde girl let out a breath of relief and leaned back against the wall.

"Good." then "What are you doing here, then? Shouldn't you be with her, or Brooke?"

"Brooke is kind of worried about you." he told her, tilting his head slightly. "Me, too."

"I'm fine." Peyton tried on a smile wondering how transparent it looked from his side of things. "Nothing to worry about."

Lucas let out a dry chuckle that gave her the impression he didn't by any piece of it. He rubbed the back of his head, a habit she noticed he developed after he shaved his hair last year. The hair had long since grown back in, but the action remained nonetheless.

"Come on, Peyton." he responded, putting his hands in his pockets. "You don't have to lie to anyone. I mean we're all here right now. Literally. So why don't you tell me why you're hiding from everyone in corners and hallways."

She opened her mouth, but the lie she'd plucked from the air failed her; refusing to come out. Instead, Peyton closed her mouth and thought about her conversation with Ellie. The girl knew it was ridiculously wrong and unfair to try to pin what she'd done on her birth mother. Peyton didn't actually blame her for this, not at all, she just didn't like how much sense she was making.

"Peyton," his voice getting her attention again. "are you really ok? I know..." he paused. "I know your mom died here. Is that what this is about?"

"No." she shook her head and took a deep breath. "It's about me, Lucas. About what I did."

"Did?" he repeated. "I don't get it, what'd you do?"

"Ok." she voiced and stood away from the wall, standing straight in front of him and admitted. "Ok, I need to tell you something. And when I do, you'll know why I'm hiding here; why I can't be around Brooke or Nathan. And when you hear it, you probably won't want me around you either."

"Peyton." he said her name with a dismissive grin. "Come on, what could you tell me that would do that?"

"It's about today...yesterday." she told him and took another nervous breath to steady herself and force out what needed to be said. "I need to tell you what happened before the accident."

"Ok." he said uncertainly. "Well, Brooke said-"

"No, Brooke didn't tell you this. Just...Just let me say it ok?" she interrupted and got a nod from him. "The reason Haley took off in the storm, the reason she ended up getting hurt...it was me."

-

* * *

_-_

Nathan and Brooke stood waiting outside the specific room in silence. After hearing all the details the girl could give, Nathan had a better, grittier understanding of the whole ordeal. He hated that they all went through that, but he hated more that there were still blanks in the story.

But he'd been grateful to Brooke for sharing all she could and subsequently went about assuring her none of it was her fault. Explaingin to her that convincing Haley to go on the trip didn't do this; she would have come anyway. That the bruises she felt guilty about giving her saved her life.

Now they were standing outside the empty room, the door to it between them as they both leaned against the respective walls on either side of it, waiting for the doctor to bring her back from the x-rays. The young man glanced sideways at the girl. He could tell whatever was bothering her was no little thing, it was something real. And by her reaction to his quesiton, he got the idea it involved her relationship with his brother.

Looking away from her, he laid his hand flat against his chest, feelin the hard bulge under his shirt. His wedding ring hiding close to his heart. He looked towards the floor and broke the silence with a confession.

"I don't want to waste time anymore."

Brooke was almost startled by his voice; neither had spoken in a few minutes. She had been lost in the surrounding sounds and carried away by her own thoughts. After he spoke, she turned to look at him. His words went towards the floor, but they were spoken to her. While she glanced at him, he picked his head up to face her.

"But I'm scared."

"That you'll get hurt again?" she surmised; already prepared to speak up about knowing her roommate would never do anything to jeopardize their marriage again.

"Not really." he replied, taking a breath; preparing to admit what he'd been keeping to himself for a quite some time now. "I mean, a little, I guess, yeah. But I know how much Haley wants us again. I know how much it would mean to her. I know she won't risk it again."

"Then what is it?" she asked, moving now to lean beside him on his wall. "What're you scared of."

He cleared his throat and looked down again speaking quietly. "Me."

Nathan raised his eyes to hers and saw confusion in them.

"Say we get back together, I'm worried...I'm scared that I'll always keep what happened there with me. That, maybe, I'll never be able to really let it go and I'll always be holding it against her and punishing her for it."

"You wouldn't do that." she argued. "Nathan, that's crazy."

"Is it?" he asked. "I mean, look at my parents. Almost their entire marriage is like some sick contest about who can do more damage to the other. Even now, my mom wants out but Dan's punishing her by refusing to let her go. Holding on just so he can torment her some more." he stood a little straighter though still leaning on the wall. "I dont' want that to be our future. I don't want to be a guy that could do that to her."

"Nathan, it's not your future. You are not your father and Haley, most definitely, is not Deb Scott." she assured putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing. "For starters, you guys actually love each other."

"Well so did they once." he replied. "Until something happened that turned them into what they are now. What if this, the tour, Chris, what if it's that something for me and Haley?"

As he voiced his fears, he remembered Karen's words regarding all his 'what if' worries and mentally apologized for doing it again. He just couldn't help it.

"Nathan," she began after a beat of silence and sighed. "what you asked me earlier -"

"It's alright, Brooke." he told her. "You don't have to-"

"No, I do." she interrupted. "I said, I didn't know how to answer, but what I should have said it I _can't. _I can't answer it, because, really, I don't know. You know, there wasn't any specific incident or conversation we had that did it. I guess, I just...I saw his heart and I trusted myself that what I saw was real. Does that...kind of make sense?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Makes sense."

"I do that sometimes." she smiled.

"Wonders never cease." he teased earning him a playful shove.

A few seconds later and the teens saw the familiar doctor coming towards them, walking alongside the bed as it was being wheeled in their direction. He was speaking to his Haley, saying something to his patient that then made her laugh.

Nathan couldn't hear what was said that was so funny, but he heard the sound that came from her. Her laugh invaded him and inspired the familiar flutter inside him it always did. He couldn't help but smile in response.

"Hey there, Tutor Girl." Brooke greeted. "About time you came back."

Brooke stepped up and took her hand for a moment before letting it fall away as they pushed her into the room.

"Hi Brooke." she had said in the short interaction. It wasn't much, but it was one of the greatest things Brooke had heard since the whole mess began.

Nathan moved to enter the rom after them and paused, looking at Brooke.

"You coming?"

"No, I can wait a little longer." she gave him a knowing smile. Yes she wanted to see her and sit with her and talk with her; but she wanted the two to have the time together. Especially after her talk with him. "Nathan," she spoke before he could enter. "look at her heart. All your answers are there."

Nathan entered and sat next to the bed while they listened to the doctor explain everything. Good heart rythym, no sign of any neurological damage, no nerve or vessel damage in her knee. They would schedule a surgery to repair the ligaments that were torn. Asher assured them that it was relatively normal with knee dislocation. The surgery would be the next day and afterwards she'd stay in the hospital for another day or two. Theny they'd be referred to a physical therapist she would need to begin seeing regularly.

Nathan took it all as good news. He felt on of the boulders he'd been carryin around fall off his back. He looked down at his wife once the doctor left them alone.

"You ok?" he asked, putting his hand over hers, intentionally this time.

"Yeah." she gave him a smile. "You know, just wondering how this will affect my basketball career."

He let out a chuckle. "Don't worry, you'll be as good as you ever were."

"That's too bad." she joked back.

"Yeah. You kind of suck don't you?" he teased.

He waited a moment, letting everything be as light as possible for a little bit longer. Then he cleared his throat and spoke, feeling nervous again.

"So I guess...we should talk."

She nodded; they hadn't really since she'd been back. Not completely. Not getting down to the bottom of everything.

"Yeah. We probably should."

-

-


	17. Angels Or Devils

**A/N: A few thoughts, then I'll leave you to it. **

**First : This whole _Just about everyone's leaving TH_ thing that's going on has brought about 2 theories from my mind grapes. 1St: Either something major's gonna happen that'll stop them all from splitting (my money would be something involving JimJam). 2Nd: Marky Mark and the powers that be are stringing up a safety net in case the worst should happen and we don't get a season 8. Like at the end of 6 when the season finale felt like a _series_ finale with everyone getting their happy endings. **

**Second: In 3 words – LET. HER. DIE. Awful? Maybe, but at this point Millie and even Julian can follow her right to hell too.**

**XX**

**In this chapter I'm doing the infamous OTH flashback story telling, so when you see the X's that's when you insert the whooshing sound and the whiteout to the past and back.**

**And i'm off.**

**-**

**-**

* * *

"_The angels they burn inside for us  
Are we ever, are we ever gonna learn to fly  
The devils they burn inside of us  
Are we ever gonna come back down, come around  
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold"_

_'Angels or Devils'_

-Dishwalla_  
_

* * *

-

He tore through the room, not pausing or giving a care as to the mess he was making. Upon entering his house, he'd sprinted upstairs without bothering to even close the front door and went straight to his room and the closet inside.

It wasn't there. Logic told him there was really no where else in his room it could be hiding, and that he knew for a fact where he had left it; but he trashed the place anyway searching. It wasn't exactly like it could be hiding in a drawer, but he pulled them out anyway.

Once the place looked like a hurricane and a tornado had teamed up with an earthquake to destroy it, he finally let his brain have a say in what was happening. Dan.

Stepping out into the hall, he started towards the master bedroom to find his father but stopped when something caught his eye on the floor. He hadn't noticed it before in his rush to his room the first tim he'd come through the hallway, but now he bent to pick it up. Reading his own handwriting.

_Dream Always._

**XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX **

"I used to have this dream," he began looking down at his hands a moment. "right after you left, every night for weeks. Where I told you if you left we were done and I walked out, just like it happened. And then I'm running back to the apartment, just like it happened."

The expression on her face was something of what he expected. Unless Taylor told her, there's no way she could have known he'd come barrelling back to their home after walking out. He continued after revealing the little secret to give her the rest of the story.

"But in the dream, I get back in time to catch you before you can leave." he looked into her eyes, seeing every important piece of the world looking back at him with a familiar shine over the surface telling him there were some tears being born. "And I take you in my arms and I tell you I'm sorry. That it's ok to go and that I'll be waiting when you come back...and that I love you."

He sighed and looked back down as he unknotted his fingers and then entwined once again before returning his gaze to her.

"Then you leave, but it's different...because I know you're coming back. Then I wake up."

"Nathan-"

"I'm sorry." he interrupted, wanting to make sure he got everything he needed out before he lost his courage and hid it away again. "Trying to force you to pick between us and your dreams. It wasn't fair and I know that now. I mean, having both was possible. It didn't have to be one or the other. But what ...what hurt the most, Haley, was even though _I_ know I didn't mean it when I said we'd be over, _you _didn't. And you left anyway. Believing that leaving would end us, you left."

"I'm sorry." she said, feeling like since she'd got back it had just been one apology after another. "I felt like, I couldn't risk _not_ going." she answered, knowing she would need to explain the strange statement. "Once it was out there, and you said what you did, I knew staying meant I would always wonder. You know, what could have been. And I was scared that I'd maybe someday resent you because of it. I loved you too much to risk that."

"But you risked an ultimatum?" he asked. "That doesn't make a lot of sense."

"I know." she answered. "Walking out that door, leaving everythin there, Nathan it was the most painful things I've ever done. But a part of me knew you couldn't have meant what you said. That when you saw how well I did, if I did, maybe you'd get a chance to know how I feel."

"How you feel?" he repeated. "When you play?"

"No." she shook her head, brushing her fingers under her eye to wipe away the moisture there. "When I see you play." She sat up a little straighter, as much as she could, and continued. "When I watch you play basketball, and you're away from anything that bothers or hurts you, nothing can touch you because you're in a world that you love. You're doing something that matters to you and you're great at it, and _everyone_ sees it and is thinking just that. How amazing you are. You have no idea how incredibly proud I am of you."

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders a little bit, not knowing how to explain it really and he looked down a bit with a shy grin at her words. The arrogance about his skill was for everyone else, when the praise was from her it was something different.

"It's overwhelming. I thought...maybe this was my chance to make you feel that way; to be proud of me. I wanted to make you proud and I ruined everything."

Nathan looked at her with disbelief before he spoke his own words.

"You think I wasn't proud of you?"

**XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX **

Putting the note in his pocket, Nathan continued towards the master bedroom which he found to be vacant. Furious, he marched downstairs, prepared to storm the house to find his father, and the dealership or the entire town if that's what it took.

But it turned out that it wasn't. The moment his foot stepped off the final stair, he heard his father's voice.

"There you are."

-

* * *

-

Peyton sat on her bed, staring at the unfinished sketch in front of her. The curly haired star of most of her work and the tall, shaggy boy who'd made many guest appearances in her drawings over the past year or so. This was the first time, however, she'd put him in a picture in a while though. Not since she made one of him and Brooke shortly after their reconciliation. But now here he was again.

And there she was standing with him. The two figures surrounded by the setting of the hospital corridor where the conversation had taken place. A speech buble over her replica with three words printed boldly in it : _IT'S MY FAULT. _Then another attached to the little Lucas. Empty. She hadn't filled it in yet. Didn't really want to. But regardless of that fact, she brought her pen towads the paper anyway. Her mind returning to the moment as she began laying down the ink.

**XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX **

"The reason Haley took off in the storm...it was me." she confessed and looked at him a moent. "It's my fault."

Feeling slightly better she had to remind herself that there was more to say. She would say exactly how it was her fault; what she did. Holding her own hands and wringing the fingers a moment, she prepared herself for it as Lucas let out a sigh and spoke before she did.

"I know."

"You..."she repeated, this wasn't how she expected it to happen. Hugging herself, she hesitantly looked at him. "How?"

"Brooke." he answered.

"Brooke?" she repeated him again. A confused parrot.

He put his hand on the small of her back and started guiding her towards a pair of chairs nearby. Had they been there the entire time? And she'd been sitting on the floor?

"You weren't around when we showed up. But Brooke told us what happened. We know you and Haley had a fight and then she took off."

"What?" she asked, standing up straight again, realizing what he was talking about just as her body had bent to sit in the chair. "No, Luke, you don't understand. That's-

"I think I do." he spoke up. "Maybe not completely, but I know you feel guilty about it. You probably think if you guys hadn't fought this wouldn't have happened." she opened her mouth and barely made a noise before he continued. "I know things haven't been great for you lately. Your dad's away again, Jake leaving, Ellie showing up. And I know you were pretty upset by the way things went down with Nathan and Haley, too."

"Lu-"

"And when she came back, she was the easiest target for you to take it out on. Right?"

"Well..yeah. But-"

"But you didn't mean it." he continued, apparently refusing to let her speak a word about this. "I know that. You were hurt, you're still hurting a bit and you don't want anyone or anything to be able to do that to you anymore. But it's ok to let some things go, Peyton. Ok? Letting go, it doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're strong enough to move past it. Forgiving people, forgiving yourself. Forgiveness does great things for everyone involved. Was a time we were begging for it, remember?"

"Of course." she recalled and took a breath. Remembering all the ugliness that had transpired when that all went down.

"Now." he began, laying a hand on each shoulder. "I'll tell you what I've told Brooke about eighty times by now, and what I'll most likely tell her another fifty before she starts believing it: It isn't your fault. The accident was just that: an accident. Hear me?"

The courage she'd managed to scrounge up moments ago seemed absolutely no where near her anymore. She only nodded and he smiled.

"And I don't want to hear anything else about it, got it?"

"Got it." she answered after a hesitant moment, trying her best to mirror his smile.

"Good." he said with a nod, still smiling. "Because it's over. Everyone's fine. So what's the point?"

**XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX **

Her hand stopped, the scratching noise of the pen halted and Peyton took a look at the finished product.

New words now in the space previously empty by the boy.

_I KNOW._

With a sigh, she tossed it, hearing it his the floor somewhere in the direction of her closet. Falling back, she flopped down onto her pillows and stared up at the ceiling. Speaking to the room.

"What's the point?"

-

* * *

-

"Hey you."

Haley looked up from the magazine and saw her roommate entering, carrying with her a small stuffed bear.

"Hey, Brooke." she greeted with a small smile, happy to see her though it wasn't who she was expecting.

"I got you something." she said, holding out the animal which Haley accepted with a chuckle. "I would've got you something more impressive but the whole rent thing came up again this month."

"Weird how that keeps coming back like that." Haley joked back.

"Tell me about it, plus that budget you got all planned out doesn't really have a category for get well gift shop trips."

"Well, I guess I'll fix that first thing."

Brooke gave her a smile and then picked up the discarded magazine. Flipping through it's glossy pages without actually looking at anything.

"Catching up on your gossip..."the closed it and looked at the cover. "...from 2001? Nice. Want to make a bet on who stays together?"

Haley gave her another small laugh, knowing already it was full of dead and gone celebrity romances and scandals.

"Actually, I'm just trying to distract myself and let time pass. Waiting for Nathan to come back – _if_ he comes back."

"What happened?" putting aside the magazine and any more jokes or comments at the serious turn of the conversation.

"We finally talked: about Chris, me leaving, me coming back; the whole dirty mess."

"How'd that go?"

"Ok, I thought." looking down at the bear in her lap. "I thought we were getting somewhere and then he just got up and said he'd be back. Practically ran out of here."

"How long ago?"

"Almost two hours." she sighed after looking up at the clock.

"Well, if he said he's coming back, he'll be back. You know there's still a lot of snow on the ground so going anywhere right now is sure to take some time." suddenly she smiled and perked up. "Ooh, I bet he's getting you a present! Probably something less fluffy and more on the shiny, sparkly, jewelry related side."

Haley laughed at the instant excitement coming from the brunette. That sort of hyper energy was the reason she'd earned the nickname Haley had given her.

"Easy, Tigger." she suggested with a laugh. "I don't want jewelry."

"What?" Brooke asked, standing up and making like she was going to the door. "Alright, I'm getting the doctor. He clearly missed some type of brain damage."

Again the bedridden girl laughed at her friend's antics. "Brooke, stop. Sit down."

"No, this is an emergency." she stated with a straight face and played the joke a moment more before coming back to her seat.

"Alright." Haley began. "How about, I don't want him to think he has to get me some. Is that better?"

"Barely. But I'll allow it for now." she replied. "Anything from your parents?"

Brooke saw the quick change that flashed over the girl before she broke eye contact to hide it. Brooke wondered if she got the same look when her parents were mentioned. Probably.

"Yeah." Haley finally answered. "Karen finally got them. Somewhere in Montana."

"Are they...?"

"Coming?" she finished. "Yeah. Said it'll be a day or two. Airport there is grounded, I guess there's a blizzard or something and they can't drive down right now."

"At least they're coming though right?" she asked, trying to lighten it.

"Yeah. Merry Christmas." Haley muttered then shook her head having better things to talk about. "Listen, Nathan, he told me what happened. Or what you told him anyway; he wasn't there obviously. But he told me that you guys found me, that you took care of me. Saved my life, basically."

Brooke looked away for a moment, uncomfortable by the praise she was getting. The story he'd told her obviously didn't have the gritty unpleasant parts she'd included when she told him.

"I know it doesn't exactly even out, but thank you." Haley said genuinely. "I don't know if it's possible, but I'm going to find a way to make it up to you, pay you back."

"Haley, that's ridiculous." she told her. "It wasn't something that needs a reward or payback. And it definitely wasn't as grand or heroic as you're making it sound. I was terrified the entire time. I was a crying, panicking mess. Not some brave collected savior. I could have, I _should_ have done a hundred things differently."

Haley gave her a smile and put her hand on hers. "He told me you'd say that."

"Smart guy." she commented. "His tutor's rubbing off on him."

"What about Peyton?" she asked, taking Brooke by surprise.

"What?"

"Nathan said he hadn't seen her and she was out there with us."Haley elaborated. "Is she alright?"

Brooke took a slow breath in through her nose.

**XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX **

"Thank you." Brooke spoke politely, as the cashier handed her the change and shook his head with amusement as she took hold of the greatly oversized stuffed animal.

She took a second to look it over, smiling widely at the ridiculous bear; a large black bear with a heart between it's hands with white stitching that read _"Get Well Beary Soon." _It was terribly cheesy and she knew Haley would love it.

Grinning at the looks she got from lugging the huge toy down the halls and the chuckle that came from the orderly when she entered the elevator with him.

"Impressive." he said after a moment as they started the ride up.

"It sure is." she smiled. "But what do you think of the bear?"

Earning a laugh from him as the moving room stopped and the doors parted. The girl happily made her way down the halls. Remembering, though the bear obscured some of her vision, what turns and halls to take to get to the room where Naley had, hopefully, finally reconciled.

Adjusting the bear a bit for a better sight, she turned the final hall, where 2312 was supposed to be. But as the animal moved from her eyeline, she saw she wasn't in the correct hallway. And that wasn't the only surprise she found.

Brooke froze in her steps. Down the corridor, her boyfriend stood with her best friend. Trying to tell herself it was ok, it was nothing; friends.

But all she could focus on were his hands on her shoulders. An innocent touch, but she couldn't help it. And not being able to hear what they were saying didn't help.

Trust. Trust him.

_I do trust him. He loves me. I trust her. She wouldn't. They wouldn't._

Her mind's attempt to calm her was smothered out by her heart when she next saw him give her a smile – she loved that smile – then pull her into a hug. Witnessing the embrace, her hands went slack; the novelty bear hitting the floor softly, not really having that far to fall anyway, it was barely held up from the floor. Feeling her eyes burn, Brooke turned and left the area. Following the signs to take the correct twists and turns until she reached the elevators and noticed, for the first time, the large number 3 next to them. She'd gotten off on the wrong floor.

She heard a voice once she stepped into the small box.

"Going down?"

"Yeah." she answered, pressing her fingers against her eyelids to stop the tears before they escaped. Then looked at the woman sharing the space with her. "I, um, I need to go to the gift shop."

**XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX XX **

Now on the right floor, in the right room, Brooke looked at the small bear her roommate held and answered the question.

"Peyton's fine."

-

-

**a/n – not what you wanted? Not what you expected? Well there's a plan in motion here and I hope you stick around to see it unfold. :) **


	18. Stories

**A/N: Yay for updates! And another yay for less than a week until the return of new episodes! Anyway, here we go! I wasn't lying before when I said it's almost done, it really is. I have a few things I want to happen before I bring it to my already planned conclusion, but knowing what points I want to hit doesn't stop my crazy flow from producing more than just that while I travel to get to those places. Anyway, here's hoping you're still here, still interested, and still liking what's coming your way.**

**-**

**-**

* * *

"_I remember the way you made me feel when I'm with you_

_ I remember the smile that always brought me back to you."_

_ 'Stories'_

-Trapt

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?"

The angry voice of Brooke Davis assaulted him as he came towards the familiar setting. She stood outside the room, cell phone in hand, not paying attention to the large object he carried.

"Nowhere." he answered, not wanting to rehash the fresh argument he'd gotten into with Dan. In the end it resulted in the pristine wrapping he'd been so meticulous about now wrinkled with a small tear in one end.

"I've been trying to call you." she informed him, before he could ask she went on. "While you were off _nowhere_ there was a cancellation or something, I'm not sure exactly, but the point is they moved Haley's surgery up."

"What?" he responded surprised. "When?"

"They're getting her ready now." she answered. "That's when."

Nathan knew it was nothing major; the surgery. It was fairly simple, just repairing damage and that was that. But he still wanted to be there for her; knew she was probably nervous or scared regardless of any assurance that there was nothing to worry about.

He stood the box on the floor and leaned it towards Brooke without a word, who accepted it while he moved past her to the door. As he reached for the door handle, the barrier opened. One orderly pulling the foot of the bed, the doctor pushing the head, saying some complimenting words about the surgeon who would be taking care of her. She saw Nathan standing there and noticeably brightened.

"Nathan." she smiled and he took her hand right away. "You're here."

"I'm sorry." he apologized. "I'm so sorry. Brooke tried to call but I guess I left my phone at the house when I went."

"It's ok." she shrugged a bit.

"Sorry son." the older man said. "You're goin to have to wrap it up. The surgeon's waiting."

"Yeah, I just," he started, looking at Brooke who held the gift he'd brought for her. "I wanted to give you something, but I guess," looking at the doctor than back at her. "it'll wait 'til you're done."

"Sounds great." she answered, feeling immensely relieved now that he was back.

She'd been scared about it when they told her they could do it that night. She wanted Nathan to be there, but agreed anyway. But now he _was _there. So it was ok. Regardless of the unsure ground they were on; it was always better when he was around.

"But," he started quickly, almost rambling as bad as she did. He started patting his pockets until he found his wallet. "before you go, I just, I want to show you something."

"Just a second." he muttered to himself, opening his billfold and searching through cards and pictures and receipts; tossing them to the floor.

"Mr. Scott-"

"Just a second." he repeated louder, then finally found what he was looking for.

He put the folded piece of paper in her hand and spoke as she confusingly opened it to see a printed photo and article about her and the tour.

"I was hurt, Haley. But there was never a moment I wasn't proud of you."

"Nathan." she breathed his name in disbelief, smiling as tears shined her eyes. "Thank you."

He leaned down, accepting the paper back from her, and kissed her forehead, whispering to her hair:

"I'll be right here."

Brooke stood back, smiling with her arms around the gift he'd left with her. She waited while he watched his wife disappear down the way.

"So..." she started slowly, getting his attention. "what'd you get her?"

He chuckled in response rather than answer, then knelt down to pick up everything he'd emptied to the floor. She continued, this time with more excitement.

"Come on, I want to know. I knew you were off getting something and being all romantic for Naley's big reunion. So what is it? Too big to be jewelry?"

"You'll just have to wait 'til she opens it." he answered, standing straight again.

"Oh come on. There's already a little rip here, it's practically open already, so you might as well tell me."

Nathan felt his smile falter a bit at the mention of the rip; reminding him of his argument with Dan. The real reason he'd taken so long to get back. Dan telling Nathan he was acting like a fool. That his father only had his best interests in mind. Back and forth. It ended with Nathan literally ripping the gift out of his hands and the now less than perfect wrapping.

"Hey."

He was pulled from his thoughts by his brother's voice as he appeared with them. He looked to his girlfriend and indicating to the box she held, asked "Is that for me?"

"Depends." she replied. "Those for me?"

Lucas looked at the flowers in his hand and grinned.

"They're Haley's." he answered.

"Well, then this is too." she joked.

Lucas let out a chuckle and pulled a rose from it's hiding spot behind the bouqet and handed to her.

"But _this_ is yours."

"Aw." she accepted smiling. "But this is still Haley's. Your brother got all giving in the spirit of the season." she explained, allowing Nathan to take it back from her.

"So what's going on?" Lucas asked.

"They got an opening, so she's having the surgery now."

"That's great. It means this'll be over that much quicker." Lucas replied to his brother while laying his arm across Brooke's shoulders.

"So," Brooke began uncertainly. "where've you been?"

"I gave Peyton a ride home." he answered. "I figured you'd be wanting to visit with Haley before you left, so figured it'd give you a good amount of time."

Brooke only nodded at the answer. Feeling the flower in her hands, she was mentally screaming at herself to stop it. These fears and worries were unfounded. He was here, not with Peyton.

_But he was with her._

He gives flowers to her, not Peyton.

_As far as she knew._

"Hey." Lucas started. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just, I'm tired." she answered. "Can you take me home?"

"Of course." he answered, handing the flowers to Nathan. "Don't take credit for these alright?"

"No promises." he returned. Brooke then gave him a quick hug and requested:

"Call me when she's out."

"Yeah."

Walking away from him, Nathan got the returning feeling that Brooke's concerns weren't entirely for what had happened on the trip. There was something else bothering her, and he could bet it had something to do with his brother.

-

* * *

He pulled his car to a stop in front of her apartment building. Lucas turned off the engine and sighed before looking over at the girl in the passenger's seat.

"You're quiet." he pointed out, breaking the silence.

"Tired." she answered, then looked out the window up at her apartment door. She didn't make any move to go up. Or to leave the car at all.

"What's wrong Brooke?" he asked. "Are you ok? Your head hurt?"

"No, my head's fine." she answered, fingering the bandage before looking at her lap, then up at him. "My heart though...not so much."

His eyes widened a bit at her response.

"What happened?" he asked, seeing her hesitation to answer. "Brooke?"

"You." she answered. "You happened Lucas."

"I don't under-"

"Or you're about to." she elaborated. "Lucas, I love you. I love you so much."

"But?" he asked, terrified where this was going. "Brooke, I ...did I do something? Just tell me and I promise it'll be ok. I promise."

"I love you, and since we got back together, you know these past months, I've never been happier." she stated, feeling the tears begin.

"So what's the problem?" he asked, barely keeping the shake from his voice.

"I'm not sure how to say it." she answered, looking down. "I guess, all I can think to say is...if you're planning on breaking my heart again," looking back up at him. "could you just do it now?"

Lucas was speechless. He had no idea what brought this on. His mouth went slack as he searched Brooke's eyes for some clue. When he found nothing, when he said nothing, his girlfriend wiped a tear and opened the door, exiting the car.

When it closed, he snapped back, realizing she had left.

"Brooke!" he shouted, following her out of the car.

Catching up with her just outside the door; calling out to her the entire time. After finally meeting up, he tried to continue the conversation.

"Brooke!" he spoke again. "What's going on? I'm-I'm not planning to break your heart. Why would I?"

He followed her inside the apartment.

"Please, tell me what this is about." almost yelling in desperation.

"You...and Peyton."

"What?" he asked in disbelief. "Brooke, there is no me and Peyton. We're friends."

Brooke still hadn't turned to face him despite his words. Seeing this, he turned himself around and shoved the still open door of the apartment shut roughly. After it slammed into the frame, he put his hands on his hips and looked down at the floor. A painfully silent moment hungin between them and then he spoke tightly.

"How many times have I apologized for what happened?" he asked, directing the question to the floor. Then he looked back up in Brooke's direction. "How many _more_ times do I have to? I have apologized over and over. I have done _all _I can to prove that-that I'm not that guy anymore." he attempted to calm down, shouting wouldn't resolve this.

He took a deep breath and spoke in a quiet, collected voice as he took steps towards her. "Brooke."

She didn't respond; still showing only her back though he saw the familiar action of wiping tears.

"Brooke, look at me." he waited until she obliged before speaking again. "Brooke I _love_ you." he stated passionately. "You, not Peyton. I thought we were past this. We were trusting each other and leaving all the ugly stuff behind. What happened? Why are you doing this?"

"I saw you guys in the hospital." she told him. "You were hugging and I just-"

"Brooke, it was nothing like that." he defended. "She was upset, feeling like it was all her fault. I was making her feel better and then I took her home. I was comforting her like friends do. If you saw me hugging Haley-"

"You can't compare the two. You've never -" she cut herself off. "I'm sorry. And I know it's a friends thing. In whatever tiny smart part I have in my brain, I know that. But when I saw you, when I see you like that, I couldn't hear that part of me. All I could hear was the lies and all I could see..." she held back a cry.

"Brooke, I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am that I put you through that; that I make you feel that way." he spoke, genuinely, puttin ghis hands on her shoulders and looking directly into her eyes. "But it's nothing you ever have to worry about again."

"How can you be sure?" she asked. "You changed your mind about me. How can you know you won't do the same with Peyton? You were pulled to her once. Something about her, it could still be there."

"But I've never completely embarassed myself for her." he answered. "I've never announced to our entire graduating class that I was the one for her."

Brooke couldn't help but smile at the memory of the beach party.

"I've never agreed to nonexclusive dating just so I could spend any small minute with her. And I've never, ever, bought those unmentionable things in aisle twelve for her. I've never gone down that aisle for anyone."

That made Brooke let out a laugh.

"Except you." he continued, smiling at the sound of her laughter. "I've done all those things for you. And I'll do them again and again and anything else you need, or want because you're it for me." he moved to hold her hands now. "I mean every word I'm saying to you. I mean everything I've ever said to you about this and about us. I love you, and as much as it kills me to say these next words I have to. I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me. I mean, it was understandable, but at this point, ...I can't spend a relationship defending myself against imaginary crimes."

"Lucas," she began after taking in his words. "I do trust you. I know you love me, and I love you too. But, I can't...I can't help these stupid insecurities, and I hate it. I _hate_ how it makes me feel. I hate how it makes me act."

She shook her head and pulled her hands away to cross them over her chest.

"I know I'm getting in my own way; but I don't know how to stop it. And I'm scared. Scared I'll do something stupid someday, something irreversable and you'll finally see the truth about me."

Lucas stepped closer, rubbing her arms.

"What truth?" he asked, never hearing any sort of talk from her before.

"That I'm not enough." she answered, feeling the wet drops slide down her cheeks. "Not smart enough. Not ...just not good enough for you."

"Hey." he put his finger under her chin and guided her gaze up to him. "You listen to me and you listen good, alright?"

Brooke nodded and waited for whatever he was about to say.

"You are...amazing." he told her. "You are smart, caring, so incredibly brave. I _have_ seen you; seen the truth. And everytime I look, I fall in love all over again."

Brooke gave him a smile despite the tears that fell.

"Do you believe me?" She then nodded.

"Yes." sniffling. "Yes, I do. I"m sorry about all of this. I just, some stupid little thing happens that shouldn't mean anything but it does; and what we have, the way you are, it's so good it's hard not to seem make believe."

Lucas laughed a bit and pulled her into his body for a hug. Holding her in the embrace, he rested hi schin atop her head and let out a breath of relief at the feel of her in his arms holding him tightly in return.

"Can we put this behind us now?" he asked.

"Yeah." she whispered into his chest.

"Good." putting a kiss into her hair. "Because what we have isn't make believe. This is as real as it gets, I promise you. And I have no intentions of changing that."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Now let's get you into bed." he suggested and felt her laugh in his arms.

"Only if you actually mean to sleep." she replied. "Too tired for anything else."

"Good thing I did mean sleep or I'd be a little disappointed."

"Will you stay with me?"

"Forever." he answered, though he knew her question was about staying for the night. He didn't care. "Come on."

-

* * *

Awkwardly in the chair; slumped down leaning on his fist, his elbow propped on the arm of the chair with his long legs stretched out onto the floor in front of him...he slept.

At least until his elbow slid from it's position and his head dropped. The sensation of it falling woke him quickly with a small jolt to his adrenaline. He wiped his face and took in a waking breath.

Looking to the right of his seat, Nathan saw Haley looking back at him with a small smile.

"Smooth." she commented teasingly.

"You like that?" he asked rhetorically, then stretched the kinks he already felt from his slumber.

"You could've gone home to sleep." she told him. "You know, in a bed. You didn't have to stay."

"I wanted to be here when you got back." he told her. "How long have you been awake?"

"A while." she answered. "About the time Karen brought that."

Nathan followed her gesture and saw two cups of what he assumed was coffee as well as a large takeout bag. Enough food for two no doubt. Nathan sent a silent praise to the woman and grabbed one of the cups. He took a sip and instantly grimaced.

"Cold." he explained.

"Well, I said it's been a while."

"You could've woke me." he told her to which she shrugged.

"I've been sleeping plenty," she answered. "figure it was your turn."

"True." he stood from his chair and stretched. "But...the sooner I woke up, the sooner you get this."

"That's right, you got me a present." she replied. "What is it?"

"Open it." he told her, bringing it over, laying it across her lap when she sat up.

She took in it's size and wondered what it could be before pulling away the wrapping. The long box shaped give revealed a plain rectangular box.

"The shape would've given it away."he explained, watching anxious forher to see the actual gift inside the cardboard.

She proceeded to lift the lid off and he took it from her while she looked at it's contents.

"Nathan." she breathed, seeing now that the shape of the actual gift would have most definitely given it away.

"Go ahead." he urged her on.

If the look in her eyes he'd just received was only from the case, he couldn't wait for the rest.

"The guy at the music shop said it was the best they had." he explained as she undid the clasps and opened the hard case. "You know, I don't really know this stuff, but I told him the kind of songs you play; had him listen to one. He said this was the one."

"It's beautiful." she replied, admiring the brilliantly polished wood. "You shouldn't have."

"Do you like it?"

"Of course I do. I love it." she closed the lid back and down and Nathan too the guitar off the bed so he could sit on the edge.

"Good. It comes with a catch, though." he relied, laying his hand over hers. "You have to keep your old one. I don't know if you were planning to or not, but you should keep it. It's got stories in it."

"Yeah, a lot of bad ones." she replied.

"And some great ones." he defended. "And...all those stories, you know, good and bad, they're all part of _our_ story. And, um, I'm not ready for our story to end. I want us to keep writing it...starting now."

"Nathan..." unsure if he was saying what she thought he was. "are you -"

"I want to be your husband again." he stated. "Haley, I want to live together. Wake up together, fall asleep together...all of it. Better and worse. Just as long as we're together. That's all that I want. All I've ever wanted and all I'm ever going to want. Always and forever."

-


	19. In Praise Of The Vulnerable Man

**AlN: Happy to hear you guys are still here and that some aren't quite ready for this to end yet. :) Thank ya. Also happy at the response for my new baby **_Angels With Dirty Faces_**. Pop in and give it a read if you get the chance. And yes, I'm shamelessly plugging on fic in another fic. Alright, onward and upward.**

_-_

_-_

* * *

"_This is in praise of the vulnerable man_

_Why don't you lead the rest of your cavalry home_

_This is a thank you for letting me in_

_Indeed a praise of the vulnerable man."_

_'In Praise of the Vulnerable Man'_

_-_Alanis Morissette

* * *

-

Brooke looked around the room taking all of it in; everything looked great. Perfect, in fact. She took into account the seemingly random placement of balloons that were actually, in reality, strategically placed. Organized chaos, and it worked masterfully. She stood under the banner Lucas had hung up just before he left, centered over the counter so the message would be the first thing seen when anyone came through the door.

She nodded toherself at the progress of the area then pulled a chair to one corner to begin the process of hanging the streamers. The girl was standing up on the seat, reaching up towards the ceiling when she heard the chime above the door telling her she had a visitor. Karen had closed the place for the day, there was the sign on the door to ensure everyone knew that fact. So anyone who came was someone involved in the party, or possibly someone who couldn't read and noticed the door was still unlocked.

Before she could turn to see who it was, she heard his voice directed at her.

"Haley hates pink."

Brooke turned her head around sharply to see Nathan standing there.

"What?" she asked, looking away from him and then around at all the pink and purple decorations she and Lucas had been spent more than an hour putting up in the cafe. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah." he said with a small nod. "Something about her sister, Quinn, always dressing her in it and making her pose for pictures." he relayed one of the many facts of her he'd learned since they'd met.

"But..." Brooke again scanned her eyes over the room and gestured at it. "It's so pretty this way." she heard Nathan chuckle, obviously amused at the situation. "Great. Nothing says 'Welcome back from your almost death.' like a room full of something you hate."

"Relax." he answered. "I'm sure she'll love the fact that you did it for her. Well, unless..."

"Unless what? It can get worse? What'd I do?" she asked, scanning the room. The DJ area was set up, food snacks Karen had taken care of courtesy of the cafe the party would be in, drinks that weren't booze – again thanks to the cafe owner who would be attending and certainly wouldn't approve – and people were going to supposed to start showing up in half an hour. What else had she done wrong?

"You don't have a clown that's gonna jump out from behind the counter, do you?" he asked, jokingly looking behind the counter top."

"I might not have known the pink thing, but I do know _some _things about my strange roommate." she said after sighing a breath of relief. "Trust me, the only clown showing up today is Tim."

She tossed the pink streams in her hand at Nathan, who caught it, then picked up a roll of purple instead.

"So," she started, looking at Nathan expectantly, "are you hear to tell me something?"

"About what?"

"Whether the plan is to kick or clean." she elaborated as if that told him everything he needed to know, when in fact it only confused him more.

"What?"

"Please. Last time I saw you guys together at the hospital, it was totally obvious the rough patch was successfully smooth again. The way I'd say it went down is: You declared your love the second you got the chance, no doubt with that adorable 'always and forever' Naley trademark, and then the two of you sealed the deal with a kiss...possibly heavy petting." she explained, then continued. "And with a Naley reunion comes the end of the Baley living arrangement."

"Baley?"

"Which means you're here to either kick me out of the apartment and reclaim the place, christening every room, _or_ you're cleaning out my former roomie's things to go make a new lovenest somewhere else."

Brooke took in air, having revealed most of her detective skills in one breath.

"So, again," she started. "kick or clean?"

Nathan sighed and put his hands in his pockets.

"Neither."

"Neither?" she asked confused. "You're here to ask me to live with you guys? Alright, but I'll tell you right now, I won't do threesomes unless the focus is on me."

Nathan laughed at the response and shook his head. "I'm here to help set up."

"What?"

"Set up." he repeated. "For the-"

"No, shut up. Go back." she demanded. "What's going on with you and Haley? Last time we talked about it, you said you were done wasting time. I figured that meant you'd-"

"It did." he answered. "It does. And you were half right in what you said earlier."

"Which half?"

"I did talk to her, said everything I wanted to say; everything I felt." he told her and sighed. "I told her I loved her and I wanted to be her husband again....and she said no."

"She what?" not believing it. "I'm going to have a word with that girl. I swear, I'm gonna snap her other -"

"Brooke, Brooke, calm down." he told her as she actually started walking as if she were leaving.

"But why would-"

"It's ok." he told her.

"No. It's -"

"Just listen."

**XX XX XX XX XX XX XX **

"What do you mean?" he asked, shattered by her response. "You don't want-"

"No." she immediately stopped his train of thought. Reaching out and holding on to his hand. "It's not that I don't want it. God, all I've dreamt about is you saying those things to me. And I'm definitely not saying I don't love you."

"I don't understand." he told her. "What _are_ you saying?"

"I'm saying, when we're us again, I want it to be for the right reasons. Not because you got scared." she told him.

"That's not why."

"Nathan, I know you. Right now it's all so fresh in your mind." she told him. "You're focused on what happened and what could have happened. I don't want you to do this because you're afraid the chance may not be here tomorrow. Because when the fear or adrenaline dies down and goes away after this, what will you feel? I don't want to almost die or something everytime you don't trust me."

"So what?" he asked. "What does this mean for us? What do we do?"

"We come back. The right way." she told him. "We can start by you being my date to Brooke's inevitable party."

Nathan smiled and grabbed her hand with both of his. "Haley James, are you asking me out?"

"Yes sir."

"I'd love to."

**XX XX XX XX XX XX XX**

"Wait, so you guys are, like, dating?" she asked and he nodded. "But you're married. You're dating your wife?"

"Yeah." he said, then couldn't help the smile. "I'm dating my wife."

"That's crazy."

"I'm actually kind of excited about it. You know, we'll get to know each other all over again."

"Yeah, well, you're crazy too."

-

* * *

-

Two quick knocks on the door before it opened and Lucas popped his head in.

"Decent?"

"Always." she answered, sitting on the bed in her fresh clothes.

"And forever." Lucas said in a deep voice mocking Nathan, earning him a playful slap on the shoulder. He laughed. "Hey!"

Haley returned the laugh at the blond who had brought her the clothes to change into. Lucas then gestured to the wheelchair he'd brought with him.

"Your chariot my lady."

"Well thank you sir." she returned in her best British accent and was scooting towards the edge of the bed while he brought it close.

"I don't have to pick you up do I?" he asked squinting his face.

"No." she laughed at him. "Just come here."

Lucas stood next to the mattress while she manuevered her legs to be over the edge. The right hanging like it normally would, while the left remained straight out, thanks to the hard brace she'd be living with for the next few weeks. Scooting closer towards the edge, she put her hand on Lucas' shoudler for leverage, planning to use him as a crutch to keep from putting any weight on the left leg. As soon as she touched him, however, he turned and scooped her up into his arms.

"Lucas!" she squealed at the surprising action. "I said you didn't have to."

"I know." he told her with a shrug as he carefully adjusted his hold on her; wanting to make sure he was helping and not hurting, he wasn't sure exactly where the bruises were that Brooke had told him the story about.

"Fine., just don't drop me again."

"That was one time!" he defended, "And it was like four years ago. When will you let that go?"

"Three years and never." she answered. "You dropped me! On the Rivercourt, of all places."

"Well I think I'm a little stronger now, plus I doubt Skills is going to throw a water balloon at me in the middle of the hospital."

She laughed at the memory. A much younger Lucas trying to prove to her that he didn't have skinny arms like Taylor said by picking her up. Too bad he hadn't known Skills and Fergie were in the middle of a water fight and decided to Lucas and Haley should be a part of it.

Despite the joking, she could tell how careful Lucas was being and she trusted him completely. He set her down in the chair and helped her settle her leg into the extended horizontal stirrup.

"Comfy?"

"Like sitting on a cloud." she sarcastically remarked about it.

"Well don't get used to it." he told her. "It's only until we get downstairs, then it's all about these."

He patted the set of crutches as he laid them across the handles of the chair.

"Yay."

"They show you how to use them?" he asked.

"Yeah." she answered. "The proper technique."

He nodded and looked at the clock. He'd left Brooke at the cafe about an hour ago to come here with his mom after first stoppin by the apartment to get some clothes for the girl. Now they were just waiting for Karen to finish with her discharge papers. Haley had called her parents the day before last, telling them she was fine and not to risk travelling in the snow. Just to come when they got an easier chance. So without them, and for some reason Nathan wasn't the one who was picking her up, Karen had guardian rights. The James' had set that up legally a few years ago, in case anything happened while they were away.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked sitting on the bed next to her chair.

"What?"

"Why am I picking you up?" he asked. "Why not Nathan?"

She gave Lucas an abridged version of the conversation. Stating that they talked and she told him that it wasn't right for them to just jump back into their old lives again. Leaving out the last part of the talk that had them agreeing to see one another. She kept that part to herself, for some reason it just seemed like it would be fun to mess with Lucas a little bit once she told him she had a date to Brooke's party.

"Man, Haley." he replied to the news that she and Nathan weren't back together, and that it was her choice.. "That's...unexpected. Why wouldn't you...-"

"Lucas," she started. "do you remember when we were kids; that time your mom was gardening and we were running around your house and knocked over that vase she liked?"

"Yeah."

"We didn't want to get in trouble so we put it back together real quick with glue before she could come inside."

"I remember." he recalled, not sure what that had to do with the conversation they were currently having.

"Do you remember what you told me after I pointed out the cracks in it?"

Lucas took a second to bring the entire memory back and recall his words.

"You only see them because you know they're there. If you don't know, it looks fine."

"Well that would be me and Nathan. We'd get together, we'd look alright, but the cracks would still be there. Just because other people couldn't see them doesn't mean we couldn't."

"Alright, I just want you to be happy, you know that?" he told her. "Both of you. And you're happiest together."

"Well, we may not be together like we were, but we're still in each other's lives." she smiled and spoke. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"I have a date tonight."

"Wha-" his mom opened the door and came in cutting off his shocked expression.

"Ready to bust out?" she asked.

"Hell yes." Haley announced. "Did you get what I asked for?"

"Yes, ma'am." she told her. "It's at the house."

"Great!" she replied and began wheeling herself for a second before Lucas took over and pushed her.

"Wait, you're coming to our house?" he asked.

"Yeah." she told him, looking ahead as they moved through the hall towards the elevator. "You're mom's going to help me get ready for my date since I'm all gimpy and Brooke's busy."

"You keep saying date."

"Because I have one." she answered. "Pay attention Luke."

"I don't like this." he told her. "But for now, I'm just going to nod my head."

They entered the elevator once it arrived. When Karen pushed the button for the ground floor Haley spoke up.

"Wait," she instructed. "I have to go to the billing office first to work out a payment plan."

"No you don't."

"I really do, they told me-"

Karen held out to Haley one of the many pieces of paper she held. The girl looked at it and the her eyes widened. Even though there were parts of it that had been scribbled over and hidden underneath black marker, she could still tell what it was as Karen intended her too.

"This is a receipt." she observed.

"Yes it is."

"You didn't-"

"Don't worry about it." Karen replied, having covered all the numbers with a sharpie she had in her purse after getting the receipt. "All done."

"Why did you do this?"

"You now why." she answered.

"You know why." she answered. "You're family Haley James Scott."

"Not according to insurance." she remarked. "Karen I'm not covered. That means you paid-"

"Don't think about it." she told her, looking over at her son who smiled back at her with a look of admiration in his eyes.

"But the surgery and the stay...physical therapy alone costs-"

"Don't think about it." she said again. "It doesn't matter."

"You shouldn't have done this." she told her. "I have some money saved. I've got some from the tour."

"Haley." Karen said in a warning mother's tone. "Think of it as a get well soon present."

"But..." she stopped and finally said. "Fine. But I'm working for free for the rest of my employment."

Haley was suddenly thankful that policy made her use the chair to leave. Sitting in front and below them made it easier to wipe at the grateful tears Karen inspired. Regardless of her "family" status, she still couldn't believe she'd actually done that for her.

Once they finally got to the house, Haley grunted, emerging from the car before Lucas could have a chance to help her do so.

"Where are we doing this?"

"Bedroom." Karen answered, walking ahead to open the door while her son kept his pace with Haley.

"I don't like this." he whispered to her as she hobbled slowly up the walk.

"You said that already."

"It was true the first time too."

"Lucas," she started, focusing on taking steps. "it's alright."

"You're going out with someone who's not your husband after spending all this time trying to get him to take you back. How is it alright? You know he's going to _be_ at Brooke's party right?"

Haley didn't say anything, just focused on hoppin gup the few steps of the porch to his door. He kept his hand on her back, guiding her, ready to help her if she needed it, then stopped by the door when Haley went in to have a word with his mom.

"You're alright with this?"

"I am." she answered, walking inside and leaving a confused Lucas behind her.

A while later, Haley stood looking at herself in the mirror of the master bedroom. She ran a hand down the front of the dress, smoothing out an invisible wrinkle. On another occasion, she would have been more confident with her appearance. But today, instead of takin gin the way the dress fell or the earrings Karen lent her or the way her hair fell injust the right curls, all she could pay attention to were the stupid crutches she was stuck with.

Karen came up behind her, putting her hands on her shoulders.

"You look beautiful."

"Wait 'til I hit the dance floor." she remarked jokingly, trying not to show the insecurity she began to feel. But it came through when she asked, "Do you think he'll like it?"

"Definitely." Karen answered. "And just so you know, I think what you guys are doing is great."

"You don't think we're crazy?"

"No." she answered with a smile. "And I do love how you're tormenting Lucas with this...Just a little."

"Good, 'cause I kind of am too." Haley answered.

The girl then manuevered herself to turn around and face Karen, giving her as much of a hug as she could manage. She heard Karen's small noise of surprise before she returned the hug.

"Thank you." Haley said quietly.

"You're welcome." she answered. "But I should thank you. I never had a daughter to help dress up."

"No, I mean thank you," Haley repeated, then. "for everything you've done; everything you've ever done."

Karen only smiled, feeling the sting of tears approaching and, rather than risk a breaking voice, she nodded to the girl and hugged her again.

-

* * *

-

Lucas sat in the living room, bouncing his leg. He didn't know how this was going to play out. He didn't know what Haley was thinking by doing this. What he did know was she probably wouldn't be happy with the fact he'd called Nathan as soon as she disappeared with his mother into the room.

He told his brother what was going on, hoping he'd talk some sense into his wife. To his surprise, Nathan said he knew; said they talked about it and agreed it would be good for them. Lucas hadn't believed that. Despite what Nathan said, he thought this would all come to some grand attraction at the party.

A knock came on the front door and Lucas got up to answer it, hoping it was Haley's date so he could at least get a look at this guy if not just knock him out right away. But instead, he saw Nathan standing there.

"Nathan." he stated. "I knew you weren't ok with this. You guys need to talk."

"Where is she?"

"She's-"

"Right here." Haley announced, now in the room in the party appearance his mom had helped her with.

Lucas braced himself for the tension and argument. He looked between the two of them, preparing to step in the middle if he had to back Nathan off. This flag began to raise a little higher as his younger brother took a few steps closer to her and she used the crutches to take her own steps.

"You look amazing." Nathan finally spoke, breaking out in a grin.

"Really?" she asked as if she were surprised to hear it. "Even with my training wheels?"

"Amazing." he repeated. "Ready to go?"

"Absolutely."

The blond looked back and forth between them before finally asking: "What's going on?"

"Oh, sorry." Haley apologized. "Lucas, you know my date, Nathan, right?"

She laughed a bit as she took in his face at her words. Nathan then took his turn and spoke to his brother.

"Dude, isn't your girlfriend waiting for you at a party or something?"

Haley laughed again and Nathan helped guide her out the door with his hand on the small of her back. On the porch, they paused their movement, and he looked up at the sky before looking over to her.

"Ready?"

"I don't think I've ever been more ready for anything." she answered.

"Me either." he relied with a smile. "Let's go."


	20. Signal Fire

**A/N: Alrighty, I think this was actually a pretty decent update time? Maybe? Anyway, here we go with another chapter. I know you guys are waiting for a fullout Naley reunion, does that happen here? I don't know, do you? Does anyone? Well, yes, I know the answer. Anyway, I keep saying this is almost done and there's only a few to go and all that, but I'm gonna say that again. Because we _really_ are getting close to it. I mean it. Oh well, from some reviews I'm getting, I'd say some people are totally fine with me being a liar about this...either way, it's time to jump back into the world of our beloved characters.**

**p.s. I love Snow Patrol. Like really really, I think it's unnatural how much I love their music.**

-

* * *

"_In the confusion and the aftermath_

_You are my signal fire_

_The only resolution and the only joy_

_Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes."_

_'Signal Fire'_

_-_Snow Patrol

* * *

-

"Ready for this?" he asked as they approached the cafe, already able to hear the noise coming from the business. It seemed odd to Nathan that they were doing this at the cafe rather than Karen's more appropriate business setting at Tric, but Brooke assured him it was to keep it from getting too crazy. In a club setting the crowd could easily end up getting out of control and that was something everyone wanted to avoid. "It's not too late, you know. We could still ditch."

Haley let out a laugh. "Trust me, the moment the idea for a party forms in Brooke's mind it's too late to ditch."

Nathan nodded and continued to pace his walk alongside her, then laughed to himself as a thought suddenly came to him. "Do you realize this is the second time Brooke's been in control of our first date?"

"You're right." she said with a smile. "Promisee you won't act like an ass when your friend's show up this time?"

"If you promise order me a dinner from the adult menu." he replied. They laughed at the recollection of the events of their first date that seemed like it was much farther in the past than it actually was. "Seriously, though, if you're not up for this you know Brooke will understand."

"I know, and thank you for worrying, but really, I'm fine." and she looked at him curiously when he smirked at her.

"Pretty high on yourself." he told her. "Going around telling people you're all fine."

She smiled at him and his throwback as he held the door open for her.

"That line work on all the girls?"

"I can think of one."

They entered the crowded cafe and immediately received a large shout of "Surprise" from the crowd. Brooke instantly appeared and gave Haley a hug.

"TutorGirl!"

"Hi, Brooke." she replied somewhat confused. "Brooke,, _you_ told me about the party. Why yell surprise?"

"Well what should they yell?"

"How about nothing?"

"Haley, you have to yell something when the guest of honor shows up." she stated as if it were obvious.

"You really don't." she said, unable to help the smile while she shook her head to dismiss it. "Thank you, Brooke. I love it."

"You do? Really?" she asked. "Even with the pink?"

Haley laughed and looked around, noticing the decorations for the first time. "Even with the pink."

"Awesome!" she clapped, "Now, excuse me."

Brooke walked away from them and through the crowd, coming into view again when she pulled herself up onto the countertop.

"Alright, everyone!" she started, speaking loud enough to quiet everyone down. Once all attention was on her, she addressed the room.

"Now that the gimpy object of our affection -" winking at her roommate as she said it. "- is here with her...date, it's time to go over the party favors and fouls."

"This should be good." Nathan said into her ear, earning a giggle from his date.

"First and foremost, and I mean it, this is the _most_ important one...the name Chris Keller is a _major_ party foul." she declared. "Do not ask questions about him. Anyone heard uttering that name will be booted right away. Nothing related to those two awful words will be spoken. And if you're name is actually Chris you better come up with a nickname now because there is no exception."

Haley forced a laugh. Brooke's speech, while entertaining, had made her a little nervous. She didn't know when, if ever, that wouldn't be a sore subject. Feeling an arm wrap around her shoulders, she looked over at Nathan. He was listening to Brooke and laughing as she continued to list off her do's and don'ts. Seeing him at ease with it, Haley felt immensely relieved herself.

There was a unanimous groan when Brooke stated it was a "Booze Free Bash" Stating that it was bad form since she didn't want to be responsible for mixing alcohol with any drugs Haley might be on. There were some more laughs and a few playful jeers as Brooke rounded up the last of her rules.

"Alright, I think that about does it. Everyone understand?" she asked, "Good. Now without further delay, Mouthman will turn on some music and we'll kick this party right!" she announced with a shout and the people around them cheered and Brooke quickly added. "Except Haley who can't really kick so.." she playfully winced as she said the joke to Haley.

A short time later, Lucas finally arrived ast he party was in full swing despite the lack of alcohol. The music played loudly and he stepped through the doors of his mom's cafe. It took only a moment for him to find his girlfriend talkin to Bevin.

"Hi Lucas!" Bevin announced happily when she saw him come behind Brooke.

"Hey Bevin." he greeted, snakin ghis arms around Brooke's waist and kissing her cheek. "Hey you."

"Hey back." she answered turning around to kiss him more properly.

"I'm not interrupting any official cheer business am I?"

"You joke, but actually yes." Brooke said which surprised him.

"Really?"

"Yeah, we're talking about who's gonna replace Haley since she can't cheer."

"No, Bevin." Brooke said in a warning tone. "What did I say?"

"Right, right." the blonde started. "Um, fill in for. Not replace."

"Because?"

"Because...you don't like that word?" she said uncertainly, obviously not knowing what she was expected to say.

"Because whoever we give the spot to is only temporary." she repeated what she'd already told the girl.

"Right!" Bevin agreed. "Because when Haley's better she'll get her spot back."

"That's right." Brooke told her with a nod of approval and grabbed Lucas' hand to walk away with him.

"Wait, Brooke!" Bevin said before her captain could get far. "If Haley can't kick, what routines are we gonna do? They all have kicks in them."

"Bevin I meant..." she cut herself off with a sigh, accepting her friend for who she was; meaning constant misunderstandings. Smiling Brooke simply stated, "I'll worry about that. You enjoy the party."

Lucas and Brooke walked away, shaking their amused heads. He allowed her to take him to an uninhabited corner of the cafe. She leaned her back against the wall and pulled him towards her. Indulging in one another a moment in a shadow of the party, blocking it out comletely. After a few moments she spoke.

"I missed you." she told him, even though he'd seen her earlier that day. "What took you so long?"

"Just talking to my mom." he told her. "Most about how mean she is."

"What?"

"Nothing." he told her with a dismissive smile. "Just a joke she played on me."

Brooke didn't know what he was talking about but she kissed him anyway. Then grabbed his hand again.

"Come on." Leading him to the lounge area where Nathan and Haley sat talking with one another.

"Look who it is." Lucas announced his presence as he took a seat, pulling Brooke to sit on his lap. "How's your date?"

"You're not mad are you?" Haley asked with a small laugh.

"No." he replied. " I get it, you and Mom working together to mess with me."

"It was fun." she said as her reasoning. "Forgive me?"

"I don't know." he pretended to think. "Revenge is so much more fun than forgiveness."

After pretending to consider it another second, he finally decided.

"Ok." he spoke. "In the spirit of the season. I forgive you, and you never bring up the Rivercourt drop again."

He held dout his hand as he offered her their deal. She laughed and reached out to grab it.

"Deal."

"Great." Brooke spoke up. "Whatever that was."

"Rivercourt drop?" Nathan asked Haley quietly.

"Later." she promised; he nodded.

"You alright?" Nathan asked her when she glanced around the room. "Your knee bothering you?"

"No, it's fine." she told him, trying to rid the worry. Thankful as she was for it, it was unnecessary.

"You want another soda or something?"

"Uh, yeah." she answered, figuring if she gave him something to do he'd ease up on worrying a little bit. "Thanks."

Nathan rose to get her one and Brooke immediately spoke up.

"No, Nathan." she demanded. "Party foul. Nathan weren't you paying attention? Naley doesn't lift a finger at this party."

"It' s just a coke Brooke." he said, walking away to get it.

"No, ask someone else-Nathan!" Brooke got up as well and followed him. "If you undermind my authority as party ..."

His girlfriend's voice faded into the crowd as she followed his brother off towards the drinks, no doubt continuing her argument the entire way. The duo left behind laughed at the spectacle as they disappeared. Lucas looked over and Haley after a moment and noticed she was looking around again. He scanned his own eyes acrosst he party. Taking a guess at what it might be that she was doing.

"It's a lot of pink, huh?"

"A lot of pink." she agreed with a smile, remembering Lucas was there with her.

"But that's not what's bothering you." he noted aloud. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just...Have you seen Peyton?"

"Um...not today." he answered, then realized silently, _or yesterday._ "Why?"

"I haven't seen her. At all." she told him.

"Well I know she's been taking what happened pretty hard." he told her. "Apparently you two had some big fight before you got hurt. She feels guilty."

"Well you know as much about the fight as I do." she stated, "I I wish she'd talk to me, at least. Let me know if I'm still her least favorite person in town or not. But Brooke told me that she-"

"Luke!" a voice called out from the crowd. The two halted their conversation and turned to see Vegas breaking through the group. "Yo Luke! You gotta come see this dumbass tattoo Tim got." he declared then remembering Brooke's rules, her husband's teammate looked at her and asked. "How are you Haley? Do you need anything?"

"No." she laughed then looked at her best friend. It was clear to her that Lucas really wanted to go see, but didn't want to leave their conversation and leave her alone. "Go."

"You sure?"

"Go." she said again with a smile. "Just tell me how stupid it is."

"Alright." he gave her leg a pat as he stood up and rushed away.

Haley chuckled at him and shook her head at the unbelievable childishness of her friends. It was exactly what she needed, what they all needed. She happened to look over towards the window pane on the front door and caught the sight of the blonde girl walking away from the building.

"Peyton?" she asked out loud to herself for some reason.

Grabbing her crutches, she let out a small wince as she moved her leg from it's position laid out on the coffee table ahead of her and got up. Manuevering her way through the people carefully but quickly as possible, a lot of them adhereing Brooke's party rules and asking her what they could do for her. Finally the only thing she needed was someone to open the door for her. Once outside, she looked both directions and saw Peyton up ahead moving quickly along the sidewalk.

"Peyton!" she called as she began to follow in her direction as quick as she could manage. "Peyton!"

She cursed to herself, it taking more effort than she'd imagined to try to hobble after the girl who wasn't stopping.

"Peyton, wait!" she called, finally seeing the figure stop moving.

Peyton halted her steps as she reached her car. She'd had to park there, most of the parking spots closer taken up by the party's inhabitants. She was stupid for even considering going. That thought only taking control of her brain once she was at the door and could see them. Lucas and Haley on the couch talking about something. She'd watched for a second before leaving. It was the first time she'd actually seen Haley since she'd gotten wheeled away upon their arrival to the hospital days ago.

Swallowing hard, her back still to the girl who'd seen her and tried to folllow her. She contemplated just getting in her car and driving off but instead took a breath and turned around. Peyton than took steps back in that direction, it making more sense if she covered the distance than standing there and waiting for the other girl to do so.

"Hey." Haley greeted, finally able to stop. Peyton noticed her heavy breathing at the work she'd done trying to catch up with her. Looking down and away for a second, Peyton let her voice enter the air.

"Hi." she answered. "What...What are you doing?"

"Playing soccer." Haley answered sarcastically. "I saw you leaving, where are you going? Why didn't you come inside? I know, um, I know Brooke would like it if you did. She's not the only one."

"I'm just gonna go home." she replied. "I shouldn't have come."

"No." Haley suggested. "I wanted, I was hoping we could talk. You know I haven't seen you since we got back from what I'm told is the worst road trip ever."

"I know." she answered, putting her hands in her jacket pocket. Feeling inside them, she recalled it was the same coat she had in the car the last time she was with the girl in front of her. "I figure it's for the best."

"The best?" Haley repeated surprised. "I don't understand. I mean, I didn't think everything would be fixed or that we'd be great friends again right away but I thought...I guess, after what Brooke told me, I thought it would be a little better. You know we could at least talk to each other again."

"What'd Brooke tell you?"

"That you found me; that you saved -"

"Haley stop." she instructed, interrupting her. "Just...Just stop. Forget it."

"Well I already did, so there." she said, trying to joke with her, but falling flat. "What? Peyton is this about some fight we had before the accident?"

"Do you remember anything about it?"

"Zero." Haley answered. "I don't even remember leaving for the trip. It's like I'm talking to Nathan after school and then I blink and I'm waking up in the hospital. It's like everything in between never happened."

"I wish." Peyton replied with remorse.

"Well can we pretend it didn't then?" Haley asked. "Whatever we said to each other or fought about, it can be gone. The whole thing, all of it, we can just get rid of it. We can try to be friends again. Please?"

"That's not how life works." she stated.

"It can be though, if we take this chance to-"

"You can't just erase things you've done." she interrupted. "No matter how much you want to."

"So this is still about the tour?" Haley asked, interpreting Peyton's statement as a sleight towards what she'd done; assuming she was the target rather than Peyton herself.

"That's not what-" Peyton started but stopped. " I should go."

"Peyton."

"I'm glad you're ok, Haley. Really." she said turning and following the sidewalk uphill.

"Peyton, come on." Haley called after her, attempting to follow, but finding it difficult to take as the road started sloping and her muscles were already tired from her initial chase. "Damn it, Peyton I can't follow you!"

Haley called out angrily, knowing that that fact was exactly what the girl was counting on. The blonde had walked right past her car which was parked not far off from where Haley was. She'd rather ditch her car for a quicker retreat that couldn't be followed than risk the time it took to go to it, start it, get out of her space and leave. Time in which more could have been said. From where she stood, Haley could still see the silhouetted figure moving further away.

"I'm paying you back, Peyton!" she shouted. "Whether you like me or not, you saved me! I'm repaying you! Peyton!"

"Haley!" she'd been hearing his voice for a few seconds, but now she turned and saw him. Nathan came up to her quickly with Brooke and Lucas in tow. "What're you doing? You ok?"

"I'm fine." she told him. "Actually, I'm kind of tired, can you take me home?"

"Yeah." he answered. "Stay here, I'll bring the car."

-

* * *

-

"Some first date, huh?" Haley asked as they pulled up to the apartment. "Sorry."

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "People asking what they could do for us every 10 seconds, Brooke chasing me through a crowd for disobeying her, Tim got a naked baby tattooed above his ass and I got find my wife...girlfriend shouting in the street. I call it a great date."

"Don't forget all the pink."

"Right." he smiled. "For the record, I did warn Brooke about it, but it was kind of too late."

She smiled at him as she opened the passenger door.

"Walk me to my door, date?"

"I don't know." he started. "Do you kiss on the first date, Haley James?"

"Well, I've kissed the morning after, but that was a special circumstance."

"What kind of circumstance?" to which she shrugged her shoulders.

"Some guy throwing rocks at my parents window."

Stopping at the staircase, Haley looked up at it and asked. "Have there always been so many?"

"No they definitely added a few while you were gone. I know it." he teased. "Wnat to know the trick?"

"What is it?"

"Have someone carry you." he told her.

"I'm gonna have to do it myself eventually."

"I know. Eventually, not tonight." he smiled. "Here, hold on to me."

She did so, allowing him to lift her and carefully carry her up the stairs to what used to be their home. He carefully set her down on the balcony area, lettin gher hold the rail while he quickly ran back down to grab the crutches temporarily left at the bottom.

"Thank you." she told him, accepting them from him. "So who carried you?"

"Lucas." he answered right away and with a straight face. Breaking into a smile at the burst of laughter that he'd incited from her. "you can laugh but I'm pretty sure back then if I'd asked he would have."

She smiled at his joke and he reflected it with his own smile. They stood in silence a few moments, looking in each other's eyes, neither one of them really knowing what they were supposed to do next.

"So..I guess this is where a date would say goodnight."

"Guess so."

Nathan stepped close and leaned in closer. She could feel the heat from his breath on her skin and was holding her breath waiting to see if he would kiss her or not. Nathan was unsure himself if he would or should. How slow was slow? This time it was her idea to take time. He hadn't tasted her in so long. So close to her that he could smell her skin; he ached for her.

"Goodnight." he said softly.

"Goodnight." she answered, feeling her heart slamming into her chest expectantly.

At the last second, he seemed to change his mind and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. When he pulled his head away, she turned hers quickly towards it. Catching his mouth with hers. It caught him completely off guard but he didn't waste much time before quickly embracing it. As he felt her taste breathing fire into his chest, she felt the indescribably pull of being so close to him again.

So involved and enveloped in it and each other, she forgot herself and reached both of her hands up to his face. The rest of her body, however, remembered her limits for her and she lost balance, falling towards him. Nathan's reflexes wrapped his strong arms around her before she could tumble further.

"Whoa." he exclaimed when he caught her. "You ok?"

"Whoa is right." she answered, looking into his eyes as she caught her breath. "I've never felt better."

"We shouldn't have done that."

"Why not?" she asked feeling the amazing moment they'd just shared being to slip away.

"How am I supposed to leave now?" he asked.

-

-


	21. All Because Of You

**A/N: Here we go. I hope you're liking the (somewhat) speedy installments of this. I've had a few people telling me that the secret needs to hurry up and come out, and I've had a few Peyton advocates hoping it stays buried to keep the backlash from coming. I love hearing all sides because it tells me how into this people are getting! But as a belated Valentine's gift or, if you're Liz Lemon, Anna Howard Shaw Day :) I will put that out of it's misery and say : It will most definitely come out. I already know the details of the how, the when, the why, and the who. **

-

* * *

"_I'll defend this fairytale_

_The story is true till the end_

_But it's something more than real_

_For those who still pretend."_

_'All Because of You'_

-Sunrise Avenue

* * *

-

"No."

Brooke made the declaration, appearing in the kitchen and moving past her roommate to get the bowl out of the cabinet she had been reaching for.

"No, you sit down."

"Brooke-"

"No arguing. I told you: you need something, you tell me." she reminded her as she poured some of the cereal Haley had already gotten out for herself.

"It's a bowl of cereal Brooke." she stated, manuevering away from the girl and towards the fridge. "I'm not paralyzed."

"I said," closing the refrigerator door before Haley could reach in for anything. "Sit."

Haley let out an exaggerated groan as she went to sit at the counter.

"You wanna bathe me too?" she asked sarcastically, watching Brooke pour the milk in before sliding the breakfast over to her.

"Like you don't already have someone who'd be more than happy to help with that." her roommate remarked while making her own bowl.

Haley felt a small strike go through her body, remembering all the times she and Nathan had showered together.

"Nice."

"What?" Haley asked, her roommate's voice bringing her back from the memories.

"What you're thinking."

"I wasn't-"

"Please, a deaf guy could hear how X-rated your thoughts were just now." she commented with a kink of her eyebrow as she leaned on the other side of the counter with her breakfast. "So, in the shower?"

"What are you doing up this early, anyway?" Haley asked changing the subject. "School doesn't start for a week; even then you're never up at seven."

"I know we still have a week. But _someone_ else apparently still gets up at the crack of dawn regardless." she recalled how she woke. "I heard you hobbling around and knew you were in here trying to do stuff yourself."

"How awful of me." she joked, taking a spoonful of the fruity cereal.

"Really." Brooke agreed. "Aren't your drugs supposed to be making you drowsy or something?"

"Stop calling them drugs."

"Well they are." she replied continuing the tease. "Ya big pill popper."

Haley laughed just before hearing a knock on the door. Jumping, figuratively, at the opportunity Haley announced:

"I got it." she announced getting herself up.

"No you don't." Brooke started, standing up straight.

Haley impulsively pushed her cereal bowl across the counter. The dish smacking into Brooke's and knocking it off the surface, sending splash of milk splattering onto Brooke's shirt.

"Haley!" Brooke squealed feeling the cold liquid through the material and taking stock of what shirt it was and the best way to get it out. Luckily it was just a tank she slept in, but that was besides the point.

"Oh shoot." her roommate feigned concerned. "What a mess."

"How old are you?" she asked rhetorically about the action, grabbing a clean rag out of the drawer and pressing it against the wet spot on her yellow shirt.

"Old enough to answer the door." she commented, going towards it.

"Whatever, it's one of your kind anyway, obviously." she told her, giving up on the rag and just taking the shirt off and running the faucet. "Who else is up this early?"

Haley laughed and opened the door, then smiling for a new reason. Nathan.

"Hi." she greeted happily. "What're you doing here?"

"I knew you'd be awake." he told her, hearing Brooke mutter that they were freaks.

He turned his head towards her to return a remark of his own. The boy immediately turning his head away from her once he caught sight of her bare back at the sink, telling him that if she turned around he'd see more of her than he planned.

"Whoa." he exhaled as he averted his gaze.

Haley followed his previous eyesight to see what it was that made him react that way and saw it for herself. Letting out a small gasp of surprise, she stated. "Brooke!"

"What?" she asked as if she didn't know what was wrong with her actions. "I live here. Besides, it's nothing he hasn't seen before."

Haley turned towards Nathan surprised by the statement.

"Brooke." he said, then towards Haley. "That is not what it sounds like. I had this freaky weird dream after my accident in Cooper's car, and in it she came in the shower while I was in it."

Brooke laughed a bit and moved to leave the room.

"You don't -"

"Calm down, Nathan." Haley instructed with a small chuckle. "It's not a big deal. It's just a dream."

He let out a relaxed breath at her words. He'd been worried that that was going to be taken the wrong way and cause a small rift in their ride back together. He grinned down at her, relieved.

"So. What're you doing here?"

"Well, I have a few things for you." he told her, remembering the initial reason for his visit.

"It is Christmas." she said, already she'd called her parents to tell them. She was the only one of her sisters who'd inherited their love of early rising. "But you already gave me a present."

"There's more." he told her with a grin, bringing flowers from behind his back and holding them out for her. She gave him a big smile and he leaned in for their kiss.

"Merry Christmas." he told her when they pulled back.

"Merry Christmas." she answered. "Are you going to be at Luke's at all today?"

"Maybe later." he said regretfully. He'd rather be there with her then go through his holiday. "You know, my grandparents are here so that's what I'll be doing on this lovely holiday. I just wanted to see you before that whole thing starts."

"I told you I'd come by if you want." she told him.

"I know." he nodded, thankful for the offer. "I don't want you dealing with all them today. Besides, isn't it a little early to be spending holidays with each other's families? We've only been on a few dates."

"True."

"Ugh." Brooke announced her presence as she returned to the room and heard what was said. "You guys are ridiculous."

Nathan smiled and relished in what was possibly to be the only relzexing moment of his day before sighing. "Alright, better get back. But there's one more thing."

Before Haley could ask him what it was, he kissed her again. A sweet kiss in which he could feel her smile.

"Bye."

"Bey." she repeated, unable to help the smile.

"You know how weird this is right?" Brooke asked after he was gone. "You're married, but you're dating. You're doing everything married people do except living together. What's the point?"

"Well if we were living together how would you flaunt yourself in front of him?" she teased. "Besides, we're not doing _everything_ married people do." she stated, as she sat back down at the counter.

"Wait." she took a second to understand. " no sex?"

"Not yet." she answered.

"I _really_ don't understand this." she told Haley, not for the first time. "Esspecially not having sex when you've been there and you know how good it is. It was different when you were this cute little virgin who didn't know any better, but now -"

"Brooke."

"Oh." Brooke sounded, cutting off whatever her roommate would have even tried to say as she had a thought come to her. "Is it 'cause you're kinda one-legged right now?" she asked. "Because that shouldn't stop you. You could even incorporate it if you want. It could make for some kinky. Like a lady pirate and -"

"Brooke!" she said again to stop her strange disturbing thought process before Haley could hear more about it. "Jeez, talk about X-rated."

"Hey, I might be dirty," Brooke began, finally deciding to play along. "but you're boyfriend's gonna think you're a tease."

"Merry Christmas to all."

"Speaking of." Brooke smiled before running out of the room and returning with a wrapped gift. "I've got something for you my gimpy friend."

"Thank you." Haley said as Brooke put the gift on the counter in front of her. "I've got something for you too. It's on-"

"The shelf in the closet." Brooke finished, getting a look from Haley and shrugging. "I was bored and alone in the place with no one to tell me not to." she held up her wrist, showing the charm bracelet. "Anyway, I love it and thank you. Now yours!"

Haley shook her head with an amused smile and put her attention on the blue and white wrapping. As soon as Haley pulled the paper off the fabric Brooke gave a small :

"Surprise!" she said putting her hands in the air dramatically. "You love it?"

Haley looked in confusion as she saw a pair of jeans folded in the wrapping. Brooke got her jeans? She knew she'd never liked her fashion sense all that much, but that was just a strange gift. Lifting them out, she unfolded them and took an interesting look at it. Up one leg there was a string of stiches that was patterned all the way from the hem up to the waist. It was pretty cool.

Her eyes didn't stray from the stitching and she ran her finger over one specific thread. As she touched it she felt something like a flash.

_She was looking up, there was a song playing loudly in her ears but she didn't really hear it. She felt the fire in her leg and saw the face above her; Peyton. Holding her hands and shouting._

"_Stop! You have to stop!" _

_Then another voice. New but sounding just as desperate. _

"_I can't!" _

"I did it while you were in the hospital." Brooke informed her. "Lucas and I had to go get all the stuff we left in the car after it was towed back and I found those in there. Since I destroyed them I figured I could make them an even better ..." she trailed off realizing that Haley was staring intently at the pattern she'd sewn in to the fabric. "Haley?"

The girl looked up at her finally, letting out a breath, feeling as if she were holding it for too long a time. She saw Brooke looking at her concerned and looked around the room a moment wondering what just happened. She felt the jeans in her hands and looked down at them again, trying to hold on to the images that had just forced themselves into their conversation. Wondering if they were something real or maybe a dream she'd forgotten about. She thought about the terrible pain in her leg during the the flash and then touched her hand over the hard thick plastic locked around her joint.

"What's wrong?" Brooke asked.

"Nothing I just, I don't know, I think maybe I remembered something from the accident." she mused aloud. At first not wanting to say anything to Brooke about it, not wanting to bring the unpleasantness of it into the happy moments they were sharing. But she wanted to know if it was an actual memory or not.

"That's good. What was it?"

"I'm not sure what was going on." she recalled, trying to give more detail to the vague recollection. "I could hear music and I saw Peyton. She was screaming that you had to stop and you said ...'I can't.'" Haley looked at her friend and then asked. "Do you know what that was? Did that actually happen?"

"Yes." Brooke answered, nodding. Then licked her lips to say, "I think I know what you're remembering."

"What?"

"It was in the car. You'd been in the snow so long we were trying to put you in dry clothes. I was, um, I was trying to get your jeans off but 'cause of your knee..." she tried not to remember exactly what it was like being there like that. "I was hurting you and Peyton told me to stop but we couldn't. You know?"

"No. I mean, yeah I do I'm just...it's weird. You know, these things happened and I was there for them, but it's like just hearing a story and not actually being a part of it." she confessed the awkwardness she'd been feeling about losing the time between Point A and Point C. "But, from the sounds of it, you definitely did the right thing." she offered trying to bring the mood back away from the glum shadow she'd brought it into. "Thank you...again."

"You should really stop thanking me." Brooke answered with a smile.

"Alright." Haley stated firmly. "Enough is enough. It's Christmas and we're going to have fun by God."

"Damn right!" Brooke agreed. "We shower, we dress and we head over to Lucas' for some fuzzy warm holiday moments."

"Yes."

"And no more talk of accidents or snow storm mishaps unless it directly involves something light-hearted and fun that's going on." she demanded. "Agreed?"

"Agreed." Haley answered. "With one exception."

"What's that?"

"Can we make a stop on the way to Lucas'?"

-

* * *

-

He quietly entered his house, closing the door behind him with as little sound as possible and heard the television playing,. Peering into the living room, he saw his grandfather watching ESPN just as he'd been doing when Nathan left. Thankfully it looked as if he hadn't caught attention of the old man while leaving. Passing him relieved, he went to the kitchen.

Once in the entryway to the room he saw his mom and dad in there and instantly turned to leave before he was seen.

"Nathan." his mother's surprised voice caught him before he could get away. Reluctantly, but for his mother, he turned again and returned to his destination. "Good morning."

"Morning." he answered purposefully looking only at her and avoiding his father.

"Um," his mom began, obviously looking for something to say that wouldn't spark something up. "Were you out somewhere?"

"Yeah." he answered then looked directly at his father while he spoke to his mother. "I went to see Haley."

"Of course." she nodded whlie her husband chuckled into his coffee mug after hearing Nathan's answer. "And, how is Haley?"

"She's fine." he answered, ignoring his father and appreciating his mother's attempts.

"There's some flowers missing from the garden." Dan finally spoke up. "A bunch, like someone just went through pulling them out. Did you see anyone when you left?"

Nathan met his eyes with a glare. Dan didn't seem to care that he was angering him, or maybe it was that doing that was exactly his goal. Either way, he continued.

"So," began after another sip of coffee. "did you have to bribe the bouncer to get in or was your name on the list?"

"Stop it Dan." Deb hissed at the man.

Nathan just scoffed and started to leave, having lost any inkling of thirst that had brought him to that room in the first place, when his mom called out to halt him once more.

"Nathan, wait." she spoke and he did so for her. "Will Haley be joining us today?"

"No." he answered, once again grateful for the kindness his mother was trying to offer.

"Why not?"

"Photoshoot?" Dan asked before Nathan could answer his mother's question. "Or is it the Rolling Stone interview today? You know, those rock and roll lifestyles...so hectic. I don't know how anyone keeps track."

"Why do you think?" he asked his mom before walking out of the room. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." Deb said back a bit louder to make sure he could hear her after walking away.

"Hey, if she changes her mind give us a warning." Dan called out after his son. "I don't want the paparazzi craling all over the house!"

"What the hell's the matter with you?" she growled at him while he smiled amused by his own jokes. "Is that how you try to keep a relationship with your son?"

"What? He expects me not to say anything about his mistakes?" he asked, then. "I'm sorry, I mean _mistake_."

"You just barely have him in your life Dan, how long do you think that will last if you keep this up?" she asked. "Leave them alone."

"Well look at you." he stated. "Singing a different tune now about this marriage just to keep him on your team. That's the difference between good and bad parents, Deb. Good ones are more concerned with what's right for their kids, not what will make them like you more."

"Did you really just call yourself a good parent?" she asked skeptically. "Are you kidding me?"

"I'm the only one here trying to get him to do what's best and drop the stone he's decided to strap to his ankles before it drowns him."

"That stone you're talking about, is a person Dan." she remarked. "And not just a person, his wife; the girl he loves. Jesus Christ, Dan, she's a girl who nearly died and you're talking about her like that."

"Yeah. Nearly." he repeated, then clicked his tongue. "So close."

"You're disgusting."

"Ok, if he was in love with a serial killer," Dan started, "would you just smile and give your blessing because it's who he _thinks_ he loves?"

"So first she's a stone, now you're comparing her to a killer?" she asked, really not understanding what made this man tick.

"Maybe she is one. Who knows?" he shrugged his shoulders. "All I know for sure is she's leading my son towards a cliff and I'm not going to let him be convinced to jump; I don't care what I have to do."

"That sounded like a threat Dan." she noted aloud with a tinge of worry in her voice.

"Who knows?" he repeated.

"Dan-"

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Deb's mother-in-law announced entering the room.

"Merry Christmas Mom." he replied, wrapping his mother in a hug; switching on a smile and a disgustingly cheery tone.

Deb watched the exchange and caught Dan's eyes looking at her over his mother's shoulder during the embrace. A knowing stare that she'd become to falmiliar with over the years. One that told her he had power to make lives miserable and he had every intention to use it.

She stared at them in disbelief that there'd ever been someone in there that she had loved and wished for. Unable to take it, she turned and left the room.

-


	22. Bend Not Break

**A/N: Sweetness! Look how fast I'm updating this...Aren't you happy? Technically this chap is the second half of the previous one. I had written it out all as one but then decided to cut it in half so it wasn't all being bunched together. I didn't want to spend more than one chap on the whole christmas-ness-ocity but it works out better this way in two pieces. **

**p.s. Am I the only one seriously wanting some Baley in this season? With everything they've both been/are going through why haven't we seen a real heart to heart between the two of them? The most we've had is a scene on the roof with quinn and slutfaced alex there too and a few 30 second snippets of them. Finding out you can't have kids, breaking up with your boyfriend, learning your mother's going to die and your selfish sister ditched you to deal with it.**

**COME ON, material there for some great touching moments for the friends. **

-

* * *

"_I am fairly agile_

_I can bend and not break_

_Or I can break and take it with a smile"_

_'Bend Not Break_

-Dashboard Confessional

* * *

-

"Do you want me to come up with you?" Brooke asked, opening Haley's car door despite her roommate's protesting that she could open her own door. "You know, in case you guys try to throw down again."

"I don't think it's fair to make fun of me for something I don't even remember doing." Haley commented, pulling herself up.

"Maybe. But it's fun."

"For all I know you're making it up." she speculated situating her stance on the sidewalk and looking up at the house than at Brooke. "I've never tackled anyone. Except Taylor, but that doesn't count."

"Right, since a third of the town has done it, too. Including your..." she trailed off seeing the warning look Haley shot her. "Still no?"

"Still no."

"Damn." Brooke cursed, "When will it be ok to make jokes?"

"Probably the day after Holocaust jokes are ok." Haley replied without missing a beat while Brooke reached in the back and pulled out the rectangular case.

"Don't you think you're exaggerating a little?"

"Nope."

"Alright." Brooke accepted putting disappointment in her voice holding out the box when Haley reached out for it. "Seriously, you want me to come with you? Carry that or something?"

"No I'm good." she answered, getting hold of it and showing her friend how she could hang on to it and walk up there on her own. "See, it's go a handle, and everything."

"Alright, how about the other part?"

"It's fine, Brooke. Just, you know, give me a few minutes then come up. I know you want to see her on this lovely holiday too." she paused a second and looked down. "Think she'll like it?"

"Definitely." She answered with a nod, before she accepted her answer and turned away. "You got it?"

"Yes mom." she replied, starting up the walk. "And I promise not to take candy from strangers."

"But they have the best kind!" she called out jokingly, leaning against the door of her car.

Haley adjusted her hold on the handle when she reached the door. A few months ago she would've just walked through the door as if _she_ lived there; everyone did. But Haley figured it was safe to assume that wasn't or privelage of hers anymore. So she rang the doorbell instead. She waited only a few seconds before an unfamiliar face opened the door. She was caught off guard by anyone other than Peyton answering the door.

"Hi." she greeted and took a sensible stab at who it was. "Mr. Sawyer?"

"Sometimes." he answered. "Depends who's looking for him."

"Right. Sorry." she apologized. "I've never seen you before."

"No worries," he answered. "work has that effect on things."

"I know it's Christmas and I don't mean to interrupt your time together but I was hoping to see Peyton."

"You're a friend of hers?" he asked, wishing he knew more about his daughter's life.

"Kind of." she answered uncertainly. "I'm Haley."

"Oh, _you're_ Haley." Larry responded. "I've heard a few things about you from Peyton."

"Good?" she asked cautiously.

"Interesting." he answered, then recalled a few of the random conversations he'd had with her on the phone while he was away. "I met this girl Haley, he says he doesn't but I think Nathan likes her. Nathan and Haley are going out, is it weird that we're friends? Nathan and Haley got _married_."

He emphasized the last word and she felt herself blush a bit.

"Yeah." she began. "I guess, interesting is right."

"Well, I won't touch on that subject. Especially since I'm sure you got plenty of it from your own parents. And since it's Christmas I won't repeat some of the more recent things I've heard with your name attached."

"Thanks." she replied, then remembering why she came. "Is she here?"

"Yeah." he answered, "Come on in, I'll get her. Probably shouldn't let you keep standing in the cold like that." he noted, stepping aside and opening the door wider and letter her in. Then he looked out across his front lawn and raised his voice, "You too Brooke!"

"Hi Larry!" she waved before making her way towards the hosue as well.

"Normally I'd tell you to go on up," he began again speaking to Haley,

"Yeah." she nodded with a nervous chuckle. "We've all got plans. Don't need to hang out all day waiting for me."

"Make yourself at home."

"Always." Brooke told him entering thehouse as the man ascended the stairs. "You alright."

Her friend answered with a nod while they waited; Brooke could tell she was a bit nervous about seeing the blonde and the possible exchange they may have.

"You never told me what happened the other night." Brooke stated, knowing there'd been an interaction between her two friends but no details on what it entailed. "At the party."

"Nothing new." she recalled. "Basically the same as every conversation we've hd since I came back."

A moment later, the man came down the stairs alone.

"Sorry girls." he apologized. "She's in the shower."

"Oh." Haley voiced, getting up. "That's ok, we should be heading over to Karen's anyway."

"If you want to come by later, I'm sure she'd be happy to see you guys." he offered.

"Thanks." Haley replied politely though she doubted the truth of that. "Could you make sure she gets this?"

"Sure." he answered, accepting the case from her. He looked it over quickly and commented: "Nice. What is it?"

"It's nothing. Some art stuff; paints and things. I thought she'd...anyway, we should get going." speaking the last part to Brooke. Then towards Larry again. "You don't have to tell her who it's from. Thanks again."

"Of course." he answered, feeling the somber change in the air.

"Bye girls. Brooke."

"Merry Christmas Larry." Brooke returned politely following her roommate out the door.

At the car Brooke was prompted to ask once again: "You alright?"

"I'm fine." she again answered, looking out the window at the house they'd just left, then to her driver. "Come on, Lucas and karen are waiting."

The bug pulled away from the curb, taking off in the direction of the specific household.

"You going to tell me what that was about?"

Peyton heard her father ask her from the doorway of her bedroom while she stood, holding the curtain back slightly to look out the window. She knew he didn't understand and most likely didn't like that she'd told him to lie for her.

"Don't worry about it." the only answer she found to say, still looking out at where they'd been parked.

"You ask me to like about you when your best friend is here?" he asked. "I may not be the most involved father, but I know when you don't want to see Brooke it's definitiely something to worry about."

"Not now, Dad." she said, turning towards him, seeing he held something in his hand.

"Haley asked me to give this to you." he told her putting it down and then sighed. After a moment of silence he spoke up again with his hands on his hips. "Come on, enough of this, let's do our Christmas thing. I'll start on the pancakes."

"I'll be right down."

When he left, Peyton brought the case he'd left behind to her lap as she sat down on her bed. Opening it, she ran her fingers over the collection of colors and brushes all set in their specific place. She thought back to the night on the sidewalk outside the party. When she'd made her cowardly getaway, she could hear the girl still speaking to her; telling her she was going to pay her back. This set she'd dropped off for her, she could tell, wasn't cheap.

"Merry Christmas."

-

* * *

-

The laughter filled the room, erupting from the dinner table. Amidst the laughter, Lucas' voice attempted to be heard.

"Ok." he started loudly, "That's not how it happened."

"That's _so_ how it happened!" Brooke returned, still laughing.

Once the sound calmed down a bit, Karen looked around at the faces at her table. Lucas, Brooke and Haley all gathered around sharing the day. They'd exchanged gifts and now had finished most of the meal Karen had laid out. Spending the time talking, telling stories and laughing at and with one another. It was everything the day should be.

Karen imagined this was what it would have been like if she'd had more children. But then again, she did have more than one child. That was proven by the very table she sat at that very moment. Maybe it wasn't traditional, but it was real.

Too lost in her own thoughts, Karen realized she'd missed something else as a fresh bout of laughs came from the teens around her. Obviously this time, Brooke was now the target since it was now her voice fighting to be heard though it carried the laughter as well even as she defended herself against it.

Karen hadn't heard what was said, but let herself happily laugh along anyway, inspired by the genuine sound of theirs. Then she stood up.

"Alright, alright." the woman announced to get their attention. "Who's ready for dessert?"

-

* * *

-

The atmosphere was wretchedly uncomfortable.

Nathan sat silently, moving a piece of the turkey back and forth, not deciding yet if he wanted to eat it or not. They'd sat down and dished up plates what felt like an eternity ago. But nothing had been said yet; and he was waiting for the usual terror to start. It was impossible to relax and enjoy any of these family gatherings when you knew it would eventually become an all out war somehow.

Finally someone broke the ice: Grandma.

"The food is wonderful, Deb." she offered, and Nathan felt a smile pull at his lips. He loved his grandmother. She was as sweet a lady as they came.

"I couldn't have done it without your help, Mae." she replied.

Now that the first words had been spoke, it seemed like a signal had gone out to all others that it was time to begin sounding.

"How's the dealership Danny?" he heard his grandfather's voice ask and Nathan was surprised his words had absolutely nothing to do with basketball.

"Ready to re-open next week." he answered proudly. As soon as the sentence was finished, Royal was already speaking again.

"How's your game Nathan?" to which his grandson sighed. So much for that.

"It's fine." he answered, uninterested in the same conversation they'd had a million times over.

"Fine?" he repeated. " I didn't know the scout's were out looking for 'fine.'"

"Royal." Deb stated, defending her song against him. "Nathan was spent the summer at High Flyers."

"Yep." Dan added. "Only invite the best."

Nathan wished he could be thankful for his dad bragging on his behalf, but he knew what he was really doing. He was using Nathan's achievments to vicariously prove to his own father that he was worthy of his praise; both men attempting to reach their goals through the youngest Scott.

"Good job, honey."

"Thanks Grandma." he answered with a small smile; she was genuinely proud of him for no reason other than he deserved it. No ulterior motive for her praise. She meant it.

"What was your ranking?" his grandfather asked.

Nathan licked his lips, not wanting to answer. Though his rank at the end of the program was something he was extremely proud of, he already knew it wouldn't be enough for the man. It certainly hadn't been enough for his father.

"Nathan?" Royal said his name again waiting to be answered. The boy cleared his throat.

"Third."

"Third?" the man repeated unimpressed.

"In the country." Deb, once again, stepping in to defend her son. She was happy for him.

"Well good job then. When the scouts are looking for players, you think they're gonna call you or the two guys ahead of you?"

Before Nathan, or anyone, could respond to the stab, his grandmother's voice came again, hoping to nip the fight in the bud before it could start.

"Nathan." she spoke up. "whatever happened between you and that girl you were seeing? The one we met, oh what was her name?"

"Haley." Deb answered the question as she felt Nathan tense up as she was brought up in the conversation, and Deb knew exactly why.

"That's right." Mae smiled. "She was a sweetheart, are you two still together?"

Dan laughed a bit and played it off as if it were a cough when he was looked at. Nathan hadn't told his grandparent's about him and Haley's marriage. It was something he wanted to do in person, but the way his grandparents were always travelling around and going from here to there, the young couple hadn't had a chance to arrange a trip to see them before everything began to fall apart.

With a deep breath, he decided if something was going to set this off, it might as well be something more substantial than basketball.

"We actually," he began, clearing his throat and remembered he hadnothing to be ashamed of. "We got married."

Dan stared at him, letting the food on his fork just hang in the air forgotten as he gave him a steel-eyed glare as if he were expecting him not to mention it. Nathan looked uncertainly between his grandparents, from one to another waiting for a response. Getting one finally once Royal started a chuckle that turned into a real laugh. Nathan then looked to his mother, who looked as confused as he felt.

"That's a good answer Nathan." Royal said laughing. "I'll tell that one to some of the boys when we get back." Nathan looked down, upset by the response. He thought it was a joke. The teen looked back up when the old man spoke again. "So when did you two split?"

"It's not a joke, Grandpa." nathan started. "We got married. We _are_ married."

"That's enough now." Royal ordered, all trace of laughter gone from his words. "It's not funny anymore."

The boy again glanced to his mother for help. She put a hand on his shoulder and began.

"It's true." Deb said to her in-laws. "Nathan emancipated himself some time ago and he and Haley are married."

Nathan silently thanked his mother as he saw that, coming from her, the news was taken seriously and began to finally sink in as a true fact.

Then, as he'd expected, the hell erupted around him.

-

* * *

-

They'd said their goodbyes now the girls were heading out.

"Come by later and I'll give you your real present." Brooke informed suggestively to Lucas as he walked her to the door.

"Can't wait." he answered, inciting a giggle from his girlfriend as he opened the door. Pulling it away, their amusement paused at the reveal of his brother on the front porch, obviously poised to knock.

"Nathan." Brooke greeted. "Hi."

"A little late man," Lucas began. "but com ein there's still food and -"

"Thanks." he interrupted. "Haley still here."

"Of course." Brooke answered, being her roommate's ride. " We were just leaving but she's taking her sweet time." turning around. "Haley!"

"Jeez, Brooke, I'm coming, alright?" Haley appeared from the kitchen where she was talkin to Karen. "Nathan."

"Hi." he put his hands in his pockets, not giving any attention to the audience they had. "Can we go somewhere?"

"Yeah." she answered, tone changing as she sensed something was wrong. "I'll see you at home."

Brooke nodded at her and then she followed Nathan out. Walking alongside him towards the car, he said nothing and it made it more obvious he was upset about something.

"Are you alright?"

"Come on." he replied without answering her question.

They got in his car and drove in silence. Haley was worried, in the silence she could feel the tension coming off him in waves. She safely assumed it had something to do with the family gathering. The girl chose not to say anything until they stopped the car.

They finally pulled to a stop and she kept her eyes on him without glancing anywhere else. He sighed and turned off the engine. He took a second, looking out the windshield, trying to calm himself before he spoke.

"Nathan," she spoke quietly. "what's wrong? Did something happen with your grandparents?"

"I told them." he answered.

"Nathan-" putting her hand on his arm, understanding what he was talking about.

"You know, I've never known my dad and grandpa to agree on anything other than basketball before." he mused. "Until now."

"I'm so sorry you had to do that alone." she offered. "I should've been there."

"No." he answered. "It's better you weren't." he shook his head, thinking about it. "The things they said, it's better you weren't there."

He let out a breath and put his hand over hers.

"I'm sorry." he stated. "You were having a good time, I shouldn't have come -"

"No. Nathan," she interrupted, squeezing his arm. "you never have to apologize or think about apologizing for coming to me. I don't care what I'm doing, if you need me I'm here."

"I know." he said quietly, turning to look at her. "I just wanted to feel that; to know for sure it was still there."

"Of course it is." she answered. "i told you I'm not goin ganywhere. You can always come to me, Nathan. Always and forever."

He felt the smile pull at him at her words. He'd never heard anything so true; he could feel it in the beating heart in his chest. Thinking back about the dinner he'd just stormed out in the middle of, thinking about the things that were said by his grandfather and – seizing the opportunity to have his own father on his side – Dan, he had one more thing to say.

"I want you to know," he started. "no matter how this goes or where we end up, I'll never regret us. Any of it, even with the bad stuff, marrying you is the one thing I could never consider a mistake. I'd do it all again in a second."

"Me too." she answered. "I might change one or two things though."

He smiled, having a feeling he knew what she referred to. Looking out towards the windshielf again, he asked.

"You recognize this place?"

Haley looked for the first time at where he had brought them. With a smile, she nodded and he spoke, looking back out at the sand.

"Happiest day of my life." he stated. "Just over that hill."

"The little purple flowers." she remembered. "Paradise."

"Can we just sit here for a while?" he asked,

She leaned into him, and felt him drape his arm over her shoulders, holding her close while they both wordlessly looked out at the beach.

-

-


	23. If You Don't, Don't

**A/N: So after about a week without a working laptop, I've finally got it back. Upside of that whole annoyance is that in the time I didn't have it, I occupied any free time I had with writing out updates, and plenty of them. Example being I have the next 3 for this all ready and waiting for typing and posting. Kind of long, but I didn't want to cut it. Here we go!**

_-_

_-_

* * *

"_If you don't don't know, why'd you say so?_  
_Would you mean this please if it happens?  
If you don't know, why would you say so?  
Won't you get your story straight?"_

_'If You Don't, Don't'_

-Jimmy Eat World

* * *

-

-

Peyton came downstairs to the ground level of the house, quiet except for the faint traces of music being played in her second story bedroom. She was once again the only resident in the Sawyer house since her dad had left to return to work a few days ago. She looked momentarily out the narrow window near the door frame, the early North Carolina afternoon was just another display of how impossible it was to predict anything in the town; with the sun out, just about all traces of snow were gone. There was, no doubt, still the bite of a winter chill in the air, but no visual evidence of any of it.

Turning away, she moved to walk towards the kitchen and froze before she could get there, letting out a gasp of surprise at the company she wasn't aware she had. Putting her hand over her pounding heart she spoke.

"You scared the crap out of me." she stated, continuing past her guest towards her destination. "What are you doing here?"

"Do I need a reason to come see you, friend?" Brooke asked, turning to follow her form as she went to the refrigerator and returned with two bottles of water, offering one to Brooke.

"No." Peyton answered, sensing something was off about the girl's visit, something in the vibe she was getting from the few words she'd spoken so far. "But you usually aren't hiding in the hall like a creepy psycho stalker."

Peyton commented to her, hoping it could set the standard of the conversation as something light and easy.

"Well, I figured it was the only way to actually get you to see me."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, taking a sip.

"Well, ducking out of parties, not coming over, not answering my calls...it seems like you've pretty much been avoiding me round the clock."

"That's crazy." she defended, "Why would I avoid you? I've just been busy."

"Really?" she asked, by the sound of it, Peyton got the uneasy feeling that her excuse was far from being bought. Yet she remained with it.

"Really."

"So you were _really_ in the shower when we came by on Christmas?"

"Of course." she lied with a forced laugh, hoping it was genuine enough to dismiss the suspicions. "Why would I lie about something like that? It's stupid."

"That's good. I mean, that's what I was wondering, 'Why would she lie like that?' especially after I saw you looking out your window when I was at the car." Brooke stated, having not said anything at the time it happened so as not to upset her roommate. She saw the eyes of her friend widen upon being caught in a lie. Brooke crossed her arms and continued. "Thanks for clearing that up for me."

"Ok. Brooke-"

"What the hell is going on Peyton?" she demanded to know.

"I'm sorry, I just, you know it was, you know what a crummy year I had. It was Christmas and my dad was here and I just wanted to spend some time with him and forget about all the crap for a little while."

"Wow." Brooke began, shaking her head. "That's the second lie you've told me today. Gonna go for the hat trick?"

"That is not a lie." she argued.

"It might not be a lie but it sure as hell isn't the whole truth, is it?" she replied quickly. Peyton opened her mouth, but Brooke spoke up first with a warning. "The last time you were lying and avoiding me it was because you were sneaking around behind my back!"

"No!" Peyton spoke quickly. "No, Brooke that's not happening. I swear to God I wouldn't do that to you again. Me and Lucas are just-"

"I know that Peyton!" she interrupted. "I know exactly what you and Lucas are. But I'll tell you right now that that has everything to do with me believing in him and zero to do with any promise you could make to God or anybody right now."

The words stung the blonde. The declaration of mistrust hurt her deeply. They'd worked so hard to get back to their friendship and to hear straight out that Brooke again (or perhaps still) didn't trust her was like swinging a wrecking ball through that bridge once again. True, Peyton had done something awful, but it wasn't what Brooke had semi-accused her of in that roundabout way. Yes, Peyton had a secret, and it was why she was avoiding the people close to her.

"I'm sorry if it hurts you, but admit it, the way you've been lately doesn't inspire a lot of confidence." Brooke told her, then forcefully: "One chance: Why?"

"Brooke, I'm..." the voice in her head telling her to confess; to own up to what she'd done and let the chips fall as they may as to their response. She wished that voice could do the actually speaking for her, because even as she listened to it, she could feel it wasn't going to happen. "I'm dealing with stuff."

"Damn it, Peyton! We're all dealing with stuff!" Brooke raised her voice, almost shouting in frustration at her vague fiend. "Every one of us; every single person on this planet is dealing with stuff. But you don't pull away and isolate from people who care and give them bullshit excuses. You know _do_ do? Deal with it!"

Brooke shook her head, feeling a bit better at having finally let out some frustration towards the blonde for her behavior.

"You've got all of us in your life, all of us who care about you, why wouldn't you let someone help you? Why wouldn't you let _me_ help you?" Brooke asked. "We've been through everything, you know you can come to me. Why are you hiding?" Brooke then shrugged a bit. "Is it me? Am I the problem?"

"Absolutely not." she stated after a second of disbelief that the girl would consider that a possibility.

She stepped forward, closing some of the space between them. She knew the effect the absence of her friend's parents had on Brooke. She sheltered it from the light, but Peyton knew Brooke forever wondered if she may have, in some way, been the reason her parents were all too eager to keep themselves away.

"Brooke, you haven't done anything, I promise." she spoke forcefully to get the point across. "It could never be you. You're my best friend."

"So I guess I know what it is then. Haley." Brooke responded. "I'm your best friend, but I come by with her and your dad lies for you so you don't have to see us. Except it's not 'us' you don't want to see; it's her. Right?"

"I-"

"Here." Brooke picked up off the floor and handed to Peyton what she'd brought with her. Peyton's eyes took in the familiar object and wondered how she hadn't noticed it was there. "I found this in front of the apartment door when I came home that night."

Brooke waited a moment for her friend to explain herself. When she didn't, the brunette continued.

"She got that for you." Brooke narrowed her eyes a bit. "For saving her life; because she feel in debt to you. And you just drop it on the doorstep to give it back like it's nothing; maybe it is nothing to you and maybe that's the point you were trying to make. Because if she knew you did that she'd feel worse than she already does about everything."

"She doesn't..."

"No." Brooke answered. "I got home first. She was with Nathan. _Nathan_: the person who actually has real reason to be madder than anyone but has chose to be an adult and move on. He was hit worse than anyone, definitely a whole hell of a lot worse than you, but here you are. It's actually funny; back when you two were going out, I always asked you why you were with someone so childish when you obviously deserved so much better. I guess all that time I was asking the wrong person."

"Brooke, just listen-"

"No." she stated firmly. "You listen, Peyton, because here's what's going to happen. Tonight's the New Year's part at Tric. Haley is going to be there and when you see her, you will speak to her like she's more than some pebble in your shoe. You'll pull the bitch stick out of your ass and remember that she's a person. And you'll thank her for the present. Got it?"

Brooke waited a silent second, making sure her words sunk in before turning to leave, slamming the door on her way out.

-

-

* * *

-

-

Brooke entered her apartment still in a huff hoping to calm the blood pumping so furiously through her in the remaining hours before the party.

She really didn't want to start off a new year pissed off at her oldest friend. She wanted to do it with a smile on her face and a midnight kiss from her boyfriend.

"Hey." the voice surprised her and she turned to see Nathan exiting the bedroom, closing the door behind him. "What's with the door slam?"

"Sorry." she answered. "I didn't know you guys were back. Haley said you'd grab some food after."

"We were but she's pretty wiped." he informed her. "She's laying down."

"Oh." Brooke voiced feeling sort of bad now about her noisy entrance. "Sorry again."

"What's got you hating doors so much?" he asked.

"I...stepped in some mud." she came up with quickly; something believable for Brooke Davis to find angering. "I love these shoes."

"Oh." he responded to her situation. Then, remembering the last time he'd been over when something of hers got messy. "At least if you take your shoes off to clean them you won't end up flashing anyone."

She smiled. "Like you didn't want the teeniest peek." he shook his head with a grin and she continued. "That's right, I forgot, you've got a girlfriend."

He laughed and walked towards the door she had previously shut with a fury. Opening it, he turned to speak from the doorway before leaving.

"Listen, if she doesn't feel up to tonight it's cool. I know how much it can take out of you."

"You probably just want the apartment to yourselves. More than a midnight kiss planned, HotShot?" she asked, teasingly, then promised. "She'll call you."

Once he was out the door, Brooke went into the room he'd emerged from. Right away, she saw her roommate lying on the large bed. With Haley's limited mobility since the accident, Brooke refused to let her sleep on her own, smaller bed against the opposite wall of the room. Initially Haley had argued but it was settled. They traded but Brooke, too used to her large mattress, decided they would just share after one restless night on the other one.

The brunette walked over and sat on the bed beside her. The addition of the weight opened Haley's eyes.

"Hi roomie."

"Hi back." she answered still feeling heavy with exhaustion on the soft bed.

"How was physical therapy?" Brooke asked, pulling her legs on the bed with her.

"Plenty physical." she answered, turning her head so the pillow wouldn't muffle her words.

Really it hadn't seemed like that much when their agenda was laid out for her by the therapist. It consisted mostly of stretching and moving, bending her knee and straightening it again against however much resistance it was the trainer thought was appropriate for her. Not being much on paper didn't stop her from breaking into a sweat and feeling completely void of energy afterwards.

"I'm sorry. How do you feel?"

"Tired." she answered, "Wishing I could just fast forward through the rest of it and just get to the part where I'm walking like a human being again."

"I bet." she answered. "But that would be cheating, and my TutorGirl would never cheat."

The remark did as Brooke hoped when her roommate let out an amused chuckle. Brooke smiled too and ran a finger through the girls hair.

"Need anything?" she asked. "One of your happy pills?"

"Nathan already gave me one." she answered.

"Such a junkie."

"Shut up." she demanded with a laugh. "What did you do while I was gone?"

"Errands." Brooke shrugged. "Took care of some things."

"Anything important?"

"Nothing for you to worry your little head about." she answered. "Just preparations for the party tonight. But, now, you rest and I'll wake you in a bit."

"Ok." she answered as if she'd planned to do anything other than what she'd been told.

It took only a few seconds after her words for Haley's eyes to fall closed again. Brooke sat in her spot for a few minutes longer, letting her mind wander. Today was New Year's Eve, in hours it would be a brand new year. She wanted everyone to put the nasty things from this past one completely away and start the new one fresh and happy again.

Sighing, she got up and quietly left the room to let her friend sleep.

-

-

* * *

-

-

_The ground disappeared from beneath her feet. _

_She barely had time to register the fact that she was falling before she hit the ground. Her body hitting into the sloped earth, she felt her knee come down painfully on something hard; crashing into it with all the force of her falling weight._

_She let out an anguished cry as it happened, then there was the cold, wet snow as she tumbled the rest of the way. Seeing colors when her head hit something else hidden in the treacherous winter, her momentum finally stopped her in a heap on flat gound._

_Lying on her back, scrunching her eyes tightly shut in pain, tears still managed to find their way out._

_Sitting up, her head throbbed and spun, but it was nothing compared to her leg._

_She looked down at it, tried to move it and immediately sprung fresh tears at how much it hurt. The intensity of it made her nauseous. After a moment, waiting to see if she were going to in fact be sick right there in the snow, she lifted her head._

"_Help!"_

Haley woke with a sharp gasp.

Her eyes wildly scanned her direct line of vision. Brooke's face looking down at her and the girl spoke to her.

"It's ok." Brooke said once she saw the other girl was awake. "It's alright."

Haley let out a deep breath to calm her rapidly beating heart and ran a hand over her face feeling the drops of new sweat that were there.

"Hey." Brooke's voice again. She looked at the worry in her friend's face. "Say something."

After another second of settling herself back into reality, Haley found her voice.

"Dream." she said, clearing her throat. "I was having a dream."

Brooke let out a sigh of relief at hearing her speak. The brunette had been watching some television in the living room when she decided it was about time she decide what she was going to wear. It was when she clicked off the tv that she heard a strange sound that only got more distinct as she got closer and closer to their bedroom. She realized once she was inside that it was the girl in the bed crying and mumbling to herself. It took Brooke a few unresponsive minutes to finally wake her. She wondered to herself how long it had been going on if she wasn't able to hear it over the television it could have been as long as she'd been out there.

"Dreaming?" Brooke repeated. "No shit."

Brooke ran a hand through her dark locks and took a breath of her own.

"That was some dream." Brooke commented. "Clowns again?"

-

-

* * *

-

-

"Fifteen minutes!"

A voice Haley didn't recognized shouted over the pulsing music. The two couples looked in the direction it came from a moment before turning back towards each other at their table.

"Not a lot of time left in the year?" Lucas commented. "Every got a resolution picked out?"

"Win state." Nathan said. "You?"

"Win state." he nodded in agreement. "Hales?"

"How about not breaking any bones?" she offered, though she'd never really put a lot of thought into new year's resolutions. People always used it as a platform for some grand promise or change about themselves that they hardly ever follow through with. If you wanted to do or change something it shouldn't take one specific day or tradition to make you do it. Then again, her being the klutz that she was, hers seemed to be a fairly reasonable goal.

"What about you, Pretty Girl?" he asked the girl sitting next to him who continued to look out at the crowd, not paying attention to the conversation. "Brooke?"

"Sell designs." she answered without turning towards them; apparently she hadn't completely zoned out their talk.

"Brooke." Haley stated, touching her fingers in her drink and flicking the moisture at the girl to finally get her attention. "What's up? You've been somewhere else all night."

'Sorry guys." she apologized to the table, "I was looking for Peyton."

"For real." Nathan began, "she's been kind of awol lately."

"Well she's working so we know she's here." Lucas stated. "Mom had her organize this whole deal. She's probably too crazed to step back and realize what an awesome job she did."

Brooke noticed Haley staring into her soda, moving the ice around with her straw while the guys continued to discuss the topic at hand. Clearly the blonde hadn't made an appearance during one of Brooke's trips to the bathroom or the times she'd dragged Lucas off onto the dance floor. Brooke had been holding out the benefit of the doubt for her, knowing that whatever her friend was going through had to be something she was taking painfully hard. Otherwise she would have come to her. She knew that pattern of Peyton. She'd hold on to it all on her own until it became too overwhelming and she either did something incredibly stupid or she finally forced herself to reach out.

As much as she loved that girl, she couldn't keep sitting by while she acted the way she had been. Whatever it was she was 'dealing with' the attacks on her roommate (in all obscure forms they were now coming in) had to stop, she thought she'd made that clear to her earlier that day. Suddenly standing up, prepared to raise a new hell until she dragged the blonde by her collar over to the table, Brooke turned to leave and had to freeze right away or she would have bumped right into...

"Peyton." she said surprised. "I was about to..." Brooke then turned back to the table."Lucas, dance with me."

Lucas only grinned at her and gave a mock salute as he rose from his chair.

"Yes ma'am." he stated playfully. "Hey Peyton, great job with the party."

"Thanks."

"Nathan, get Haley a drink." Brooke ordered.

"But, Brooke, I've already-" her statement was interrupted when Brooke grabbed her glass of the table and pulled Lucas away towards the dance floor. Haley sighed, amused at the behavior and turned to Nathan. "Don't be long. Almost midnight."

"Yes ma'am." he mocked his brother getting a playful smack from her. "I'll be right back. Hi Peyton."

With the table cleared, the two girls were left alone in the crowded club. After a second of standing awkwardly, the blonde spoke.

"Can I..." gesturing to the empty seat across from Haley.

"Yeah." she quickly answered. "You basically run the place, don't really need my permission, right?" Haley rambled anxiously.

"I would've come over sooner," Peyton excused, not really knowing where she was going to start or what she was going to say. "but I was doing, like, ten things."

"No, yeah. It's fine. I mean, you know, I understand." the words fell out of her mouth nervously. She hoped this was a good thing, she really wanted to fix their friendship. "Lucas was right, by the way. This is great."

"Thanks." she took a second looking down at the table a moment then back up. "So how are you?"

"I'm good." she answered making sure she could be heard over the music. "You?"

"I'm alright." she lied in response. "So you and Nathan, you guys..you guys are good?"

"Yeah." she answered with a nod. "We're working on it and it's going well and things are...good."

"Good." she said the word again. "How was your Christmas?"

Haley took a few seconds before finally speaking; not answering the question.

"Peyton, what is this?"

"What's what?"

"This. You, here; talking to me like this." she elaborated." I mean, after everything, is this what's left? Small talk?"

The blonde sighed, their table a completely different atmosphere than the world around them, A whole other world altogether it seemed.

"Peyton." the other girl grabbing her attention again. "I want us to be friends again. I really want to be back in each others lives, but for real. Not like this; forced."

"You're right." she started. "I should have known this was stupid."

"No, hey. It's not stupid. I never said stupid." she defended. "It's just, it's not real. As much as it sucks, I'd rather have you honestly hate me than pretend like this."

"I don't hate you." she informed her after letting out a breath. "And I guess I started with the small talk stuff because it's safe and it's easier."

"Than what?"

"Than trying to tell you...trying to say I'm sorry." she stated, feeling a bit of weight lift off her chest. "The way I acted, the way I'm _actin_g_, _the things I said, the things I...things I did."

"You were upset." Haley replied, happy as hell that the direction of the conversation seemed to be heading the way she'd hoped. "But we can forget about it now. Start making it better, right?"

Peyton didn't answer, because the only answer that came to her was 'No.' No, it could get better because it would only get worse when she finally got the balls to admit the truth.

"I got the paints." she told her, changing the subject. "Thank you."

Haley let out a relieved breath. Apparently not caring if the answer had been avoided to her question.

"You did?" she asked with a smile. "Of course you did, I asked your dad to make sure you did and he wouldn't _not _give them to you."

Peyton felt herself chuckle at the tumbling ramble that was something of a signature for the girl speaking. It was a welcome familiarity.

"Haley." she said her name lightly, enjoying the easy moment that came with the trademark.

"Right." Haley said, taking it as a sign that she was falling into the habit she'd tried to break several times. "I was worried you wouldn't like them. You know, I don't know much about that stuff. I'm glad you like it. Wait, did you say you like them?"

"I do, they're awesome." she told her with a smile.

That was definitely not a lie. They were really nice, under better circumstances she'd have been more than happy to receive them.

"But..." she started, trying not to notice the way the girl's face fell at the one word. "..Haley, I can't accept them."

"What?" she asked, not expecting that at all.

"They're _really_ amazing." Peyton told her. "Really. And thank you for them and for the thought, it's just that-"

"They're from me." the girl finished somberly.

"No." she stated firmly and shook her head. "It's not like that. It's, you know, I know the brand and I know what it costs and it's too expensive."

"Peyton, I'm not trying to-to buy your friendship back if that's what you think I'm doing." she informed her.

"It's not." that was the truth; that though had never come across her mind. "But you've got hospital bills and rent and I doubt you're working right now. You need it more than-"

"I don't." she denied, shrugging her shoulders. "I really don't,. I've got money saved. From before, from the tour, I'm still getting some from the single."

Haley looked carefully at her after mentioning the music. She didn't want to spark up another round of hate from her just because she happened to bring up the initial cause of it in the first place. The blonde returned her cautious look with a despondent one of her own before continuing the conversation.

"Here." Peyton reached in her pocket and put a crumpled wad of bills on the table. "It's not what you paid for it, I know, but I didn't have the receipt so I had to go the, uh, the pawn shop. I'll be able to make the difference."

"What? You..." Haley stared at the money, letting the understanding of what just happened sink in. "Peyton, I don't care about the stupid money." she stated firmly. "I wanted to-"

"Repay me." Peyton finished. "I know. You want to do something for me, take it...and stop thanking me, ok? I don't deserve it; any of it."

"Two minutes!" someone hollered.

The girls turned towards the crowd, Haley caught sight of Nathan standing far enough off to keep an eye without being able to hear them. She knew he was waiting to come back and the announcement that the time was getting closer no doubt was making him impatient whether or not he'd show or admit it. She wanted it too, but she couldn't just leave this talk now.

"I've gotta go."

"No. You've got to tell me what's going on." Haley told her with force.

"Haley-"

"You came to me!" Haley reminded her. "You came here to talk to me, the least you can do is tell me something real...now! The real reason you're acting like this."

"Don't-"

"It's either the tour or something else." she kept going. "Do you forgive me for that or not? Did you mean your apology or not?"

"I did!" she shouted loudly right before the music was cut off. Karen got on stage with the microphone announcing that there was only sixty seconds left in the year. There was a round of applause before the crowd quieted down to prepare for the countdown.

"Let's bring up the woman responsible for all of this: Peyton Sawyer!" Karen called out and again their were cheers from everyone present. Peyton looked down for a second while it happened and heard Karen speak again over the speakers. "Peyton. Where's Peyton?"

"I gotta go." the blonde said once again to Haley.

"No, Peyton, we have to finish this." Haley told her. "You can't keep starting these conversations and saying these cryptic things and then take off in the middle of it. Why?"

"Haley, I..."she struggled to force the words out, instead all she managed was "I'm sorry."

Peyton pushed back her chair from the table to leave after saying so.

"No, Peyton-" Haley reached out across the table, grabbing her hand to stop her from leaving.

As soon as she got hold of it, she experienced another powerful flash attack her senses.

_It was freezing. _

_There wasn't a part of her that didn't feel the cold deep enough it hurt._

_"Come on, sweetie. Stay awake. Stay - " Peyton cut off her own words, replacing them instead with a harsh order. "Haley, stop it!"_

Haley pulled away from her hand as if it burned her, the impact of the flash surprising her. Peyton didn't wait for her to have a chance to say or ask anything about it; she was gone.

A new voice spoke; Nathan's voice.

"Haley." his hand on her back while he put her new drink on the table. She turned towards him and he could see the remnants still lingering in her eyes. "Are you ok?"

"Kiss me." she told him.

"What?" he asked with a surprised smile, gesturing to the crowd that had started counting down. "We've still got-"

"I don't care." she informed him. "I just need to – Just kiss me."

He didn't argue any further, Nathan did as she requested. He made the mental note to ask her later what happened with Peyton, but at that moment she needed something and he needed to give it to her.

"Five!...Four!..." the crowd shouted around them as they continued to give their attention only to each other. "...Three!...Two!...One!"

On the dance floor, Lucas and Brooke were indulging in the grand tradition and indulging in doing so, indulging in each other.

Everyone around the two couples continued cheering when the confetti fell over them all, covering them in a shower of colors. All but the four of them and the blonde who sat on the steel steps outside the club shouting in unison.

"Happy New Year!"

-

-

-


	24. Alive With The Glory Of Love

**A/N: Fun Fun Exciting News from me for you! I just finished writing out the chapter where the everything comes out! I hope that makes you guys as excited as it made me. I was super thrilled that I had written it, big deal as far as this lady's concerned. It's not this chapter so apologies if I got your hopes up. It's only 3 installments away! **

**-**

**-**

* * *

"_I'll dream about you. _

_I will not doubt you with the passing of time  
Should they kill me, _

_your love will fill me, as warm as the bullets "_

_'Alive With The Glory Of Love'_

-Say Anything

* * *

-

Brooke's chest heaved up and down as she took deep panting breaths into her lungs. She could hear his breaths, coming and going in a similar pattern to hers. The heavy lustful breathing accompanied by the sound of her own heart beating with the familiar fire in her chest.

She arched her back, bringing more of her bare skin in contact with his; the two of them moving in synch with one another. She felt the muscles in his back tense beneath her palms as the two of them came closer and closer to their moment. She couldn't keep the moan from escaping even if she wanted to. Escaping in the form of his name.

"Lucas."

Here it was. She felt it coming, just about to take her over.

Almost...

Brooke's eyes shot open when she felt something hit her face that didn't coincide with the moment she'd just been experiencing. She looked around and saw the pillow that had just hit her, then saw her roommate standing in the doorway of their shared room.

"Wow." she commented, then asked teasingly as Brooke sat up and faced her. "Sweet dreams?"

"They were until some bitch interrupted them." she told her, then in a whiny voice flopped back down and hugged the pillow to her body. "Why?"

"Sorry but I had to once you started saying my best friend's name out loud. I had to put a stop to it before I got a visual." she informed her. "Plus, big day: vacation's officially over, back to school. Come on."

"Ugh, why'd I room with a nerd." she groaned into her pillow, missing the dream already. Haley laughed at her, knowing it wasn't an actual insult.

"Because you love me."

"Not right now, I don't." she denied firmly. "I was just getting to the best part."

"Wow, again." Haley stated, sitting on the edge of the mattress. "I'm just glad I wasn't in bed when that whole thing started.

"Mmm. Who says you weren't." Brooke asked grinning at her pillow, then sat up to look at her. "You know, Lucas has _amazing _stamina."

"Oh God." Haley stated disgusted, pulling her crutches towards her to get up and leave. "There's that visual."

"I'm serious, we've missed movies before because he's so good." Brooke continued, laughing at the effect it had on her friend.

"Ok, that's enough." the girl stated leaving the room. "I can't hear this or I'm going to throw up."

"And I don't mean just missed the start time!" she called after her. "I mean the actual movie."

"Gross!" she heard Haley's voice from the other room.

Brooke laughed and bounced out of the bed and across the room towards the door.

"True story!" she said as she quickly went in the direction her roommate had disappeared in; unable to help herself from keeping it going. "My sexy little energizer bunny."

Brooke came into the living room saying that loudly and froze when she got there, the smile and all traces of the lightness immediately falling. Haley was holding the door open and Dan Scott was standing there in the doorway. The two turned towards her as she entered the area with her comment. Haley, upon seeing her, shifted the door so her father-in-law could no longer see as much of their apartment, therefore couldn't see her roommate in her sleeping attire.

Brooke realized quickly, looking down, she was in only a pair of boy shorts and a tank top. The brunette retreated to the room to throw something on. Haley cleared her throat as Dan's eyes were still peering past her where his view of her roommate had been.

"Did you want something?" Haley asked, getting his attention.

"I'm sorry," he falsely apologized, "I've forgotten what it was."

"Well if you remember, feel free to send a letter. You've got the address right? Great." she said dryly with an obviously false smile and moved to close the door but his hand stopped her.

"I'm sure you're used to it by now." he told her. "People getting distracted when they're talking to you. I've met your sister. That was a pleasure."

Haley inwardly groaned at his words; knowing they were meant to strike her. But really it mostly just irritated her. Taking in a breath, trying to let the insult roll away as she spoke.

"Why are you here?"

"I'd be a little more polite if I were you." he replied. "For the time being, I'm still your father-in-law after all."

"Trust me, that is polite compared to what I want to say." she informed him with narrow eyes. "I have to go to school, so ifyou're just playing games-"

"That's right, I remember now." he stated as if he'd just recovered it. "I don't have to tell you, or maybe I do. I don't know how up to date you are on things that actually matter. But the team's got a genuine shot at state this year. And when I say team, I mean Nathan. That means scouts. That means he has to be 100% focused on his game."

"And?"

"And I'm here to tell you what you're going to do." he started again. "Let him."

"You came here to tell me … to let Nathan do what he's already doing?" she asked unamused. "I don't know how your relationships work, but I don't _let _Nathan do anything. He's an adult, he can do what he wants."

"Is that why you haven't given up on this little game of yours yet?" he asked her. "If you'll let him do what he wants, really, you wouldn't be hanging on so desperately."

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked.

"The fact that you call it a relationship at all is a riot." he stated.

"Nathan and I-"

"Are done." he finished. "You're just too dense to see it, and he's too polite and horny to say it."

Brooke came out now, having thrown on a pair of jeans, a bra and a shirt, not paying much attention to what they were, just not wanting to leave Haley alone with him more than she had to. She did hear what Dan had just said, however, and it angered her as she quickly approached the two of them; about to give him a piece of her mind when Haley spoke up first.

"Is that why he told your parents about us?" Haley asked. "Is that why he stormed away from you that night?"

"And to think he used to go on about how smart you are. I'm disappointed." he informed her. "When did he take you back, Haley? Right after your little wintery adventure, right? Well he's not going to dump someone in the hospital. Even Nathan wouldn't do that."

"Glad to hear you have such a high opinion of your son."

"This is pity." he continued. "Once you're all better and there's no more little reminder about your accident, you'll see I'm right. Should save yourself the embarrassment and accept the inevitable. Your time in Nathan's life has an expiration date, and it's rapidly approaching."

"Ok, time for you to go." Brooke demanded, causing Dan to look at her, now dressed.

"I never did get that dance, Miss Davis." he commented.

"You mean at the wedding between your brother and the whore you hired to break his heart?" she asked. "Guess we need a rain check."

"You're wrong." Haley spoke firmly, refusing to believe his harsh words. "You'll see, when we're living our lives without you anywhere near Nathan. We love each other and that's not changing because you don't like it. None of your poison is going to touch it."

Dan shrugged and calmly stated to her. "Camera doesn't lie. Take it easy, knee injuries can get complicated."

He winked before turning to leave. Brooke slamming the door shut furiously behind him.

"What an asshole perv!" she growled at the door. "Ugh! How has he not just been struck down yet? Is anyone paying attention out there?" she shouted upwards towards the ceiling.

"What do you think he meant?" Haley asked nervously.

"I think he meant, 'I'm an evil prick who wants to make your lives miserable for fun."

"Camera doesn't lie." she repeated uncertainly. "What's that? Do you think he has some picture or something? Maybe something from the tour that looks like me and Chris were..." she trailed off, shaking her head. "If he shows Nathan all the progress we made could-"

"Hey, calm down." Ok?" Brooke instructed.

"But do you think-"

"I think he was messing with you." Brooke answered before she finished her question. "I think he was trying to get in your head to remind you that he's a bastard. And I think you did an awesome job telling him where to stick it."

"Thank you." she answered taking a breath to calm herself, already deciding she wasn't going to tell Nathan about the visit. It would only upset him. Looking at Brooke, she made an observation completely off subject. "That's my shirt."

Brooke glanced down and could've laughed at the bright blue tee shirt with Snoopy printed on it and spoke before leaving the room to change again.

"That was almost a disaster."

-

* * *

-

"You alright?" Brooke asked. "Need me to carry that?"

"Jeez, Brooke, seriously, knock it off." Haley instructed, having fine control of her book bag and the crutches at the same time.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it." Brooke stated. "My TutorGirl's first day back at school. I feel like a mom sending her kid to kindergarten for the first time. Well maybe not a mom, but definitely a big sister."

"When my mom asked Taylor to walk me to school she took me to the wrong one and left me there." Haley recalled as they moved down the hall.

"Wow. Bitch much?"

"Very much. But that's Taylor." she replied. "Anyway, it's everyone's first day back. No big deal."

"True, but none of them are my extra special roommate." she told her, as they reached the shorter girl's locker and came to a stop.

"Here we go." Haley announced.

"Ugh, this is so not fair." she complained realizing she now had to go to her locker which was across the school. "Stupid alphabetical system. You're with Nathan _and _Lucas and I've gotta go be all by myself."

"Maybe you and Lucas should just get married then." she joked. "Problem solved."

"Or I can trade with someone nearby." she suggested. "I'm known for my persuasive skills."

"Is that what you call it?" she teased, opening her locker door.

"Ha Ha." she answered sarcastically. "Ah! Here come the boyfriends!"

Haley looked up in the direction that had cheered her up so much. The two Scott's were coming their way.

"Hey you." Brooke greeted with a dimpled smile, he snaked his arm around her and kissed her.

"I haven't seen you since last year." he told her.

"Ooh." Haley voiced, wincing at the bad joke.

"He's been doing that all morning." Nathan told them, then mocked his brother. "Haven't had a morning practice since last year. Haven't made a shot like that since last year."

"Smooth, Luke." Haley laughed at her friend.

Brooke spoke up for her boyfriend.

"You know what else you haven't done since last year?" she asked raising her eyebrow and looking at Haley. "How about a movie tonight?"

"Sure." Lucas agreed, then looked at the other two. "You guys wanna-"

"No." Haley stated. "Never."

Brooke laughed while the guys didn't understand what for.

"Ok." Lucas replied confused, "just asking."

Nathan decided to dismiss the secret joke the girls had apparently shared and decided to just move on.

"Sorry I couldn't come by this morning." he apologized to Haley. "Early morning practice."

"It's fine." she nodded. "You know you don't have to come by every morning, it just makes it even better when I do see you."

He smiled at her words and leaned down for a quick kiss.

"That better too?" he asked.

"Every time." she answered smiling brightly. "Besides if you'd have come by this morning you'd have known why I'm never discussing movie plans with those two."

Brooke laughed at the comment and leaned further into Lucas.

"Yeah, plus I think we had enough visitors for one morning." Brooke remarked and regretted it right away seeing Haley shoot her a look at the words. Her brain lapsed and she forgot that her roommate strictly told her not to mention Dan's visit around Nathan.

"Someone came by this morning?" Nathan asked, followed by Lucas'.

"Who?"

"No one important." Haley answered when Brooke failed to come up with something to respond with. "Delivery guy knocking on the wrong door."

"Sucks." Nathan said. "But not really a big deal."

"He was rude." Brooke replied.

The bell rang warning them how much time they had to get to where they had to.

"Walk you to class?" Nathan offered,to which Haley responded with a nod and a smile.

"Brooke, wait a second." Lucas instructed, keeping them both standing at the locker. She looked at him with a kinked eyebrow.

"Already?" she leaned in and asked in a quiet voice. "Lucas Scott, you amaze me. How about the supply closet right over here."

She grabbed his hand and turned to lead him towards it but he kept his feet steady and pulled her back towards him.

"No not that." despite the seriousness of what he actually wanted to discuss with her, he had to grin at her antics.

"Oh." she sounded disappointed then felt slightly embarrassed at the assumption. "Then what's up?"

"What really happened this morning?" he asked her.

She didn't bother to ask how he knew; just chalked it up to Lucas being Lucas and knowing her to well for her to hide from. She let out a sigh and looked around, they were almost the only ones left in the hallway, and answered him with the truth.

"Dan came by."

"What?" Lucas asked with an anger coming through in his voice. "What did he want?"

"To intimidate, of course." she answered, the volume of her voice returning to normal when the last student left them alone in the hall. "To bully people into being afraid enough that he gets his way. Haley doesn't want Nathan to know and get upset."

"What did he say?" he asked, pissed at the man fate had stuck him with as a father.

"I didn't hear all of it." she told him. "But I got the main idea, which was pretty much basketball good, Haley not. He was just saying some really awful things about their relationship."

"That son of a bitch." he shook his head.

"He said something." Brooke spoke up to tell the rest of it. "Something like ...the camera doesn't lie?"

"What's that mean?" he asked. "What camera?"

"I don't know." she shrugged. "But it had Haley kinda freaked. She's worried that maybe he's got something from the tour that makes it look like her and Chris were doing more than singing together." she paused a second. "Do you think that's a possibility?"

"I've stopped putting things past what he's willing to do." he answered. "At this point I don't think there's much outside the range of Dan Scott's cruelty. But I'm not going to let him mess with them anymore."

-

* * *

-

The pen scratched his name on the line.

Pushing the sheet away, he answered the ringing phone without looking at it.

"Dan Scott." he answered, listening to the voice, looking up as he heard his office door close. Upon seeing his oldest son son, he abruptly spoke into the speaker. "I'm going to have to call you back. Alright."

Lucas stood across his desk, glaring at the man while he hung up the phone and gave him his full attention.

"Lucas." he greeted surprised. "You should be in school."

"I should also have a father I can be proud of." he answered, dropping his backpack on the floor.

Dan chuckled, amused by the response. He leaned back in his chair and threw up his arms as if confused.

"What now?" he asked, "What have I don't this time?"

"You know you are a piece of work." Lucas told him tightly and shook his head. "You just can't let anyone be happy."

"As fun as this is," Dan stood adjusting his jacket. "I do have things to do today. So why don't we just get to the part where you tell me what you're talking about?"

"I'm talking about you...and whatever games you're trying to play with Nathan and Haley." he told him. "I know you went by the apartment today and I know the things you said."

"A man can't come visit his daughter-in-law? See how she's recovering from an accident?" he asked innocently. "Is that a crime?"

"For a normal person, a person with a soul, that's true. But we both know you couldn't care less about the accident." Lucas stepped closer to the desk. "Back off of Haley and Nathan. He's your son, she's his wife. They're good for each other. They're happy together. Accept it and stay the hell away."

"The feelings he has for her are equivalent to those you get from sitting near a jet in a hot tub."

"I mean it Dan." he stepped right up to him. "I don't want to hear anything more about surprise visits to the apartment. Stay the hell away."

"Or." he asked goading him, and the teenager threatened darkly.

"Or you'll see exactly how much of my father I have in me."

-

-


	25. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

**I just couldn't wait to get another one up here for you guys. Mainly because I have them all written out and really really really want to see what you guys think when you finally get what you've been asking for; which will be in the very next update! I merged 2 chapters together to make this one. So it's kinda long, hope you're excited! **

**Time jump being let's say a few weeks, I didn't have anything specific, but the exact amount really doesn't matter. Just a small amount of time. That's all.**

**Here we go!**

-

* * *

"_Stop right there that's exactly where I lost it_

_See that line I never should have crossed it_

_Stop right there, I never should've said that_

_It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back."_

_-'Who I Am Hates Who I've Been'_

Relient K

* * *

-

"You're leaving early." Dan noted aloud, surprised to see his son exiting out the front door only moments after he had himself. Standing at his car, he asked. "Practice?"

"Nope." Nathan answered, tossing his backpack in the passenger side of his car, which looked like a poor excuse for a vehicle when parked in the driveway beside his father's newest shining model. "Not today."

"Well that just proves Whitey's an idiot." Dan commented smugly opening his door. "But you're keeping your head in the game. That's my boy. So where to? Weight room?"

"Haley's." Nathan answered tilting his head a bit at the man. "Still your boy?"

"Nathan," Dan started, closing his door and forgetting all about getting to the office early. "Hasn't this little game gone on long enough by now?"

"This isn't a game, Dad." he stated. "Haley and I are not a game. Basketball – that's a game. This is my life."

"So basketball's not your life anymore? Is that it?"

"Not the only part." he answered. "Definitely not the most important part."

"Don't you understand, Nathan? You got so close." he informed him. "When you chose to let go and move back here. When you signed those papers...you were _right there_. Thinking clearly for the first time in months. Don't fall back. Especially now. It's your senior year, the scouts will be be all over games if you give them a reason to be. This is when you need to be perfect. You need to be more focused then ever. And you can't do that if you're too distracted by some fairytale notion of-"

"I'm not talking about this Dad." he shook his head. "I'm not. What I _am_ going to do is go have breakfast with my wife."

"Your wife." he repeated, shaking his head. "If I thought that was a joke I'd tell you how old it's getting. I'll tell you just like I told her-"

"What? Like you told her?" Nathan interrupted him quickly, his irritation turning to anger and he stepped away from his car and towards his father. "You talked to her?"

Dan looked at him a curiously a moment before stating. "Well that's interesting. I was sure she'd tell you."

"Tell me what?" he asked with a tight jaw.

"I stopped by."

"You-" he took in a breath to keep his temper in check. "You stopped by. When? What did you say?"

"A few weeks ago." he told him. "I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"Dad!" his father didn't respond at Nathan's statement, so his son pointed at him threateningly. "Stay the hell away from her."

-

* * *

-

Brooke came back to the bedroom at the sound of her name, finding her roommate searching through the bedside table.

"Looking for something?" she asked from the door way.

"The support sleeve." she stated, looking for the black item she now wore on her leg in place of the brace she no longer required. "I actually get to walk like a human being again but I can't find it."

"Where'd you leave it?"

"Right here." she answered, patting the surface of the night stand as she looked through it's drawer. "Have you seen it?"

"You mean..." Brooke went to her dresser and opened her drawer. "this?"

"What the hell did you do?"

Haley's eyes widened at the sight of it.

"Bedazzled it." Brooke answered and tossed the garish jeweled object towards her. "To celebrate."

"Oh my God." Haley muttered looking at the hideous thing in her hand.

"Relax." her roommate told her laughing. "I'm just messing with you. Here."

Brooke pulled another from her drawer with amusement and walked over to the girl to hand it to her.

"You know these things are only, like, eight bucks at the drug store?" she mused holding it out for her to take.

"Not cool." Haley stated with taking the real one from Brooke.

"Come on." Brooke said with a smile. "That was funny."

"I can see how it would be from your side of it." Haley told her, cracking a small smile regardless while she put on the accessory; sliding it up her leg to rest snug around the recovering joint.

"Excited to be part of the walking world again?" Brooke asked to which Haley smiled, already forgiving the joke.

Haley was even more excited about it because she hadn't told Nathan, yet, that her therapist declared her graduated from the crutches and the hard brace after their last session. But he'd told her he would come by that morning before school. She would surprise him with it then.

"I'm sure boyfriend will be delighted." Brooke state just before they heard a knock on their front door. "Speak of the devil."

Haley followed Brooke out the room, feeling a bit off center putting all her weight on her leg without the aid of the instruments. She could feel, in walking on it, that it was certainly on the weak side, but it was on the road back to normal. She opened the door to Nathan who immediately spoke before she had the chance to greet him in any way.

"Did my Dad come here?" he asked right away. Haley felt the smile immediately fade away.

"Yes." she answered simply, then stepped aside while he came in with a frustrated sigh.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked with an edge in his voice.

"I'm gonna..." Brooke gestured to the door, signaling she would leave them to their privacy. Haley nodded, Brooke giving her a reassuring touch to her shoulder as she passed. The girl waited until she was gone before she tried to speak; Nathan quickly asking his question again.

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want to upset you." she answered.

"Did _he_ upset _you_?" he asked the more important question in his mind.

"Nathan-"

"What did he say?"

"It's nothing."

"Tell me." he told her.

"I don't know, Nathan. He was, he was being himself. He talked about you focusing on basketball and that the two of us are in some horny denial."

"Anything else?" he asked, knowing there was more to it. He could see something in her eyes when he brought it up that told him there was something that happened during his father's visit that struck her deeply, though she tried to shield it away.

"He said," she licked her lips and restated the painful words quietly. "he said you felt sorry for me. That you wouldn't be with me if I hadn't been hurt and that you'd be gone when I got better."

Nathan felt his anger boil over at hearing the words. He clenched his fist tightly at his sides for a few moments, tightening his jaw. Forcing himself to let out a breath; attempting to calm his temper, making sure it was directed towards the deserving person and not a bystander. Another breath and then he stepped up to her, keeping less than a foot between their bodies.

"You don't believe him, do you?" he asked. She shook her head side to side and cleared her throat to ensure her voice would work.

"No."

"Good." he answered, putting his hands on either side of her face. "Because it's not true. Any of it, everything he said. I'm not going anywhere. This is what matters. " he grabbed her hand with both of his. "Me and you."

"Nathan," she started. "you know nothing happened with me and Chris right? You believe me, right? You trust me?"

"Yes." he answered. "I do. Why?"

"Something else your dad said." she told him, closing her eyes a moment. "It doesn't matter as long as you know that. Promise you won't buy into it if he tries to say or convince you that anything happened."

"Ok." he answered with a nod.

"Promise me that you believe me. That you'll feel the same way, that same belief, if he tries it." she asked of him again. "Please, just _promise_ me Nathan."

"I promise." he assured her, seeing how desperate she was for it. Then he pulled her body against his. "Come here."

She allowed herself to move into him, feeling his strong arms wrap around her small body. Haley slid hers around him too, sighing into his chest.

"Hey." he spoke up without breaking from the embrace. "Your crutches are gone."

She smiled against him.

"Don't need them anymore." she replied. "I'm getting better."

"And I'm still here." he stated, resting his chin on her head. "I always will be."

She closed her eyes and breathed him in, letting his words seep into her head and wrap themselves around heart. The comforting contact lasted a few moments more before she finally pulled back.

"We're gonna be late for school."

"I have an idea. Let's forget it today." he replied, continuing after the look she gave him. "I'm serious; spend the day together. Let's celebrate and forget about school, or ball, or Dan. Let's just be together. What do you say?"

"Let's do it."

-

* * *

-

A knock pulled her from a light sleep.

Opening her eyes she groaned to her motel room before rising at the second round of knocks. She'd admit to only being partly surprised by her early morning visitor. Who else in this town would be knocking on her door?

"Hi." Peyton greeted as soon as the door was opened by her biological mother.

"What are you doing here?" Ellie asked curiously.

"Peace offering." the girl responded, holding up a cup of coffee she'd purchased on her way over.

"Are we at war?" Ellied asked as she accepted it.

"Well last time we talked I was kind of a bitch." Peyton reminded her in case she'd forgotten. "Plus, my mom and dad loved waking up early, so I figured I had to get my hate for early mornings from someone right?"

"That's definitely my DNA." she answered lightly, then asked. "Don't you have school?"

"Yeah." she answered. "But being late today really won't tip the scale too much for me in anyway. Just another drop in the bucket. I wanted to talk to you, if that's ok.

"Well as your mother I guess I should lecture you about the importance of school." Ellie started. "But on the other hand, come on in."

The curly haired girl did so and stood a moment in the room, looking it over before turning back around to face her.

"So what's up?" Ellie asked. "Everything ok?"

"I wanted to tell you I'm sorry." Peyton started. "I know it's been a while and I should've come by sooner, but when we spoke in the hospital and I said those things to you; blamed you for the mess I was in. You were only trying to help. I shouldn't have acted that way."

"I think the whole car accident thing gives you some leeway for that...Some." she told her. "So thank you for the apology."

Peyton then nodded and felt a small smile creep when she heard Ellie forgive her awful behavior.

"How's that going, by the way?" the older woman asked. "With your friends?"

"Actually, really awkward and just not very good." Peyton confessed putting her hands in her pockets. "But that's the other thing I came for. I've been thinking a lot, which is really all I can do when I'm practically hiding from everyone. Anyway, I'm just going to come clean about it all. For real, I have to. You were right. I should have right away, but I didn't. The reason I kept if for so long is because I was afraid of losing everyone when they found out. But keeping the stupid secret, I'm already doing that and losing myself too in the process. I can't do it anymore."

"I'm proud of you Peyton." she told her, "It's not going to be easy, but it's the right thing to do for everyone."

"I know." she nodded. "And I think it's the only way to get Haley to stop trying to thank me. Every time she does I feel horrible."

Ellie gave a small chuckle and put her hands on her daughter's shoulders.

"It'll be ok, Peyton." she told her, feeling the nerves radiating off her. "Your friends love you, anyone can see that. When are you telling them?"

"Today." she answered. "After school."

-

* * *

-

"Hey stranger." Brooke turned around surprised by the greeting.

"No stranger than you." Brooke commented upon seeing her friend. She smirked at her own remark and also the grin Peyton gave her in return. "A smile. What's the occasion?"

"Nothing." Peyton answered shrugging her shoulders. She'd actually ended up having a pretty good morning. After their initial conversation, Peyton and Ellie grabbed breakfast together and ended up just walking around and talking for a while; mostly about music. She'd missed a two classes, but didn't care. "Just miss hanging out with you, best friend."

"Didn't have to miss me. I'm not the one who's been away." Brooke answered.

"Well I'm here now." Peyton told her. "I was thinking I'd come over to your place after school, there's some stuff I want to talk to you guys about. And I'm free for lunch."

"Let's go." Brooke smirked closing her locker and turning to walk with her friend.

They found an empty table in the courtyard under a good amount of sun. Sitting across from Brooke, Peyton asked: "Where's Haley?"

Brooke eyes her after her words; trying to determine the motive in the question.

"Innocent, I promise." Peyton stated after seeing the look she was given. "I didn't see her when I crept into the end of English. She sick or something?"

"Nah." Brooke answered. "I'd say she's probably feeling great right about now."

"What's that mean?" she asked with a laugh.

"Exhibit A." Brooke handed her phone over to Peyton. "Read my last text."

Peyton took the phone and read it as she was told. Right away she scrunched up her face and shoved it back to the brunette with a grimace.

"Ugh, Brooke!" she exclaimed. "Why'd you do that?" What's that have to do with anything?"

"What?" Brooke asked confused then looked for herself curiously to see what caused the reaction from her friend. "Oh. Whoops."

"Yeah." Peyton nodded cynically. "Whoops."

"Forgot Lucas was kind of bored in Chemistry." she said, slightly embarrassed. "He knows how to rock the dirty text, doesn't he?"

"I didn't read enough of it to be a critic. Jeez!"

"Sorry, sorry. Don't be a baby." Brooke dismissed, happy to once again be laughing at with her best friend. Then finding the correct one, Brooke read aloud. "Not coming to school. Spending the day with Nathan. XO, TG."

"TG?"

"TutorGirl." Brooke explained. "But, you understood now, that they're both far from sick."

"Where as you and Lucas are completely sick."

"Shut up." she demanded playfully. "You're just jealous."

Peyton's smile fell just a bit and she confessed. "Yes, actually."

Brooke suddenly felt like an idiot remembering how difficult it had been on the blonde when Jake left town for the second time.

"I'm sorry, Peyton." she apologized. "I know Jake leaving-"

"It's ok." she assured. "Um, I actually meant I'm jealous of you and Haley."

"What?" Brooke asked with a short laugh. "Why?"

"Come on, you guys are like best friends now." she stated. "I know it's petty but you were my friend first. My best friend, my B. Davis."

"I'm still your B. Davis." she answered. "And you're my best friend Peyton."

"I know." she answered. "But you have to admit it's not like it was."

"Maybe." Brooke admitted, knowing it was easily the truth. "But we're not the same people we were then either. Maybe that's what's changed."

"Maybe." Peyton agreed. "But you'll always be my best friend. No matter what people we become."

"Back at you P. Sawyer." Brooke told her putting a hand over hers. "Enough of this. I'm supposed to meet Lucas at his locker."

"Didn't see that part of the text message." Peyton teased as they rose to leave.

-

* * *

-

"What're you doing here?" Lucas asked defensively as he saw the man in the hallway; he hadn't seen or heard anything of the man since he last spoke to him in his office. Since he'd laid down the warning that he needed to stay away from the people Lucas cared about.

Dan looked at his son and immediately explained himself as if it were obvious.

"Little discussion with your coach." he told him. "Morning practice should be everyday. Not this pansy twice a week stuff. Consistency is good for the game."

"Really?" he asked. "And this wouldn't have anything to do with how Nathan spends morning when he doesn't have practice."

"Since you brought it up," he began. "where is my son and his lesser half?"

"Like I'd tell you." Lucas walked away, knowing full well niether were there at school.

The foul air around him vanished as soon as he was within view of his locker and saw Brooke already there waiting for him. He paused to take a mental picture of her just then. Talking with Peyton, leaning on his locker and laughing about something. His heart sped up at just the simplicity of it.

Approaching them, he could already feel the smile coming to his face before he actually reached her.

"There you are." she smiled upon seeing him.

"Here I am." he replied, immediately pulling her against him for a kiss.

"Wow." Peyton's voice got his attention and he realized he'd forgotten himself within her.

"You can say that again." Brooke breathed, having been caught off guard by the intensity of the kiss. "What was that for?"

"For you." he answered.

"Someone's having a good day." she noted.

"It's always a good day when I get to see you."

"Ok." Peyton spoke up before they could kiss again. "Right here."

Lucas snapped out of it, draping his arm over his girlfriend and addressing Peyton.

"Sorry." he apologized though he wasn't at all. "What's up?"

"Peyton's decided to rejoin the human race." Brooke told him and the blonde shrugged.

"Good to have you back." Lucas commented. "It' really _is_ a good day."

"And it'll only get better." Brooke speculated, as she slid her hand into his while the three walked down the hall that was quickly regaining it's crowded population.

Their eyes and the eyes of everyone else were suddenly drawn upward. The screen that had previously shown the days announcements now showed a speaking Tim Smith.

"What the hell?" Brooke asked.

Tim's voice filled the now silent hall as he listed girls he'd "been with." Realization quickly hit as another student replaced Tim's image and voice with her own.

"You guys," Peyton spoke. "that's the time capsule."

-

* * *

-

"Remember the first time we came here?"

Nathan asked sitting in the sand as she laid against his chest, both of them facing the water.

"You mean when I threw up on your dad?" she asked, feeling him chuckle behind her.

"That was great." he commented lightheartedly.

"That was awful." she disagreed, laughing lightly as well. "So embarrassing."

"But we were here once before that, though." he reminded her, resting his cheek on her hair as he recalled. "The party; when Lucas left and I found you on the pier over there."

"Does that count?" she asked, sliding her fingers smaller hand into his. "I mean, we weren't together then."

"It does count." he answered, looking at their hands entwined. "That was the night I opened up to you about basketball, remember?"

"I do." she recalled that conversation.

"And that was the night, the very first moment in my life, that I wished I was different. A better person." he confessed. "Sitting on the pier with you, I wanted to be someone good enough for you. Someone who could have a future with you. I didn't say it until later, but I loved you that night."

"You were always a good person, Nathan." she told him, refusing to take credit for the amazing man he was. "You just didn't believe it. But you want to know something?"

"Tell me." he requested.

"I remember sitting with you in the car after you drove me home and wishing I were Peyton." she chuckled a bit at her own words as she could feel his disbelief at her confession. "Just for a minute, I wanted to be her because she was someone you wanted. I loved you the moment you showed me your heart. When you let me passed all the bull you put on for everyone else and I never wanted to leave."

Nathan brought her hand up and placed a kiss on it after hearing her story. Then letting out a content sigh, he settled his arms back around her midsection and took in the smell of the breeze off the water. He felt her relax more into his body.

"This was a good idea." she stated, looking over the beach they sat on.

"The best." he replied.

Not long after, they went back to the apartment. Nathan carrying the Chinese food they got for lunch while she opened the door for him. Sitting on the couch, the food on the table in front of them, Haley took a few seconds to look at him. Just to take him in, there with her. He took a bite of lo mein and happened to glance her direction. Catching her watching him, he swallowed his food and faced her curiously.

"What?" he asked, wondering if he had some food on his face. She just smiled at him, and he couldn't help but smile in return; asking again. "What?"

"Come here." she instructed, getting a grip on his shirt and pulling him towards her.

He obliged, leaning in to connect their lips. What he'd assumed to be a quick kiss, surprised him by being more. Before he could even try to break away, she was pulling him further into her. The take-out box fell forgotten from his hands, he heard it hit the ground and found how little he cared that he had just spilled food on their carpet. She maneuvered beneath him so she was lying the length of the couch and he was above her, using one hand and one knee respectively to keep from putting all his weight on her.

It felt so good. _She_ felt so good beneath him, filling his senses and living within him.

His breath hitched when he felt her slender fingers at the waist of his jeans. Nathan pulled back just enough to look into her eyes and speak breathlessly to her.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes." she nodded quickly, answering in the same airy tone. It had been a long time since they'd been together that way. They'd been taking things slowly and had yet to take their renewed relationship to the level they were fast approaching now. But she knew without an ounce of doubt that she wanted this. "I love you, Nathan. I'm ready. I want this."

He smiled at her and returned his mouth to hers. Letting his hands slip under the hem of her shirt and lightly travel up her skin.

The door suddenly flew open, and Nathan jerked away in surprise and Brooke came storming through the front door.

"Oh my God. Oh my God." she muttered going straight through the living room and towards the back.

"Brooke, what-" the closing bedroom door cut Haley's question in half. She gave Nathan an apologetic glance and he nodded, lifting himself from her completely, so she could stand up and go after her. The couple followed the same path she'd taken.

"Brooke." Haley greeted entering the room. Her roommate was face down on the bed. "Brooke it's 12:30, what are you doing home? What happened?"

"Turner canceled classes but not in time to keep me from the most embarrassing moment of my life!"

"Brooke what happened? What are you talking about?"

There was a loud knock on the front door, Brooke responded right away.

"If that's Lucas, I don't want to see him!" she announced.

"It can't be that bad." Haley offered.

"Oh yeah?"

She got up and pulled out the laptop. Haley looked at Nathan, confused and curious as to what Brooke was planning on showing them when they heard the door open and Lucas call out for Brooke. Nathan held up a hand, stating he would take care of it, and left the bedroom.

"Here." Brooke told Haley, pulling her attention to the screen.

"That's Tim." Haley stated obviously as her husbands best friend began speaking in the window Brooke opened.

"Who cares about him?" Brooke asked dramatically, skipping ahead until she got where she needed. "Look."

"Ok, it's you." Haley noted, then saw what upset Brooke so much. "Oh...All of you."

"The whole school saw this!" Brooke announced. "Stupid time capsule!"

"Did everyone make one?" Haley asked curiously.

-

* * *

-

"How upset is she?" Lucas asked as soon as he entered and saw his brother.

"Pretty upset." he told him. "What the hell is going on? What'd you do?"

"I didn't do anything." he defended. Shaking his head. "Man you picked the right day to skip." Lucas informed his brother.

"What is going on?"

"Someone opened the time capsule and it played through the whole school."

"What?" Nathan asked, "How?...Who?"

"Don't know." he answered. "But everything anyone said was just out there for everyone to hear. Not pretty, man. Those things were never meant to be seen or heard by any of us. On top of that, it's online too."

"Online?" Nathan repeated, suddenly panicked. He turned from his brother and ran back to the room; bursting through the door he spoke. "Haley, don't -"

"_...marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life."_

He froze, his heart in his throat, seeing her in front of that angry version of him, watching him say those hurtful words. He looked from Lucas to her again, she paused the video; stopping it before the next student could spill their guts.

"Haley, I-" he started, wanting to explain but was cut off by her quiet voice.

"I, um, I'd like to be alone for a minute." she told him without turning to face him; a tear on her cheek.

He really didn't want to leave like this. With only those words bouncing in her head. But after some silence, he told her.

"I'll go."

-

* * *

-

His light eyes found her as soon as he turned his car into the park.

He knew there was a fairly decent chance he'd find her there. Turning off his car, the light that illuminated her from his headlights flicked away as he did so, he got out of his car. She said nothing as he approached her where she sat on the old wooden picnic table. He sat down next to her without a word. He always meant to ask her why she so often chose to sit on the table rather than the set of bleachers on the opposite side of the court, but he never actually did. The same would go for this time. They remained silently together until he asked:

"You walk here?"

"Most of the way." she confessed knowing he wouldn't like the answer, she wasn't supposed to overdue it so soon on her knee, the thought hadn't come to her until she started feeling the strain of it and knew it was a bad idea. ""Took the bus the rest."

He sighed but decided to not dwell on that. Instead he just remained seated beside her, skimming his eyes past the court and bleachers to take in the lights of the Riverwalk across the water.

"Thank you." she told him, finally breaking the silence, elaborating when he turned to look at her. "For the things you said about me in your time capsule. At least the future will know _someone_ liked me."

"You know he didn't mean it." Lucas replied. "He was just angry and so hurt. It wasn't real."

"I know." she said. "And I shouldn't even be upset by it. I mean, I can't be, right? After what I did to him, it's only fair."

"But the guy in the video isn't Nathan. He's not the guy you married and he's not the guy you've been with since you got back. The real Nathan is the guy who's waiting for you to call and tell him it's ok." Lucas informed her. "That was someone else; someone who left the day he saw you again."

"It's just the timing, you know?" she mused. "We're just getting back on our feet, and then this happens to remind us."

"Well, use it." he told her. "remind yourselves how far you've come. How far you're gonna go."

She offered him a smile and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her to lean again him.

"Thank you." she told him. "How'd it go with Brooke?"

"I told her she looked beautiful." his words made his best friend laugh.

"Did that work?"

"Yes and no." he admitted with a grin.

"It was so much simpler back here, wasn't it?" she asked, looking out at the court they'd practically grown up on.

"Sure was." he confessed. "You and me against the world. Us vs. Them forever."

"Yeah." she sat up a little straighter. "Do you ever miss it?"

"Sometimes. Parts of it." he answered. "Things were easier. We knew who the good guys were and who the bad ones were. But then I look at what might have never happened if we never left. The Ravens. Brooke. Getting to know my brother."

"Me marrying your brother." Haley suggested.

"Nah." he answered. "You guys would've found your way to each other regardless."

"You think so?" she asked with a smile.

"I know so."

"Thank you Lucas." she relied. "Seriously I don't know what I'd ever do without you."

"Seriously," he began. "You never have to find out. I'm always going to be here for you Hales."

"Cross your heart?" he chuckled at her and replied.

"Cross my heart."

"Thank you." she told him. "And for the record, you and Brooke would've happened no matter what."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." she answered with another smile. After a second she looked out across the dark park. "Drive me home?"

"Of course."

-

* * *

-

The phone rang and Nathan immediately picked it up.

"Hello?" he greeted anxiously.

"It's ok."

He breathed a sigh of relief at hearing her voice.

"Haley, I'm so sorry." he began apologizing. "What I said-"

"Doesn't matter." she finished. "It's ok. We're ok."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure." she told him. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." he said happily. "Yeah, I have morning practice, but I'll find you as soon as I get back."

"I love you."

He smiled, letting out another breath.

"I love you too."

-

-


	26. Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes

**A/N: Alrighty, starting this one up right after posting the previous chapter. So I have no idea your feedback or opinions on it so far. But I still have about an hour and change before my next class starts and I'm damn excited about this. So I'm getting to work on this one! Hope you like it...this is the one you've been waiting for. It comes out here.**

_-_

_-_

* * *

"_When it all goes to hell_

_Will you be able to tell_

_Me you're sorry with a straight face?"_

_'Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes'_

-Fall Out Boy

* * *

-

The roommates entered school together and Brooke finally had to ask what she'd been biting back all morning.

"What's up with you?" she asked. "I thought you and Nathan were cute and lovable again."

"We are." she answered.

"Ok?" she waited for the girl to elaborate. When she didn't Brooke took it upon herself to keep it going. "Come on, you've been suspiciously in thought all morning. If it's not about Naley status, what's going on?"

"Just thinking about the time capsule." she answered.

"Ugh. Can we forget about that awful things already?" she suggested. "You and Nate are good. And the whole stupid world and saw me flash my girls. I'd like to pretend it never happened, especially Dim telling the people of the future that he was anywhere close to Brooke Davis."

Haley dismissed Brooke's words. It wasn't what was actually on the time capsule that was bothering her, though even knowing they weren't true remembering Nathan's harsh words was a painful task. It was specifically the capsule's release that was sticking on her mind. Someone had to have done it; someone with a reason to let everyone see everyone else's secrets. Or maybe it was specifically meant for _one_ person to see _one_ taped confession.

"_Camera doesn't lie."_

Was this Dan's doing? Was it what he had meant when he said those words? Maybe he'd done it, wanting her to see what Nathan had said about her and their marriage while she was away in hopes it would hinder their evolving reconciliation.

"You're right." she replied, not wanting to focus anymore on the speculation dancing in her head. "We should just forget about it. I mean there's more important things happening right?"

"Much more important, much happier things." Brooke agreed as Haley stopped in front of the Tutor Center. Brooke paused too, confused a moment and asked. "You're not going to you're locker first? I thought you wanted to see Peyton for the-"

"I do, I just don't want to go all the way to my locker if I don't have to." she answered. "But if you see Peyton, could you send her this way?"

"Why not just come with me?" she suggested.

"Come on Brooke."

"Fine." she relented. "God you're grumpy without your morning make-out."

"I'm not grumpy." she defended. " I just don't want to walk in a circle if I don't have to."

Brooke listened to her statement and took her own interpretation of it. Stepping closer, she spoke seriously.

"Is it your leg?"

"It's fine." Haley replied, then telling her: "I _may_ have overdone it a bit yesterday, but it's fine. Just a little sore."

"You promise?"

"Yes, Brooke, I promise." she stated. "Can you please do what I asked?"

"Alright. Only because I sort of like you."

"Love you too, Tigger."

Brooke easily found her friend at her locker with her face looking intently inside. To get her attention, Brooke knocked loudly on the locker next to her.

"Hey Blondie." Brooke greeted, then looked at the large white block words on her hoodie and kinked her eyebrow as she commented suggestively. "It certainly is."

Peyton followed her eyesight and looked down at the words printed on her clothes _'Love is the movement._ "You _have_ to know that's not what this means."

"Duh." she replied. "But I like to make it more fun."

Peyton laughed at her friend just being herself.

"Hey, you know you never came over yesterday." Brooke informed her of what she already knew. "You said you wanted to tell me something."

"Yeah, I figured with you earning your beads for the school, I better let you and Lucas deal with that."

"Good call." Brooke mused. "So tell me now."

Peyton opened her mouth and stuttered a bit before saying.

"It's not really something to do here."

"Really?" Brooke asked with a smile, excited by the possibility of new gossip. "Now you _have_ to tell me."

"I mean it, Brooke." he told her. "Not here."

"Come on. What could be _that_ bad?" she asked desperate to hear it now. "Who's it about? Oh my God, is it me? Are people believing that Tim thing?"

"What? No." Peyton laughed off.

"Ok, just give me a hint. Maybe I already know."

"You really don't." Peyton assured her.

"Fine, Ms. Cryptic." she consented. "Tell me later. I bet I already know it anyway. That's why you don't want to tell me." she sighed. "Haley's at the Tutor Center, she wants to see you."

"What about?"

"Don't know." Brooke said in a sing-song voice that told Peyton that she actually did know.

"Brooke..." she said warningly. "What's up?"

"Promise you'll act surprised." Brooke started, ready to give it up.

"Oh no." Peyton knew what that meant. "She didn't get me anything else did she?"

"Trust me, you will not return or pawn it." Brooke said excitedly. "I'll tell you what it is, because I wanna see your face, but just promise when you see her-"

"No." Peyton interrupted. "I don't want to know what it is. I don't want it."

"Ok, this whole humble Peyton is nice of you, but trust me-"

"No, Brooke. I don't want anything." she interrupted sharply. "God, why can't she just listen?"

"Alright," Brooke began at her outburst, "Maybe you should talk now before I slap the crazy out of you."

"I told you-"

"No you didn't. You didn't tell me anything." she stated firmly. "Now or never. Let's go."

Peyton looked around, really really not wanting to do this there in front of a possible audience. If this ended up as the bad scenarios she'd imagined did, it would definitely make a scene for their classmates to watch. But as Brooke told her, it was now or never. Enough chickening out.

"I can't...I can't take anything from her or even be around her really, because..." the blonde took a breath. Now or never. "...because it was my fault."

"Pey-"

"Brooke." Peyton firmly interrupted her, holding up her hands to stop her. Knowing if she let her friend continue it would only convince her to back out. So she would make it impossible to do so.

Before Brooke could start again, Peyton reached in her still open locker, on the shelf behind the sketchpad, she pulled out the pencil box. Opening the lid, she pulled out what she'd hidden in there, throwing the tin box carelessly back inside. Then held up the object for Brooke to see. The protests died on Brooke's lips as her eyes widened.

"Is that?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Where'd you find it?" Brooke asked. She'd tore through the rental when Haley asked about it after waking in the hospital. By now they'd both sadly assumed it must have been lost in the snow.

"I didn't find it." Peyton told her.

"I don't understand."

Peyton took a breath to steady her voice, wanting to get it all out without wavering. She forced it out now.

"You know that fight we had?" she asked. "When we left the car and you came after us?"

"Yes." Brooke answered cautiously, unsettled by where this might be going.

"I took it from her." Peyton confessed nervously. Her eyes stung as she could see Brooke slowly taking in every piece of the story she heard. "She came out after me because I took it from her. And she...she went into the woods because she thought I threw it."

Brooke turned her head, glancing sideways at Peyton to ask cautiously.

"Why did she think that?" Brooke asked in a tone Peyton couldn't label.

"Because," Peyton took another breath, looking down to speak the next part. "I wanted her to think I did. I pretended to." she slowly brought her wet eyes up. "And she went after it."

With the confession out of her, Peyton's voice began to fall quickly:

"I'm sorry. Brooke, I'm so _so_ sorry."

Brooke stared at her blankly, her mouth slightly open. Peyton couldn't read her at all and that terrified her. Even at the angriest she'd seen her, she'd never just chosen silence. She wished she'd yell instead.

"I have to go." Brooke said in a detached voice.

She turned and walked away from her crying friend. After a few steps in the still crowded hallway, Brooke stopped and turned back around, returning to the girl. Emotion now in her voice.

"This whole time." Brooke started with disbelief and , yes, anger. "In the car, the hospital, everyday since we got back. This whole time." she put her hand through her dark hair, trying to get a grip on herself and failing. "You-You watched me worry about her. You cried when I cried. You listened to me blame myself."

"I told you it wasn't-"

"Of course it wasn't!" Brooke replied in a loud voice, not caring if anyone heard. "Because it was yours!"

"I didn't mean for it to happen." Peyton defended. "I-I didn't think-"

"What?" Brooke interrupted. "You didn't think she cared enough to go after it? Didn't think you'd feel guilty? Didn't think she'd live through it? What didn't you think about Peyton?!"

"Brooke, please."

"Oh my God, Peyton." Brooke spat with disgust, another thought coming to her. "She doesn't remember what the hell happened. That's been driving her crazy! Just like not knowing why she woke up without her ring; that ring. And all this time you had the answer to both!"

"I wanted to tell you!" Peyton answered desperately. "I just didn't know how or when."

"When?" Brooke repeated. "When?! How about one of the fifty times I asked you what was going on? How about when Haley was begging for _you_ to forgive _her_? How about every single second since it happened?" Brooke tore relentlessly into the girl. "You had _every_ opportunity but you chose to lie and hide and watch her fall over herself because she thinks she owes you! I didn't think you could ever do anything as twisted as what you did with Lucas, but this just...I don't know you and I don't want to."

"Brooke, listen, please. _Please_. I didn't say because I knew I'd lose you guys and I couldn't lose you. Any of you."

"Well not that's not true is it Peyton?" she asked spitefully. "There's one of us you were just fine with losing."

"Br-"

"Do you remember what you said when I first told you I was gonna be sharing the apartment with Haley?" Brooke paused a breath and continued. "You said if you could snap your fingers and make her disappear you would."

Brooke snapped her fingers fiercely.

"Guess what I wanted to happen."

"I'm sorry. I never wanted this to happen." she explained. "You have to believe me."

"How can I believe you?" she asked furiously. "All you've been doing lately is lying to everyone around you. How am I supposed to believe _anything_ that comes out of your petty mouth."

Grasping at straws, at anything that may help her hold on to her best friend, Peyton repeated the response Ellie had given her.

"But Brooke, if she had been in the car..." she started rambling. "It was her side, remember, It was where she would've been sitting that got the most damage. If she'd been there when the car hit-"

"Don't do that!" Brooke ordered, feeling tears of both anger and devastation boiling in her eyes. "Don't turn this around to make it seem like you did some kind of favor! Like what you did was for any reason other than you being a Grade-A bitch. That was luck, Peyton. The fact that you would try to sway me to forgive you by dangling the possibility of a friend's death in my face just shows me how very little I know you anymore."

"I'm sorry." she said for what felt like the millionth time. "I'm so sorry. God you have no idea how-"

"Stop!" she demanded. "Stop apologizing to me. Stop explaining yourself to me. Stop talking to me. There's one person you should be explaining yourself to; one person you should be begging on your God damn knees for forgiveness." Brooke informed her. "And she's at the Tutor Center."

" I know." Peyton told her. "I'm going to tell her today."

"You're going to tell her now." Brooke corrected.

"What?" Peyton shook her head. "No Brooke, the day hasn't even started yet. It'll ruin it."

"You should have been more worried about ruining her day when you did what you did." Brooke crossed her arms defiantly and repeated herself. "You're going to tell her now, or I will. And I won't flower it up with apologies or how you didn't mean it. I'll just tell her the facts: that the girls she's been praising as her savior is really a selfish bitch who could care less."

Peyton winced at the girls harsh words and knew that all of them were true and deserved. But it hurt nonetheless. She knew this would happen.

"I did find her." Peyton said quietly.

"Yes, you did." Brooke nodded. "And believe me when I tell you I'll be grateful for that for the rest of my life, but that doesn't change what you did in the first place. But because you _did_ find her when we were out there, I'll extend some courtesy. Here's what I'll do: Instead of going straight to Haley, I'll go to my locker first. _Then_ I'm going to the Tutor Center, if you're not already there to talk to her, I will. Got it?"

Brooke turned and began walking away again. Peyton stepped once after her, saying her name.

"Brooke, is there anything -"

"Peyton." Brooke turned towards her, holding up her hand to stop her. "I really can't be around you any longer." she then gestured at the letters again and spoke cynically. "Love, huh?"

-

* * *

-

"Alright then just square that...there's your answer." Haley instructed her before school tutoring session. "Make sense?"

"I think so."

"Haley."

The tutor looked up at the voice. She saw Peyton just past the doorway to the room, barely out of the Tutor Center. She was wringing her hands anxiously and had to force her voice to work well enough to be heard by the girl. Even then it wasn't quite it's normal sound. Haley gave her a smile and rose to meet her.

"Here, Marcus, try the next one on your own." she instructed, "I'll be right back."

The boy nodded and went to work as she left him and approached the blonde. Standing before Peyton, she took an extra step to take them out into the hallway rather than block the doorway.

"Hey." she greeted happily. "When you weren't here before Marcus showed up for his session I thought Brooke forgot about me."

Haley took notice of the shirt Peyton was wearing and had to grin with a comment. "Cool shirt."

The compliment causing Peyton to look down at it. She'd take off the "Love" hoodie and stuffed it in her locker after her conversation, or more accurately confrontation, with Brooke, feeling like a hypocrite for wearing it. Now she wore her favorite Tegan and Sara band shirt.

"Thanks." she answered quietly without much enthusiasm, then cleared her throat but Haley spoke first.

"Even better because it goes perfect with what I've got for you."

"Haley-"

"I know you told me to stop." she informed. "But you wearing that shirt is like universal synchronicity. Plus, I promise this is the very last one. Ready?"

"Haley-"

"TaDa!" she stated, pulling her gift from her pocket and holding it up for Peyton to see. "Tegan and Sara in Charlotte next month!"

Peyton was shocked and the part of her that forgot why she was there immediately got ecstatic. She took the tickets in her hand, noticing right away that there were two of them. She looked at Haley questioningly.

"Don't worry I'm not telling you to take me." Haley dismissed. "No one should go to an awesome concert alone. Take whoever and have a crazy fun time."

"Oh, wow." she spoke in disbelief, looking at the the tickets in her hand. "I don't know what to say. This..This is amazing."

"You don't have to say anything. That look right there is what it's all for." she said with a smile. "Actually there's something I'd like you to say: Promise you won't scalp them. Those are yours."

Peyton felt the awe dissipate and she refocused herself.

"Listen-"

"Not a word until you put those in your pocket." Haley instructed to which Peyton did what she said with a sigh.

"There's something I have to tell you." she started.

"Is something wrong?" not knowing how she didn't notice the girl's demeanor before now. It was obvious looking at her that something was up.

Peyton didn't respond right away, instead looked nervously around a moment. She happened to glance over her shoulder and was able to see at the end of the occupied hallway, Brooke just beyond the glass doors at the end of the hall.

"I..." she started, still looking at Brooke, then turning around again to face the girl she was addressing. "The way I've been acting since we got back, avoiding you, ditching conversations, you know, not accepting your offers to move on and start over...it's been for a reason."

"I know."

"No, there's a reason." she continued. "But it's not what you think it is. It's guilt. It's, It's a crushing guilt, Haley. I don't deserve anything from you; gifts, praise, friendship, anything. Because the truth is, what happened to you was my fault."

"God, between you and Brooke." Haley mused shaking her head with a chuckle.

"You don't remember." Peyton said. "But it's true. I can prove it." she cleared her throat. "Where's your wedding ring?"

"My..." Haley looked down at her bare finger somberly. She didn't know. She hadn't known since she woke up. "I must have lost it some time when...I don't know. Why?"

"I do." Peyton confessed, then, sighing, she held pulled the object out of her pocket and held it out.

Haley stared at it, mesmerized by it's resurgence in her life. Wordlessly taking it feeling the metal in her hold. Not sure what was going, but knowing the ring was back where it belonged. She slipped it on her finger.

Once it was settled a rush of images and sensations came at her with all the force of a racing semi-truck.

_"Ok." Peyton's mood once again disappearing at the reminder of the other girl's presence in the room as well as the trip. "I'll meet you guys down at the car. Don't forget your guitar." she spoke curtly before leaving._

_Haley sighed, looking at the still open doorway, then to Brooke._

_"And what number was she on that list of yours?" she asked tilting her head towards the entryway_

xxxx

"_What the hell?" pressing harder on the pedal. The engine powered loudly, and the tires squealed and slid. "Damn it!" she cursed, shoving the weight of her body on it, pressing it to the floor. The SUV tried again, this time the vehicle's back end swayed to the side._

xx xx

_"Make up my mind, Haley?" she questioned. "You're one to talk." Holding the ring out of her reach, moving again when she tried to reach for it. "Don't worry, I'll help."_

xx xx

_"Bitch!" she shouted on top of her. "What'd you do?" smacking her. "What'd you do?!"_

_Peyton grabbed hold of her attacker's hands, stopping the strikes from hitting her and managed to maneuver her way from under the girl. Then she was sitting on Haley, still holding her wrists to fend off attempts. "Fuck you RockStar!" _

xx xx

_"Merry freaking Chris-"her voice cut off by a gasp. The snow deceiving her, the ground disappearing from beneath her and gravity doing the rest._

xxxx

"_Help!"_

Suddenly, just like that, as easy as putting on her ring, everything came back to her.

The drive, getting stuck, fighting with Peyton.

Peyton.

Everything came back.

Everything.

"You..." breathing heavily with the fresh emotion, she looked up and glared at Peyton with dark eyes.

"Haley, I-"

Peyton's apology was cut short by a loud scream. Before she could try to see where it came from a new sound came.

A loud terrifying sound that immediately invited a chaotic stampede of panicked students.

A gun shot.

-

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**a/n: alright there you go! It's all finally out! BUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!!???? GASP! **


	27. Hallelujah

**A/N: I'm starting this off by saying this was pretty difficult for me to write. Though having never been through anything close to the situation myself, I know how sensitive a subject it is. I feel personally that mark and his entire creative team along with the cast did such an amazing job portraying the different perspectives and the overall raw emotion that basically radiated off the screen when watching it. I worried over this and whether or not it was even possible to do justice. Writing and rewriting and editing and erasing it all and starting again. This is where I finally felt it had come out as well as I any of my abilities will allow. Hope you like.**

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-

* * *

"_Well maybe there is a God above_

_But all I've ever learned from love_

_Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you_

_And it's not a cry that you hear at night_

_It's not somebody who's seen the light_

_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah"_

_'Hallelujah'_

-Jeff Buckley

* * *

-

-

Chaos.

There was no other word for it, yet at the same time it was not enough of a word to describe it.

In the time it took for a single movement, the movement of a single finger; the milliseconds, too quick to accurately be counted by man, for a brain to send the message through the body, riding on the back of internal workings of the human body. Message delivered. Message received. Message obeyed.

Move your finger.

In the immeasurably short amount of time it took, everything that was known and familiar and comfortable...everything safe was gone.

The wings of a butterfly can cause a hurricane on the other side of the planet. Moving one finger can destroy everything good and surpassed all that was bad.

Some would say they heard a bang; the loudest they'd ever heard. While others would describe hearing a pop, much like that of a firecracker. Regardless of the description, the result was universal:

Fear. Panic.

Pure terror was born into the hearts of all the very moment the brain of Jimmy Edwards delivered that message.

Terror that begot the ensuing chaos in which self-preservation instincts took control of hundreds of bodies to carry out one singular task:

Run.

Run. Get away. Live.

A scream preceded the shot. The shot preceding, then, a hundred more screams of fear. The panic blinded reason; the desire to live snuffed out anything else. It was all running; it was a rush for the exits, a collective of flowing terror in that mindset. It was because of this all were blinded to any sight but the doors and deaf to any but the voice in their mind demanding they don't stop.

It was why the varsity's tight end, number 88 on his jersey, gave no notice to the girl who'd turned at the sound of the scream a breath before the shot with the unfortunate fate to be struck by his large form with enough force to break a tackle for the big score and fall beneath the sea of bodies when his survival mode charged him to run.

Why the saxophone player, second chair though she knew she had the chops to be first, lost all regard for her coveted instrument and dropped it to take off without a free thought in her mind for the other girl whom the universe deemed to stumble over it, banging against the lockers as a result.

And why the slacker, never one to rush anywhere but the bathroom or kitchen, found himself so intently determined to run, out run, and survive, that he was unable to spare a thought to realize the suddenly uneven ground he stepped on and pressed off was not the ground at all but actually the hand of a girl who seemed to have drawn the karmic short straw of falling just before the stampede began.

Chaos.

-

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* * *

-

-

Brooke had been standing just beyond the glass doors at the end of the senior hallway. Keeping her eyes on the back of the curly blonde head; watching her tell her roommate the truth she'd just revealed to Brooke not long ago. She still couldn't believe it; that her best friend could so something so heartless. Standing there, watching them, her attention was diverted from the girls near the Tutor Center to a group of boys at a locker. Three jerks picking on a fourth boy she didn't recognize.

When it seemed they had had their fill of messing with him, they walked away, towards her end of the wall with an air of arrogance around the assholes. As Brooke was about to return her sights to her friends, something else caught her eyes. The boy they were picking on raised his arm in their direction. Her heart froze...he had a gun.

It felt like he was pointing it right at her. She couldn't move. She heard a loud noise just a breath before the glass in front of her shattered into a rain of a million jagged shards.

Her body moved on reflex; it had to have been, because there was no way she was able to make the conscious decision to throw herself down to the ground. But that's what happened. Feeling the sting of the glass pieces she ended up on poking at her through her clothes, hearing the erupting screams of everyone around her, Brooke felt the terrifying truth that this was real crash over her like a bucket of ice water.

She let out a cry of pain when someone stepped on her hand as they ran past her for safety. Brooke cradled her hand to her chest for a second before she felt someone's hands come under her shoulders and let herself be pulled to her feet. They weren't particularly strong, but again, it was Brooke's body moving on it's own survival automation that put her legs under her and helped her get up. Then a hand was holding hers and pulling her forward to run along with the multitude that tore through the halls. Looking up at the body attached to the hand she held, Brooke immediately recognized the blonde head she followed. Her brain kicked back into gear.

"I can't leave them." she spoke aloud though it was for no one to hear. Brooke then let go of the hand and immediately went against all logic, turning to make her way through the opposing flow of bodies.

Brooke somehow managed to make progress going in the opposite direction of the students. Bouncing off bodies like a pinball, she fought to get to her friends. The noises around her fueling the voice in her head calling her an idiot. Telling her to go back. But there was that other voice, one that didn't originate in her mind but in her heart.

The one saying her two best friends were a lot closer to the shooter than she.

That Peyton thought she hated her.

That Haley wouldn't be able to run.

As she finally was reaching a point where the crowd thinned, finally able to get enough space to move without having to be knocked and bumped when she did, she noticed noticed something that terrified her. Looking at the ground, there were droplets of what she unfortunately knew to be blood, her breath caught and she covered her mouth, trying to remain calm and focused on what she was doing. Pushing out the final end of the crowd, she was forced to see that it was not just a few random drops, but several drops trailing from down the fall.

Her steps slowed as she came upon what was no longer a trail, but a small pool of it. The origin of the trail, in the very place she'd been standing when it all started.

It was hers.

-

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* * *

-

-

Peyton had been standing as stiff as a board, braced for Haley's reaction to her confession.

"Haley, I-" she stopped mid-sentence at the shrill scream in the hall.

Next came a sound; the likes of which she never imagined she'd hear in her life. The sound followed by an uproar of screaming from all around. When the initial sound was born into the air, not quite a bang like it was always described in stories, her instinct was to cover her head. She did so, next hearing the thunder of footsteps, as she uncovered her head to see the new world.

Peyton was being carried along by the current as soon as it reached her. Her feet moved awkwardly beneath her long body, trying simply not to fall over as the force of the crowd at her back kept asserting it's physical influence on her.

"Haley!" she called out, when her brain was jostled out of it's hiding place.

She looked left to right, seeing familiar faces in those directions but no visual on the tutor. She tried looking behind her. When she turned her head, her feet were introduced to a foreign obstacle. Her breath hitched into a gasp as she felt herself losing her balance against whatever the hard object was. Trying to salvage herself as best she could, she ended up falling against the steel row of lockers with a clang. Adrenaline and her panicking heart masked the throbbing that would bruise almost instantly.

The blonde pressed her back against the lockers, making herself as flat as possible to keep from being struck by any passing limbs, while she peered in the direction from which everyone fled, looking for a sign of the girl she'd been speaking to. In some miniscule grace period during the rush, Peyton saw a mess of the familiar shade of hair not far from where she'd been carried by the herd.

"Haley!" she called again though she knew she couldn't be heard.

Peyton kept to the lockers, trying to remain as out of the way as possible while she moved against them. It wasn't one hundred percent effective, as was made apparent when she was clipped by a backpack still being worn by a desperate student. Following the wall, she stepped into an indentation to allow for a classroom door. Standing in it, it was brief haven from the madness.

-

* * *

-

Haley had barely gotten a hold of what Peyton had told her. The images and feelings and sensations of the memories had just lifted from her when a new stimulus came.

A terrified scream came from nearby and as she'd turned to look for it's source, the other sound followed. So quickly after the scream that she was still in the process of turning.

Then, abruptly, she felt the air rush out of her lungs when a much larger, harder body rammed hers as it's owner took off as fast as he was able. The force of the impact knocked her down as if she were a feather in downpour. Hitting the ground with a cry, she immediately felt herself being kicked and bumped by all who charged by.

With tears of every sort coming to and slipping out her eyes, she did all she could think to as the world transformed around her. The girl, on her side, attempted to pull herself into the smallest form she could and covered her head. She squeezed her eyes shut, hearing the stampede continue over her as is she weren't there, feeling the knocks that still came from the shoes of passersby, and just prayed it would be over soon.

Another kick, probably from someone she saw everyday, and she thought that maybe this really would be it for her.

Haley's mind went to her parents. She wondered where they were; what they were doing at that moment, thinking she was safely going to school as she had done for almost twelve years.

She missed a call from Quinn yesterday. She didn't call her back yet.

She told Karen she'd be back at the cafe soon.

Where was Brooke? Was she safe? Did she get out? She'd wanted to go to Tric this weekend.

Nathan and Lucas were at morning practice at the old gym across town. They were safe.

Nathan.

She'd told him she loved him. The last time they talked they exchanged those words. But it wasn't enough. Those three words couldn't say it; couldn't do any appropriate justice to how she felt for him.

But if this was it, if she was trampled before she had a chance to be shot, at least the last thing she said to him was something real. Something that mattered.

Then somebody was with her. Someone actually noticing a body and choosing not to kick or stomp on it. She uncovered her face to see who it was and saw the girl she'd been speaking to a few hundred heartbeats ago.

"Go!" she shouted at her, slapping away her hands. "Peyton, go. Get out!"

"Shut up." she answered, getting a hold of her arm and pulling her to her feet.

The stampede had petered out, leaving them in a hall occupied only by discarded books and forgotten bags. Peyton grabbed her wrist, attempting to make a mad dash out through the now clear corridors. However, sore from the night before, aching from the combination of getting knocked down and stormed over, Haley knew running wasn't in the picture for her and her still weak leg as soon as she tried. Almost buckling beneath her, Haley's hand shot out to the wall beside her to keep from falling again.

Peyton realized what was wrong and paused with her. Ignoring the girl's repeated demand for her to go, the blonde draped her arm over her shoulders and began to walk with her as quickly as they could manage.

Haley hated herself for slowing the girl down, for making her feel obligated to stay with her out of some act of contrition for what had happened on the cabin trip. The fear drowned out anything other than what was happening right then and there. And she heard something that sped up her heart, if it were even possible to beat faster than it already was.

"Peyton, someone's coming." Haley informed her, terrified, the sound of footsteps clearly audible from their source coming towards the hall entrance. Everyone wanted out. The only person that would stay... "Peyton, go." Haley said again, not in a demanding way as she had been before. No force in this one, only dripping terror.

Peyton felt the same fear, stepping them to the closest door. Locked.

She slammed her palm against it, her own fear making her hand shake as she did so. There was shuffling inside, someone was definitely in there. Again she hit it.

"Lock down." Haley commented, telling her that whoever it was inside would not most likely not be daring enough to open it when there was a chance it could be the shooter.

Peyton's heart leaped to her throat. Turning them to move, with fast awkward steps, directly across the hall. As soon as she could reach, Haley shot her arm out to try the door. By some stroke of luck it opened and they stumbled through; their momentum taking them to the floor.

Peyton reacted first, after hitting the tile with a grunt, she sat up and pulled the door shut, clicking the lock as soon as she did.

Closing them in darkness..

-

* * *

-

"What the hell...move!" Whitey spoke pushing his way passed the team members who'd exited the bus and froze at the sight. Everyone was running and screaming around and by them.

"What's going on?" Lucas asked, looking to the dark haired player next to him. Before Nathan could respond that he had no idea, or mention the sick, cold feeling in his gut, his older brother saw a friendly face and got a hold of her, bringing her towards them. "Bevin. Bevin, what's going on?"

"Someone inside, they have a gun. They're shooting." she answered fearfully.

"What?" he responded as Nathan stood speechless. Only one thought coming to him: Haley.

"Oh my God." they heard their coach exclaim at the news.

"I'm so sorry, Luke. Brooke, she was with me and then she wasn't. I don't-"

"Wait, wait slow down. Brooke was shot?" he asked terrified that that was the message she was trying to convey.

"I don't know. I'm sorry it all happened so fast." she apologized turning to keep running. "I have to call my parents. I have to go."

Lucas looked at his brother, feeling an incredibly dark hand squeezing his heart at the thought that she may be hurt. Lucas saw the same thing reflected in his eyes before he spoke the words: "Haley's inside."

Lucas wanted to tell himself that they didn't know that for sure. That with all the chaos happening around them, it was possible that the girls had made it out and were just not somewhere they could see just yet. Before he even had the chance to pretend that he believed the possibility, Nathan was off; running towards the school as fast as he'd ever seen him move.

"Nathan!" Whitey called after him.

Lucas didn't spare a second before he was running in the same direction, with the same intentions. Hearing the old man call both their names, he continued to follow behind his co-captain.

Something telling him how bad an idea it was; how dangerous and stupid he was being.

But something stronger saying Brooke's name.

The two boys passed through the doors.

Both with one thing on their mind and neither knowing what to expect.

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

**a/n: alright...honestly....hit me.**


	28. We Will Become Silhouettes

**A/N: Ok, so the deal with this chapter is that it is long. And I mean very long. I apologize if it's somehow an inconvenience to anyone, but I really could not break this at any point. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The other thing being, that Wow, did I feel so completely and emotionally drained after writing this. I was discussing it with my brother and describing how it ended up feeling to me at the end and that I really hope it comes across on your end with even a fraction of that. **

**I'll say again I've never been through anything remotely close to this kind of situation.**

**PS- While I was typing this Michelle Featherstone's 'God Bless The Child' came on my music shuffle...eerie.**

-

* * *

"_I'm screaming at the top of my lungs_

_Pretending the echoes belong to someone_

_Someone I used to know."_

_-'We Will Become Silhouettes'_

The Postal Serivice

* * *

The brothers moved quickly to the first place Nathan could think of that would help. Lucas followed him to the sports equipment, closing the door behind him and looking out the window to be sure they weren't seen by whoever it was that was doing this. He turned back around and saw Nathan tightly holding a baseball bat.

"Nate," he started nervously. "What are we doing? This is crazy, right?"

"You wanna leave, go ahead." he told him.

"You think you're the only person with everything on the line here?" he asked, turning his panic into anger. "Brooke's in here somewhere, and yeah, it scares the hell out of me too. But we need a plan, Nathan. You going to stop a bullet with a bat?"

Nathan didn't respond. Because there was no answer he could give. There was no logic here. There was only the thought of Haley; stuck and afraid.

Logic had no place in a day like this.

The two carefully made their way down the halls together; each armed and poised to strike with the bats if need be. Lucas whispered to his younger brother as they reached a turn off in the halls and he saw Nathan beginning to take it.

"Nathan," he whispered. "Brooke's...her locker and first class, they're this way. She would've been heading this way when it happened."

"Tutor Center's this way." Nathan stated, nodding his head in the other hall.

The two looked at one another, the silent understanding passing between them:

They were splitting up.

"Nathan..." he started, but really didn't know what to say. If they were different people; if they'd grown up together, been closer longer, there would be easier words for it. But how it was, where they found themselves...

"Yeah." Nathan nodded. "You too."

And the brothers went their respective ways, hoping it wouldn't be the last they knew of each other.

After the silent goodbye, Nathan crept slowly down the vacant hall on his way to his destination, keeping a tight hold on the weapon the entire time. Halfway down the current path he took, he saw the first drops of red on the white tile.

His heart sped up and thumped loudly in his chest. Sure he'd seen blood before, but never like that. Never blood spilled by something as black and evil as this. The fact that Haley was still there made it all the more terrifying, even though the odds were that she was in the Tutor Center when it happened. She had a free first period and students that filled that time there. She had no reason to be in the hall where he was, where the blood had been spilled.

Squeezing the bat tighter, feeling his muscles tense, ready to swing with all his force, he walked along the trail of crimson droplets. Coming to a stop where the wall ended, he kept his back to the lockers, staring down at the shattered remnants of the glass doors where a puddle of the liquid was gathered.

He saw a smear, going in the direction he intended to. Standing perfectly still, he held his breath and listened for a clue as to what he would find around the corner. Someone was there. . . breathing heavily.

Twisting his hands on the end of the blunt weapon, he took a deep breath and turned the corner, pulling it back in case he had to use it.

His movements froze instantly when he entered the hall. A few feet down, sitting against a locker and breathing the heavy breaths that he'd heard, was one of his closest friends. Nathan sprinted the distance between them, dropping to his knees beside her, the bat making a clunk as it hit the floor with him.

"Brooke!" he spoke with force.

She looked up quickly, letting out a small fearful cry at his appearance and instinctively pulled back when he touched her. She hadn't expected to see anyone else in the hall unless it was the person who started it all.

"Brooke, it's ok." he told her, laying a hand on her shoulder and another on her leg.

"Nathan." she said, tears in her voice and on her cheeks. Her face scrunched a bit with more tears. "Is Lucas with you?"

"He's here." he answered, "He's looking for you."

"No." she shook her head and cried still more, taking in a shaking breath. "It's not safe."

"Brooke," he shook his head, looking to the floor she sat on. The crimson drops he'd been trailing stopped with her. Swallowing hard, he noticed for the first time, Brooke's hand pressed against her right side. "You're bleeding."

"I was by the glass and fell." she recounted tearfully. "I got cut."

"I gotta get you out of here." he stated, not wanting to leave without Haley; who knew if he'd be able to get back in if he did. However, he couldn't leave the bleeding girl to fend for herself. He would get Brooke out and figure the next step afterward, but first had to ask. "Do you know where Haley is?"

"She and Peyton were by the Tutor Center." she told him taking in a shuddering breath. "But I'm not going anywhere."

"Brooke, you can't-"

"No. In the accident, they-they were out there and I just waited. I can't, I can't again."

"No. You're hurt."

"It's just a cut." she answered. "Please I'm ok. I just slipped a minute ago and haven't got back up yet. Please."

-

* * *

There was a knock on the door. All eyes turned frightfully towards it.

No one moved at first, everyone believing and fearing the worst. After another few knocks and a muffled voice coming from the hall, Marcus went over to it. The boy putting his face only inches from it and speaking:

"No way." he spoke to the barrier. "Look man, we don't want any trouble. Just get on with your business and leave us. Walk on."

Then something slid under the door. The flat object stopping when it met Skills' shoe. Picking it up, he announced.

"It's Nate."

"No way man." Marcus stated as the other student moved to open the door. "They probably killed him and took it. Or maybe he's the psycho doing this in the first place."

"Why do you call him a psycho?" a voice came from the back of the room to get their attention.

"The fact that he's trying to kill us, fat ass."

"Man, shut your mouth and get out the way before I do both for you." Skills threatened, shoving him away and unlocking the door.

Nathan came in quickly, one hand holding the bat still and the other holding Brooke's as she followed behind him. As soon as he entered, he let go of Brooke's hand and looked around the room; looking at all the faces he was met with.

"Where's Haley?" he asked Skills.

"Don't know man. She ain't here." he answered regretfully.

"She's supposed to be here." Nathan stated panicking, going to a nearby table and picking up the object sitting atop it. "This is her bag. Where is she?"

"She _was_ here." Marcus spoke up for his tutor. "She was helping me with Calc and said she'd come right back. Then all this crazy shit went down and she never did."

Brooke leaned against the wall, devastated that the girls weren't in there. They could be anywhere.

The brunette winced to herself; her side was on fire. She was starting to think that making Nathan bring her wasn't the smartest idea. She heard his voice while she tried to breathe past the pain.

He was telling them that they were getting out. He hadn't come across anyone out there. He instructed Skills to make sure she got out alright while he would keep looking for his wife. Everyone began to move towards the door, more than happy to get out and leave the day behind them.

Then Brooke saw him.

In the back of the room near Mouth.

"Here we go." Skills spoke to her as he came to her side. "I got you girl."

"That's him." she whispered terrified, looking at the boy she'd seen in the hall. "That's him!"

-

* * *

"Oh my God." Peyton breathed, hugging her legs to her chest in the dark. "Oh my God. This is real. This is really happening."

She felt tears being soaked into her jeans as she lay her face on her bent knees. She couldn't believe it.

She was suddenly desperate to see her dad; give anything to hear his voice again, telling her it was all going to be ok. But she knew, with a heartbreaking fact, that wasn't going to happen. He was somewhere out on the ocean living his everyday life thinking she was doing the same.

Hearing the quivering breaths that weren't hers, Peyton reminded herself that she wasn't alone in the dark room. Lifting her head and wiping at her face, she stretched her long arm on the wall above her for the light switch. She turned it on and the small closet was filled with light. She saw the other girl, sitting against the shelves of cleaning supplies, hands on her face, crying as well.

"Haley." Peyton spoke out from her spot, asking a question that sounded redundant in the situation. "Are you alright?"

"No." she uncovered her hands from her face so her words could be heard clearly. She shook her head and took a breath. She was _not _alright. Who could be alright at a time like this? "God...Why?"

Peyton heard the question she desperately asked the room. Why? Why was this happening?

"I don't know." Peyton answered, though the question was more than likely a rhetorical one. "I don't know what would make someone do this."

"No." Haley said forcefully. Turning to face the blonde. "You. Why would you do that?"

Peyton was surprised.

In all that happened in the past few minutes of life, she'd forgotten that anything came before that moment. She forgot she'd told her what happened. Well, hadn't _told_ her, really, but did enough that she finally knew.

"Do you really hate me that much?" she asked her. "To want to hurt me that badly?"

"I'm sorry." she apologized. "I know it sounds stupid and not enough, but I don't know what else to say other than try to tell you how sorry I am."

"You're right. It's not enough." she answered. "Don't tell me you're sorry, tell me why. And don't tell me just because I left or because I came back or whatever unless that's one hundred percent the reason. Tell me the God's honest truth, that's what you can say."

Peyton was silent a moment, searching for the answer. True she'd been mad at Haley for leaving then coming back as if nothing happened; but the truth was it did go deeper than that. She sighed and began speaking.

"When I went out with him," she began. "Nathan was the biggest asshole on the planet other than Dan. But I knew he could be better if he tried; but he was so damned guarded and callous. Then he started to change; for you, because of you. You did what I never could...and then you ..." she shook her head and wiped at her wet face. "Everyone warned you to be careful. We all warned him not to hurt you. And then _you _hurt _him._"

Peyton let out a breath and kept on.

"No one warned him. He made himself as vulnerable as possible to you and when you did what you did...it showed him exactly why he'd never done that before. I hated the thought that you might've destroyed the guy he could be; that he was supposed to be. And then when you came back, I just...I didn't want you to have the chance to do it again." saying the last part with head down a bit. "I wanted you to feel what he felt a little bit. The betrayal and the pain."

Haley shook her head to herself, looking up at the ceiling. Yes, Peyton's reason had validity. She would always be the first to agree that, while she loved the opportunity to follow her dreams, the way she'd gone about it was awful. But learning about all that happened, having so fresh in her mind, it was as if it had only happened yesterday; and she couldn't just accept it and leave it.

"What you did...and lying about it this whole time after..."Haley looked back over at the blonde across the room. "Did you get what you wanted? Did I hurt enough for you?"

"God, Haley, you will _never_ know how sorry I am." she stated, putting her hand over her heart as she spoke. "It was a stupid thing that, I did on impulse. We were arguing and you said things...that were true and on top of everything there was Brooke. You know, she was always in my ear defending you and I started feeling like...like the more time you spent together, living together; more and more I became an extra."

She took a breath, giving the other girl a chance to respond. When she saw her tight lipped and the muscles of her jaw tightly tensed, she continued.

"I know none of that makes it ok and I know you probably hate me-"

"That's the problem." Haley interrupted, shaking her head in the disbelief of the situation. "I can't hate you, can I? Not today. Not now, when some crazy person is shooting at people; when we could be killed sitting in a stupid janitor's closet."

Haley ran her hands through her hair and pulled for a second in frustration. She tapped the back of her head against the shelf behind her a few times before speaking again.

"Damn it. It's not fair." she declared and looked at Peyton. "This isn't fair." she patted an open palm to her chest as she continued. "I deserve to hate you. I deserve the chance to be furious with you."

Peyton nodded. She could see the frustration of it all.

Haley was right. She deserved those things, but in the the situation they were in, what could possibly be the last minutes of their lives, Haley wasn't going to spend hating her even when she deserved to. They couldn't hate each other when they were scared for their lives. She was reminded of Brooke's words from long ago: _"Just not enemies anymore."_

There was noise from past the door. Something hitting the floor, a thunk or clunk sound. The two jerked at the sound and then froze and Haley forced her whisper out passed the lump in her throat.

"The light." she said with terror in her voice. "Peyton turn off the light."

Even though it wouldn't be noticeable really on the outside if there was the smallest glow under the door, it was still something they could do to feel like they had some control over their fates that day.

The light disappeared and the dark once again took the room. The girls head their breaths, listening for some sign in any direction. Something that would warn them if they had been discovered. Peyton, right next to it, leaned her ear against the door, trying to listen and hearing something.

Voices.

Too quiet to hear what they were saying or who it was. But there were voices, more than one for sure. Good guys or bad? To be on the safe side, they remained quiet until Peyton heard shuffling and then a door open and close. Keeping quiet a few minutes after, just to ensure they really were gone.

Peyton let out the breath she'd held and turned back to face the inside of the shadowed room. Haley didn't speak so Peyton didn't either.

Leaving the light off, the girls sat in silence, wondering when the fear would be over.

-

* * *

Lucas felt completely helpless. He'd found no sign of Brooke or anyone else. The phrase about no news being good news was little comfort to him.

True he hadn't found her hurt or worse. But he hadn't found her.

All alone; he had never realized how large the school was until it was so eerily silent and empty.

All he could think to do was call her, but he quickly diminished the idea. Thinking if she was hiding she couldn't talk, even more, he knew how often she forgot to silence her phone before school.

He could make things worse for her.

Never feeling more desperately useless in his lifetime, he ran a hand through his hair and spun in a circle, trying to keep the ache of fear from becoming tears.

Not knowing what else to do, he went back towards the Tutor Center.

Maybe she'd been with Haley.

He began the action of retracing his steps back to where he'd parted ways with his brother.

All the while, keeping Brooke's voice in his heart.

-

* * *

"That's him!"

Brooke repeated louder, though the force of it made her cut hurt more as her stomach muscles contracted at her speech. Nathan quickly came over to her.

"Brooke-"

"That guy!" she pointed with the hand that wasn't clamped over her wound. "I saw him. I saw him with a gun. Nathan, he's the shooter."

All occupants turned to face the accused.

The kid in the maroon sweatshirt standing in the back who'd only spoken once so far.

"That's crazy." Mouth immediately protested for his old friend.

"Is saw him!" Brooke repeated, desperately to Mouth, who she considered a good friend though he wasn't believing what was sure to be one of the most important things she'd say in her life.

Nathan, however, believed his friend and turned from her to stare dangerously at the kid.

"You do this?" he asked darkly, gripping the bat tighter.

"Come one guys." Mouth spoke up. "Jimmy tell them."

"I don't care if he did or not. I just want to go!" Abby Brown announced, moving from her spot in the corner of the room towards the door. She was next to Skills when he spoke for the second time.

"Nobody's going anywhere." The voice of Jimmy Edwards stated as he revealed the weapon from the large pocket on the front of the hoodie in which he'd hidden it.

Everyone froze at the sight and Mouth looked at him in shock.

"Ah, Jim...what are you doing?"

"Everyone away from the door." he said in a monotone voiced.

Nobody moved, the students could only stare at him with shock and fear as they found themselves with a gun in their direction. The gun that started it all pointed right at them.

"Move!" he shouted suddenly.

The loud demand sent a new bolt through all of them. Jerking or jumping in place before moving from the door as they were ordered. Nathan stood himself in front of Brooke as the group collectively backed away while Jimmy took a guarding spot at the door. He kept one arm extended behind him, making sure the girl remained as protected as he could make her. He could feel Brooke shaking at his back, a fistful of his shirt clenched tight in her grip.

Jimmy yelled at them all. Yelled at Nathan. Called him 'Superstar' and told him to drop the bat. He did so right away and rolled it over to him where Jimmy then kicked it behind him so no one could make an attempt for it.

Nathan didn't want to say anything. He didn't want to say something that might make him angry or nervous enough that he hurt any of them. But Nathan's heart screamed in his chest, thinking of Haley, and he had to know.

"You shoot anyone?" he asked him anxiously but keeping his voice calm somehow. "You hurt anybody Jimmy?"

"Don't do that!" he yelled at Nathan, pointing the gun in his shaking hand directly at him. Nathan's muscled tensed at the sight and he turned his head enough to see Brooke still safely behind him. He closed his eyes for a breath. "Don't say my name like we're old friends, _Nathan!_" emphasizing his name with distaste.

"Calm down, man, ok?" Nathan held up his hands. "I'm sorry, ok?"

"Yeah, you're sorry." he repeated it angrily. "How sorry were you all those times you and your basketball buddies were making my life hell?"

Nathan remained silent, knowing he'd been a dick before, but an apology right then would probably only anger him even more; make him feel like Nathan was just patronizing him. He suddenly heard Brooke speak up from behind him.

"Stop." he pleaded and he could hear the frightened shake in her voice. "He's just-just worried about his wife."

"Yeah his wife." he repeated. "I heard what you said on the time capsule about her. But you can get away with it, can't you, Scott? You can get away with anything you want because that's who you are. Your _worst_ day in this place would be my best."

Brooke tried to listen from her spot behind the tall teen, but the words were, for some reason, becoming foggy and farther away. She wondered a moment if it was because he was leaving; if it was over. But when she felt the vibration through Nathan's back, it told her he too was talking, and it sounded the same as the other boy's. The only thing she could hear clearly was her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

It then came to her that it wasn't them, it was her.

Focusing her eyes to notice, for the first time, the fabric on her protective friend's shirt was stained where her hand touched. Looking at the mar on his lightly colored shirt, she longed for the return of the adrenaline from earlier that day that allowed her to be brave enough to let go of Bevin and turn towards the danger for her friends. Instead she got the opposite. Feeling increasingly drained, she leaned her forehead between his shoulder blades and closed her eyes, waiting for the new found dizziness to pass by.

With her eyes closed, she tried to focus more on the words being exchanged in the room; able to pick out a few.

"...judgment...gun play..."

"...called...ass..."

"...Mouth..."

Unable to make sense of the pieces, she forced her eyes open, still with her head against Nathan, looking down at the back of his legs and the floor. Dark heavy eyes moved from the floor to her shoes. Then up her legs, that's when she saw the dark spots and streaks residing in various places on the right leg of her jeans. Continuing upward, she saw next the dark patch at the waist and then, finally, her eyes went to her shirt. From the hem up to the throbbing area of her right side, a deep, wet blotch that continued to soak through the fabric.

She swallowed fearfully as it pulsed fire. Not remembering it being so bad in the hall.

The cut must be deeper than she thought.

As she stared at it and more tears came to her eyes, she felt her hands were falling asleep; the tingling numbness that grew making it harder and harder to hold on to his shirt. Lifting her head back barely, she saw the wet spot that remained on his shirt where she leaned.

This wasn't her blood. It wasn't the same color. She was sweating. The quick thought came that she should apologize for ruining the nice shirt but she knew she had bigger concerns. Strength drained as every beat of her heart sent more of her life out the open wound.

"Nath..."she tried weakly.

Nathan felt his friend's grip begin to loosen. He wondered if she was getting used to the occurrence; or perhaps just getting braver and wanted to say something else. He'd much rather she stay behind him quietly. He couldn't do anything to protect Haley then, but he could do his very best to keep Brooke safe.

Truth be told, he was terrified and having her hands holding on tightly was a good reminder for him to stay grounded; that they had lives to live and people to think about.

He heard her half speak his name, just barely it was so quiet. He attributed that to the fear and turned his head to the side, just enough that his ear was towards her so he could hear better without taking his eyes completely off Jimmy and the gun. He tried to offer what little assurance he could.

"It's going to be ok." he spoke quietly, hoping he wasn't made a liar. She shook her head in his back.

"Some..." trying to force out the words, her voice no stronger than it had been before when she attempted to say his name. "Something's wrong."

Nathan's flags went up as fear grew in his heart. Before he could turn around, he felt his friend's presence completely and all at once abandon all contact with his body.

Brooke spoke his name as best she could, getting a response of some sort from him; it sounded like she was listening from underwater, feeling herself going deeper and deeper beneath the surface. It didn't matter, however, if she couldn't tell what he said. She just needed him to hear her.

Mustering up enough of what remaining strength she had, she somehow managed to speak enough to get it out. To tell him that something wasn't right.

As soon as the words left her, a crystal clear image of Lucas flashed in front of her eyes. As brief as a single frame flying through a movie, but at the same time long enough to take in every detail of him. Then he flicked away; as simply as if a light was turned off, he disappeared and everything was black.

-

* * *

Peyton's ears perked, finally hearing something in the small black room. Something breaking the silent air.

Quietly, very very quietly, the words reached the blonde.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night..."

The familiar words being sung in a soft shaking voice that was only just audible, even in the small space. Haley singing nervously, keeping her voice as quiet as possible while doing so. Trying to calm her nerves however ever she could; she used to hum Les Miserables to herself to combat stage fright.

She sang to wrap herself in something that made her feel safe.

The song made her think of Nathan; she was always safe with Nathan.

"Take these broken wings and learn to fly..."

Peyton sucked in her own frightened breath, wondering if she really was going to die today. If anyone she cared about and loved was going to die. Hugging her legs close to her once again, she closed her eyes : "All your life..."

Both of them quietly and together in the dark went on.

"You were only waiting for this moment to arise..."

Their words synching together in a less than graceful sound, both too worried and afraid to think about harmonizing or whether they had gone crazy in the darkness. It was a small action that offered a semblance of comfort for both of them.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_

Nathan shouted her name, terror filling the word, immediately falling to the floor where she'd fallen. He felt like he was moving slowly, like he was trying to move through molasses.

_Take these sunken eyes and learn to see_

Everyone in the room reacted.

Screams, shouts, moving towards them or falling to sit and watch unable to do anything else.

Jimmy watched with wide eyes, backing away slowly.

_All your life_

Lucas moved to the hall where Nathan was headed. He froze at the sight of the crimson pool amid the broken bits of glass.

He closed his eyes a moment, trying not to imagine it belonging to someone he loved.

_You were always waiting for this moment to be free_

Karen moved quickly, her entire body shaking in fear as tears poured, uninhibited, down her face.

Moving through the gym, frantically letting her eyes scan the face around her. The small woman called her son's name repeatedly. Turning in circles, desperation in every breath she took, searching the crowded old building.

_Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly_

Standing outside the gym, Ellie argued with one of the officers standing guard.

Gesturing as she desperately pleaded and begged him to let her in to see if Peyton was inside. She saw what was happening on the news and heard them tell parents where they could pick up there children.

Not her legal guardian, not listed as an emergency contact when they checked, he refused her access to where the student body was kept. He apologized and told her to stand aside so the other parents could give their names and get to their kids.

Tears freshly pouring, she ran her hands through her hair and shouted her daughter's name.

_Into the light of a dark black sky_

Nathan had lifted Brooke's shirt enough to see it.

Pressing his knotted hands down on it, the warm slick liquid greeting him right away. Skills took off the long sleeves he wore over his shirt, handing it to Nathan after bunching it up. Switching it out with his bare hands, he tried to get rouse her as the red already worked to ruin the shirt.

_Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly_

Returned to silence, the girls sat, having no idea what was happening in the world outside the door; forced to simply fear that absolute worst. Feeling the discomfort in her knee, Haley tried adjusting her position where she sat. Bumping the shelf she sat against when she did so, both hearts in the room paused when something on the sat upon one of the levels wobbled before falling off completely. Something breakable, a jar possible, crashed to the ground treacherously loud.

_Into the light of a dark black sky_

Freezing at the foreign sound, Lucas turned his focus on a nearby door and approached cautiously. It could be anyone. Putting a hand on the knob, he took a deep breath and opened it swiftly, pulling back, ready to use the bat with all his might.

He barely missed being struck by a swinging broom that came from someone standing beside the wall just inside the room. Before he could turn his weapon blindly on the wielder of it, he heard his best friend say his name. From hiding spots on the wall where the broom had come from, he was surprised and amazingly relieved when Peyton and Haley suddenly embraced him in tight hugs which he reciprocated.

All of them holding on for dear life.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_

Jimmy continued to watch.

Everything happening was happening so slowly around him. Every movement seemed to take minutes, no sound came to him though he saw mouths moving.

It was as if he were watching it through a window. No longer a part of it nor himself.

He didn't want this.

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_

His back hit the door, his eyes focused on the point of panic in the room. The girl on the floor, she was bleeding and they were screaming and crying and terrified. She was dying. There was pain everywhere.

Pain outside. Pain inside.

Feeling the immensity of it, he couldn't breathe. Jimmy's legs suddenly so very weak, he fell to his knees.

Tears on his face, a new sensation came to him and he breathed out heavily looking around the room.

"I'm not here."

His voice the only thing he could hear. His eyes wandered. His fingers flexed over the gun, warm from his sweating palm.

"I'm not here right now."

Eyes landed back on the people across the room; trying to help her. He'd done that...to them, to her. He spoke again, his voice as broken as his soul felt.

"I'm sorry."

_All your life_

Everyone who heard him turned, everyone tensed; Mouth shouting a loud, desperate word of protest and Abby screaming when the gun went off for the final time.

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_

Hearing the sound almost as soon as their arms were around each other, the girls jerked and he felt them hold on to him tighter while he turned his head in the direction it came from.

He removed his arms and took their hold off him, instructing them back into their hiding spot. Both protested, knowing exactly what his thought was. Haley desperately pulled on his arm, begging him not to; to stay with them.

He easily was able to get out of his friend's small hands and repeated his instruction with a promise that it would be ok and took off towards the the source of the sound.

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_

He lay where he'd fallen by his own shot. The brain of Jimmy Edwards gave no more orders; sent no more messages and felt no more pain.

It ended as it began.

The movement of a finger.

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise._

-

**A/N: Ok, Honesty. Please throw it my way.**

**This was my version of an oth coda. I've never done one before, but when picturing it in my mind, the girls singing evolved into the actual song playing over the scenes. **

**I love The Beatles (who own Blackbird) and have no doubt that BJG would do an awesome version of this song, however personally I imagined it as Evan Rachel Wood's from Across the Universe.**


	29. You Be The Anchor, I'll Be The Wings

**A/N: Alrighty, here it is. I'm so so SO thrilled with the response from the last chapter. You guys are seriously awesome. You're the beat that keeps this thing alive and I totally love you all for it! With that said, this chapter will have a lot of the whiteout flashbacks to show what happened between the days of the shooting to the present of the current chapter. So as last time, fade-ins/outs will be initiated by X's. Another thing I did was a lot of jumping between characters for a chunk of it. Think the counselor college advice scene from season 3. I realize written out on paper/computer screen it can seem kind of choppy, but if you use your mind's eye to see it flow it's much smoother. **

**As I type this it is wednesday and I haven't been able to watch the newest ep yet. So hush-hush!**

**Side Note:---Another Long one**

**And a final P.S. Before I shut up and let you read. The song for this chapter is absolutely amazing. The full title is **

**You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds. **

**If you've never heard it I _HIGHLY_ recommend you find it right away. As it is my favorite and (in my opinion) the best of Mayday Parade, I couldn't pick only a few lines to lead into this, so many fit so well. So bear with the extra lyrics...assuming you guys read them or if you just skip past them that's fine too. Though I hope you don't and haven't been doing it; to each his own. **

**Ok, done now, promise.**

_0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

"_Tell me once again_

_That you will love me to the death_

_And should I die, you swear that you will come for me_

_As I fade away, you reach out your hand_

_(And please don't let me go)_

_And please don't let me go_

_(And please don't let me go)_

_And please don't let me go_

_And I'll be here by the ocean just waiting for proof_

_That there's sunsets and silhouette dreams_

_All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes_

_And every wave drags me to sea_

_I could stand here for hours just to ask God the question_

_'Is everyone here make-believe?'_

_With a tear in his voice he says _

_'Son that's the question.'_

_Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?"_

_'You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds'_

-Mayday Parade

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

You expect it in bigger cities.

Well...maybe you don't expect it really. It should never actually be expected anywhere, but it was just a little less believable to have happened there.

Awful things happened, true. It was unavoidable. But what had happened four days ago, right in that building, no one ever could have imagined.

On Thursday a gun was fired twice. Classes were canceled Friday. Not it was Monday and everything was different.

If you were able to get through the swarms of media who'd descended on their school lawn like vultures for a mean, each of them looking for some award winning story or shot of the broken teen population trying to move on from what was dubbed as "the most tragic event in the high school's history"...if you could get through that, you would next find the shining new metal detectors and security troop waiting at the entrance to allow you permission to come in.

But past the physical evidence...beyond flowers at a locker, or a new pane of glass on the door, or the scrape Peyton got from falling into a locker, or a specific bruise Haley had from some random unintended kick...there was a deeper wound. It cut their hearts and minds, leaving a horrid scar while, at the same time, served as a bright blinking reminder of how precious it all was.

She sat quietly in class, staring out the window while others around her concentrated on the work she'd already finished. Haley brushed some hair behind her ear, mentally listing all the good things. Wanting to hold on to any and all rays of sunlight in her life. That was when the door opened, the sound in the silence attracting everyone's attention. Every eye following the office aide who entered without a word to hand a slip of paper to the instructor before leaving.

"Haley." the bearded teacher spoke after reading it; speaking more in a solemn tone once her eyes looked up to him. "Your turn."

She nodded, slipping her books into her bag and leaving, grabbing the pass from him when she walked in front of his desk. Haley took the familiar path of halls to her destination. Knowing what she'd have to pass by when she did. Coming to the specific thing that twisted her stomach and wrenched her heart, she paused her journey in front of the locker.

Her soft eyes took in the different types of flowers; some solitary and others bundled in a bouquet. There was even a lit candle on the floor, scentless and simple. Just a white candle burning with a prayer. She roamed over the letters and cards of handwritten messages. All saying the same basic message with different words. But it was the pictures taped to the door under the 'We Miss You' sign that held countless signatures, that were the most difficult.

Haley moved from picture to picture, taking in details of each. At the Rivercourt, at a Raven's game, with Mouth, with Lucas. A smile in every one. It seemed like a different world.

Lifting the flap of her messenger bag, she tentatively pulled out her own photograph. She looked at it a moment in her hand before placing it with the others. Gazing at it, now in a spot of it's own, she remembered the day it was taken. It wasn't anything special. Just a random day; a picture of them on the bleachers watching the guys play ball. A picture taken without any significant moment or event or memory that needed to be captured; it was just a picture. Taken simply because Brooke felt like taking a picture.

She kept her eyes on the frozen image of her, still hearing Brooke's voice telling her to smile while she held one arm around Haley and the other holding out the camera in front of them. A few seconds more before her heart demanded it didn't want to take anymore and for her to continue on. Taking a deep breath she walked away from Brooke's locker.

Sitting in the specific office, somewhat uncomfortable in the chair, she remembered being in there not too long ago. But she knew this time it wouldn't be the regular guidance counselor sitting in front of her and they wouldn't be discussing her college dreams.

"Haley James?" a woman asked as she entered, making the student sit up a little straighter at her presence.

"Yes." she answered, not sure how this was going to go. She'd never done anything like it before. Never talked to a professional anything in such a way.

"Nice to meet you Haley, I'm Andrea Morgan." she introduced herself as she sat down in the desk that wasn't hers.

"Hi." Haley replied, fiddling nervously with her fingers as she watched her situate herself.

"Alright, before we start anything, I want you to know that anything you say to me remains exclusively between us." she stated. "This is a safe place, you can talk to me and it stays only with me. Understand?"

Haley nodded again already feeling intimidated by the situation. What kind of things did they think she'd say? How much was she expected to say?

"Ok. Good." she said with an encouraging smile before asking; " Do you know why you're here?"

Haley nodded and looked down at her hands. Of course she knew. After what happened, Dan actually paid out of his pocket to bring in professional psychologists to speak with anyone who needed it. He had basically the whole town praising his generosity and devotion to the students. Haley didn't praise him. She hadn't addressed it just yet, but she was still pretty sure that he had a hand in the time capsule release which ultimately led them all to where they were now. There had been too much happening to say anything about it right away, especially if she may be wrong.

"Haley?" Dr. Morgan asked, tilting her head down to catch Haley's downcast face. When the girl lifted her eyes she asked. "Why are you here?"

"Because of what happened." she answered quietly, then strengthened her voice to continue. "The shooting."

"That's why I'm here." the woman replied, keeping a calm voice that Haley figured all in her field needed to perfect. "My colleagues and I are here to discuss with anyone who feels the need to express their feelings after the shooting. But do you know why you, specifically, are here with me right now?"

Haley knew this too. Yes the woman in front of her as well as the other two professionals who were in other borrowed offices came to be ears for any who wished to seek them out. But there was a select group of students who were called on. Some who didn't have the choice to determine whether or not they wanted to speak with them. There was a list of names and Haley was on that list.

"Because I was inside."

The older woman nodded at the answer. She was brought there and made available for the week, or longer if she felt necessary, for those who needed help. However, the school thought first priority ought to be for the students that were, for one reason or another, stuck in the building for the duration of the events. It totaled out to thirty two students spread about and hiding in various rooms by the time everyone was brought out.

"Tell me about that day for you." she requested. "What happened, how you felt. Anything you want to say."

* * *

"Why?" Peyton asked defiantly, arms crossed over her chest as if she was protecting herself. "You know what happened. The whole country knows what happened."

"Talking out your feelings after a traumatic event can often be a cathartic experience, a release." the man reasoned. "You may feel some relief at having talked about it."

Peyton sighed, she didn't want to talk about it, she wanted to forget it. She wanted it to have never happened. But she also wanted this to be over and just get back to class or, more likely, just ditch and head out somewhere else. So she'd answer.

"I was talking to Haley in the hall when it happened."

* * *

"I was outside the Tutor Center with Peyton. I heard this scream and then the, uh, the shot." she let out a breath when she thought about it. "It was so loud."

* * *

"I'd never heard anything like it before. I mean, you hear it in movies or whatever, but it's different in real life." she hugged herself tighter.

* * *

"Everyone started running. Someone bumped into me, knocked me down. I was stuck. People kept rushing on, everyone was panicking I thought I was going to be trampled."

* * *

"I saw Haley on the ground. I helped her up and we tried to hurry out, but she couldn't move to fast."

* * *

"Car accident." Haley answered when asked why she couldn't run easily away like all others did. "We found the first unlocked door and hid inside."

* * *

"I wasn't there when it started." Nathan told answered. He then leaned forward a bit and ran a hand down his face, blowing out a breath as he did so. Angry that he was forced to be there. "The team was coming back from morning practice. As soon as we got there, it was...crazy. Everyone was running, screaming and just...We had no idea what was going on until a friend told us."

"What were you thinking then?" The woman asked, touching leaning her cheek against against her hand in a standard 'I'm listening' pose.

* * *

"About the people I love. My family, my friends...Nathan. Mostly Nathan. I was happy he wasn't there. I mean, turns out he was, but at the time, I didn't know that. I thought about the last time we talked, last thing I said to him."

* * *

"My wife." he answered simply. It was simple for Nathan. It was the only thing that mattered. "I knew she was inside. I kept thinking she needed me. That I had to get to her. So I ran inside."

* * *

"That I was going to die." Peyton said solemnly. "My dad was going to lose someone else he loved."

"How did you feel?"

All three answering teens in separate rooms answered the question with the same one word response.

"Scared."

Peyton scratched her head, the first time she'd removed her arms from the defensive position she'd taken. As she continued to answer questions, her resolve to hold out becoming less and less.

"It was like we were in that closet for hours." she went on, feeling slightly more open about sharing the events. She bounced her leg up and down as she continued. "Then Lucas showed up."

* * *

"He was a Godsend."

**XX XX XX**

Peyton stood in the dark, holding the only makeshift weapon in a death grip. Making herself as flat as possible against the inside wall just beside the doorway, she took a deep breath hoping to calm her panicking heart. Haley stood next to her, holding tight to the handle of another broom. Little it would do against a gun, they both were aware of that, but if they could surprise the shooter, knock him off guard long enough, maybe they could have the smallest chance.

The door opened and the blonde immediately swung with all her might as the light entered the small space. She missed, but the accompanying voice that exclaimed in surprise at the action, made her glad she did.

"Oh my God!" Haley breathed out as she practically leaped into his arms terrified and relieved. "Lucas. You're ok. You're ok, right? What are you doing here?"

He was supposed to be somewhere else. Somewhere safe. But selfishly she was happy he was there. Peyton quickly joined her in holding on to the boy and he answered her question sandwiched between the girls.

"We're looking for you guys." he answered, breathing a bit easier with the two girls now in his arms. But there was still an anvil on his chest that would remain until there was one specific girl he could wrap up. "Are you guys alright?"

"We're fine." Peyton answered. "Scared, but fine."

"Lucas," Haley began nervously, taking a step back to look at him. "You said we...Nathan?"

"He went to the Tutor Center." he told her, then looked past them into the closet. "Where's Brooke?"

**XX XX XX**

"Nathan?" the dark haired boy looked up across the desk when he heard his name. "Tell me about Brooke Davis."

"I shouldn't have brought her with me." he began after a silence where he tensed his jaw, angry at himself and the whole situation. He folded his arms together then pulled them apart and leaned forward, leaning his face in his hands. Then leaning back, he continued. "I should have gotten her out as soon as I found her; as soon as I saw..."

He sighed, trying to keep himself under control.

"She said she'd been cut by glass. I never thought...I think I just, I didn't want to believe it was possible that it could've been something else. That she'd been...she'd been shot."

**XX XX XX**

"Brooke!" he called her name when he saw his friend on the floor; unconscious before she hit.

His heart shot up his throat and he forgot that Jimmy had just been pointing the gun at him, instantly dropping next to her.

"Brooke?" he asked, terrified, laying a hand against her cheek and patting it to try to rouse her. Had she been so pale before? "Brooke? Brooke!"

No response came from her and Nathan didn't know what to do. Skills came as well, his foot squeaking as he slipped just a half-step next to them. "Nate."

Drawing Nathan's eye to the collected presence of red coming from the fallen girl. It made Nathan want to slap himself and throw up at the same time. How did he not notice it? Or the almost black stain on her shirt?

Trying to think clearly, he moved his shaking hands to the hem of the wet shirt and lifted it carefully until he saw the deep color what was thick enough it had to be where it was coming from. He couldn't see the exact wound for all the blood, but he knotted his hands and covered it anyway.

Nausea lurched in the pit of his stomach when his fingers became slick with his friend's blood.

"Move your hands." Skills told him, trying to hand him his shirt for better use against the wound. Nathan was focused, staring down at his bloody hands as he desperately tried to keep the girl alive. "Nathan!"

Finally registering him, the dark haired terrified teen then did so, soon putting pressure on fabric as opposed to bare skin.

"No!" Mouth's shout came from across the room.

Nathan's entire being then jerked in surprise at the next sound that came.

**XX XX XX**

"I never," he cleared his throat. "I've never been around somebody who died. I mean, my great-grandpa died when I was a kid and I went to the funeral. But I've never been around while somebody actually died. Like saw them alive and then saw them ...I guess most people don't."

"It must have been difficult."

* * *

"It was." Peyton replied. "Sitting there again. Waiting _again_. Knowing Lucas had just run off towards a gunshot like an idiot. And I know Haley was freaking out thinking about Nathan being there now too. We-" she cut herself off with a quick laugh and shook her head. "We sang. Can you believe that? We actually sat there and sang."

"You sang?" he repeated.

"Yeah.' she gave a small smile. "Crazy right? All this hell breaking and we're singing The Beatles in a closet."

* * *

"When the door opened again and I saw Nathan..." Haley searched for words to explain it. "I've never been happier to see anybody in my life. I mean, I can't even tell you how it felt. Then I saw the blood..."

**XX XX XX**

Never had it felt better to hold someone; to be held.

Nathan's arms wrapped around her, squeezing with the strength of a python suffocating it's prey. He held her with a fiercely powerful grip, yet there was such a gentility in it. He was no doubt aware the harm his full strength could do to her small body.

Haley didn't care.

If he squeezed hard enough to break her in half, she couldn't care. All that mattered was feeling him, hearing his breath blowing into her hair in heavy pants.

She held as tightly as she could, hoping maybe if it was strong enough, the barriers of their bodies would shatter and it would leave only their souls mingling into one. It was a strange strange thought, but at the same time, it felt like the only thing that would ever make anything feel right again.

He kissed her head, her hair, pulling back he put several quick desperate kisses on her lips. She went back and forth between calling him an idiot and covering him in those same kisses.

Haley didn't notice the blood on her husband's hands or shirt until Peyton, who she'd forgotten about the moment his face appeared in that doorway, spoke up.

"Nathan..." she started frightfully. "you're bleeding."

Haley pulled back instantly and looked him over terrified. Finally spotting the red coating his hands.

"Oh my God." she breathed out. "Nathan."

He looked at her, something in his eyes scared her. Something that said it was news he didn't want to say and news that she wouldn't want to hear.

"It's not mine."

**XX XX XX**

Peyton shifted uncomfortably, reaching the part in the story she really didn't want to talk about.

"Can I go now?" she asked.

"I'd like to talk about what happened to Jimmy and to Brooke." he stated, all of them having been given the facts of the general events of that day. Of those facts were those two names and the unfortunate events that befell the young lives. "How do you feel about it?"

"It sucks." she answered simply. "That enough?"

The look he gave her told her that it was not enough and she was not given permission to leave. She blew out a breath and spoke again.

"Look, I didn't know Jimmy." she answered. "He was a friend of Lucas, ok? Not me. To me, he was just a sick, scared kid. That's it. Alright?"

"And Brooke Davis?"

Peyton cleared her throat and adjusted herself in the chair more than once, as if finding a comfortable sitting position would make talking about it easier.

"Brooke..." she shook her head and looked down a minute, just saying her name hurt right now. She lifted her head with a shine of tears in her eyes. "You ever have a best friend? I don't mean like, giving the title to someone cause they like the same thing you do or because they gave you a cookie or whatever the hell reason people hand it out anymore. I mean a _best_ friend. Someone who you're so close with it's like they're an extension of you, like an arm or a torso or something. You're not completely yourself without them. That kind of friend?"

"I can't say I've been that lucky."

"It's hard to believe there was ever a time when she wasn't a part of my life. That we even had lives before each other. That's what I can say about Brooke. You never wake up one day and think I'm gonna lose my arm today. You just don't expect something bad to happen to your best friend."

**XX XX XX**

They sat, all of them, occupying a fair deal of the available chairs in the waiting room. They'd all been respectively checked out and all had given statements to police officers either there at the hospital or at the school itself. Now they sat, waiting.

All of them spread out. Together but apart.

Lucas anxiously sat in the closest chair to the Nurse's Desk. He wanted to see the news coming. The look on the doctor's face would tell him right away if it was good or bad. If his heart would continue to beat; if there would be a tomorrow or if the sun would never shine quite right again. His mother was next to him, one hand supportive and comforting on his thigh, the other being held by Keith who sat on the other side of her.

Peyton sat a few seats away, her own mother at her side. Ellie had been crazed to get inside the gym to see if the blonde teenager was safely inside or not. She was more than relieved and incredibly surprised to receive a phone call from the girl she sat beside, telling her that she was alright and asking her to come. It was a breathtaking moment for the older woman, to be asked for by Peyton was greater than great even if it was in such an awful circumstance.

On the opposite wall, Haley saw with Nathan her hand in his. He continuously ran his thumb softly over a small scratch on the back of her hand she'd somehow acquired that day. They had only broken contact long enough for their respectively once overs. Other than that, their hands were always entwined with each others.

The elevator bell rang and bickering could be heard while the doors opened. The voices, though they stopped as soon as the metal plates slid away, it was obvious before than who the owners were.

"Nathan." Deb called with tearful relief, rushing over to her only child. The young couple raised and released their hands while Nathan returned his mother's embrace. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Mom." he answered while they released from each other. He realized when he saw his mother's worried face come towards him that he hadn't thought about her once when he ran into the school. He hadn't taken her into consideration at all when he charged towards possible demise for Haley. He felt bad for worrying her, but knew he'd do the same thing without thinking just as he had earlier.

"Here." I-I brought you a clean shirt like you asked." she fumbled with emotional hands, handing the fabric over trying to ignore the stains on the one he currently wore.

"Thanks."

She nodded, wiping her eye then looked over for the first time. She then surprised Haley, who never knew where she stood with her mother-in-law, by wrapping her in a hug as well.

"Thank God you're both ok." she stated as she squeezed her. Haley, not didn't expect it but welcomed it. She always wanted to be on good terms with the woman. She gave an easier embrace in return until they separated.

Dan then approached, having paused to ask Lucas if he was ok. His first born gave him a curt 'Fine' to dismiss him and return to waiting for news from the doctors.

"Son." Dan greeted, hugging Nathan as his mother had. The teen a little hesitant to respond patted his father's back a few times. "Glad you're alright."

"Thanks." he answered.

"Haley." he nodded at her. She wasn't expecting any hugs from him, but acknowledging her in a civil way was just fine with her.

"Mr. Scott." she greeted in return.

"If you'll excuse us," Dan started to her. "this really is a time for family."

"Dan." Deb hissed at the same time Nathan declared. "Dad!"

"Really, Dan?" Deb asked cynically. "You're doing this today? Now?"

"Excuse me for wanting some alone time with my son after fearing for his life."

"It's ok." Haley pulled Nathan aside while his parents continued their back and forth.

"No. You're not going anywhere just because my dad's an asshole." he assured her.

"It's fine." she answered. "I want to see how Lucas is holding up."

She stood up on her toes and gave him a quick kiss promising she'd be right back.

Haley approached the blonde boy with a familiar greeting between them.

"Hey buddy."

"Hi." he answered after looking her direction and seeming surprise to see her there. Karen excused her and Keith to go get coffee and give the friends some time together. Haley took the seat the older woman had occupied.

"How are you doing?"

"Been better." he answered. "You?"

"Definitely."

"You know her parents haven't answered their phones yet." he started. "The hospital called, I called. I left message on the numbers I have. Do you have any?" she shook her head and he continued to speak. "They're letting Mom give consent since she lived with us for a while. What about you? Get in touch with your folks?"

"Went straight to voice mail for both, figure they've got lousy signal wherever they are. But I left message for them basically just saying I'm fine."

They sat silently for a few minutes, she just kept her hand on her best friend's shoulder, wishing she could comfort him. Lucas was always helping her, always there to wrap his long arms around her in a hug and tell her everything was going to be ok. Now he was in front of her, the one who needed someone to keep him from falling apart.

"She'll be ok." he stated suddenly, looking over in the direction the doctor should be coming from. Then he turned and focused in on her. "Right?"

Haley had never seen such a broken look in those eyes in all their years together. She was pretty sure all that kept him together was the necklace he squeezed tightly in his right palm. It was Brooke's. His Christmas present to her. Haley knew for a fact how much Brooke loved it; she wore it everyday since he gave it to her.

"Yeah." she answered, rubbing his shoulder. "Yeah, she'll be fine."

Lucas noticed the direction her eyes had been cast and looked down at his own hand.

Opening his hand so it lay atop his palm, he stared at it and spoke in an eerily detached voice.

"The clasp broke on the ride over."

**XX XX XX**

Peyton exited the specific office and the counseling area all together. Keeping her demeanor just long enough to rush away from all the prying pitying eyes of faculty members, she didn't take a breath until she was out in the hall. Leaning back against the wall and wrapping her arms around herself, she put up small fight against the emotion welling and slipping out her eyes.

That had been hard. Talking about it; reliving it all with some stranger who was there because he was getting paid. But she'd done it. Now what?

What good did it do to talk it out? Did it take any of it away? Did it erase that day? Would it undo any of it?

If she went back to class, would Brooke be sitting the empty desk next to her, bored to death with the actual class but thrilled and entertained by whatever Brooke thoughts she conjured up in her head.

No. All of it; a big resounding no.

What was the point? He said it would make her feel better, but here she was, crying in the hall. Sure, she felt great.

She was giving more and more power to the thought of simply skipping the rest of the day and finding something much more her speed for processing and dealing. Like cranking just the right song and tearing through her art supplies, making a mess of the room around her to see what creation ended up coming out of the emotion. Yeah. That was what she would do. That was how Peyton Sawyer would try to deal with all of this.

She could go see how Lucas was doing. He had, for good reason, not come to school and Karen had been totally understanding and allowed him not to without any fuss. Part of her was afraid to go see him. Afraid of the state she'd find him in. But they were all in some pained broken state now. She remembered when her mom died, the only thing that kept her from completely breaking to pieces was having Brooke there. Crying with her, hurting with her.

She heard the door open next to her and quickly ran her hands over her face, hoping not to show evidence of the tears to whoever it was that happened to be walking by. True she didn't put much stock into what people thought, but one thing she did care about was the fact that she wasn't vulnerable to someone who didn't earn that from her. You didn't get to see her weakness if you were just a spectator. She tried hard to keep that, even now. Turning to see who entered the hall, she got a small surprise.

Haley stood just outside the door in the hall looking down and taking a deep breath. With a sniffle and a swipe of her hand under her eyes, she turned to return to class. Her single footstep halted abruptly when she looked up saw a teary Peyton watching her. The girl adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder awkwardly and turned the opposite direction of the blonde to take the long roundabout way back.

"Haley." Peyton called out, stepping off the wall to stand straight when the other girl began to walk away from her. She paused and turned to hold her gaze a moment. Peyton lifted her shoulders uncertainly and began "Can we-"

"I can't." Haley interrupted taking a step back, putting even more space between them. "I've got to get to class."

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

He sat unmoving.

He could tell by the amount of light coming in the window that the afternoon was carrying on as normal.

Four days.

Four days ago it happened. Days that simply went on as if everything was the same. There was no disruption in the proceeding of time. It was disgusting...that it all just continued on without a hiccup.

Monday.

School had started back up, but he didn't go. It didn't matter. Nothing did.

All that registered to him at the moment was the necklace once again in his hand. It had broken that day. He should have known what it was; should have seen it was an omen.

In the waiting room he'd held on to it as hard as possible; squeezing so tightly it had left it's impression in his skin. Holding it now, it was more gentle. Treating it as he should have then. It was a treasure. It was her.

His treasure. His Pretty Girl.

He couldn't keep from kicking himself, blaming himself, hating himself.

If he hadn't taken precious time to argue with Nathan about being in the school. If he had moved faster. If he and Nathan hadn't split up. If he hadn't drifted from his friendship with Jimmy.

All the ifs and it always came around to the same painful fact. It didn't matter. All the pieces, he couldn't change any of them now. The chips fell and it cost him, cost everyone, so much.

At the time he'd questioned Nathan's sanity, questioned his rationality and decision. But he saw now what he should have seen four days ago. His brother had it right. Nathan knew what was important and didn't let anything else even entertain the idea of stopping.

He stood and walked across the room to where his laptop sat open, playing down a list of songs for the room. Reluctantly tapping a key, interrupting the screen saver of the picture slide show he moved his finger across the mouse pad. He had been playing only songs from her. She'd made him two mixes in the course of their relationship so far. Most of the music wasn't exactly in his taste except for a few songs they could agree on. But it was strictly her.

He played them through more than a few times. Pictured her dancing to them; heard her voice singing along to every word. It hurt almost as much as it made it him smile. He thought if he played those songs it would help, but now he searched through his collection until he found what he looked for.

His blue eyes looked on the screen as it switched to read Now Playing – 'Brucas Mix'. The compilation Peyton had put together in honor of their reunion. A unique combination of both their types. Taking in a breath as the first song started, he manually turned back on the screen saver. Right away the slide show began again, images of them together or just her started taking their turns one by one in front of him.

Lucas carefully traced her smiling face with a feather light touch; gentle enough not to press the screen and distort the beautiful color of her picture. He looked back over his shoulder a moment then walked to the window, looking out. With a pained sigh, he spoke out loud at the glass.

"School's out by now." speaking to himself but not to himself. He knew she was listening even if he never heard an answer.

Turning back around to return to where he'd been sitting as a track that was completely him began. He lowered and sighed once more, a now familiar sting in his eyes. He focused them through the beginning blur, clearing his throat and continuing his lonely conversation.

"They'll probably be coming by in a bit." he spoke, knowing it was the truth. They'd all been by at several times and various lengths over the past painful days. Running a hand over his rough jaw, she once the rugged look was good on him, but that he should never let it get farther than that.

"_Some people are beard people. Some people aren't. You are not. If you try we're through." _he could hear her teasing when he had jokingly brought up after not shaving that he was going for the mountain man look.

He let out a small smile remembering the conversation.

"How about we give them a nice surprise, huh? Like only Brooke Davis can deliver."

He leaned forward to the mattress and laid his hand over the still one he loved so much; that fit so well into his.

"Show everyone those beautiful eyes again." he requested of her, waiting a moment to see if she would comply

"Look," he began when she didn't, raising his occupied hand as if she were actually looking. "Mom took it to the jeweler. It's fixed."

Rising, he leaned forward, lying it down across the delicate skin where her neck ended. He have proven that he spoke the truth by securing it around her, but he didn't want to jostle her head in anyway to need to do so. He sat back down, gazing at the jewelery against the soft skin of his slumbering girlfriend. Then his eyes went to her face.

"Beautiful."

Taking her limp hand in both of his, he pressed his lips into it then leaned and held it against his forehead.

"Brooke.." he breathed painfully, closing his eyes. "Please."

His broken heart beat six times...then he felt it. The smallest flutter against his skin; a tiny twitch from the hand he held. The minute muscle contraction raised his head and every hope he hand.

"Brooke?" he spoke her name with such anxious hope.

A moment passed, then another, then a small moan answered him.

He leaned forward, barely in his chair, touching his palm to her cheek, the other gripped her hand tighter.

"Come on." he encouraged. "Come on Pretty Girl. Come back to me."

"Lucas." her voice whispered, barely audible but the most beautiful sound he'd ever hear in his life.

"Yeah." he breathed out in a half-laugh of relief, tears in his eyes.

He stood completely from the seat and leaned over her pillow. Putting a kiss on her forehead and keeping inches from her.

"I'm here. I'm right here, baby."

"Lucas." she said again, slightly stronger yet still a whispered volume. Eyes still closed, scrunched in confusion she habitually turned her head a few inches toward the sound of his voice.

"Yes." he smiled, leaning to touch his forehead to hers. His heart finally beating again.

"What the hell are we listening to?"

Lucas laughed as he kept the close contact between them, tears of relief slipping out his eyes.

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

She stared out the window from the dark living room of her apartment. Hugging her torso in the light pajama tank, her eyes focused on the glass; looking through it to the rain that fell from the sky.

It was late and Haley had been drawn from bed by the storm. The day that started so rough and emotional became an immensely happy one when she got the call from Lucas and then saw with her own eyes that her roommate was awake. Still emotional, but in a much more preferred way.

Watching the water come down, her mind drifted to the last time.

**XX XX XX**

She lay in the large bed, hugging a pillow to her chest. She wasn't used to being in a big bed alone. Even when her and Nathan weren't sharing a bed or even living together, the only time she'd been in bed bigger than the one's she was used to was after the accident when she and Brooke slept on the same mattress...this mattress.

Brooke.

Tears came instantly as the name came back to her for the millionth time.

Brooke had been shot, her future uncertain. Lucas was a mess, his survival dependent upon hers.

And Haley was regretting parting from Nathan hours ago. He'd taken her up to the school to pick up Brooke's car and offered to follow her back to the apartment and stay. They could comfort each other. Hold one another and just find some way to hide in the others arms from the unbelievable pain of the day.

Like an idiot, she assured him she'd be ok. She had missed calls from each sibling and wanted to return each of them. Which she had done. Haley spent time on the phone with every James from Vivian to her parents. Even Taylor had left her a concerned message and demanded she be called asap. She spoke more to them all that day, because of what happened, than she had since they'd all moved out.

Haley felt new tears fall to the pillowcase as her mind returned to thoughts of Brooke and what Lucas was going through sitting at her side and praying for the best.

Then, like a bolt of lightning, the tears stopped pouring out and she suddenly felt clearer than she could remember ever being. Without hesitation, she got out of the bed, grabbing Brooke's car keys and running out the door.

A crack of thunder boomed overhead and the sky opened up the second she pulled her friend's bug into the driveway. Exiting into the downpour, the rain falling in sheets and drenching her within seconds, Haley rand to the door and immediately began ringing the bell and knocking over and over.

"Nathan." she called as she did so. "Nath-"

The door opened in the middle of his name revealing not Nathan, but his father instead.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked angrily, his big figure taking up the doorway. "Do you have any idea what time it is? What's the matter with you?!"

"I need to see Nathan." she state to which he scoffed.

"Sorry, Honey, kitchen's closed." he spat, stepping back to shut the door, but she stepped forward, stopping him with her presence.

"Nathan!" she shouted into the house, all those lessons on manners her parents had given her over the years a distant memory not registering on her radar as she screamed into someone's sleeping house in the middle of the night.

Annoyed, Dan put his palm on her wet shoulder and pushed her out of the way. As soon as he did so, a new voice joined them.

"What the- Haley!" Nathan's voice came and then he was there.

Dan said something of protest that his son didn't hear or just plain ignored and pushed past him until he was outside with her.

"Haley, what's going on?" he asked, himself automatically becoming soaked as he stood with her. "You're not even wearing shoes..or real clothes. Are you crazy?"

"Yes." she answered without a beat of hesitation. Both of them speaking loudly to be heard over the storm surrounding them. She nodded and smiled, continuing. "I think so."

He smiled back at the strange response, amused and shook his head. "I don't under-"

"You remember," she started suddenly, interrupting his statement of confusion. "what I said in the hospital after the accident? You said you wanted us to be together and I said we, we shouldn't just jump back in. That we should go slow; come back to each other the right way? You remember that?"

"Of course, I remember. What-"

"Well forget it." she demanded abruptly.

"Forget it?" he repeated, so confused by her behavior.

"Yeah. Forget it. The whole thing; all of it. Forget it. I was wrong. So very stupidly wrong."

"Haley-" still attempting to get a word in to find out what was going on. She stepped up to him, and put her hands on his shoulders and he could see the anxiousness in her eyes and gestures. She was ready to bounce of the walls. The dead of night and she was the most awake he'd ever seen anyone.

"You told me once, that we're not normal and you were right. We're not normal, Nathan. We've never been normal. Nothing about us being together at all has ever made sense in the world. But it's also the only thing that _does_ make sense. Do you get it? Because I know it sounds, anyway listen. I know I'm supposed to be grounded one, the logical thinker, TutorGirl, whatever and that's who I was when I said that, when I thought that...I also know that I'm rambling like an insane person right now but I don't care because I love you."

She smiled, stepped back from him and then stepped forward again, unable to stand still as she spoke and continued on.

"I love you, Nathan. I love you and nothing else matters except that. No logic or thought out plans or anything. Because I'm seeing right now what I should have seen that day in the hospital. Normal or not; the right way or the wrong, it doesn't matter how we find each other. All that matters is whether I die tomorrow or live to be a hundred, I don't want to take another breath without you next to me; breathing that same moment with me. Always and forever."

Haley finally stopped, having said everything she needed to. Everything that was waiting inside of her to pour out over him. She still felt the anxious energy, not caring that she was, in fact, barefoot on the concrete walk of his house or that she was soaked through every inch of her pajamas. Nathan said nothing at first, he just looked at her, drenched to the bone and all out of sorts but never had he seen her more beautiful than that moment. He couldn't help the pure smile that owned his face as he let every single word really sink in and take it's place in his heart.

"Nathan!" his father said forcefully, watching his son stand in the pouring rain.

In the dark, in the storm, Dan could still see the ridiculous smile on his face as he stared at the girl after her rant. He did not move his gaze when Dan called to him again. Entranced by the vixen's presence. Dan couldn't believe he was falling for it. He wouldn't allow it. Not again.

"Nathan!" he shouted this time, moving himself out into the rain and towards them. He spun his son around, water flying off the boy when he did and ordered him back in the house. "Nathan, don't listen to her. Don't fall for this again! And you-," he pointed at Haley. "stay the hell away from my son."

"No." she answered simply loud enough to be heard, still smiling as she found Nathan's eyes, she said in a softer voice. "Never."

"You little-" Nathan suddenly shoved his father away from him, halting whatever threat or insult was on his tongue.

Not acknowledging what he'd done or sparing a care for the man, Nathan took determined steps back towards her and closer. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around her, smashing his mouth onto hers. Tasting the rainwater that danced on her lips, he tightened his hold and lifted her small body off it's feet, spinning her in a circle.

**XX XX XX**

Haley was pulled from the memory when she felt a body behind her. She didn't jump at the suddenly touch of arms wrapping around her stomach. She knew it was him. It would always be and it was how it should be.

He kissed her neck and she ran a hand up to his hair.

"You ok?"

"Perfect." she answered, looking outside she contently sighed. "I love the rain."

"Me too." he answered, leaning down to put his chin on her shoulder as he gave her a squeeze. "Come back to bed?"

"Absolutely."


	30. Burst Wide Open

**A/N: WOW! A thousand thank you's for the amazing reviews. And in return I offer a thousand apologies for scaring people with my Brooke fake out. Hope you don't hate me and will continue to follow these lovely characters through to the conclusion of this journey despite any scary feelings you may have for me now :P.. I'll even let you throw something at me if you want. Just give me fair warning so I can brace for impact...or not. The surprise factor can be pretty hilarious from the point of view of the one doing it. Anyone ever see the milk explosion video on ? Hahaha. **

**Alrighty, I'm totally flying off topic, sorry. Back to what matters now.**

**P.S. And in three words I can say DAMN MY LAPTOP! I'm pretty sure it's dead for good. So I'm sharing the family comp. hence the lengthy length with the updates. It's hard to find a window of time required for typing and all when 7 people use one computer! Gar! Soon though, a few paychecks and I'll get myself a shiny new lappity all my own. **

**Onward.**

**

* * *

**

"_It's going to break_

_It's going to burst_

_Wide open on our love_

_It's going to shock_

_It's going to sting_

_It's going to release the dream."_

'_Burst Wide Open'_

-Enation

* * *

She inhaled deeply, the scent of the morning air as her body began to wake. Feeling the awkwardness of a soft shape that wasn't the mattress between her shoulders, her mind woke as well, allowing her to register that it was the pillow while she stretched her arms over her head and felt the headboard with her palms. Holding the position a few moments, she released the breath and brought her arms back down, eyes opening when her elbow knocked against something hard.

Nathan let out a grunt and scrunched his face up as he rolled from his spot facing her and onto his back.

"Ouch." he spoke, putting his hand to the top of his head. "Good morning to you too."

"I'm sorry." she apologized, with a laugh, turning on her side to look at him. "You alright? Any head trauma?"

He laughed at the her playful question and returned to his position.

"Let's see. there's two of you," he started. "So I'm amazing."

She smiled at him and ran a finger over his eyebrow, reminding herself for the hundredth time that this was real. Even at the moment, lying next to him, it all still seemed like a dream she'd wake from all too soon.

It still felt unreal when she thought about how incredible it had been; that night in the storm. The way he tasted in the rain engraved in her memory for the rest of her life. Then he left with her, Dan screaming at them while becoming smaller and smaller in the mirror as they drove towards the apartment.

She remembered being soaked to the bone, covered in goosebumps but never feeling warmer in her life as his hands expertly roamed her bare body. Carving their reconciliation in stone and reclaiming everything in one another that belonged to them.

"Still not used to sharing a bed again, yet?" he asked in regards to his unexpected wake up.

She smiled looking down at him from where she'd woken up higher on the mattress than him.

"Just not used to be taller than you."

"Easy fix." he stated with a glint in his eye and wrapped an arm around her waist under the blanket. She squealed in surprise when he pulled her down to even them out. "That's better."

"No more concussions." she agreed.

"And a lot more of this."

He connected their lips, the hand on her waist sliding up her back as she pressed further against him. She laughed into his mouth when he pulled her on top of him. Adjusting herself atop him, Haley took in a deep breath of him as she leaned in and deepened the kiss. His palms slid up and down the smooth surface of her bare back.

When the kiss broke, she pulled back enough to look into his eyes. Staring deeply into them, Nathan recognized something like concern appear in the beautiful browns before him.

"Nathan, is this ok?" she asked, slightly confusing him with the question. He grinned at her.

"It's way more than ok." he smiled, running his fingers through her hair as she sat straddling him. His wife smiled a moment before returning to her question.

"No, I mean, is it ok to be...happy?" she asked. "With what happened; there are still people hurting. I knew Jimmy. I know his mom...Is it selfish to be this happy so soon?"

Nathan sat up at her words, wrapping his arms around her, in case she thought she should move. He wanted to keep her right where she was; her skin on his, as close as possible.

"No." he answered simply, shaking his head while she hung her arms over his shoulders. "This is what it's about, Haley. Life. It's about love and happiness; finding it, keeping it. Yeah, there's bad stuff that happens; and yeah we feel bad when it does, but what matters is moving past it. Holding on to the good things. If that day taught us anything, it's that we're all only here for so long, you know. And while we are, we should feel all our feelings even more."

"Feel feelings." she repeated his eloquence with a smile. "How'd you get so smart?"

"I had a pretty awesome tutor." he answered with a shrug. The topic of their conversation brought something to mind he had been trying to find a way and a time to say since the shooting. "Listen, Haley, if I...if anything ever happens to me-"

"Don't do that." she requested, interrupting him and turning her face away at the thought, but his finger on her cheek ushered her back towards him.

"I want you to know how happy you've made me. How lucky I feel to be able to hold you and see you and have you in my life. I want you to know how much I love you."

"Nothing's going to happen to you." she replied. "It can't."

"I just want to say it." he stated, part of him terrified by his own words. He didn't want anything to ever happen that would take one of them away forever. He couldn't stand living without her and hated the thought of ever leaving her alone. But in light of everything, he had to make sure she knew things. "And, if it ever did, I want you to know that...that it'd be ok to be happy again."

"Stop, Nathan." she stated, holding him a little tighter, the conversation frightening her.

"Just promise me, that after bad things happen, whether or not it's about me, promise me you won't ever shut your feelings away. You're too beautiful."

"I promise, ok." she stated, sniffling and clearing her throat. "I promise to feel all my feelings no matter what happens, but you have to promise to never talk like this again."

"Promise." he responded not meaning to scare her.

They kissed again, not like their last one. This one wasn't meant to lead into the same thing the previous one had. They kissed and he laid back against the mattress, Haley laying down on top of him, keeping a secure hold on her husband as he held her the same way. With her head on his chest, she spoke a new thought against his skin.

"Even the bad ones?"

"What?" he asked, his chest vibrating beneath her head as he did so.

"Even the bad feelings?" she asked again. "Jealousy, anger...hate."

Nathan let out a sigh, understanding her conflict. She knew Jimmy, as she'd said. They had been friends at one point. And then after what happened, she felt sorry for him; guilty that she couldn't save him. But she didn't think it was right to feel any negative thoughts towards him.

"Haley, it's ok to be mad at Jimmy." he told her. "I know he was your friend and he was sick...but it's still ok to feel that way about him. To be mad him or even hate him a little for what he did. It's normal."

Haley bit her lip, still laying against his chest. She continued without moving. She spoke vaguely into the air. "I'm not talking about the shooting."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

She didn't answer and Nathan wondered who or what she could be angry about. His father maybe. He squeezed her a bit for her attention and raised his head a bit.

"Haley," he said her name, getting her to lift her own head from where it was. "What are you talking about?"

* * *

"Coming!" she hollered as she descended the stairs quickly. She spared an annoying thought towards why Ellie didn't answer the door when the pounding started but resigned to just do it herself. This was why she never locked the door.

Since Ellie began staying with her after the shooting, the door had been locked everyday. A habit of her biological mother, and most normal people, but not Peyton. But she didn't care enough to actually say anything to the woman. Despite their initial start, Peyton actually really enjoyed her company, so she let the detail slide without a word.

"Yeah, yeah." she called as another pound came on the door. She opened the door to see where the fire was.

"What?" she asked roughly when she opened it, then changed her tone in surprise." Nathan, wha-"

"What's the matter with you?" he asked angrily interrupting her.

"Um, I can give you a list if you've got time." she answered uneasily.

She had a feeling she knew what he meant however.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Peyton!" he replied, making her jump. Even in their worst fights as a couple , and their were some big ones, she'd never seen him as angry. "The ring. The snow. The fact that you nearly got my wife killed and then tried to bury it when she didn't remember."

"Ok, give me a second, Nathan, please and I'll-"

"What?" he asked. "You'll what? Explain? Go ahead!"

Peyton stepped back, putting distance between them. She'd never been afraid of Nathan, never thought he would actually hurt her ever, but she knew he had a temper that rose to a whole new level where Haley was concerned.

She remembered a time, being at the movies and some jerks were giving her, Brooke and Haley are hard time while they waited outside the specific auditorium while the guys got the concessions. Peyton and Brooke easily dismissed their 'romeos' but Haley, not used to that kind of attention, wasn't as able in getting him to take no for an answer.

Nathan had seen it, the fear and discomfort of his wife -_new _wife at the time – and easily inserted himself into the situation. Spinning the guy around, grabbing him by his collar and shoving him against the wall. No doubt if Haley hadn't stopped him he would have driven the point home with his fist that she wasn't interested.

Now _she_ was the cause, and Peyton had done more than hit on Haley. So she felt, just to be sure, it best to keep some space between the two of them. He stepped into the house and continued.

"Come on, Peyton!" he shouted, patting his chest with his palm. "Explain; make me understand."

"What's going on?" Ellie asked, running into the living room from wherever in the house she'd been, hearing the commotion.

"Nothing." Peyton answered, keeping her eyes on her visitor. "Can you give us a minute? Nathan and I have to talk."

"Talk?" Ellie asked, her sight on the seething teenager who looked strong as an ox.

"It's fine, Ellie." Peyton assured though this version of Nathan did scare her. "He won't hurt me."

She hoped.

When Ellie reluctantly left the room, Peyton began speaking.

"Nathan, look, I'm sorry. I really _really _am. For what I did...for hiding it; everything." she told him. "I was being a bitch and I wasn't thinking , you know. It's just, she left and -"

"Me, Peyton." he spoke up. "She left _me_. Not you. Technically, yes, she did leave everyone, but_ I_ was the one who had the most to lose when she did. Not you."

"I know." she replied. "But I saw how much she hurt you and it killed me."

Unable to keep from doing so he swiped his arm at an end table, knocking it over and making Peyton jump in place. Maybe he really would actually hurt her.

He took a deep breath. He didn't want to do anything worse. He didn't want to be that guy. Taking another breath he looked at the blonde.

"Don't put this on me, like you were defending my honor, Peyton." he demanded, his voice more controlled now. "You did it because of you. You did it, the consequences are yours. End of story."

He ran a hand through his hair and began again, looking at her differently now. No longer seeming angry, but more...struck; hurt.

"We've been friends a long time Peyton." he noted.

"We have." she agreed.

They were friends before they dated and sometimes even while they dated they actually were friendly with one another. But they'd actually the closest version of their friendship after they broke up.

"We've cared about each other; mattered to each other for years." she nodded and he let out a sigh and then spoke directly, a sorrow in the words. "Stay away from us."

"Nathan." she called to him shocked by his words. No more raging or anger of any sort.

Just simply telling her to stay away. He was right. They'd been in each others lives for a long time. Being told to stay away, losing him as a friend, losing all of them, not having a chance to make it up to Haley and get back to where they all were. She wished he had hit her instead. Shrugging her shoulders uncertainly, not knowing how to fix it.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah." he looked at her sadly a moment. "Me too."

* * *

"Knock knock."

The brunette looked up from her magazine at the greeting and smiled.

"TutorGirl!" she relied excitedly seeing her roommate entering the room.

Haley stopped at the side of the bed and handed a small stuffed tiger to her.

"Tiger for Tigger." she said, amused by her own comment as Brooke accepted the gift.

"I love it." she told her, putting it aside and opening her arms, inviting her for an embrace. "Come here."

Careful, not wanting to hurt her friend, Haley leaned in and hugged her as tight as she dared. Lucas called her when Brooke woke up but by the time she and Nathan arrived to see her she was asleep. A different sleep, thank god, but asleep nonetheless. Brooke squeezed her tightly, speaking as she did.

"I'm so happy to see you."

"You too." she answered before they broke. "Don't ever do that to me again."

"Well now we're even."

Haley let out a chuckle as she wiped her eye of it's relieved tear. She was amazed that simply hearing Brooke speak and seeing her awake and happy took so much weight that had settled on everything. Between her and Nathan, there was no doubt that all the horrible things that happened that day wouldn't hold power over their lives for too long. At least not the shooting anyway. There was still the matter of what she'd learned, or rather, remembered that day.

"So that's what this is about? Gotta one up me?"

"Yep." she nodded.

"So now I have to, what, fall out a window?"

"Don't you dare." She warned with a small laugh.

Haley stared at her a moment after sitting down. She had been so scared when Nathan told her who the blood belonged to. Then in the hospital, waiting for news, seeing Lucas fall apart in front of her. The feeling that she may never again have the girl in her life…

"Stop it." Brooke told her leaning back on her pillow, snapping Haley's mind back to the moment.

"Stop what?"

"What you're thinking." She elaborated. "Think I can't tell? Lucas gets that same look. I'm fine."

"You were shot Brooke." Haley reminded her as if she'd forgotten.

"Barely." She dismissed, not wanting to dwell on it, nor did she want her friend to either.

"You had to have your appendix removed."

"I wasn't even using it." She deflected the seriousness again. "Just extra weight, really. Now I'll fly higher in cheerleading."

"Brooke."

"Haley." She retorted, making the other girl shake her head. Brooke smiled a bit and put her hand over hers. "I'm fine, ok? I'm _going_ to be fine. I'll just find some creatively cute bikini to cover this gross scar come beach season."

Haley let out another laugh and patted her hand on the back of Brooke's. Like an agreement to let it go, at least for now and Brooke changed the subject.

"So what'd I miss?"

"Not much." Haley played coyly, delaying the news that her roommate would squeal to hear. "You know, school and everything. There's metal detectors now and security. Um,..Nathan and I slept together, you got some mail from your parents-"

"Wait, what?" the brunette suddenly interrupted, wondering if she'd heard right.

"Here." She produced an envelope from her purse as if it were what Brooke was referring to. "I think it's a check or something. I don't know."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Brooke said uninterested, throwing it aside to flutter to the floor. "Go back."

"Metal detectors?"

"Stop. About you and Nathan, smartass." She finally stated outright. "You slept together?"

Haley nodded happily, smile exploding on her face.

"When?"

"The night of the shooting." She answered, ten blushed and continued. "And every night since."

"Haley!" she exclaimed excitedly, barely able to keep from bouncing. "That's great!"

"It is. I can't even explain it, Brooke." She began. "There aren't any words for it. I mean, it was more than, than being together, more than making love it was like, I don't know, like we were all that existed; all that would ever exist."

"That's beautiful." Her friend smiled in return, absolutely thrilled for the couple. "But I want dirty details."

"Brooke!" she replied, wondering why she was surprised at the request.

"What?" she asked. "Come on, Haley. I've been waiting for Naley fireworks for months and do you know how long _I _ have to go without 'strenuous activity'? Help me out!"

"There's something else I actually wanted to talk to you about." She began uncertainly. "And I feel totally stupid for coming and dumping problems on you. I mean, hello, you've just been shot and here I come, but I don't really have anyone to talk to about this. I told Nathan and he practically flew out of the apartment and -"

"Oh my God." Brooke stopped her. "You're pregnant."

"What?"

"And Nathan just left?" she continued. "I'm going to kick his ass."

"Brooke, calm down." Haley declared. "I'm not pregnant."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Well, technically I guess I can't be sure. I mean, since it only been a few days and I would show signs of actually being pregnant until it's been at least-"

"Alright," Brooke interrupted. "I get it, you're not a tutormom-to-be. So what is it?"

Haley bit her lip, nervous about whether or not it really was a good idea to talk to Brooke about it. She and Peyton had already rebuilt their friendship once; Haley didn't want to put a new rift in it. But she had to talk it out with someone or she'd easily go mad thinking about it.

"Haley?" Brooke asked, now concerned that it was something serious. "What's wrong?"

"You know what? Never mind." She shook her head. "It's nothing."

"It's obviously something." Brooke noted, not about to allow her to change the subject when it was clearly bothering her. "Talk to me."

Haley glanced down a bit, her fingers finding her wedding ring; turning it around and around the finger it lived on once again. Brooke's eyes followed hers and put the dots together in her own mind. If Haley had the ring it meant Peyton had given it to her. She remembered seeing them talking before the gun went off, she just couldn't be sure how far the conversation had gone before it was cut short.

"Is it about Peyton?" she asked cautiously, which brought the other girl's eyes up to hers.

"Yeah." Haley began, taking a breath readying to tell the story. "She…" pausing, she looked in her roommate's understanding gaze. "You know, don't you?"

"She told me the morning of the shooting. When I told her you were looking for her." She explained right away, not wanting the girl to think that she too had kept this from her.

Haley nodded, accepting it and taking another breath.

"What do I do?"

"What do you mean?"

" I mean…" she told me, literally seconds before the shooting." Haley recalled. "And when everything went crazy she sort of saved me…_again_. A part of me is saying life's too short, she's sorry, move on."

"And the other part?"

"The other part is shouting that I was cheated out of my right to be angry about this. That Jimmy took that away too when he did what he did. Took away my chance to hold a grudge and be deservedly bitter." She sighed and stood up. "I mean, under normal circumstances, it's safe to say I'm allowed to be pissed about this right? But in these very _abnormal_ circumstances, with something so much bigger having happened, can I be? I mean, someone died, Brooke, you almost did. Our lives were completely thrown and changed and that part of me is still there. Still wanting to feel that."

She paced back and forth near her friend's bed as she let her thoughts fall out, hoping for some directional feedback from her.

"Is that ok?" she asked without waiting for a response. Continuing her ramble of confused thoughts. "Should I just be the bigger person and find a way to accept the way these things happened? That maybe they happened this way for a reason? I mean, Nathan says I should feel my feelings, but I don't know. I really don't."

Haley finally stopped and reclaimed her seat looking for guidance from the bedridden girl. Wringing her hands she invited a reply.

"What do you think?"

Brooke did her best to choose her words carefully. It was a conflicting situation for sure. Brooke had her own personal feelings about it, but didn't want to influence Haley with it in one way or another. After all, it was Haley who this affected most, not her.

"You know…what I think isn't what matters."

"But it does." Haley stated. "It matters to me. I need help with this, Brooke. If it were you, how would you handle it?"

Brooke grinned humorlessly before answering.

"If it were me," she began, looking at her hands a moment before back to Haley. "If it were me, honestly, I'd probably hold a grudge for a while, despite what happened."

Brooke shook her head a bit, upset by the answer while, at the same time, knowing there was a fair chance that it was truly how she'd act.

"But that's me." She continued, keeping her eyes connected with Haley's. "And you are a much better person than I am; than all of us."

Haley sighed and looked away, shaking her head.

"I'm only human Brooke." She spoke. "You guys, you can't keep putting me up on some, some pedestal. This year is proof enough that I don't belong there. I guess I can be grateful to Peyton for knowing I don't have to worry about that with her."

"Haley, listen," Brooke began, wincing slightly as she pulled herself to sit up a bit. Holding her friend's hand she spoke with direct certainty. "You _are_ a good person; better than most, no matter what you think or say otherwise. Now, this situation, it sucks. It really does. But I can't tell you what to, ok. Nathan, Lucas…nobody can. Only Haley can. So give her a chance to figure it out and trust her; she's a smart girl."

"Thanks." She said with a smile, giving her another careful hug.

"You're welcome." Brooke answered, rubbing her back up and down once. "I've got your back roomie. Whatever you decide, understand?"

Haley nodded and Brooke smiled when they parted.

"Now." The cheerleader began, cocking an eyebrow. "About those details."

0

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	31. Of Men And Angels

**A/N: I know it's been forever, and I apologize both retroactively and also in advance because it's gonna be a bit longer before the next one comes too. On top of not having my own laptop anymore, we are currently moving and will be without internet until …well until we get it back. I can't say for sure when it will be, but in the time that I'm away I will definitely be working on everything I've got running. Hope this satisfies you guys until I get a chance to return!**

**

* * *

**

"_I don't want it anymore_

_If it's not you that I gain_

_Wanna fall at your feet_

_Don't wanna fall from your peace_

_I understand…"_

'_Of Men and Angels'_

-The Rocket Summer

* * *

The bell rang above the door as it opened to welcome visitors to the café. Karen looked up to greet the customer and smiled when she saw who it was. She walked up to them happily.

"Well look who it is." She spoke playfully. "The Scott's out on the town. Beginning to think you two skipped town."

The couple smiled back at the tease. Since fully rekindling their relationship, they hadn't really left the apartment or each other very often. But regardless of any wishes they may have, the world existed and they knew they had to get back to it.

"When do I get my best waitress back?" she asked Haley.

"As soon as you'll have me." She returned with a smile for her boss.

Her physical therapist had given her the go ahead for some short shifts until her leg was strong enough to take the full hours of running back and forth.

"Great." Karen answered, genuinely glad to hear the news.

Haley nodded and turned to Nathan,.

"I'm gonna head to the bathroom, grab a table?"

"You got it." He agreed, giving her a quick kiss. She looked to Karen and slightly blushed; as if she'd just kissed her boyfriend in front of her mother. Nathan chuckled amused at her display when she walked away.

"So," Karen started, now alone with the young man. "looks like things are going well for you two."

The boy grinned and nodded.

"The best they've been since we first got married actually." He informed her.

"No more worries about what if's then?" she asked, remembering their in-depth conversation at the hospital a lifetime ago.

"No they're still there." He admitted. "They're just…different. Not about me getting hurt or anything like that."

"Oh?" she asked slightly surprised, looking intently at him. "What is it?"

He sighed and led Karen over to a corner booth where he sat and chose his words.

"They're mostly usual things; normal things. You know, what if something happens when I'm not around? What if Dan tries to come between us again? What if she's pushing herself too hard to come back to work? Just, you know, stuff you'd expect if you're, well, us."

"But there's something else." Karen noted, hoping he'd trust her enough to share it rather than keep it inside where it could fester and be dwelled upon.

"Yeah." He answered after a moment, taking a breath and running a hand through his hair. "A day last week, we were at the apartment and just being stupid you know, nothing important. We were joking around and having a good time and laughing and whatever, about nothing, right? And…then I saw her take one of her pills. The pain medicine they gave her."

"Ok." Karen spoke, not catching where it was going and waiting for him to continue.

"I don't even know why, because I've seen her take them before, but for some reason, some stupid reason, when that day when she did I…" he looked over his shoulder in the direction of the bathroom to ensure his wife wouldn't appear at a bad time to overhear. "I got this, this flash of my mom."

"Nathan," she began concerned now about the message she was getting. "do you think she's abusing them?"

"No." he answered right away, ashamed at the next part of his confession. "I know she isn't. I've been counting them."

"Nathan-" she started this time with a more berating motherly tone.

"I know." He let out, upset with himself for being so suspicious of her. "I know! I shouldn't. I just…once it got in my head I started thinking of all these reasons she might need the high or escape or whatever. Everything became evidence that made it seem possible. Her family being away, my dad being a jerk to her about us…"

"Honey, none of that's exactly news." She explained. "Haley's the youngest, you know her brothers and sisters have been far off for a while now; her parents always had reasons to be away, even when she wasn't married to you. Trust me, she may not like it, but she's used to it." Karen continued. "And as far as your father goes, again, she's used to it. If she's like everyone else, she expects it by now."

"I know, ok?" he said curtly, angry with himself however, not the woman he spoke with. "But then there's the accident, and her dealing with being more limited in what she can and can't do yet, the shooting, Brooke being shot, and than all this stuff with Peyton. It's all way too much for anyone to take. And it all looks like reasons."

Karen looked at him confused a bit. She shook her head slightly.

"What thing with Peyton?"

Nathan shook his own head in response and answered vaguely. "She's just not who I thought she was. I don't want to talk about her."

"Alright." Karen agreed for the moment, making a note to find out what that was about later. "Are you still counting them? Have you today?"

"When I was about to shower." He admitted.

"And?"

"And nothing." He answered. "She only takes one, if any. Sometimes the number doesn't change at all from one day to the next."

Karen let out a sigh and saw a man at the counter signaling to her for more coffee. She nodded to him with a polite smile before turning to Nathan and telling him straight out.

"Haley is not your mother. She's not abusing and you know that for a fact. You need to talk to her about this to stop your worries before they take you too far."

"How? How do I tell her I haven't been trusting her?" he asked. "How do I say that I'm counting her pills because I think shell become an addict just like-"

"Nathan." Karen spoke up, stopping him with wide eyes.

He followed her sight, dreadfully aware of what he'd see when he did. He was correct, finding his wife only a few feet from them.

"Haley-" he began, reading on her face, in her eyes, she heard enough to be upset by the conversation.

"Finish it." She said quietly. "What you were going to say, finish it."

Nathan looked to Karen who was apologetically glancing between the two of them.

"Haley." He tried again, rising to his feet.

"Like Deb." She finished for him as he stood in front of her. "Like your mom. Is that what it was?"

Not knowing what else to do, he reluctantly nodded and saw the moisture automatically develop in her eyes. She sniffed and nodded herself.

"Well ,that sounds as good a way as any to tell me."

Stepping back when he reached out for her and moving past him, making sure to keep a good space between them. She left as quickly as she could and Nathan followed as soon as she was out the door.

"Haley." He called as he kept his speed to follow alongside her. "Hales, wait please."

She ignored him, walking a little faster; feeling the twinge it caused to travel up her leg as she did, but ignoring it.

"Haley." He said her name again. "You can't do this. You have to take it easy. You knee-"

"Don't worry, Nathan. I can always just double my _fix _when I get home." She spat. "Or maybe I'll just shoot up. Yeah that's a lot more effective."

"Stop." He said, finally having enough and grabbing her arm, forcing her to do so. "Let me explain."

"My husband thinks I'm a junkie." She stated. "What's to explain?"

"No! That's not it ok?"

"You've been sneaking away to count the damn pills, Nathan." She reminded him of what she'd heard.

"I know."

"And what did you find out?" she asked. "Am I throwing them back a handful at a time?" she asked.

"No." he answered.

"I thought we were trusting each other." She told him. "I thought we were back to us. Being open and honest."

"We are." He replied. "I trust you."

"Obviously not."

"Can I explain?" he asked and immediately started before she could say anything. "Last week, when I saw you take one, for some reason, I thought of my mom."

"Yeah, I got that much. You think I'm Deb Scott the second." She retorted.

"She told me once, that the drugs made it easy; made it so she could escape the bad things in her life when they were too much." He told her. "And I started to see all the bad things you'd want to escape. There's so much of it from the accident to the shooting, Brooke and Peyton. It would make sense if you needed something to help deal with it all."

"So I start taking drugs?" she shook her head. "Nathan the night you told me you wanted a divorce, my world was demolished. It was awful. And you know what I did? I cried and ate my weight in ice cream. That's how I dealt with the absolute worst news of my life. You think I'll jump from that to addiction because of Peyton?"

"Look I'm sorry." He apologized. "Isn't it reasonable to think that maybe you'd be overwhelmed by all of it? That I'd assume you'd need a crutch once in a while?"

"You're right Nathan." She crossed her arms. "I do get overwhelmed and I do need an escape and a crutch sometimes. But I _thought _it was obvious I already have one."

"I know you do." He started and sighed. "I just, there are some problems music may not be enough to help with."

"Not music, Nathan." She disagreed. "I'm talking about you. You help me escape when it's too much. You hold me up. I can handle all of it as long as I know I have your arms around me."

"You do." He promised. "You always will."

She sighed.

"I just want you to talk to me, Nathan. A real talk, not an apology and an explanation." She informed him. "Tell me when something bothers or upsets you and we can work it out together and avoid all of that. Ok?"

"Ok." He agreed.

"Ok." She repeated, stepping into him for a hug. "See? This is the only drug I need."

His chest shook under her cheek with a small laugh and he held her tighter. She smiled against and he pulled back, taking her hand in his. Looking down at it, he realized that his preplanned scenario was out the window. It didn't matter what he'd had in mind, all that mattered was the moment feeling right.

And that moment, on the sidewalk outside the pizza place they'd had their third date, where she clumsily knocked her glass over spilling coke across the table and onto his lap… right there, the moment felt right.

With a gentle touch, he slid the ring from her finger.

"Nathan, what-" she began to ask, her words halting the moment he lowered to his knee in front of her.

"Haley," h started. "you've given me so much more than I ever imagined I could have; than I ever thought I deserved. I wouldn't trade a single day I've had knowing you. I want every moment with you for the rest of our lives. I know we're already married, but I'm asking you: Haley James, will you marry me again? In front of our whole world, will you be my wife?"

It took her a few moments to find her voice. For a handful of heartbeats, she could only stare with wonder and love shining in her eyes. However, when she finally did she answered with the only word she had.

"Always." She answered, taking a breath and breaking a huge smile onto her face. "Always."

His own smile spread as he slipped her ring back on her finger, bringing her hand to his lips and pressing a kiss into it. Then shooting up to his feet, he wrapped his arms around her and felt her return the embrace.

They separated only long enough for her to pull the necklace from beneath his shirt and take the ring from the chain to return it to it's rightful place on his finger.

Then they came together again.


	32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

**A/N: Alrighty, a million years later, here's an update with a few things I have to say first. Number 1 being that this story has been an awesome adventure to take with you guys, but it is reaching it's end. I've said this eighty times before, but I now have proof that this time it's for real. The proof being, I've written it through to the end. As in, no more writing for it, all that's left is the typing. There are **_**exactly**_** 4 chapters left.**

**Second lots of dialogue in this chapt...obviously things need to be said.**

**Finally and absolutely most important is that I dedicate this and all future creations of mine to my good friend who's life prematurely ended last weekend. His death has been an incredibly painful blow for me to take and I'm hardly at any point resembling closure. He was a beautiful soul and always encouraging me to follow my inspiration wherever it takes me. **

**I love him and my life, as well as the world, is less than it was without him in it.**

* * *

_"I'm glad that you can forgive_

_Only hoping as time goes_

_You can forget."_

_'The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot'_

- Brand New

* * *

She stood cautiously in the doorway, uncertain of how it would go once she finally crossed into the room.

In her mind, she'd gone back and forth on what she would do and how she'd do it. It'd been almost two weeks and Haley had happily let herself get completey caught up and distracted with wedding plans and preparations. But she knew she couldn't avoid it anymore. Refusing to remain in limbo, she forced herself to finally come to a decision.

Her eyes saw the girl, her back to Haley across the room working on something Haley couldn't see while music played loud enough to block out any earthly sounds. She stood still and waited. While she racked her mind in an attempt to remember the last time she'd been there, Peyton happened to turn around for some reason of her own.

The blonde jumped upon seeing she wasn't alone. Once she registered who it was there with her, she let out an awkward 'Hey' that was easily lost in the collaboratio nof voice and instrument that filled the air around them. Realizing that very fact, she turned off the music, wiping her palms on the legs of her jeans and trying again.

"Hi." she greeted quietly.

"Hi." the same uncertain tone in her voice.

"I wasn't expecting you."

"I know." Haley answered and shifted her weight before stepping forward.

"Does Nathan know you're here?" she asked. "Last time I saw him he was pretty clear that I stay away from you."

"I know." she repeated. "He shouldn't have done that. His heart was in the right place, but it's my decision to make, not his. I told him that. And, yes, he knows where I am."

Haley paused a moment and crossed her arms over her chest, taking a few more steps into the room. After a breath, she tore her eyes from the floorboards and looked at Peyton again.

"We're renewing our vows." she informed her. "Having another wedding."

Peyton nodded.

"I heard." she smiled. "Congratulations."

Haley nodded as well and Peytong continued with a thought that came to her.

"Did you, uh, come to tell me to keep away from it?" she asked, slightly fearing the answer.

"Actually, I came to give you this."

Haley looked down where she pat the envelope anxiously against her hand beofre stepping forward and offering it to her. Once it was out of her hand, she took that same step backward and let Peyton examine it. Green eyes gazed at it a moment, taking in the familliar handwriting that scrawled her name across the center. She felt an excitement and a wave of relief and happiness as she jumped to the conclusion of what may be inside.

Peyton had felt a deep sting over the past few days as she saw and heard classmates around her discussing it. Reading their invitations and planning who to bring and what to wear. She'd assumed she wouldn't be on the guest list.

Just to be sure that she wasn't getting ahead of herself, she opened the envelope and pulled out the card to see it was, in fact, an invitation to the wedding. Surprise evident in her eyes, she looked to her visitor.

"Thank you." she began genuinely. "Does this mean...will we be ok?"

Haley took a breath and let it out in a sigh.

"It means..." she started, playing with her fingers. "It means I want you at the weddding."

Peyton looked down at the card, obviously not the answer she'd been hoping for. She slid it back inside and set it down.

"Haley..." she tried, but honestly had no clue what to say that she hadn't said already.

"Can I say something?" the tutor asked almost sounding nervous. Peyton nodded.

"Brooke's my maid of honor." she stated, offering the seemingly unrelated fact out of nowhere. "And my only bridesmaid. If what happened, _hadn't_ happened...I would've been asking you to stand up there, too. But I can't. I literally can't even bring myself to picture you up there with me."

Peyton felt the shot hit her straight in the heart.

"I understand."

"I don't think you do." Haley shook her head. "I don't think you know how much it hurts me to feel that way about you. You know, I've never really had girlfriends Peyton. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I had you and Brooke. You guys helped me with stuff I couldn't talk to Luke about. I mean it was like having my sisters back in my life. Only, you know, different versions of them who I was closer with, but you get what I'm saying."

She'd inadvertantly began a pace while rambling which she stopped as soon as the words did. Looking to Peyton, she let out a small sigh.

"Now here we are...and I have two choices." she announced. "I can hol don to the anger and resentment about what happened and basically be the person you were to me for months. Or I can be the person I _wish_ you'd been. i can move on from it all and find a way to imagine us being friends again; real friends."

Peyton held her breath, feeling the air around her stiffen. Bracing herself, she sat on her bed and cautiously asked her the question of the day.

"Who are you going to be, Haley?"

Haley came closer and sat beside the blonde girl. Looking straight ahead a moment and letting out breath slowly, she told her.

"I can forgive what happened, Peyton."

"Really?" she breathed with a smile almost shedding relieved tears.

Unable to stop herself, she went to hug her, but Haley halted her. Putting up a hand and uttering the dread word: "But."

Now Haley closed her eyes and shook her head when she spoke.

"But not the secrets." she confessed and opened her eyes to look at her. "I can move past what you did. A stupid, impulsive mistake you wish you could take back. We all have them. And honest to God, if you had just _told_ me about it right away, I would've been upset, sure, but I would've forgiven it. Just like I can now. But you didn't tell me. You kept it a secret and you lied and hid and that I can't get over so easily."

She took a steadying breath and faced her; locking brown and green eyes.

"I'm sorry, Peyton, but..." she continued to speak quietly as though it pained her to do so. "It's gonna have to be this way a while."

"How, uh, How long is a while?" she asked, already knowing it was foolish to do so.

"I don't know." she admitted. "Until I can look at you again without feeling it."

Peyton said nothing more, wiping at a fallen tear. She understood that and, what was more, she could respect it.

"You know," she sniffled, her eyes suddenly mesmerized by her hands in her lap. "Brooke's always been like a crazy sister to me who was my total opposite in everyway. But, But you were different."

She couldn't look up at her as she spilled her heart regarding their friendship.

"At first it was like...like you were this little sister who came tome when she had questions about her boyfriend or whatever," she recalled. "But then it changed. You took charge of your life and asserted yourself in this _amazing_ way and then you became more of an older sister that _I_ went to for answers. And it would have been an honor to stand with my big sister on her wedding day. I'm sorry I ruined that chance...for both of us."

She finally looked up, having finished saying her piece and saw Haley biting her lower lip. Her eyes shone and she only nodded her head, looking in front o her saying before she stood.

"I'll see you at the wedding."

Peyton closed her eyes, feeling the weight lift from the mattress and the simulaneous hole it left in her heart as Haley got up to leave.

"Haley." she said her name before the footsteps disappeared from her room. She opened her eyes and saw her standing just by the door, ready to leave. Peyton took a shaky breath and promised. "It's gonna be good again...with us. Maybe not soo, maybe not like it was...but good. I know it."

Haley saw that the girl sincerely and desperately felt the words she spoke. She gave a sad smile in return.

"I hope you're right."

* * *

"Welcome to your new home." he said with a smile, turning the doorknob for her.

"I've lived here before remember?" she reminded him with a smile as pushed it open with all the dramatic flare of a game show host revealing a prize.

"True." Lucas nodded. "But not like this."

"Like what?" she asked, walking into the room looking around. "You mean in the guest room?"

"No." he shook his head and came up behind her. "I mean like this."

Pressing kisses on the back and side of her neck, he wrapped his arms around her stomach carefully as she leaned back into him. A true display to what he meant.

The last time he and Brooke lived under the same roof, they weren't together. She'd even thought at the time that he still harbored feelings for Peyton.

"Mm." she moaned, running a blind hand behind her up into his soft hair. "I like it much better this way."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah." she replied. "Why didn't we do this sooner?"

"Because Nathan took forever to come to his senses?" he offered, referring to her need to move out due to the reunion of his brother and best friend/sister-in-law.

Turning around, she pulled on his shirt and backed up until she sat on the bed. Lucas looked down, meeting her eyes, breathtakingly dark with desire. He gave in without any attempt not to. Meeting the cushions of her lips with his own and inhaling everything about her. The further back she leaned, the more he moved forward unti lhe was crawling on the mattress and braced above her.

Her back arched, lifting herself further into his kisses as his lips trailed down her torso.

"Is your mom home?" she felt herself breathlessly ask.

"Not for hours." he answered as he reached his mouth reached her waist.

Slipping his hand beneath the fabric of her shirt, he slid it upwards. Exposing the welcoming skin of her midsection.

It was seeing the puckered, tight pink slash of scarred tissue that marred the perfect landscape of her body that stopped him. Like a deeply sobering moment in which one were unexpectedly thrust under the spray of ice cold water. He froze and it didn't go unnoticed.

"Get lost?" she asked teasingly.

She lifted her neck enough to glance down the length of her torso to where his head and hands were. The joking smile left her face when he looked up and she saw the seriousness in his features.

"What wrong?"

He opened his mouth but said nothing. Instead, he looked back down, running a featherlight touch over the physical evidence of the most terrifying even of his young life; coming so close to losing her. He felt her skin quiver under his fingertips. She now knew what stopped him; what he was looking at.

"Hey." she whispered, summoning his deep blue eyes back up to her. Propping herself up on her elbows, she told him in the same hushed tone. "I'm ok."

"I don't want to hurt you." he admitted. Even though she'd been cleared for certain ...activities a few days ago, it didn't clear him of worry; no matter how much he wanted her.

His confession had her pull herself to sit up and he followed suit; looking into her eyes still. She put her hands on the side of his face and gave him a soft kiss. When she pulled away she spoke in a voice full of power despite it's tender volume.

"You won't hurt me."

She smiled and he felt her statemnt on so many levels; felt it as her being completely ahead of his past mistakes and their old obstacles. He had to smile too as he saw her in this newer light of grace and beauty. And with her next words, he fell in love all over again.

"I trust you, Lucas." she told him with total sincerity. "With my body, with my heart...I'm not worried about you _ever _hurting any part of me."

He brought her hand up to his lips and pressed against it. Looking back up at her, he closed the space between their mouth with a deep kiss. Putting every singly drop of himself into the connection of their lips and tongues, he felt that piece of his soul that she had control of spark a deep glowing fire. He pulled away and his words escaped his mought as if they lived on their own.

"Marry me."

x

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	33. Check Yes Juliet

**A/N: UPDATE! Yes! Lots of dialogue here.**

_

* * *

_

_"Check yes, Juliet _

_I'll be waiting_

_Wishing, Wondering _

_Yours for the taking."_

_'Check Yes Juliet'_

-We The Kings

* * *

The brunette sat alone at the table waiting for the rest of her lunch party to arrive. Jittery and unable to keep her mind from running wild with what went down the night before. She couldn't keep from replaying the moments with Lucas over and over in her mind.

* * *

_"Marry me."_

_Brooke froze her actions and her eyes widened. Pulling back from him, she looked in his eyes._

_"Did you just..."_

_"I think I did."_

* * *

"Brooke."

The cheerleader jumped in her seat, the voice pulling her from the recollection.

"Yeah." she said right away in surprise. "What? Hi. What?"

Karen looked at her curiously, tilting her head a bit with a chuckle.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. You know me." she rambled out quickly. "The picture of fine."

Brooke winced as she heard her own stupidity fall out of her mouth.

"Really? You seem..." Karen looked her over while searching for the word. "...jumpy."

"Caffeine." she pulled up a lie. "Too much coffee, too much caffeine. Jumpy Brooke."

Karen cast her eyes to the table in front of the seated girl and noted it was vacant of any beverage. Brooke noticed as well and figured out what she was doing and fumbled for a cover.

"It's not like you're the only place in town with coffee, right?" she asked with a nervous laugh. "The best, yes, but the only."

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Of course I'm sure." she answered. "You know, I'm practically the deodorant, I'm so sure." she drummed her hands on the table. "Yep. Just a big roll-on stick of certainty."

Karen opened her mouth to say something when the door's bell jingled. She turned her head and caught sight of her son coming their way running his hand through his hair. His tight body language told her that he had something on his mind.

"Hi, honey." she greeted as he came.

"Hey, Ma." he returned giving his mom a small kiss on her cheek. His eyes went to Brooke's who was wringing a napkin in her hands.

"How'd the first night under the same roof again go?" Karen asked looking from one to the other.

"Fine." they both answered in unison.

"Ok?"she replied confused. "I gotta get back to work. Oh, careful, Lucas, shoe's untied."

Lucas looked down and saw his loose laces. Once his mom was gone he got down on his knees to tie it. As soon as knelt, his heart pumped harder and his head jerked up at brook who quickly turned her head away. He tied the strings quickly before standing and tapped a finger nervously before beginning.

"Brooke-"

"No we don't." she cut in quickly, looking forward. She looked to him and eleaborated. "You think we need to talk about it. Nope. We don't."

"I was just gonna ask you to scoot over so I can sit?" he stated gesturing to the booth seat she was currently in the center of.

"Oh." she voiced then did as he asked.

He sat down and they glanced at each other before quickly looking away again. he blew out a breath at the awkward air.

* * *

_Brooke stared at him in disbelief._

_"You just said..." trying still to comprehend it._

_"It kind of... fell out of my mouth." he excused, the two still frozen in the position they'd been in. Him atop her on the bed. "Kind of like ...vomit."_

_"Vomit." she repeated._

_"Kind of." he winced._

_"So you want to throw up on me?"_

_"Not actual vomit. Like, like word vomit." he explained._

_"Much better." she stated cynically. _

_"Maybe we should address the actual content of what was said and not how it was said."_

_"Ok," she began. "You just told me to marry you."_

_"Asked." he corrected._

_"That wasn't a question." she threw back._

_"Ok. A suggestion then." he shook his head, realizing they were doing it again. Putting their focus on the wrong target. And he knew it was on purpose to some degree on both their parts._

_"So you suggested I marry you." she recapped. "Did you mean it?"_

_"I don't know." he confessed. "It just blurted out in the moment. But it's ridiculous, right? I mean, we're not ready...are we?"_

_"Of course we're not ready." she stated adn pressed on his chest to get out from under him._

_"Right." he agreed with a nod, sitting up. "Right, you're right."_

_He began playing with a loose string on the comforter, Brooke sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. She closed her eyes for a moment and asked._

_"Is everything gonna be weird now?" her words went to the air in front of her though they were meant for him to hear._

_"No." he denied and she turned to look at him. "We'll just forget it. Like a rough draft or a deleted scene. We'll pretend it never happened; just a stupid accident."_

_"Ok." she nodded and forced a smile as best she could muster._

_She leaned and gave him a brief kiss._

_"I think I'm gonna go to bed." she told him and he nodded._

_"Me too." he said getting up, pausing a second. "Remember tomorrow we're meeting-"_

_"Naley a the cafe." she finished with a nod. "Maid of honor knows what she's doing."_

_He gave a small chuckle that sounded too forced and nodded._

_"Goodnight Pretty Girl."_

_"Goodnight." she smiled and he turned to exit the guest room that was now her bedroom. "Lucas?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"It _was_ an accident right?"_

_"Yeah." he nodded. "Completely."_

_"Ok." she replied then repeated once more. "Goodnight."_

_Lucas walked out the room, closing her door behind him. He waited a moment, letting out a long sigh. Looking at the door between them he touched his palm against it and then knocked his knuckles against his forehead. He walked away trying to figure out if it _really_ was an accident._

* * *

"Hey guys!" Haley greeted the couple cheerfully with Nathan at her side.

The duo slid into the booth across from them.

"So," Haley started still excited. "got wedding bells on the brain?"

"What?" Brooke asked at the same time Lucas said. "No."

The couple looked at each other for a breath as if they'd been caught committing a crime. Brook faced Nathan and Haley's surprised expressions.

"Why would you say that?" she asked.

"Um..."Nathan gave a look to his soon-to-be wife again. "because the wedding is in less than a week-"

"Five days." Haley contributed.

"-away." her husband finished. "And you guys have pretty big parts, remember?"

"Oh." Brooke began. "Yeah of course. Super excited. It's all I think about."

Haley looked questioningly between the two.

"Are you guys-"

"Yes." their unified answer halted her mid-question.

The four sat in silence a moment, Nathan, with his arm draped over his wife's shoulders, peered at his brother. Something was up. Obviously. he'd ask Luke more about it when thwy were alone, as he was sure Haley would do the with other half of the strange acting couple.

Whatever it was, he hoped it could be worked out quickly and cleanly. He didn't want anything to make their wedding day anything other than absolutely perfect for Haley. He wanted it to be everything she ever dreamed of. Everything he couldn't give her the first time.

With thoughts of her smile that day on the beach, Nathan squeezed his arm a bit tighter, holding her that much closer to him. She felt this and, thoush she continued discussing their plans for the day as if nothing changed, she reacted naturally. Leaning into his body, laying her handon his thigh under the table. He had to smile.

"Ok?" he heard her ask and knew he'd missed something. he looked at her, her eyes waiting for his answer.

"Ok." he stated hesitantly after a moment.

"You weren't listening were you?" she asked with a grin.

"I may have let my mind wander." he commented with a smirk.

"To what?"

"How much I love you." he told her adn she smiled and squeezed his chin a second.

"So cute." she commented as she did then kissed his cheek.

Nathan learned she'd been referring to the plan to split up, girls and guys, to finish uptheir respective obligations still in need of completeion before the big day.

"Alright, team." he said jokingly. "Break."

The girls were left alone, as the men left to finish their preparations.

* * *

"Brooke!"

"What?" she asked jumping in place.

"You're not listening." she accused.

"Yes I am." Brooke tried to deny.

"Brooke, I just told you I was going to wear my poncho over my dress." she stated laughingly. "And yo usat there adn said it was a good color for me."

Brook looked at her with wide eyes, not believing she could have actually said such a thing and not even realize it.

"I did?" and Haley laughed again.

"Yeah. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." she lied then said. "Just distracted I guess."

"Uh-huh." Haley leanon her elbow. "This distraction, it's about six feet tall, blue eyes, blonde hair, occassionally sleeps with you?"

Brooke gave a small smile without much behind it and relented.

"Bingo."

"What's wrong? Did you guys fight?"

"Kind of. Not really. I don't know."

"Ok." she said slowly to her former roommate. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Kind of." she responded, then again. "Not really."

"You don't know?" Haley finished and Brooke put her head down on the table's surface and complained.

"Haley." she groaned from the spot. "Ever feel like two different people are talking in your head at once."

"I used to." she began. "Now there's three. One of them's British."

Brooke groaned again at the joke, her head still down and Haley laughed in amusement. Eating a fry and patting her friend's head. She glanced out the window and her smile disappeared.

"Hey," she started. "I'll be back in a second. Will you be ok?"

"No." Brooke moaned from her still lowered head.

"Alright, be right back." Haley said getting up and leaving her there.

When she realized Haley had actually left for whatever reason, Brooke lifted her head.

"Karen?" she called for the nearby woman.

"Yeah Brooke." she greeted. "What's up?"

"Do you have any chocolate cake?"

"Sure do." she answered with a warm smile. "Would you like a piece?"

"No." Brooke told her, surprising the woman with more confusion. "Can you just bring it to me?"

"Bring you...the whole cake?" she repeated. Brooke nodded and put her head back down. "Um, anything else?"

"A fork."

* * *

Haley crossed the street adn approached him, hopping up on the sidewalk to stand in front of him. She crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

"There a reason you're staring at people from across the street?" she asked her father-in-law. He looked at her and smirked.

"I hear you and my son are reneweing your vows." he stated.

"That's right." she nodded. "Hope you didn't have any money riding on that expiration date of yours."

"Don't worry, I'm covered." he tossed back. "What about you? Going for a prenup?"

Haley put her hands on her hips and shook her head. Deciding it wasn't worth it, not knowing why she'd even bothered coming over to talk to him. She turned to return to Brooke and whatever was bothering her.

"Consider it. Rockstar divorce is all the rage."

Haley suddenly didn't care about tact and common sense and returned to where she'd been standing.

"You know," she began. "I wasn't going to do this. But you, you just can't find even a little bit of human decency anywhere in your body can you?"

"What are you gonna do?" he asked amused. "Tell me to stay away? Afraid I'll destroy your perfect day by being th eonly one sane enough to say the truth?"

"That truth? You're lecturing m eont he truth?" she poitned a finger against her chest. "I know the truth. I know what you did _Dan_."

He laughed at her threat. Obviously not shaken in the least.

"What I did, huh?"

"Camera doesn't lie." she repeated his own words and his face immediately fell. He wasn't laughing anymore.

"I don't, I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do." she stated firmly. "You released the time capsule that day, didn't you?"

"I..."

"You knew Nathan was angry with me when it was recorded. You knew he'd said harsh things about me." she stated. "You wanted them to get out. You thought it would come between us and it didn't work. But what happened was much worse. Can you even look at that girl in there?"

She gestured behind her where Brooke could be seen in the window.

"I didn't shoot her." Dan said defiantly. "That wasn't my fault. None of it was."

"Yes." she argued. "It was. No you didn't pull the trigger, but you sure as hell loaded the gun by releasing that video. Knowing there were secrets on it. painful secrets and private thoughts. But it didn't occur to you. All that mattered was that Dan Scott would get his."

Dan stood speechless, she'd never spoken to him like that before. This little girl he could intimidate and bully was now firing verbal assaults and hitting every mark she aimed for.

"How can you look at your son? Either of them? Anybody in this town for that matter?" she asked, her emotions rising as she spoke. "That day...That day _marked_ all of us. Every last one of us. We have to carry it with us for the rest of our lives. And _that _is your fault."

She stepped back, catching her breath. Haley's mind made a note that she seemed to ba making quite a few speeches of late. Nathan, Peyton, now Dan. It felt good, getting out everything she wanted to say. It was cathartic. Dan's mouth spasmed and he stuttered out.

"I'm sorry."

She threw a hand up and shook her head.

"Somehow I just _don't _believe you." she told him.

"What can I say?" he asked. "What can I say?"

"Nothing." she shook her head again. "You can't say anything to fix it. it's done. Whta you can do, though, is a favor for everyone: stay away from your sons. Both of them. They're happy, they're loved. Unless you can somehow muster any sort of humanity, unless you can find a way to actually be a _father_, stay out of their lives. I mean it."

Haley realized the irony of telling him to stay away as she had recently had a discussion with Nathan that he couldn't make those choices for her. But she saw this as different. Nathan had repeatedly wished his life to be void of his father.

She left him there, starting to cross the street to return when she heard him again.

"I wasn't always a monster." he stated loud enough for her to hear his self-deprication.

She paused only long enough to respond.

"Again," she started. "I just don't believe you."

x

x

x

x

**haha...i was thinking that the brucas conversation came out sounding a little like a pie maker and chuck interaction. but i kept it. :P Bonus points if you get that reference.**


	34. Then Slowly Grows

**A/N: Update, YES! This is number 1 of the final 3 chapters. Sad face, the end is so close! But I relish in the fact that you guys willing went on this ride with me. ****Let's get going shall we?**

* * *

"_Come to me_

_I'll be the first one waiting_

_I'll be the last to leave"_

'_Then Slowly Grows (Come to Me) '_

-Bethany Joy Galeotti

* * *

He woke on the floor, the hardwood surface leaving a dull ache in his back and neck. Sitting up, he stretched his long arms up to the ceiling, feeling the pull on his various muscles and a few pops in his joints. Letting out an early morning sigh, he looked around to remind himself where he was and why.

Still feeling an amount of groggy sleep in his mind, he wiped his face with his hand and rose to his bare feet. Sunlight slipped in through the room's curtains, casting its rays over the room. He stumbled once with his foot wrapped up in the blanket he'd discarded and made his way to the bathroom.

In the small room, he brushed his teeth and splashed water on his face. Shivering a bit when random cold droplets hit his bare chest. He dabbed his face with the towel and sniffed, now feeling completely awake. Standing up straight, he looked at his reflection. With a now fully aware mind, Nathan grinned at himself.

"Today's the day."

* * *

Unwrapping herself from the blankets, she slowly rose from the soft bed. Carefully quiet so as not to wake the girl in bed who'd stayed the night in lieu of Nathan's presence. She slipped out of the room and went into the living room. Her eyes ignored that which she'd normally be bothered with: half drank glass left on the coffee table, a wrapper, and food containers left about thanks to the return of her ex-roommate. Instead, the honey swirled orbs went only to it.

Bare feet padded on the floor over in its direction. She grabbed the metal zipper between her thumb and forefinger, slowly pulling it down towards the floor. The sun shone into the apartment, casting it's hopeful glow over everything in its path.

The room radiated with the possibilities of the bright day. Haley finished unzipping the clear plastic cover and took in the beautiful elegance before her. Tracing a seam with light fingers, she had to break out into a grand smile, her eyes already glimmering with joyous tears. She took a deep breath and spoke to her dress.

"Today's the day."

* * *

He sat in the chair. The night had come and gone, neither actions stirring him from the spot. His mind ran while his heart anchored him to the seat with its weight. It was quiet all around him, as if the house itself had taken to sleeping for the dark hours. His eyes traveling between the two photos in his hands.

In one, a frozen image of Lucas dressed in a tuxedo at his uncle's non-wedding. His beautiful date on his arm, smiles on both their faces. Obviously the photograph was taken before the day's events had come to pass.

In the other, a picture of Nathan on the beach, his new wife beside him. The photo he'd taken from the boy's album without his knowledge and made himself a copy because he honestly always had a deep sliver of feeling that no matter what, she would always win his son's allegiance. Though he tried to deny it and do all he could to prove it false, he had the picture in case it came to pass that he was sincerely shut out of his life forever.

His eyes went from one picture to the other and he realized what was off about his sons in them. Simply, the two young men looking out at him were happy. Truly happy. Those smiles never came to their faces when their eyes were upon him. He looked up and sighed, closing his eyes. His son's wedding was hours away and he wasn't welcome. Dan hated it. Wanted to ignore it and go; witness it. But the facts were in his hands; in his ears in the form of his daughter-in-law's voice.

So he would prove wrong those who said he couldn't care to do anything for his children. He wouldn't go. His eyes returned to the images in his hands; to the boys that were men. With a nod, he told them and himself:

"I can do this."

* * *

"I can do this."

She told herself, the mirror reflecting the nervous insecurities she felt fluttering inside her. The cluttered counter before her like another reflection, this one not of her appearance but of her life and the mess it had become. Everything everywhere and no sign or hope of order established.

Today was the big day. The wedding she'd been the last to receive an invitation to. The testimony of two hearts devotion to each other. Hearts she'd had a place in, heart's she'd tracked mud all over. She was more nervous about it than either of them, she was sure. She would be alone there. Maybe not physically, but on the outside of the tight circle of celebration. The rectangle plus one had now cut a side off, leaving only the four corners.

She sighed and then picked up the waste basket. Holding it to the counter, she swiped her arm over the surface. All cluttered contents galling into the trash bin. Once everything was in it, she put the can back on the floor and looked at the now clear counter.

This was her chance. Her chance to clean and start fresh. Get in the shower. Get her dress. Make herself presentable and go. Go and watch her friend's happiness and be happy for them. At her reflection, she spoke again with a more certain tone.

"I can do this."

* * *

The sun was shining brightly, all colors brightened by its rays as if it knew it was a special day. A day for love.

The church garden welcomed the guests of the ceremony with its beautiful scenery offering the perfect backdrop. Nathan stood, greeting people, shaking hands and accepting congratulations and well wishes. The flutter in his heart, born from excited energy and not nerves, patting against his ribcage with every second closer to starting.

He hadn't seen Haley since the evening before and the next time he did, it would be as she walked toward him down a long aisle littered with purple petals. The smile that felt permanent since he woke that morning finally wavered. His eyes falling on a guest as she approached.

"Hi." Peyton greeted.

He nodded at her, urging himself not to let anything touch his mood on the great day.

"Thanks for inviting me." she said when he didn't respond to her. "I honestly didn't expect it."

"Well, that Haley." He said to her. "Giving chances to people who don't deserve them."

Peyton nodded receiving the message. He didn't want her there. It wasn't a mutual decision they thought out and agreed upon to give her the invitation. It was Haley's doing and Nathan giving her whatever she wanted on the special day. Peyton took it as it was and looked around.

"The place looks great." She commented. "I'm really happy for you guys. Really."

He pressed his tongue in his cheek and looked around a moment before stepping a little closer in her direction, speaking only for her ears.

"Listen to me," he started. "Haley may want to start with all this water under the bridge stuff because that's who she is. And you'll most likely find your way back into her good graces completely before long. But as for me..it's going to take a hell of a lot more than you feeling sorry for a few weeks."

"I know, Nathan. Believe me-"

"I don't." he interrupted, his eyes like ice on hers. "Believe you. And I'm going to keep my eye on you."

Suddenly she felt a warm hand on her arm that negated the frigid air of their exchange. Lucas got his brother's attention, a hand on Peyton exposed arm.

"Almost ready, little brother." he asked and Nathan stood straight again. "Are you?"

"I've been ready for months." He answered, and got a pat on his shoulder from him.

"That's what I like to hear." Lucas smiled then told the blonde. "I'll take you to your seat."

She gave a quiet thanks up to him and let him usher her away. Before leaving completely with her, Lucas hung back a bit to quietly address Nathan.

"Not today."

He advised him, knowing his brother. He'd seen from across the walkway Nathan's tense body language and came to deter it. The younger Scott had confided in Lucas his personal feelings on the whole mess surrounding the snowy night what felt like years ago.

"This is a good day, alright? The best day." He reminded him. "Today is about you and Haley; nothing else."

"Yeah." He nodded, blowing out a breath. "You're right."

Lucas nodded and smiled, hitting his balm to his brother's back before walking away. His long legs making easy work of the short distance Peyton had continued on without him. Alongside her, he watched his feet for a few steps and then shoved the silence away.

"So I've been ordered to avoid you like the plague." He informed her nonchalantly.

"Brooke?" she guessed who'd given him the order.

"She's pretty upset with you." He told her what she already knew. When he stopped walking, she did as well, looking at the grass before asking.

"She tell you why?" Peyton hadn't directly told him, but the fact that she'd barely seen him other than in classes they shared had her assuming he got the information regardless.

"She did." He nodded.

He looked at her silently, as if waiting for her to say something more.

"Listen, Lucas, it was – it was a _stupid_ thing I did in a heated moment. We were fighting and I - " She began with the same explanation she'd tried giving anyone who meant anything to her in hopes it would keep them from completely hating her. She knew how close Lucas and Haley were, he took any pain she felt as personally as Nathan did. She shook her head. "It was beyond stupid and I felt, I _feel_ awful."

Lucas bit his tongue of all the angry thoughts that had come to him when he'd first been told the story by Brooke. He'd gone almost instantly to Haley who, with less colorful words, confirmed the same story Brooke had told him to be true.

"So why'd you lie?" he shrugged his shoulders, asking the question he really wanted the answer to. "Why hide the truth for so long? Or at all?"

"Because I'm an idiot." She answered. "Because I was scared."

She crossed her arms and looked at him. She could tell he was conflicted, as always when it came to her. Like he wanted to defend her, but at the same time didn't know if he should or could.

"Look, if Brooke wants you away from me, just do it, ok? I don't want to cause any trouble."

He chuckled and put his hands in his pockets.

"Trust me, you won't get me in any more trouble than I get myself into."

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, yeah." He nodded. "I just…you know my mouths says things sometimes before my brain can stop it."

"What'd it say?" she asked, hating being out of the informed circle.

Lucas thought it best to keep his impromptu proposal between him and Brooke for now, possibly forever. Seeing as Haley had yet to come bonk him on the head for it, he could only assume Brooke currently felt the same. The deleted chapter of their story no one else would read.

"Nothing important." He lied. "It's all taken care of."

"Ok." Peyton responded, feeling spurned by his refusal to share with her.

She turned to go sit when she heard him speak again.

"Hey Peyton," he started, not looking directly at her. "You look nice."

* * *

She looked out the window, the flowers in her hand as she looked over the beautiful scenery surrounding the day. She blew out a breath, her gaze falling down to the purple flowers mixed within her bouquet. It was almost time to start, and to Haley's surprise, she felt nervous.

She hadn't expected that at all. Her mind wandered over the many roads and road bumps she and Nathan had taken and hit since that first day on the pier. The day he gave her the bracelet she currently wore regardless of what it may look like partnering the childish beads with her elegant gown.

So much had brought them there and she knew they'd both changed a great deal through the course. The bride was so lost in her thoughts she jumped when she heard her friend's voice.

"Not planning a runaway bride moment are you?" Brooke asked, coming upon the girl thinking hard about something. "Because we have the same gym class. I've seen you run and couldn't possibly get far in those heels without biting it."

Haley let out a small laugh and shook her head with a smile.

"No, just thinking." She looked back outside again and then back to Brooke, confessing. "I'm nervous. Is that weird? I mean, I've done this before. We're already married, but I'm nervous."

"That's normal." Brooke told her coming to stand in front of her.

"You think?"

"No." she said directly. "You're seventeen and renewing your _vows_. Does that sound normal?"

Haley laughed again and Brooke smiled, her attempt hitting its intended target. She put her hand on the girl's back, the material of the dress soft under her touch. She spoke seriously.

"Of course you're nervous." Brooke told her. "It's your wedding. It doesn't matter if it's your second or twenty-second. All you have to do is take a breath and start walking when that music plays. I promise, once you look down that aisle and you see that gorgeous man looking at you like you hung the moon, with a big smile just for you, you'll forget everything else."

Haley sniffled, careful not to cry for the sake of her make-up. She let out a breath to settle her emotions.

"You know Lucas was in here earlier." She began. "He's walking with me. Giving me away."

Brooke smiled.

"That's perfect, Haley."

Haley looked at her and asked.

"Are you ever going to tell me what's up with you two?" she asked. "Something's been off for days."

"Not now." Brooke replied. "Today is about you and Nathan."

Haley nodded at her answer when Karen popped her head in the room.

"It's time."

"Coming." Brooke answered for both of them, then turned to Haley. "That's my cue. I better see you when that music starts."

"Don't worry, Brooke." She assured. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Bet your ass." She teased and left her alone for a few more moments.

* * *

True to her word, as if there was a chance she wouldn't, Haley heard the song being and stepped out to the end of the long walk. On the arm of her best friend, she took a breath and looked ahead.

Her eyes met his and as she'd been told, holding his deep ocean eyes, everything fell away. She smiled and he mirrored the action.

Without a remnant of her previous nerves, she walked forward, knowing without a doubt these were steps she was born to take.

xx

xx

xx

xx


	35. Home Is Me, You Are Mine

**A/N: Here we go: the second to last piece of this tale. As much as I hate to say goodbye to my brainchild, as with a real child (I imagine since I have no children of my own) I am proud to see its growth. The next chapter will be the final one and that one will be the most bittersweet UPLOAD button I've ever clicked. I said it last time and I'll say it again next time, I'm so incredibly thankful to everyone who's taken this journey I've set our characters upon alongside me.**

**

* * *

**

"_Let it be_

_Home is me_

_And you are mine."_

'_Home Is Me, You Are Mine'_

-Everly

* * *

She felt her hands in his, gentle enough to never harm her and firm enough to never let her go. She took a deep breath and held his eyes, though they stole the air right back away from her lungs, as she began to speak, not from the vows she'd written and memorized for this moment, but from her heart to his.

"Nathan."

Unprepared words flowed next from her mouth.

"I'm not graceful." She felt the statement leave her and heard the surrounding bits of laughter at the unexpected start. She smiled and he squeezed her hands a little tighter and she responded the same way before continuing.

"I'm not calm or cool or particularly sane sometimes. But when I see your eyes, when I feel your hands, I forget all of that. There's a power in you that makes everything disappear. You make me feel confident and brave and beautiful; everything I've always wanted to be. I promise today, in front of everyone, to give my life to you. To return the feeling of safety and absolute love that you give me every day. To give every moment, good and bad, to us. This I promise, this I vow, always and forever."

Nathan's smile widened and he had to fight the urge to kiss her right then. The ring now on his finger, her small hands returned to his.

"Nathan." The priest gave him his queue to begin. Nathan looked at her and his voice came out in a whisper.

"God, you're beautiful."

Haley looked down a quick moment with a blush creeping up her cheeks, no one but the people standing at the altar knowing what caused her reaction. Once she looked back up to him, he took a breath and his turn.

"I remember, a long time ago, an arrogant jerk convinced an amazing girl to be his tutor. That girl gave me great advice." He started, standing up a little straighter, feeling more confident in his words than he ever had before. "She told me that believing in yourself is half the battle…and she was right. A year ago we stood on a beach and promised to love each other the rest of our lives. Back then, no one believed this would work. But we did. We believed in our love and the strength it would give us to face anything that came. There were times when it was hard, but we held on; believing for each other when one of us needed help doing it. I know if anyone could feel a piece of how much I love you, no one could ever have doubted us. So _I _promise to _you_, Haley, to give my life to you. To travel whatever journeys life takes us on at your side. To keep you safe and happy and loved. To keep believing in us, always and forever."

She mouthed forever to him and he put the new ring on her finger. She gazed at it, awed with wonder and surprise as he had hoped for.

Brooke looked past the groom, then, to the best man behind him and found him already gazing at her. Tears in her eyes she mouthed to him

"_I love you."_ And he returned it as the man facilitating the ceremony announced.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife…again." Everyone laughed, including the couple. "Nathan, you may kiss your bride."

Not needing to be told twice, Nathan closed the space between them. Haley put her arms around his neck and held him close as they united in the kiss and the cheers and applause erupted from their guests. When the kiss ended, they remained together in an embrace and her immensely happy words were just for his ears.

"We did it." She said breathless with emotion.

"We did it." He agreed, squeezing her again.

They pulled apart and put their clasped hands in the air a moment before walking away from the altar and down the petal flourished aisle.

* * *

Peyton sat at the table where she'd found her name card. There were three other cards at the table she hadn't looked at, but no one else was currently sitting there. Everyone was up and chatting with each other, taking pictures and laughing. It was a beautiful ceremony. Anyone could see how completely perfect the two were for each other. Nathan's vows particularly had struck her.

She wished she'd had the faith in them that they spoke of, that she hadn't let herself become one of the non-believers. It would've kept her from so many stupid mistakes and their consequences.

A few minutes passed and Mouth announced into the microphone the Mr. and Mrs. into the tent and invited everyone to watch their first dance. Peyton felt a smile tug her lips when Gavin DeGraw's voice filled the air. She remembered when Haley asked for her help with Karen's open mic night and the blonde had the amazing fortune to see the man in the store and convinced him to come play. She'd been a bit of a hero that day. She turned in her chair, her eyes going to the couple on the dance floor.

She was practically hypnotized and completely envious of the love in front of her. It was enigmatic. Just as Brooke and Lucas joined them on the floor and Peyton recalled to herself Cooper telling her to save him a dance, she heard someone speak to her.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it-" she answered on reflex before she froze and her brain caught up with the familiarity of the voice.

Afraid she might be wrong, Peyton turned back to the table slowly. Her eyes too shocked to produce the tears she knew normally would have, she could only stare in surprise for a few seconds before forcing out her voice.

"Jake?"

He was really there. Stsanding by her table, dressed up, hair a little grown since she last saw him when he rode away in the middle of the night. He smiled a casual smile and answered.

"Hi Peyton." He picked up a card from the table and spoke amused. "Guess I don't have to ask if this seat's taken."

Peyton snatched the card from his hand to read it.

_Jake J._

Without warning, she leapt from her seat and threw her arms around him tightly. Now the tears came, feeling him return the embrace. She pulled back to ask.

"What are you doing here?" unable to believe it was true.

"I was invited." He answered as if it were obvious. "Kind of last minute, I mean Haley only called me yesterday and I missed the ceremony…"

He shrugged and smirked a sideways smile.

"But…" she tried to register it all. She turned to the dance floor, seeing Haley laugh at something Nathan said, and then turned back to Jake. "But, what about Jenny and Nikki?"

"Later." He told her with a shake of his head, his eyes going to where more couples had entered the floor. "Dance with me."

Peyton speechless let him lead her away from the tables and onto the hard dance floor. She carefully put her head on his shoulder, as if afraid she was imagining him and her head would only go straight through. They slowly began to sway and her lungs filled with a deep breath of him. The tears stung the corners of her eyes and she smiled, still not completely sure if it was really happening or if it was all an amazing dream. She felt him turn his nose into her hair and inhale, his hand moving up a bit on her back to hold her a little closer.

Her green eyes found the newly renewed Scott couple in a similar position not far off. Haley's head on her husband's chest as they remained content in their perfect world. The bride lifted her head, sharing a kiss and bright smile with Nathan then returning her head where it had been, listening to his heartbeat.

On the other side of them, Brooke watched the couple with a smile. In Lucas' arms, seeing happiness in all those around her, she felt something spark in her chest. She pulled her head off of him and stretched up to whisper in his ear.

"Come with me."

He looked down at her confused; they were to give their toasts in a short while. Brooke had been working with crazy devotion to make sure hers was absolutely perfect. But instead of saying any of that, he only nodded and let her take his hand. The two left the floor and the tent altogether, now under the brilliant blue sky.

She held loosely to his hand, taking them a few feet from the white canopy.

"Is everything ok?" he asked when she stopped and turned to him. She bit her lip as she smiled then answered.

"Everything's perfect." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, taking both his larger hands. She looked at them in hers and then in his clear blue eyes. "Ask me again."

"What?" he asked, looking into her eyes and recognizing after a moment what she meant. He felt a small laugh escape him from disbelief and uncertainty and repeated himself. "What?"

"I know you said you didn't mean it, but I think you did. Your mouth didn't blurt it out, Lucas. Your heart did." She told him. "So if you still want it, if you mean it….ask me again."

He felt a goofy smile at her words but only found a flaw. He shook his head.

"I-I don't have a ring or anything." He told her, knowing the kind of beautiful one she deserved to be given. But Brooke shook her head and whispered.

"Ask me."

Lucas licked his lips, suddenly feeling his life had taken him in every direction to bring him there to that moment with her. His future ahead of him, it was everything he ever wanted. And she was right. He _had_ meant it. He knew that the second after he said it. He meant it then, he would mean it again now.

He held her left hand with both of his and lowered to a knee, keeping their gazed locked the entire time.

"Brooke Penelope Davis," he began, feeling her squeeze his hand. "I love you with all of my heart and soul. So I'm asking you, on bended knee, getting grass stains on a rental tux…"

She let out a teary eyes laugh.

"Pretty Girl…will you marry me?"

She nodded quickly, shaking her head up and down and the water slipped gracefully down her cheeks.

"Yes." She whispered. "Yes. Yes!"

He stood up and pressed his lips into hers, lifting her small body up off the ground as her arms wrapped around his neck. He put her down and kissed her again. With a large smile she stepped back and laughed.

"Oh my God." She smiled, happier than she'd ever been in her life. "Are we really doing this?"

His happiness mirrored hers as he replied.

"We are."

She smiled even more and kissed him once again. Pulling back and telling him.

"Come on." She grabbed his hand once more.

"We have to go give our toasts now…about love."

xxx


	36. The End Is Where We Begin

**A/N: Wow. Here it is. The final piece to this tale. What can I say? Thanks everyone. For realsies, you're all in my heart for coming along with me on this. **

* * *

"_If you believe in love _

_You're always alive_

_You're always alive _

_You're always alive…"_

'_The End Is Where We Begin'_

Our Lady Peace

* * *

Peyton listened with deep focus while Jake gave her the short version of his life in Savannah.

Nikki's parents had temporary custody of Jenny while the girl's mother and father worked to prove they were responsible enough to be a part of her life until a new custody arrangement could be determined. He'd had to inform the case workers of the wedding and made sure it was known that he wouldn't be gone long and would submit to any sort of drug or alcohol testing necessary to prove he wasn't up to anything unsavory.

He would be leaving in the morning to go back. She yearned desperately for more time with him, but Peyton wasn't going to turn away what she could get. The RiverCourt guys came to the table, having spotted their friend, and Peyton excused herself to give them time to catch up. She really wanted to talk to Haley anyway.

Her eyes found her with Nathan; they were talking with Deb and Karen. Peyton decided not to interrupt the familial gathering. Choosing to stand aside instead at the caterer's table and wait for the bride to become free.

It was while she was waiting there that the maid of honor approached. Brooke came up to her and grabbed a glass of champagne with a wink to the caterer. The brunette took a sip and stood beside Peyton, following her eyes to look where she did and speaking without looking.

"So how's life in exile?" she asked.

"Quiet." she answered then turned to look at her. "You're talking to me?"

Brooke shrugged and answered with a sigh that sounded almost like happiness floated on her very breath.

"Maybe it's all the mushy love in the air. Maybe I've already had too much champagne. Maybe I'm just seeing more important things in life…but yes, I am." She then bumped her shoulder against the blonde's. "You're still a bitch though."

Peyton let out a small laugh of relief. She didn't know what inspired Brooke to let go of the grudge, but she wasn't going to question it. Perhaps she was right and it was being in the company of all the love that radiated from the newly-re-weds that made it contagious.

"Your toast was beautiful." Peyton complimented. "You hate Shakespeare."

"I hate _reading_ Shakespeare when I have no idea what he's saying." Brooke corrected. "This one was easy: Love does not alter."

She then nodded towards the couple and asked.

"Know anyone else that line fits better?" Peyton looked back where Brooke was and answered easily.

"Nope."

Brooke took another sip and flicked her eyes to where Lucas was with all the guys from the court. He looked her way and she felt her heart rush when their eyes met and she couldn't fight the smile when he winked her way as they silently shared their little secret. He turned back to his conversation and Brooke decided to do the same.

"So Jake's here." She mentioned casually.

"Yeah." The blonde smiled then sighed. "I'm waiting for the bride to be free so I can try to talk to her."

"Good luck." Brooke commented, then saw Peyton look at her and elaborated. "I mean with her having a second away from anyone. On the wedding day, minus the vows, the _groom's_, lucky to have a word alone with the bride."

Brooke reached behind her and grabbed another glass from the table, handing it to Peyton. Peyton took it and had a sip asking.

"So you're not gonna have a chance either?"

"Of course I will." Brooke answered with a scoff. "But I'm a predator. When I want my time, I'll take it; like a lion gets a gazelle."

"You're going to maul her?" Peyton asked, enjoying the teasing.

"I'd never do that to such a beautiful dress." She joked and the girls smiled. Peyton continued to watch the couple and said aloud.

"She brought Jake here for me."

"You better have got them a kickass gift." She responded simply.

Peyton didn't acknowledge the quip, only continued her musing.

"She's a better person than I am."

Another simple response from her friend: "Yep."

"How am I supposed to even _try_ to thank her for this?"

"Hmm…" Brooke said as if thinking of a reason before speaking. "How about _not_ nearly killing her for…let's try the rest of the school year?"

"Brooke." Peyton said, not finding it very amusing.

"Right. Not joking about that yet." She asked feigning ignorance of the fact. She then changed her tone. "You want to show her you're thankful? Try being happy for a change, Peyton. Just enjoy it."

Peyton nodded to herself, then saw Deb and Karen had left the two. She turned to set her glass down, wanting to take the opportunity to get some face time. But Brooke put her free hand on Peyton's arm for her attention and Peyton followed her eyes. Nathan was saying something in his wife's ear. Brooke almost laughed out the drink in her mouth, then pointed with the hand that held her glass.

"He's talking dirty to her." She speculated.

"What?" Peyton asked. "How do you know that?"

"Because I know."

"Brooke, it's their wedding. He's not gonna-"

"Oh." Brooke interrupted and pointed again. "There it is; right there. The blush."

The taller girl looked on and saw that sure enough, Haley was clearly blushing and looking at the floor in an attempt to hide it while Nathan looked at her with a sly grin painted across his face.

"Wow." Peyton stated watching on, holding her glass to the side. "When you're right, you're right."

"It's a gift." Brooke replied, tapping her glass to the blonde's and snickering to herself as she drank their toast.

* * *

Haley felt a tap on her shoulder while Cooper was talking up "the hot piano player" to them. How his congratulations turned into that, she wasn't really sure. But she turned around, immediately smiling and wrapping herself in a hug with her very best friend.

Lucas returned it and happily asked.

"How you doing, buddy?"

"Honestly, I'm exhausted." She told him stepping back. "Everyone wants to talk to us, it's crazy. I remember the last wedding being much less work."

"Well that's what happens when you do it without telling anyone." He commented then grinned. "You look amazing."

She smiled feeling a different kind of blush for his words then the one that came from Nathan's.

"You know, when we were kids, my mom used to tease me that _we'd_ get married someday." He told her.

"Don't be gross." She replied, playfully smacking him and making him laugh.

"That was before she realized what I always knew." He informed her.

"Oh yeah, smart guy? What was that?"

"That you've always been my sister." He admitted, then put his hand on her head and emphasized her height. "My _little_ sister."

Haley smiled, playful and also deeply touched. Though she'd always known it was the status of their relationship, it was a beautiful thing to hear.

"Thank you." She responded, then added. "Big brother."

He smiled and put his hands in his pockets.

"You really are beautiful, Haley." He affirmed. "It looks great on you."

"What did I say about being gross?" she answered lightly to his compliment and he shook his head with a smile.

"I mean happiness." He explained. "It looks great on you."

"I am happy." She told him, reaching out to squeeze his arm briefly. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Come on, Luke. You and Brooke have been acting strange for days and don't think I didn't notice you guys rushing back for your toasts." She gasped. "You didn't sneak away for wedding sex, did you?"

"No." he answered laughing.

"Lucas Scott."

"No. No, I promise."

"Then what?" she asked. "You look like the cat that caught the canary."

He laughed again. He pressed his tongue into his cheek and thought about it. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Brooke laughing with Bevin and Peyton and made a decision. He leaned forward and whispered only into Haley's ear, the secret that had him so clearly happy.

When he stood up to his full height, Haley was looking at him with a look of shock and undiluted happiness.

"Are you serious?" she asked in disbelief and he nodded.

"I've never been more serious about anything in my life."

Without warning, Haley flung herself into him for another crushing hug. She was so terribly thrilled for her friends. While in his arms, she spoke.

"I have a secret too." She told him, then turned to speak it for only him to hear.

Lucas' eyes widened and he pulled back.

"Ok, are _you_ serious?"

"Yeah." She answered, sounding slightly nervous and looking to him for assurance. He looked towards his brother and asked.

"Does Nathan-"

"Not yet." She replied quickly. "Today. After we leave, I'm going to tell him. Lucas, what if-"

Lucas pulled her into another hug and squeezed her tightly, feeling the material of her dress ruffle beneath his arms.

"It's going to be fine." He promised. "Better than that, it's going to be great. You guys are made for this. Don't worry about it. You'll see, he'll tell you how much he loves you, and then you can enjoy your honeymoon."

"You think?" she asked, terribly worried.

"I know."

* * *

Hand in hand, they moved quickly down the walk to where the limo waited. Heads down against the assault of rice showering over them from their cheering guests.

Peyton couldn't say she wasn't disappointed. She hadn't had the chance to speak to Haley.

They reached the back of the long black car, festively decorated for the drive to the airport. Happily announcing they were going to London despite its reputation for stormy weather. It was, in fact, the exact reason they'd chosen it for their romantic getaway.

Nathan opened the door, his wife turning before getting in to wave to them all once more. Peyton waved back along with the crowd, certain she would remain unnoticed and not have a sense of contact with the girl until they returned from their trip. However, unexpectedly, she found her gaze connecting with Haley's for a moment.

The blonde tried, in the short window, to convey the words she wanted to say as best she could. Haley answered her with the simplest of acknowledgements. Tossing a wink at her, she then sat in the limousine, Nathan sliding in next to her.

Peyton smiled and leaned back against Jake's chest who then asked her.

"You ok?"

"Yeah." She answered. "I think things are finally on the way to ok."

* * *

The crowd dispersed and soon Lucas found himself alone in the tent. He had reviewed the day in his mind and still couldn't believe all that had happened. He ended up at the DJ table looking through the collection. Brooke entered after bidding farewells and spoke to him across the empty dance floor.

"Do you take requests?" she asked.

"Only for the prettiest listener." He answered. "What would you like?"

"What would I like?" she asked aloud as if thinking about it.

She took slow steps across the floor, her heels clicking on the wood as she answered once close enough.

"I would like to dance…" she paused coming right up to him. "…with my fiancé."

"I think I can manage that." He replied. He reached over and turned on the last song that had been queued to play.

He held her close as they slowly moved with one another to the music. Lucas turned his nose into her hair and inhaled her scent deep into his lungs.

"I love you." He whispered into her chocolate strands and promised. "I'm going to put a ring on that finger. The first chance I get."

"Doesn't matter." She answered from her dreamy moment.

"It does to me." He told her softly. "You deserve a beautiful ring, and I'm going to give you everything you deserve."

She snuggled against him and spoke.

"I love you, Lucas. If we have to get married in jeans and t-shirts, it will still be a dream come true."

He kissed the top of her head and held her smaller body as the song played on.

* * *

Nathan sighed, leaning back against the bench seat in the back of the limo, Haley leaning into his chest. He held her hand, playing with her fingers.

"Did you ever think, in a million years, we'd end up anywhere near here when I walked into the Tutor Center that day to ask for your help?"

"God no." she answered with a laugh.

"Me either." He grinned. "But look at us."

"Look at us." She repeated in a whisper. "This has been the most wonderful, most exhausting day of my life."

"Same here." He agreed. "You have the tickets and passports?"

"Oh my god!" she said sitting up suddenly, realizing she didn't have them. She turned towards him. "I left them. They're in my bag back at the reception."

Nathan chuckled at her response and tried to calm her.

"Hey, it's alright." He told her.

"Nathan, we need to go back. We're going to miss our flight."

"Relax." He instructed, then reached in his tux jacket and showed her what he had in there. Tickets, passports, everything they needed to board their flight and get into another country without trouble.

"How…Why'd you ask if you knew I didn't have them?" she asked accusingly.

"Because I love to get you worked up." He said with a grin, leaning in to kiss her but she pulled back.

"Not cool, Mr. Scott." She told him and kept her face out of reach of his kiss.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Scott." He told her, playing along and she then allowed him to kiss her. She leaned herself back against him and he settled comfortably beneath her.

"I can't believe I forgot them." She thought aloud.

"It's ok." He assured. "I was double checking everything. One of us would have ended up with them."

She smiled.

"You're good to have in a crisis." She mused.

"That's me." He grinned, running his hand up and down her arm.

Haley bit her lip, contemplating her timing and decided to just get it over with and sat up looking directly at him.

"That's good." She stated then held a nervous smile . "Because …I have something to tell you."

He looked at her, reading her body language to know it was something serious and sat up as well.

"Ok." He began. "What's up?"

She took a deep breath and raised her shoulders with uncertainty of his response and let out the words.

"I'm pregnant."

X

X

X

X

**

* * *

**

A/N: So that's the show. Leaving Town Alive is concluded. However, if there's a consensus, I've been toying with the plots and ideas for a sequel to it. If I do it, it won't be right away as I have another OTH story on deck waiting to publish since this one's done.

**So keep eyes open for Falling Slowly, and after not too long, possibly a sequel to LTA will be up as well.**

**Again thank you thank you thank you thank you ALL for everything!**


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